Shiki: Unrequited

Synopsys & Author's Note: This may just be my saddest TohruNo fic ever, since it follows the cannon. It's been floating around in my head for a while, but I've had bigger, longer stories to work on. So, I'm going to FINALLY get this one down, so I can get it out of my head and have a chance to focus more on the others. This was supposed to just be a one shot, short and simple, but it turned into something more along the lines of what I did for Karneval in Innocence Lost, so I'm going to be forced to break it down into chapters anyway. I'm just giving you one long Author's Note Now, so I don't have to give it in bits and pieces throughout the story. I don't normally do stories as told by the character's perspective, so I'll ask forgiveness on that point now. The whole thing is done from Natsuno's point of view, starting from the day he met Tohru to the day of his death. Actually, while writing it, it almost felt more like I was reading his diary than listening to him describe it himself. Then again, that could just be me? I will admit though, I think Natsuno uses "Damn" a bit more in this than he does in the canon. Also, for as much of the canon as I try to follow, I've changed the time line a bit. This was originally supposed to be an internal monologue from Natsuno's point of view on how he was fine with simply being friends with Tohru, but it's turned into something much longer winded. And I sneak in a reference to a little paranormal romance movie from two years back, that reminds me a lot of this series. I've made challenges before to see if people can guess the TV shows I'm referencing. I'm putting that challenge here, too. Also, Annie, I'm sorry for using a snippet of our latest conversation in this story as Natsuno and Tohru-Chan talking. I didn't use it out of disrespect, but I thought the dialogue actually fit with the story.

Natsuno's thoughts are in italics (as it's from his point of view, we have no way of knowing what anyone else is thinking, just how he interpenetrates the looks on their faces)

"Whispers are in bold italics with quotation marks."

Narrative is normal text

"Speech is normal text with quotation marks."

The one thing that happens as flashback is in bold and the only thing written completely in past tense. Natsuno's imagining Tohru asking Ritsu on a date is also in bold and written in future tense.

As always, any and all comments and constructive criticisms are welcomed. Think I'm being too harsh on Megumi? Think the characters are perfectly IC or to OOC? Think it feels more like I'm giving my own commentary than suggesting what Natsuno should be feeling and should stop using this as excuse to point out plot holes? (Totally not my intention with this story, but I can see where you would think it.) Think this is exactly how Natsuno would be feeling? Think the scenes I copied and pasted then edited from "Innocent Beginnings" out of temporary laziness is too obvious and way too samey? Think I should have pulled more from the Anime than the Manga? Think I should stop trying to recreate these scenes without giving them a proper AU like I did Karneval? Think I'm over using the arbitrary out-of-the-blue teddy bear gimmick? Let me know!

Damn it all! What's with these stupid roads? I can't believe I've got a flat tire already? This was a new bike, we bought it just before the move. "TSK! Figures. I knew nothing good would come of moving out here." Guess I'll just have to push it. I sigh as I climb off my bike and began to push it down the road. It's so annoying! What was Dad thinking coming out here in the first place? "I can't wait to get back to the city."

I push my bike down the road. As I quietly scan the area I'm walking through, I take in the scenery. I gotta' admit, the view and fresh air are rather pleasant. It's enough to forget where I'm going, or that I'm pushing a bike with a flat tire. Damn. The tire... Great, now I'm depressed again. If I'm lucky, I'll make it home without running into any of the 'neighbors.' Especially that pink haired girl... Jeez, is there anyone in this town who isn't annoying and nosy?

"Hey there, flat tire?" a voice calls out. I cringe. So much for avoiding the neighbors. "I can help you fix it." the voice offers.

I stop and look up. It's Mutou Tohru-Senpai. I've seen the guy around, but he's older than I am, so we don't have any classes together, or anything. Why is he even bothering to notice me? "No thanks. I'm fine." I start to walk away. The more I can avoid people, the better.

Mutou-Senpai walks over and puts a hand on the bike, stopping me from moving. Seriously, dude, what the hell? "It'll only take a minute," he assures me. He sees the look on my face and frowns. "Come on, don't be like that. It's called being neighborly."

I sigh as I look up at him. Damn it all! I just made eye contact with him. Huh? They're honey brown, like his hair, and so trusting and full of life and innocence. Those are the kind of eyes a person just can't say 'no' to. "Fine, I'll let you fix it, if it means that much to you. But, promise me you won't ask any stupid, annoying questions? I get enough of that from my classmates. I'm not looking to make friends."

