A/N: Hey everyone, sorry I accidentally posted the unedited version of this on here, I hadn't even run spell check on it. So this should make a bit more sense. If you guys are interested in more one shots like this or maybe a full length story let me know in the reviews. Thank you for taking the time to read, I hope that you enjoy it!
They said that I was the weak link. They said that I would be the first to break. What they didn't know is that I was already broken long before they got to me. The A Team would never be as good at breaking a person as Alison DiLaurentis. If there was any one thing that Alison was good at it was entirely breaking someone. Everyone who had ever known her had experienced it one way or another. Maybe I am the weakest, because fuck if she didn't hurt me more than anyone else. She ruined me.
"Em, where are you?" Hanna's text interrupts my thought.
"Didn't realize that I had to check in, mom" I reply, barely looking at my phone.
"Seriously I'm just worried we are all worried. We haven't seen you for days and your mom said you hadn't been home. Does A have something on you? We want to help you but we can't unless you talk to us!" she sends back. I stare at it for a moment and then finish the rest of my four-shooter of Tanqueray.
"Seriously? Don't worry about me. I don't need anyone's help." I hit send and shove my phone into my pocket. It's about the start of a new shift and I know exactly who I want to be talking to.
Surprisingly, I haven't been to a place like this before. I've been as Spencer calls it "spiraling" for a year now and it has taken me to some pretty dark corners, but never to Wild Girlz or any place even close. But after discovering who works the late shift I guess you could say my interest was piqued. I stare straight ahead and flash my fake ID to the bouncer. He looks at it and looks at me several times. I remember the first time that happened back when Alison got me my first fake. I began sweating and my mouth went dry. She had scolded me so cruelly for nearly blowing our cover. Today I am cool as can be. Of course my fake is a whole lot better than back then, and I have a whole lot less to lose. I walk past him without a second glance and go straight to the bar.
"Tom Collins please, straight." I say to the middle aged man behind the bar.
"That's a pretty old fashioned drink for such a young lady. Sure you don't want a vodka and cranberry or a daiquiri or something?" He smiles a dirty smile and predictably follows it with a wink.
"I'd like my order please." I say unmoved.
He puts his hands up as if to surrender and pours my Tanqueray, syrup, and ice into a shaker and mixes it aggressively. I have grown quite accustomed to the sloshing and clinking of a drink in a tumbler. It almost feels like home to me. He pours me a tall drink and tops it off with a couple squeezes of lemon. He may be a skeeze but he knows how to make my drink pretty goddamn well if I do say so myself.
"That'll be $8.00. Or you could just work for me and the drinks are on the house." His smile goes from dirty to downright repulsive.
"Not for all the gin in the world." I scowl back and set my money on the bar and find a discreet corner in the back.
Men are disgusting and predictable. They are easy. Alison taught me that. I never really noticed how true it was until after she was gone. You know there was a time that actually believed that she was dead. Maybe that was just easier at that point. Easier than the constant worrying, wondering where she was, if she'd ever come back. It was almost easier to just have a conclusion even if it was a horrible one. But, then I started getting into some darker circles and started hearing about this mysterious blonde whose name kept changing. Someone says that she had been working here and so I need to see it for myself. A cute brunette wearing a sequined bra top and a matching thong walks by me and I stop her.
"Is Lolita working tonight?"
"Who's asking? She's real funny about us giving out her information unless it's for a regular and I don't think I've seen you around before" She is smiling but I cringe at the thought of Alison having regulars.
"You know I guess I'll just find out by the end of the night if I'm wasting my time." I raise my eyebrows at her in frustration as I swallow the last bit of my drink.
"Hey they're her rules not mine. But why don't you try your luck with the bar man, maybe you could get a private show. Her shows are double the normal price though, but I'm sure she'll make it worth it to ya." She says with a wink walking away.
Ali always was obsessed with secrets. She always told me that they were like treasures, and for her they were collectibles. She could have had a whole section just for my secrets. Christ, I gave them to her so eagerly, like they were a form of commerce and I was buying her love. I never could have given enough. For all the stolen glances and secret kisses I may have gotten I still ended up alone. And I'm going to find out why, tonight. One private dance for $100, I wonder what that translates into in secrets.
"Who do I speak to about getting a private dance?"
"You are a dirty little girl. You can leave $50 with me and I'll send a girl back shortly." The owner/bar tender says barely looking up.
"I don't want just any girl. I want Lolita." I say sternly. He looks up from his clipboard.
"Well honey we're talking a bit more than fifty bucks then."
"Yeah, we're talking $500 and I get her for the night."
"Are you serious?" He asks confused. I lay five one hundred dollar bills on the bar staring into him.
"Dead." I reply. He holds each bill up to the light.
