A/N: I've been trying to get my writing act together and finish at least something I've started. This is a long way from finished, but I'm working on it and I hope to have updates coming periodically if not frequently lol.
So, last chapter was fluffy, and now back to some angsting. Nothing is easy for these two. Why am I so mean...

Chapter Eighteen.

In a brutal comedown from his amazing weekend, Axel knew from the second he walked into work on Monday that he was going to have a shift from hell. Setzer's voice echoed through the closed door of the staff room from the other side of the building and instead of sounding irritated like he usually did, the owner of Wayfinder sounded downright furious.

Gritting his teeth Axel walked forward and as he got closer Setzer's words became clearer as the man yelled, '… so stupid! It's not fucking rocket science to stack the bar without destroying half of my supply of alcohol and ruining my damn shirt while you're at it! You know what Daisy? You can get the hell out and don't bother coming back! You're fired, so get your useless ass out of my bar!'

Pulling up short in shock at what he had just heard, Axel gaped wordlessly at the closed staffroom door for a second, but he quickly snapped his mouth shut and took a deep breath as the implications hit him. Setzer's bar had always had a high turnover of staff, as far as he knew Axel was the longest standing employee although he had only been there for eleven months, but even though he had been witness to more than one messy firing he had never heard Setzer lose his shit so badly. As he was standing in the gap at the end of the bar Axel was nearly knocked off his feet when Daisy stumbled out of the office and ran out of the bar in tears.

For a moment Axel was torn between the need to get to work and the powerful urge to run after Daisy and make sure she was okay, but then Setzer bellowed his name and he bit his lip and hurried through to the office. Already knowing what his boss was going to say Axel pasted a blank look on his face and as soon as the office door clicked shut behind him Setzer barked brusquely, 'Damn that Daisy, I might have gotten rid of a worthless employee but now I'm down a worker for this afternoon and the Mayor himself is coming in this evening! Lasair, I need you on until midnight tonight! I can get Kairi to bus tables, but I need you to run the bar for our guests and make sure they're taken care of.'

Setzer's phone went off loudly and Axel found himself dismissed with an impatient hand gesture, the redhead's mouth hanging open at the order he had just been given. Closing his mouth with a snap and doing his best not to glare at Setzer, Axel backed out of the room and vented some of his ire by flinging his things into his locker and slamming the door closed. Axel paused to gulp down a glass of water and took a few deep breaths to calm his temper, trying to think of the money he'd be earning as he strode out to clean up the bar.

Axel's initial premonition proved to be correct about his day being a write-off and he only made it out of the door for his first break at six o'clock by ignoring the barely controlled chaos in the bar and all but running outside. Something Axel had found on his occasional evening shifts was that the night crowd tended to be both more unpredictable and handsier than the day customers and that evening in particular it had taken a lot of effort not to break some jaws when hands started grabbing where they shouldn't. An incident not five minutes before Axel's break still nagged at his thoughts and he glared at the ground as he remembered the face of the leering man who had grabbed him by the hips and pulled him into a drunken embrace.

Letting out a sigh as he breathed in the chill night air Axel gave into an urge that he hadn't felt in a long time and tried to ignore the prickling of guilt as he pulled a battered pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. Sticking the smoke in his mouth and retrieving the lighter that lived in his other pocket Axel flicked his wrist and produced a flame with a grace that betrayed his years as a nicotine addict.

As he took a long drag on his cigarette and pulled out his phone Axel actually managed a small smile when he saw that he had a text from Roxas and the smile became a grin as he read, 'Hey Ax, so what time do you finish again? I'm only asking because I've got a time-sensitive prank all set to go and I need to know when to pull the trigger. Ahem, forget I said that, I mean I need to know when to put the jug on for you.'