"Eh? Why not?" Muto-Senpai asks, almost frowning. "Where's the fun in life without making new friends?"

Idiot. "I intend to leave and move back to the city as soon as I get the chance," I announce.

"That's too bad," Mutou-Senpai says as he fills a bucket full of water, "A place like this isn't so bad once you get use to it." He sticks the bike tire inside the bucket and starts threading it through, looking for the puncture. "You might want to get your parents to get you a repair kit from the store. These roads can be pretty dangerous for bikes sometimes."

"Yeah, ok," I reply.

"So, I've seen you around on campus, but haven't had the chance to talk with you, yet. This is the kind of place where everybody knows everybody," he exposited. Which is what makes it so damned annoying. No body can make a single move without feeling they're being spied on and scrutinized. "Your parents run the new atelier, right?"

I sigh. Fair enough question. "Yeah, Dad's a carpenter." Keep the answers short, Natsuno!

"So, my name's Mutou Tohru, by the way," he adds, stupidly, as if he thought I didn't already know who he was. His honey blonde hair and happy-go-lucky demeanor make him stick out like a sore thumb. EVERYBODY at school knows who this guy is. In fact, Shimizu may be the only person I've seen show any disdain towards him. "What's your name?"

"Yuuki, or Koide, either works, either's fine," I answer.

"Oh, right, I'd heard about that," he says, "Your parents aren't married, are they?"

I shrug. Damn it. News travels fast in a little place like this. Not like it matters! They don't approve of religion, or 'social norms'. They didn't marry, because they don't trust the system. Rather inconsistent of them to decide to send me to public school, rather than home school me, when you think about it. "Yeah, something like that," I scoff in reply.

"Good for them," Mutou-Senpai replies.

Wait... WHAT!? "Huh?" I ask out loud, turning to look at him.

He smiles at me and I quickly try to look away. Damn!? What's with the butterflies in my stomach all of a sudden? "It's not easy," he says, "To do something out of the ordinary, when you know others are going to judge you for it. Ah! Here's your leak!" He pulls the tire out of the water, dries off the area and begins to patch it. "But, even so, you're still a happy family together, right?" he concludes.

Wow. He actually gets it? I give a nod. "Right," I answer.

Mutou-Senpai smiles and there go those butterflies in my stomach again. Seriously, what the hell? "So then, Yuuki or Koide that's just your last name, right?" he asks. "That can get a little confusing. What's your first name? I can't exactly come to school calling you 'Flat Tire Kohai' tomorrow, you know," he teases as he finishes putting the tire on the bike.

Idiot! I snatch my bike away from him. "Forget it! Just call me Yuuki like everyone else. I told you I'm not interested in friends."

He heaves a sigh that almost makes me turn back to him. "Fine, Yuuki it is," he agrees, sounding utterly defeated. "I suppose it's pointless to invite you back to visit sometime, then?"

"Why would I?" Wow, that sounded harsher than I'd intended. ... I heave a quiet sigh. "Thanks for helping me, by the way."

I didn't have to look at him to know he was smiling again, I could hear it in his voice. "You're welcome," he replies happily.

I hop on my bike and head home. It's much faster this way, compared to walking, especially compared to walking it with a flat. I blink as Mutou-Senpai's smile flashes back in my mind. Closing my eyes, I shake my head. What is it about that guy? Other than Mom and Dad, I don't think I've ever spoken to anyone as much as I just did with him, even with what few friends I had back in the city.

It's almost dark when I get home. I put my bike away and hurry inside. I know that for Dad, part of the appeal to this place was that no one locks their doors, but it I'm not as at ease about that idea as he and Mom are. Especially, when SHE'S lurking out there in the bushes. She doesn't have to know the door's not locked, so long as she thinks it it, that's what matters.

I go to my room and open the shutter. I take a cautious look outside, quietly watching the tree line. No movement, other than leaves rustling in the breeze. Good, she's not here yet. Maybe she'll catch a cold and won't come at all, tonight.

I wish she'd take the hint already. I've avoided her as much as possible. I don't actively seek her out at school. Hell, I don't even talk to her! She just follows me around. I keep telling everyone I'm not interested in making friends. Truth is, I'm not even interested in girls! If she were just looking to be friends, I might not be so annoyed with her, but the fact that she...

