Would you believe that this is my first ever non-crossover?

Yeah. Well, I had this idea and thought it might be a good place to start. Please don't hate on it. Constructive criticism is fantastic, but there is a difference between "Perhaps to make it better you could try this" and "This sucks, there's so much wrong with it, and you are a fail writer". Use common sense, people.

Ok, I think I should probably talk about the language in this story. So in our lovely show, people curse. I mean, they're adults in rather stressful situations, come on. And Dean...well, Dean curses a lot. The 'b' word is kind of his catch phrase.

Problem is, I don't feel comfortable using these words, even in story format. I will try to keep this as in character as possible, but cursing will be at a bare minimum, if it's in here at all. Just so you know.

This story is set somewhere in season 5. I do not believe there will be spoilers past that, but something might slip. I am currently at the start of season 8 with my watching, so PLEASE don't spoil anything for me.

Oh, and the spell I used in this is a completely arbitrary thing I spat out using Google translate.

Without further ado, I present to you my first ever Supernatural fanfic.

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I think that's pretty self-evident.

Crowley wasn't pleased.

His day had been going so nicely—killed a virgin, exorcised a pro-Lucifer demon, made some pretty good deals, condemned a few souls to eternal torture in the pit—and now, as icing on the cake, he'd liberated a spell book from an old witch. She wasn't using it for anything useful anyway, so he'd just gone ahead and taken it off her hands for her.

As well as her soul. He still thought that was a nice touch.

But now, just as he was getting ready to bury himself in his beautiful new book, who had shown up? Who'd found him in his warehouse and spoiled his oh-so-perfect day?

The Winchesters, of course.

Crowley really hated the Winchesters.

"Hello, boys," he said with a smile, calmly ignoring the guns pointed at his face.

Sam the Moose stepped forward with a snarl. "Did you know?" he growled, tightening his grip on his weapon. Crowley raised an eyebrow.

"Pardon?"

To his left, Dean snorted cynically. "Like you don't know exactly what we're talking about."

Crowley rolled his eyes. "Sorry, boys, I haven't the faintest. And you can put those guns away; you know they won't do much but irritate me." He waved his hand and the metal in their weapons heated up, forcing the Winchesters to unclasp their hands. Two satisfying clanks assured Crowley that the weapons were on the floor.

"The Colt," spat Dean. "It didn't work."

Both Crowley's eyebrows flew up at that, and he turned slowly. "Really?" he asked. Shame. Would've been such a nice fix to his Satan problem. Hm. Well, then.

"So I assume that means that Lucifer still walks?" he said mockingly. "Wonderful. I suppose that's too bad for you, then. Guess you'll just have to say 'yes' to your respective angels."

Dean lunged forward, brandishing that damn demon-killing knife. "We lost two of our friends, you jerk!" he growled, thrusting the blade under Crowley's chin. "Did you know it wouldn't work?"

"What wouldn't work?"

"The damn Colt!" yelled Dean. Behind him, Crowley could see Sam's hands curling into fists as he bent to reclaim his gun.

"Hm. No, sorry boys," said Crowley. "I honestly thought it would work. Remember, I want Lucifer gone as much as you do. So suck it up and do what you've got to do, morons!" The last bit came out as an angered shout, and Dean stepped back a bit in surprise.

That gave Crowley just the window he needed. He lunged for his spell book and opened it at random. His eyes fell upon the first spell on the page and a small smile spread across his face.

"Et dimittam te, ut cruor temporis cursu ventis iam audet! Minores pedum vestigia retro redeant vestra et filii vestri non loco aut cadendum esse!"

The Winchesters stared at him with undisguised horror as the room began to fill with a blindingly white light. "What did you do?!" shouted Sam.

Crowley flashed a grin. "Have fun with this one, boys!"

And then he was gone.