"Right this way." He says leading me to a small room
It's dim in here, lit by some electric blue and pink lights. You know, I used to fantasize about Alison returning all the time and never did it involve an upscale strip club or neon lights of any kind. I guess I'll take what I can get though. I take a seat on a cushioned chair in the center of the room. There is a bottle of grey goose and a bottle of Johnnie Walker gold label on an end table next to me and two glasses. That guy may be sleazy as hell but he sure does run a clean establishment.
My phone startles me by going off in my pocket. I look and see that Paige is calling me and send it to voicemail. I then shut my phone off completely. I don't need anyone interrupting me tonight, least of all her. The music starts before I actually see her. But then all at once there she is, standing across the room staring at me. Her skin looks blue in the light and her hair is no longer blonde but pastel pink.
"Ali..." I breathe it out not realizing that I had been holding it in.
"Miss me?" She asks before seductively walking across the room.
I want to run to her. I want to wrap her in my arms and never let her go again. I want to drag her out of here and drive until I run out of gas. I want to kiss her deeply and lift her off the ground. Instead I sit silent in my chair. With intentional steps and choreographed swaying hips she is right in front of me now. She gets on her knees and puts a hand on either side of my lap seemingly boxing me in. She stares up at me with those denim eyes. They haven't changed a bit.
I left my girl back home, I don't love her no more
And she'll never fuckin' know that
These fuckin' eyes that I'm staring at
Christ, I've forgotten how looking at her makes me feel. On fire. Yes, I'm on fire. I need to see her, all of her. I stand up and walk in a slow circle around her. My god the years have only made her sexier. Her hips have filled out giving her a perfect full ass. Her skin looks just as smooth and warm as I remember.
"Don't you want a dance, Em?" She says when I am back to facing her.
"Do you really think that I spent $500 just to see you dance? I want answers Alison. You owe me answers."
Let me see that ass
Look at all this cash
And I've emptied out my cards too
Now I'm fucking leaning on that
"I know what you want baby." Her voice is suddenly pure lust and I shudder.
She touches my arm and then lets her fingers walk from one shoulder to the other as she circles me like a shark in the water.
"Ali, stop. It makes me sick that you work here. Tell me where you've been, how you ended up here." I'm a terrible liar and cannot hide what her black bra and shorts covered by a see through mesh tank top are doing to my body.
"Little innocent Emily to straight to have a little fun?" She says shaking a little baggy of cocaine in front of my face.
"You'll probably call the cops out of moral obligation huh?" She says it with a challenge as she dips her finger nail in the bag and sucks the powder up her nose. I chuckle and snatch the bag from her.
"You've been gone a long time." I say before inhaling a decent line off of a key.
Her eyes are wide as I tuck the little bag into the front of her black shorts.
"Now, answers Ali. I deserve them." I say. At the request she is suddenly empowered again. She aggressively pushes me back into my seat.
"You know you want to see more." She says straddling my knees.
I wish I could say that I didn't love it. I wish I could say that I didn't feel myself getting wet as her body rolled in front of my face. But then I'd be lying. As she dances in front of me she begins to trace lines along my bare arms and suddenly jumps when she gets to my wrist and hits my darkest secret yet. Where there once was untouched skin there was an open red valley, and when its flood refused to take me it slowly became a marred mountain range of mourning. She freezes and looks at me with eyes wet and mouth open.
"Like I said. You were gone a long time." I say plainly. I need, for just one moment, for her to hurt the way I did. For her to see what she did to me.
Bring your love baby I could bring my shame
Bring the drugs baby I could bring my pain
I got my heart right here
I got my scars right here
She wraps her hand tightly around my wrist and leans into my ear.
"Don't you fucking dare do that again. Do hear me?" She whispers in that voice somewhere caring and anger. This used to be my favorite face of Alison.
And suddenly she's back to using her body and my goddamn persisting love to evade my questions. She lifts herself over me and lets her stomach and breasts rub their way lightly across my face and I can't fight any longer. I moan quietly and take hold of her sides just above her hips. I nuzzle into her stomach and inhale deeply. My god I missed her, I missed her smell so much. She is completely on my lap now, straddling me and her arms casually around my neck.
Her face is just inches away from mine, her pastel curls framing both our faces. She presses her forehead against mine. She shuts her eyes and I see her begin to melt into me, I see her guard coming down. And then I see her push back. I groan in frustration, I just want to love her, to have her.
"Come on Ali what's the matter? Lose your nerve?" I challenge and slide the bottle of scotch over to her.
"You shouldn't even be here." She says staring down at me, made taller by the six inch heel of her boots.
Bring the cups baby I could bring the drink
Bring your body baby I could bring you fame
And that's my motherfucking words too
Just let me motherfucking love you
"Well I am. And so are you. Now please if you won't give me answers just give me something, I need something." I grab her hand.
Before I can prepare myself she's back on my lap and her mouth is on mine. I crumble into her and wrap my arms around her tighter than I have ever done before. As our mouths move naturally in sync I feel my pounding heart injecting my love into this kiss. I kiss her in such a way that she will never get me off of her lips. I want her to try to moan another lovers name only to hear "Emily..." Slip off her tongue and into the night. I want her to come undone every time she smells lavender or tastes citrus. I want her to wake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat begging for my touch. I want to start a fire in her that no one else can extinguish.