I start to take off my shirt to get ready for bed, but pause. Ever get the feeling you're being watched? Yeah, that's been the story of my life every night since my third day of school. I turn and look out the window. There it is, movement in the bushes, inconstant with all the rest. Shimizu Megumi-San is out there, hiding in the tree line. Is she a slave to her teenaged hormones or something? Honestly, she's always out there hoping for a peek of man-flesh.

I'd report her, but I'm new in town. No one would believe me. They'd probably think I was some sort of perverted peeping tom who lied about her because she caught me and refused my advances. Jeez, I've TRIED to be nice about this, but she's relentless. I close the shutter and lock my bedroom door as I get changed for bed. I wish we'd never moved into this back woods town.

As I settle in bed and close my eyes, Mutou-Senpai's face flashes back into my mind. "WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING!?" I scold myself out loud. Damn. This shouldn't be happening.

Ok, I'll admit it, he's handsome... HELL, he's gorgeous, but there's no way... For starters, he's three years older than I am and will probably graduate and go to university this year, if not the next. Unless he's been held back a year, then maybe the year after next? I'm really not sure what year he's in, just that he's above me. Second, there's those rumors about him and one of the nurses from the clinic where his father works. Third, in a town like this, if he were interested in anything other than girls, he'd be the talk of the town, and not for the reasons he already is.

I lie back down on the bed, my arms crossed behind my head, and stare up at my ceiling. Nothing wrong with a little crush, right? I mean, it's not like I'm going to go HER standards. I turn my attention toward the shut and locked shutters over my windows. I shiver as the image of my pink haired classmate pops in my head. I think I'm starting to hate the color pink. You'll never catch me dead in it, that's for damned sure.

I roll over, facing toward the wall and close my eyes, taking in a deep breath. Once more, Mutou-Senpai's smile comes to mind. I've never felt quite so comfortable with someone like I did, simply standing next to him. Well... Minus the damned butterflies, that is. I smile and grip my pillow. "I'll have to find some kind of excuse to go see him again."

He's a bloody idiot! All he did was help me with my tire, and now he waves and speaks to me every time he passes me in the hall. I'm trying to remain indifferent, but I think even Shimizu's started to notice the smile I'm trying to hide whenever I see him. It's been two weeks, now. I finally gave him a verbal reply. It was just a simple 'Yo', but that was enough to light him up like a damned Christmas tree.

Shimizu stalks me at every chance, if it weren't for the fact that she'd get in trouble, she'd probably even follow me into the men's room when I duck in there to get away from her. When I replied to Mutou-Senpai, I caught her frowning at both of us out of the corner of my eye. Good, maybe she'll finally take the hint and stop ignoring that cute little pig-tailed girl who's always tagging along behind her.

I doubt it, though. I've paid enough attention to realize what Shimizu's really all about. She's not as interested in me as she claims, or at least I don't think she is. She's self-centered, pretentious, and selfish. She turns her nose up at everyone in town. I mean, I don't care for them, but at least I'm not outright making it obvious that I hate them. She's cruel towards her friend with the pigtails. She's snobby towards the townsfolk. She wears inappropriately flamboyantly pink attire durring her free time away from school. If there were somewhere special to go and dress up for, it would make sense, but she's CLEARLY doing it for attention. Isn't she an only child? Why's she got to worry about attention? She claims she's going to grow up to be the next big model. In this little town? Whatever, chick, keep dreaming.

I'm turning heads everywhere I go at school, though. The girls are infatuated because I'm someone, something new, and because they know I'm from the city. At least most of the other girls aren't annoying about it. They ask me questions about what it's like, if it's any different, do I like being here. I give them short replies, and they move on. I just discovered Mutou-Senpai's younger brother was one my classmates, Tamotsu-Kun. Apparently his twin sister Aoi-San is in the class across the hall from us. Maybe Mutou-Senpai's hyperactivity is because he's suffering a combination of 'older-sibling' and 'middle-child' syndrome? The twins are much more laid back, though just as friendly.