Grinning at how easily Roxas was able to brighten his mood Axel quickly replied that he had to do a double shift and would be heading home when the bar closed at midnight, but before he could follow the text with a joke, he heard a sound from behind him at the other end of the alley. Axel knew that the drunken overflow from the bar sometimes found its way into the narrow passage behind the building, so he pasted on what he hoped was a smile and turned to see who was invading his fleeting period of rest. To Axel's surprise there was a lone figure walking towards him and as the person drew nearer he realized that it was a woman who had been part of the group he had had the overly familiar experience with earlier.

Axel straightened up and anchored his smile in place, hoping that the woman had simply gotten turned around while leaving the club, but his hope was quickly dashed. With a sway in her narrow hips and a wide, slightly tipsy grin, the woman sashayed up to Axel and leaned against the wall next him saying, 'Hey Red, didn't know I'd catch something so tasty out here in the cold. I thought I knew all the bartending talent around here, what's your name handsome?'

Despite batting for both teams and having been on the receiving end of pick-up lines on more than one occasion, Axel had never been so blatantly appraised and he found that there was something subtly off-putting about the woman's arrogant confidence. Feeling his smile slip slightly Axel made an effort and forced a semi-natural looking grin before lying affably, 'I haven't seen you around either, my name's Lea. Um, just so you know Miss, I'm not exactly what you'd call as straight as they come and I don't think my boyfriend would like it much if I came home with someone else. Sorry to waste your time out here.'

Axel was surprised when his apologetic spiel simply made the woman smile a slow and lazy smile and his sense of disquiet grew stronger as she purred, 'That is just so sweet Red, I see you've never heard of me then. I can guarantee that once you've tasted Larxene it won't matter if you're gay, straight or otherwise. Sure I can't tempt you back to my lair sweetie? I like my men lanky and innocent, and that flaming red hair is a definite bonus.'

It was only thanks to the darkness of the alley that the look of shock that flickered across Axel's face went unnoticed by the woman as she gave her name and it was lucky that the night hid the revulsion in Axel's eyes. Wiping all expression off his face and thinking quickly Axel stared at the second in command of Thirteen Black and said in an almost normal voice, 'I'm really flattered Miss, uh, Larxene, but I have to get back inside before my boss kills me. I hope you're not offended, but I really am taken.'

Offering an apologetic smile Axel turned away from the still grinning woman with every nerve on his back tingling, willing his wobbly legs to hold him up as he walked back towards the kitchen door. Axel was so focused on maintaining a casual demeanour that he missed movement behind him and he went rigid with shock when a slender hand ran down the back of his neck and arm to clasp his hand and Larxene stood on tiptoes to whisper in his ear, 'Alright Red, play hard to get. In case you change your mind here's my number… And remember Lea, I don't care that you have a boyfriend. Think about me later…'

Axel was left frozen where he stood at Larxene's brazenness and just as his brain slowly started working again he was hit with a thought that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up; what if Luxord, the Luxord, Vexen's brother, was in the club too? Lurching forward as if pushed from behind Axel staggered back into the kitchen and stared through into the dancefloor, his green eyes filled with fear as he scanned the dimly lit faces for the person he had only seen in newspaper articles on drugs, crime and murder. It only took a couple of seconds for Axel to realize that he would never spot anyone specific in the crowded and smoky bar and with a feeling of foreboding he checked his watch and willed the second half of his shift to go faster.

Roxas had spent a wonderfully relaxing, but regretfully Axel-free day in the garage practicing his syllabus for his grading and beating up Axel's battered punching bag. Around mid-afternoon the lure of the warmth of Axel's little house drew Roxas away from his exertions, but once he had warmed up with a cup of coffee he had decided to have a go at blasting through the holiday homework he had been set.

The chiming of the clock at six o'clock had served to drag Roxas out of his homework mode, and when he had dashed off a text to Axel he had found it slightly odd when the answer was simply a short message to let him know Axel's new finish time. It took a lot of effort and distraction but Roxas was able to refrain from texting Axel again, reasoning that if the redhead hadn't replied with anything longer then it was for a good reason and they could just talk when he got home after his shift finished at midnight.