Listen ma I'll give you all I got
Get me off of this
I need confidence in myself
Listen ma I'll give you all of me
Give me all of it
I need all of it to myself
She moans my name as we finally part for air. I run my thumb over her beautiful pink lips and she nips at my touch. Christ her tongue flicks my fingertip and my hips buck suddenly. She gasps at the pressure against her and I love watching the flush come across her cheeks. I let my hand tangle into a fistful of her hair and put my lips to her ear.
"I know you don't, but I want you to tell me you love me. I want to hear it." It comes out in a desperate moan.
"Why? Why do I need to say that" she asks
"It turns me on." I say suddenly looking straight at her. She slows her movements for a moment just looking at me.
"I love you, Emily." Her voice drops in volume and tone.
So tell me you love me
Only for tonight
Only for the night
Even though you don't love me
Just tell me you love me
I'll give you what I need
I'll give you all of me
Even though you don't love me
I grab desperately at her top wanting to remove anything separating us and she stands slowly. She pulls the black mesh top over her head and casts it aside.
"You kind of owe me a dance you know." I smile lustfully at her.
Since she didn't take my offering of the scotch earlier I slide the vodka towards her. She grabs the bottle and takes a long drag from it. Then she puts it to my lips and I let her pour her fill into my mouth. Vodka has never been my favorite but it makes me feel close to her.
"As you wish." Her face turns filthy as she steps back from me.
I always knew that Ali was sexual, and I always knew she was a talented dancer, but nothing could have prepared me for the moving sex in front of me. Her hips curl around the beat of the song, her body bending in ways that I never conceived as possible. She suddenly arches her back and pulls at the clasp of her top letting it fall to the ground and letting her perfectly shaped breasts fall out. My god I want to taste those perfect pink nipples. She turns around and spreads her legs far apart. She brings her body all the way to the ground bending in front of me. How the hell did her ass get so damn sexy? On her way back up she unzips the side of her shorts and spins back around stepping out of them as she walks towards me. She is left in her boots and a black thong and it is nearly more than I can take. I have to bite my fist to keep from moaning.
"Do you like it?" She asks stretching the lacy material towards me and letting it snap back against her. I can only helplessly nod.
"I know you do." She says letting her index finger trace my jaw.
She's right back to rolling her body towards me. She stomps a heel in the arm rest beside me and leans her thong covered body dangerously close to my face. I reach out and grab her thighs.
"You know the last person who touched me while I was dancing got a black eye." She says then leans down to my ear.
"You're lucky I think you're fucking hot." She whispers before grabbing my hand and thrusting my fingers inside of her soaking wet pussy.
I gasp in complete shock and pleasure. She has one foot still bracing herself on the floor and the other leg wrapped completely around me. I hold my fingers firm in place curving them ever slightly so I can hit that spot that makes her scream. She is going fast and hard and practically drenching my hand. I can barely breathe between placing wet kisses across her chest.
"Oh my god Alison, fuck." I begin to call out.
"Yes! Fuck yes, Emily you feel so fucking good inside me. Goddamnit, fuck me Emily!" The tone in her voice has my clit hard and I know it will haunt my fantasies when my hands search my own body in the night.
I extend my thumb so that it can rub her clit on every exit and every entry and then she really begins to yell. If I had thought she was going hard before I had no idea. I can barely hold onto her as she bounces and rocks herself on me. I see her tits start to bounce in rhythm and take a nipple into my mouth. As I let my tongue massage it I feel her begin to tighten around my fingers.
"Christ, I'm cumming! Emily! You're a fucking god!" She practically screams as she shakes and writhes with her orgasm.
Let me see you dance
I love to watch you dance
Take you down another level
Get you dancing with the devil
Take a shot of this
But I'm warning you
I'm on that shit that you can't smell baby
So put down your perfume
She collapses all of her weight on me and lets me just hold her, completely breathless. This is all I've ever wanted. My god I've wanted her.
"Let's run away. Please Ali. Don't make me leave you here." I say as I come crashing down from the high I'd just experienced.
"You know I can't do that." She doesn't even sit up.
"Please just tell me why you're here. Who are you hiding from?" I beg squeezing her tightly against me.
"Me. I'm hiding from me." She whispers before standing up and putting her clothes back on.
"You know I love you, don't you?" I ask
"Of course. And I think that you know how I feel about you. But all that I had to offer you was tonight." She cups my face softly and lovingly, kisses my mouth, and walks away.
I don't know why but I just let her walk away. I left the tears on her cheeks and everything.
So tell me you love me
Only for tonight
Only for one night
Even though you don't love me
Just tell me you love me
I'll give you what I need
I'll give you all of me
Even though you don't love me