Then there's this weird guy. Murasako Masao-Kun. He's the stereotypical creepy kid, tall, lanky, scraggly long black hair, pale as moonlight, freaky eyes. It's obvious his grades aren't at the top of our class, either. I've treated him no different from anyone else, but he can't stand me. He's even more starved for attention than Shimizu. Tamotsu-Kun seems to be his best friend, but he's close with the other two Mutou kids, too. I think he's got a crush on Mutou-Senpai, too, actually. Maybe he's bi, because he's obviously looking for affection from Aoi-San, as well. But his biggest hang up is clearly Shimizu. He's just as bad about trying to get her attention as she is trying to get mine. I think that's why he hates me, the two people he wants the most attention from are both looking at me. Whatever, at least unlike the rest of these people around here, he's smart enough to realize I'm NOT the best thing since sliced bread. Jeez, it's been nearly two months. If I'd moved to a different school in the city, I'd already be old news by now.

Three weeks since my first flat, and now I've got another one. Same road, too, must be a sharp rock in the dirt path somewhere that I just can't see. Mutou-Senpai's house isn't too far away, now. "Well, he warned me these roads were dangerous for bikes. Maybe I should just switch to walking and running instead." Either way, it still exercises my injured knee. "I wonder if Mutou-Senpai's home today?" I shake my head as I realize I said that. I wouldn't want to impose. I stop and look at my bike. If I continue to walk home with it in this condition, it'll be even darker when I get home, than it was last time this happened. I smile to myself. Well, I did say I needed to come up with an excuse to see him again.

He's not outside watering the yard like last time. Great, now I'm nervous. I stand in front of the Mutou household for a moment, staring at the door, wondering if I should even approach it. I'd hate to be rude, an unexpected guest interrupting dinner or something. But, then... I look at my bike again and sigh. Leaving it in this state is only going to slow me down. "FINE!"

I approach the house and hesitate for a moment, before knocking. Maybe they're all out and I'm not really interrupting anything. I pat my pockets. Damn. Nothing to write on or with. So, if they're not home, I can't just leave the darn thing with a note apologizing for doing so and explaining I'd have my dad bring me back to pick it up later. Guess I'll just go home.

I turn to start and leave, but just as I do, I hear the door swing open. I look up, a bit surprised. I'm not use to people actually answering the door without looking through a peep hole or at least asking who's on the other side. I was expecting Mutou-Kun, or Mutou-San, someone whom I'd have to explain why I'm even here to, but no. It's Mutou-Senpai himself.

Mutou-Senapi smiles the moment he sees me. Maybe it's the angle of the sun hitting those messy blonde locks of his, but I could have sworn he was sparkling for a moment. I feel my heart tighten at that moment. This isn't a good idea. I should leave.

"Another flat? What you don't know how to use a repair kit?" he teases.

I look away. "Shut up. It's just I haven't had the chance to buy one yet. But... If it wouldn't be too much trouble. I... I mean." I reach into my pockets again. Yep, nothing to write with, but definitely a few yen pieces. "If you don't mind helping me fix it again, I can pay you for the trouble this time."

Mutou-Senpai smiles and shakes his head. "Perish the thought!" he says, catching hold of my bike. "It's no problem at all. Come on, follow me." I give a quiet nod and follow him around to the side of the house. He pulls out the repair kit, the same bucket from before, and the water hose. Pouring a bit of soap into the bucket, he begins to add water and then begins threading the tire through. I lean against the wall behind me and watch. This is kind of nice. I've got an excuse to be around him, and he's being quiet, rather than asking all the same annoying questions I get from everyone else. He finds the leak quicker this time. "You know, it's getting late, how'd you like to stay for dinner?"

"I wouldn't like to impose."

"No, you wouldn't be," he assures me as he begins to patch up the tire. "You wanted to pay me back for helping you out right? Then just stay for dinner, and hang out for a bit," he invites again. "There we go, all fixed. By the way, I did some digging around." He chuckles. "Your name? I asked your parents." He smiles and points his finger at me, sort of snapping his fingers, and winking. The way he says it, "Natsuno!" it sounds so cool and just rolls of his tongue. No one had ever made my name sound that way before. Mutou-Senpai smiles at me. "Are you sure you don't wanna' come in for dinner?"

Please tell me I'm not blushing? Those eyes really are hard to say 'no' to. "Alright," I accept, following him inside. "But I'll have to call my parents and let them know."

"Sure, no problem," Mutou-Senpai nods. He turns and calls into the kitchen. "Mom, hope you don't mind, we're having company for dinner."

I get ready to turn and leave, thinking his mother would have an objection to cooking for an extra person so suddenly. "How many?" Mutou-San asked.

"Just one," Mutou-Senpai answered holding up a finger as he stood in the doorway to the kitchen. "He's the new kid in Tamo-Chan's class."