The front door banging open got Roxas up off the couch and he made it to the hallway in time to see Axel stalking through into the kitchen with an inscrutable look on his face. Gathering that Axel's day had been less than awesome Roxas followed and stood in the doorway to the kitchen, watching quietly as Axel proceeded to make the noisiest two cups of coffee in recorded history.

Axel turned around and leaned back against the bench and Roxas got his first proper look at the other teen's face. Roxas had seen a lot of expressions on Axel's animated features, but this was the first time he had seen this particular mix of frustrated fear, anger and worry. There was a long pause as Axel handed Roxas his coffee and then simply looked at him for a long moment before Roxas found his voice and said quietly, 'Ax, are you okay? I, uh, I might have gotten a little worried when I didn't hear much from you.'

At Roxas' words Axel's lips quirked in an almost smile, but the smile disappeared as quickly as it appeared as Axel replied, 'Not really Rox. I've had a shit of a day. Look, do you want to sit down? You kinda need to hear what happened.'

Puzzled and starting to get a little nervous, Roxas slowly walked over to the kitchen table and sat down with his coffee in front of him. Watching anxiously and trying not to look like he was staring Roxas observed Axel out of the corner of his eye and noticed that the redhead's shoulders looked painfully rigid as he moved to sit on the other side of the table. Unable to take the tension any longer Roxas murmured, 'What's going on Ax? I know it can't be good. Now you're really worrying me…'

At Roxas' troubled question Axel seemed to come back to himself and the redhead gave him a reluctant half-smile. Roxas could hear the strain in Axel's voice as he said, 'I didn't really want to tell you Rox, but I couldn't not… Someone came into the bar tonight… NO! It wasn't Vexen... But Rox, it was nearly as bad. First I ran into that raving bitch that Reno told us about, the Thirteen Black one, Larxene. I was on break outside and she decided to have a chat until I could escape inside, but that wasn't the worst because when I started serving again I found out she was there with Luxord and half a dozen other members of Thirteen Black.'

Halfway through Axel's first sentence Roxas felt the blood drain from his face and his stomach lurch sickeningly, and even Axel's hurried explanation did nothing to slow his heartrate or dispel the feeling of dread that clutched his heart. Feeling as though he was floating inside his own body Roxas listening distantly to Axel tale, but by the time the redhead fell silent the main thing that Roxas was feeling was terror that Axel had come into contact with the dangerous Thirteen Black. In a voice that barely more than a whisper Roxas breathed, 'Oh Gaia… Ax… Are you okay? How did you… How did you not freak out?'

Axel reaction worried Roxas even further as instead of answering immediately the other teen abruptly stood and strode over to pull him into a light embrace. Roxas clung to Axel from his awkward sitting position, still coming to grips with how close the redhead had been to peril, and while he buried his face in Axel's chest he listened as Axel muttered, 'Gaia's love Roxas, why are you worried about me? This… I don't even matter in this… Rox, please tell me what's happening in your head?'

At Axel's words Roxas was hit with a wave of conflicting emotions, the force of which took his breath away. Firstly a brief but fiery surge of anger swept through Roxas at how easily Axel had dismissed himself as not even worthy of a thought, but it was quickly eclipsed by a jumbled mess of sadness and love that left him unable to speak for a minute. When he could breathe around the lump in his throat Roxas pulled back a little from Axel and said huskily, 'Don't ever say that Ax, don't you ever say that you don't matter. I kinda know what you're trying to say, but please, don't say that.'

Because he was looking straight at Axel, Roxas clearly saw the sceptical expression that flickered across the redhead's face before it was wiped away and replaced by a look of chagrin. Reluctantly letting it go but filing the issue away for later Roxas cleared his throat and said slowly, 'I'll admit I totally freaked when you said you'd been within spitting distance of Thirteen Black… But I'm okay now Ax, I promise… Can you tell me what happened? I'm guessing there's more to the story than where you stopped.'

