Marie Josephina Callahan

"AuntieAuntieAuntie look! Lookit what I made!"

"…it's very nice, Marie. What…is this glass?"

"Yep! Unca Cal an' PopPop helped me make it!"

"Well, that was very nice of your sucker- er, I mean uncles. Yeah. Totally."

"See you later, Rie!"

Marie tossed a farewell over her shoulder to her coworkers as she left the restaurant, finally done with her shift. Overtime sucked, especially on a holiday weekend.

Well, at least she got to see Uncle Cal again. Even if they'd probably end up ordering pizza when the man inevitably burned their Thanksgiving dinner.

Barely catching the bus in time, the nineteen year old woman pulled out her iPod to stave off boredom till she got home to the scrapyard.

"Decepticons, attack!"

"Blue, look out!"

"Prime, they're flanking us!"

"Where's Wheeljack!?"

Tiredly pushing open the gate, Marie walked into the junkyard. She moved towards the house, carefully not looking to the left. There wasn't anything there anymore but an empty field, but everytime she looked at it she was transported back to that awful night…the night when she lost her best friend.

"Uncle, I'm back! And you'd better be in the kitchen, because if you burn the house again trying to cook, I swear-!"

"I DIDN'T DO IT!"

Marie facepalmed at the frantic, guilty reply. "Primus help me-!" she muttered before stalking towards the kitchen. "WHAT DID YOU DO NOW, YOU FRAGGER!?"

"NOTHING!" A panicking, ruffled-looking older man suddenly appeared in her path, blocking her view of the undoubtedly ruined kitchen. "NOTHING HAPPENED, NOTHING TO SEE HERE-!"

"STOP SHOUTING IN MY FACE, SLAGGER!"

"THEN YOU STOP SHOUTING IN MINE!"

"JAMES MARSHALL CALLAHAN, MOVE YOUR KITCHEN-DESTROYING AFT OUT OF MY WAY OR SO HELP ME-!"

"WHAT, KITCHEN, NO! THERE'S NO NEED TO GO TO THE KITCHEN, WHAT KITCHEN, THERE'S NO KITCHEN HERE!"

Marie paused in her efforts to shove the solidly-built man out of her way, giving him a flat look instead. The older redhead winced. He'd never been a very good liar and he knew it.

"You completely destroyed the kitchen, didn't you."

Callahan offered her a sheepish grin. "…oops?"

"Why the frag aren't the Cons retreating?! We're kicking their afts!"

"Hang on, where'd Skywarp go?"

"Wheeljack, what is that!?"

"Die, Autoscum!"

"No wait don't touch that-!"

"FRAG!"

Marie just stood there, face buried in her hands. The kitchen was charred and blackened. Remnants of a poor, exploding turkey were all over the walls and ceiling. Cranberry sauce splattered all over the floor made it look like a gruesome crime scene. She didn't even want to know what happened to the vegetables. She had a suspicion they were the lumpy pile buried in a mountain of fire retardant covering the kitchen island.

Callahan fidgeted nervously next to her. "…I was going to clean it up before you got home, but…"

"…but?" she inquired slowly, almost certain she'd regret asking.

She was right.

"…the rice may have spontaneously combusted," the man muttered quietly.

Marie groaned. Why her?

"Oh frag oh frag oh frag-!"

"WHAT THE SLAG, WHEELJACK!"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!"

"PRIME! WHAT DID YOUR PET MENACE DO NOW!?"

"Yay, pizza on Thanksgiving," Marie muttered to herself as she finished mopping up the last of the mess. Callahan had gone up front to wait for the pizza guy. "Primus, I miss Auntie's food…"

THUD.

The redhead jumped at the sudden sound from upstairs. She scowled suspiciously, gripping the mop tighter. "What was…?"

CRASH.

She threw her hands up in the air in frustration. "If Uncle Cal forgot to close the window and the stupid squirrels got in again, I swear to Primus-!" she ranted as she grabbed a broom from the hall closet and stalked towards the stairs. Taking them three at a time, the young woman jogged down the hall to…her Auntie's old room? Why would Uncle Cal have gone in there? She was the only one who went in there, and that was only to dust Auntie Fisa's massive collection of Transformers figurines…

Flattening herself against the wall next to the door covered in cybertronian glyphs, Marie carefully reached out and slowly pushed the door open. A rush of panicking voices and the sounds of battle greeted her as the soundproofing was broken. She paused in confusion before slowly peering around the door…

…and then promptly forgot about hiding herself as she gaped in shock.

Auntie's Transformers collection…was alive.

What the bloody fucking hell!?

Little jets were zooming around the room, attempting to dislodge the bright red and yellow bots attached to their backs. Tiny cars were skidding across the floor, interspersed with bots shooting at each other from whatever cover they had managed to find. And up on the shelf…

"NO!" Marie yelled, diving into and across the room to catch a picture that a grappling pair of bots knocked off the shelf over the window. She barely managed to catch the embossed glass before had an intimate meeting with the floor. The redhead sighed in relief, sitting up and cradling the picture gently. And then she realized the room was totally silent.

She looked up…and her gray eyes landed on the still forms of bots all staring at her in shock.

A/N: Cliffhanger! Muahaha!

And the first chapter of Marie's story is up. I'm probably going to focus mostly on this instead of Primus' Handyman for a while. Mostly because the stupid plot Z-bunny WON'T SHUT UP.