"The one who's parents run the atelier?" Mutou-San asked.

Ok, that's it, I'm leaving. I turn to go, only to feel his hand catch hold of my wrist. I look up to see he's still looking at his mother. He knew I was trying to leave, and never even looked back at me.

"Yeah," Mutou-Senpai says, giving a gentle tug, pulling me into the doorway next to him. "His bike had a flat tire, and the atelier is pretty far out there. It might be late before he makes it home."

Mutou-San smiles at me. "Very well. Yuuki-Kun, am I right?" she asks.

I smile and nod. "Y-Yes ma'am." I bow to her. "Sorry to intrude."

She giggles. "Not at all, dear. Any friend of Tohru's is always welcome here. Would you like to call your parents to let them know you're alright?"

"If that wouldn't be too much trouble?" I answer with a nod. Mutou-San nods, granting her permission. These people are so welcoming and trusting. It's amazing.

"The phone's over here," Mutou-Senpai says, pulling me to a wall mounted phone.

I dial my number and tell my mother why I won't be home in time for supper. Even with her unconventional methods, she still feels compelled to ask me to let her speak with Mutou-San. I guess she wants to make sure I'm really doing what I say I'm doing, and haven't gotten in with the wrong crowd or something.

There's no getting out of this, now. Mutou-San is telling Mother how polite I'm being and how she'd hate to have me get home so late at night on an empty stomach. Judging by her reaction, I think Mom just invited her to come over and visit us sometime. Yep, I'm stuck here.

The whole family sits down together to eat. None of them question my being here, but they all acknowledge my presence. The closest thing to a 'Why are you here' comes from Tamotsu-Kun. "You're always so quiet in class, I thought you just wanted to be left alone." Astute observation. "I never realized you were friends with Tohru-Niisan."

"Friends?" I glance toward Mutou-Senpai and try not to blush. "Maybe," I mutter. "Mutou-Senpai helped me with my bike, then asked me to stay for dinner is all." Hey, at least I'm being honest.

"Senpai!?" Mutou-Senpai exclaims, a blush crossing his own face. He looks at me and elbows me in the side. "Don't be so stiff and formal, Natsuno," he scolds, "We're friends, call me Tohru-Chan."

"Natsuno?" the rest of the family parrots.

"So that's your first name?" Aoi-Chan exclaims, a blush sweeping across her face. Great, does she have a crush on me too or something? Masoao's REALLY going to hate me.

I sigh. "I prefer not to be called by that name," I respond. It was my father's choice. It means Summer. It's so girly. But he says he took it from some feudalistic lord. "Yuuki's fine."

"How come?" Mutou-Senpai asks, "I think it's a nice name."

"I have my reasons," I protest.

Mutou-Kun quickly changes the conversation. It changes to other subjects, like how the kids and parents spent their day. So this is how a bigger family acts, is it? I didn't have many friends back in the city, one lived with his widowed mother, another with his divorced father, and another with her grandparents, they were all only children like me, each from unconventional families, and I never got invited to stay at their houses. So, I'm seeing this sort of interaction for the first time. The siblings poke fun at each other, and bicker, but their parents put a quick stop to the bickering. Still, there's an obvious deep seeded bond between them. It's rather refreshing.

Of course Mutou-Sen... No, Tohru-Chan, refuses to let me run off right after the meal. Instead, he drags me up to his room to hang out for a little while. Now it's going to be really late when I get home. Then again, that means Shimizu will be sitting out in the bushes waiting for nothing tonight. Does she honestly not think I know she's there? Maybe she'll leave before I get home.

As I get ready to leave later on, I thank Mutou-San and Mutou-Kun for the pleasant meal, only to get invited back to visit at anytime I want. Just like that, no questions asked. Ok, so maybe not everyone in this town is completely annoying. Tohru-Chan walks me out to my bike and stays out in the yard to see me off when I leave. I don't think he went inside until I was out of sight. I guess there are a few good things about this place, after all.

I get home and cautiously approach the door. I try to be inconspicuous as I glance toward the tree line outside my room. No sign of her. She's bound to have left by now. She never misses a day, even when it's raining. At least she can't ask me where I was, that would give her away. I slip inside and head to my room. Opening the window, I cautiously watch the tree line as I start to change for bed. No signs of movement. I can actually sleep with the window open tonight.