By now Roxas had actually become quite adept at reading Axel's sometimes cryptic expressions and he could see reluctance written all over the redhead's face. Trying to squash the fear that rose again when Axel avoided his gaze and hesitated for another long moment Roxas bit his tongue to keep himself silent and eventually Axel said, 'I haven't told you exactly what it's like at the club Roxas, and I didn't want to… A normal night's bad enough because the drunken fuckwits, uh, they get handsy… Drunk fuckwits from Thirteen Black aren't any different. Apparently they like 'em red and lanky.'

Axel's last sentence was said sardonically and with a quirk of his lips, but Roxas found no humour in the words and was fighting the urge to hit something at the thought of anyone touching Axel without consent. Roxas barely recognized his own voice as he snarled out, 'What in Gaia's name was your boss doing Ax? You make it sound like it's normal and it shouldn't, it damn well shouldn't be! Ax… How often does this shit… Why didn't you tell me?'

Through his anger Roxas saw a look of regret and shame flicker in Axel's eyes before the redhead's face went blank and he said flatly, 'I work in a bar Roxas, I guess you could call it an occupational hazard. My boss doesn't give a shit as long as no one punches anyone else and if you really want to know, he's the only one who would hire me with my background. I'm not exactly a catch of an employee Rox and I need the money. And fuck Roxas, how could you even ask… This… It's nothing compared to what you're living with. If I'd thought I could've gotten away with it I'd never have told you, not that there's much to tell. People suck, I can handle it, and how did we end up talking about me huh?'

The sharp tone that Axel used was new to Roxas and felt like a slap in the face. Pulling himself out of Axel's arms and pushing his chair backwards to stand up Roxas couldn't fight the tide of cold that rose up inside him and he cleared his face of all expression before saying, 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I didn't mean to ask about shit that isn't my business. Look, uh, I'll put the dishwasher on, there's no point in sitting in the cold kitchen when the lounge is warm.'

Roxas was already reaching to grab Axel's mug as he muttered his last sentence, so he missed the look of remorse that flashed across Axel's face followed quickly by an expression of utter self-contempt and recrimination. Carrying the mugs over to the sink Roxas avoided Axel's gaze as he stacked the dishwasher and turned it on before walking swiftly out of the kitchen and saying over his shoulder, 'Come and sit down Ax. We can talk about something else and you can relax after the day you've had.'

Focusing on not thinking and not stumbling Roxas nearly jumped out of his skin when Axel's hand landed on his shoulder and gently turned him around just before he reached the couch. Because he hadn't been expecting it Roxas found himself staring straight into Axel's face and he was unable to look away as the other teen said, 'I'm sorry Rox, I didn't mean it like that. Please don't… I wasn't hiding all that stuff at work, it's just… I don't think it's bad enough to take the focus off the shit you're living with. I can deal with the crap at work until I go to university, but you… Fuck… I need to save you.'

Frozen to the spot by the intensity in Axel's bright green gaze Roxas was hit by such a jumble of emotions that he momentarily couldn't speak. The first thing to hit Roxas was another overwhelming burst of flashfire anger at the way Axel insisted on disregarding his own struggles, but the feeling paled in comparison to the despair and sadness at how he felt over dragging the other teen into his shit. Following the first lot of emotions however and wiping away everything else came a huge rush of gratitude and love and for the life of him Roxas couldn't have stopped himself blurting out, 'I'm scared Ax, I'm always so fucking scared. Except when I'm with you. I don't think you understand… No matter what happens from here you've already saved me…'

Roxas was cut off when Axel's lips crashed against his and he flung his arms around the redhead, dragging him close and trying to dispel the lingering fear that made his hands shake. The kiss was desperate and rough, reflecting the fear and anxiety felt by both teens, but when Roxas was forced to draw back and gasp for breath he found he actually felt a great deal more stable. Looking up into Axel's green gaze and noting the tension in the redhead's features Roxas said in a shaky voice, 'Can we sit down Ax? I think… If you want to I mean… I just want to chill in front of the TV and enjoy some time with you.'

Sitting next to Roxas with his arm wrapped around him and the blonde leaning against him did a lot to help Axel shed the residual emotions of his supremely shitty day. Dragging his gaze away from whatever was happening on the screen Axel looked down at Roxas who was engrossed with the show and for a second he was overwhelmed by just how lucky he was that Roxas had decided to trust him and how insanely fortunate he was that the other teen returned his feelings. If he was honest with himself Axel had to admit that he had been smitten with Roxas from the moment that he had first laid eyes on him, and even if the blonde had rejected his offer of friendship he wouldn't have been able to stay away.

Although Axel would have been content to sit on the couch holding Roxas all night, he decided that bed was probably a more comfortable idea than the sofa when the other teen slumped against him and let out a jaw-cracking yawn. Reluctant to disturb Roxas as he appeared almost asleep, Axel dithered until Roxas yawned again and made a sound so cute that Axel's head nearly exploded. With a smile on his face Axel brushed the tip of his finger over the tip of Roxas' nose and it only took a couple of tickles before Roxas wrinkled his nose and looked up sleepily.

In a low voice Axel murmured, 'You seem to have fallen asleep on me sleepy head. What's say I get you to bed and we can try all this again tomorrow, except instead of work I'll have to study and do my training stuff while you do your training stuff.'

Roxas' sleepy and entirely beautiful smile was answer enough for Axel and without further discussion he got to his feet and pulled Roxas up into his arms, shouldering Roxas' negligible weight and all but carrying the other teen to the spare bedroom. By the time they made it to Roxas' room Axel was starting to feel that he would also benefit from a good night's sleep, so when he plonked Roxas down on the bed he leaned heavily on the bedpost and said, 'I'm not usually this late to bed, I think I'm going to crash too.'

Axel was just about to take his leave when Roxas unexpectedly reached out and grabbed his hand, stopping him in his tracks. Roxas' voice sounded as if it was being dragged from him as he whispered, 'Ax I… I don't even want to ask but… I, um, I want… I mean… Oh shit…'

Taken aback for a brief second Axel quickly recovered his poise and as Roxas stuttered almost incoherently he smiled and said softly, 'Take a breath Rox and chill. I'm sure I've said it before, but you can ask me anything and I mean it. So, start again, what did you want to ask?'

Axel watched Roxas carefully, a little worried when the blonde refused to meet his eyes and went quiet for a moment, but then Roxas spoke again and it was all Axel could do to stop his mouth form hanging open. In a small voice that Axel had to strain to hear Roxas muttered reluctantly, 'Can you stay? I mean in here? With the Thirteen Black shit… I don't, I don't want to be alone. I can feel the nightmares that might come… I'm sorry…'

It didn't take a mind reader's skills for Axel to see the shame that burned red on Roxas' cheeks as he blurted out his confession. Placing his hand over Roxas', Axel leaned down so that he could look the other teen in the eye and he said, 'Sure Rox. Just let me go and find my pyjamas and I'll be right back okay? I'll grab the couch pillows and sort myself a bed on the floor.'

If possible Roxas' face went even redder, but before Axel could move the blonde teen shook his head and said in the ghost of a whisper, 'I meant in bed, with me… Please don't laugh…'

It took a second for Roxas' words to make sense in Axel's head and when they did Axel also flushed a deep red, almost matching his hair. Still staring into Roxas' eyes Axel said firmly, 'I'm not laughing Rox, and most of what I said still stands. I'll go find some pjs and then, um… We can work out how you want to do this. Two secs okay Rox?'

Waiting until Roxas nodded jerkily Axel paused to cup the blonde's cheek gently in his palm and then he slid off the bed and hurried out of the room. Uncertainty and confused desire had Axel's heart racing as he walked quickly down the hallway and when he shut his bedroom door behind him he leaned back against the wood and let out a long breath. In an attempt to get a hold of his unruly thoughts Axel clenched his fists, digging his fingernails into his palms, and once he was grounded by the familiar if mild bite of pain he went to find his pyjamas.

It wasn't until Axel was elbow deep in his blankets trying find his pyjama pants that the cruel voice in his mind piped up and sneered, 'Obviously I know what you're thinking and when you fuck things up and send him running down the street I'm going to laugh myself sick. How do you think this will work? He's even trusted you by telling you some of the shit he's survived with that Vexen and now you're thinking about how sleeping next to him might not be just sleeping… You want to touch him but if you do you'll be just as bad as that sick fuck at his school.'

Frozen to the spot Axel stared at the bed below him and couldn't help thinking back desperately, 'I'm not… I wouldn't… He likes me… I'd never do anything he didn't want me to do. I don't need to sleep, I can just get overtired, but if it helps him sleep I can be there for him however he needs me to be.'

With a huge effort Axel clamped down on his treacherous thoughts and muted the horrible voice that whispered poison. Before the voice faded away completely however it got in one final jab, saying viciously, 'You think you're not going to hurt him, but you will, it's all you ever do. If that blondie had even half a brain he would realize that he would be better off back at that school of his with Vexen than here with you.'

While he waited for Axel to return Roxas found that the combination of his warm bed and the homely house actually gave him the mental space to think rather than be swept along by whatever came into his mind and he relished the feeling. Usually Roxas would have had a hard time resisting the impulse to freak out over asking Axel to stay the night with him, but as he snuggled into the duvet he smiled to himself at how Axel treated his request as perfectly reasonable instead of laughing at him. Luxuriating in the novel feeling of not being wracked with anxiety Roxas waited for Axel to reappear.

A few minutes after Axel had made his exit from the cosy bedroom Roxas heard a light knock on the door and his smiled widened at Axel's consideration for his privacy as he called for the other teen to come in. As the door swung open Roxas peeked out from under the blanket and he bit his lip when he saw Axel's black clad figure slip back into the room, his gaze drawn to the lines of the redhead's torso revealed by his close fitting long-sleeved top. With a shy smile on his face Roxas sat up and opened his mouth to say something, but the words died in his throat as he took in the look of conflicted reluctance written across Axel's face.

Before Roxas could get his thoughts together enough to speak Axel cleared his throat and said quietly, 'Rox, are you sure this is okay? I mean, I don't… I don't want to scare you away but you, you know what you do to me. Ah dammit now I'm sounding like a total creepy freak. Look, I, uh, I'm fine sleeping on the floor…'

Even as Axel's words hung in the air Roxas realized what was going through the other teen's mind and with a burst of insight he understood that in different ways Axel was just as screwed by the things in his head as he himself was. Feeling slightly uncomfortable with the switch of roles, but determined to bring Axel back from wherever his thoughts had taken him, Roxas leaned forward and said, 'Ax, hey, where is this coming from? Please look at me…?'

There was a long moment of hesitation but when Axel silently lifted his gaze Roxas stared into his uncertain green eyes and said with a blush, 'You know me well enough by now to know that I don't say shit I don't mean. I know that you want me Ax… But how do you not know that I want you too? I can see it in your eyes that you think I'm going to think you're like h-him but I would never… I'd never think you are anything like him Axel.'

Although Axel stayed silent Roxas could see that the other teen wanted to argue so he pressed on before the redhead could speak and said, 'Do you want to know why I asked you to, uh, sleep with me tonight Ax? It's because I feel safe with you. Somehow you help me stay out of my head and out of my memories and when I'm with you pretty much all I think about is you. Honestly I'm so tired that I'll be surprised if I stay awake until the end of this sentence, but with you here I think I'll be able to sleep properly. Does that sound stupid?'

Because he was watching for it Roxas saw the flicker of emotions play over Axel's face in the blink of an eye, starting with scepticism, moving quickly through a weird combination of stubbornness and hope, and finally ending up on shy acceptance. Emboldened by the reluctant smile that tugged at Axel's lips Roxas smiled back and scooted over in the large bed, holding up the edge of the covers in a mute invitation. A warm glow sparked in Roxas' stomach when a light blush tinged Axel's cheeks red and without further hesitation the redhead slipped under the blankets next to him.