Elissa skidded into the back of Tavo, tossing both of them to the floor before springing up and grabbing Amala by the shoulders. Elissa couldn't stop grinning as she shook the asari back and forth.

"I saw," Elissa sucked in some air, "them kiss!"

Amala's eyes grew wide before she shouted out, "Everyone, Elissa saw them kissing! It's definitive proof that Miranda and Jack are together!"

There was a general cheer from the students around them as Elissa's smile froze in place. What? …What? What?

"What?" Elissa was still heaving for air after her dead sprint and had front row seats to watching the hope and love die in her friend's eyes.

"You saw proof of Jaranda?" Amala said it in a way that was obviously not hopeful, more like a parent who was watching their child fail at the spelling bee and insisting to the other parents around them that their child is smart. She can dress herself in the morning and knows how to prepare cereal. I swear I'm proud.

"Jaranda? What is Jaranda? No, I don't want to know, I saw T'Soni and Shepard kiss." Elissa tried to keep up the happy excitement she'd felt after seeing them, although the effort was on par with staying excited after solving part one of a ten part math problem.

"Oh, Goddess Elissa, you are such a rock—how embarrassing!" Amala shook her head sadly. "False alarm everyone, my bad."

Elissa felt like the smile on her face had now just made itself at home. It was like a cousin or uncle that swung by your house to pick something up but now it was four hours later and they're still on the couch watching football and asking if you have beer. Their shoes are kicked off in some random location, and you're afraid to use your own restroom. The permanent furrow in her brow was a distinct different set up. That was just some gash someone put across her face. Elissa wondered if this is what her mom meant when she'd said her face could freeze this way. Yes that's my daughter, no don't ask, I warned her.

Amala didn't care that Shiara was totally a thing, and what was up with Jaranda, what?

"Look, sweetie, my best friend, my favorite human, my pet rock," Amala patted her on the head condescendingly before leaning heavily on her shoulder. "We all know that Liara and Shepard are a couple. Shiara is so last year and at this point it's not about shipping them. They are in a loving relationship, so you are just supporting that. Admittedly, in the creepiest way you can. The new thing is Jaranda."

Elissa coughed and made a few unhelpful hand gestures. "But, but isn't their love a ship that never sinks or something?" She could feel the sweat building up on her forehead and lower back, her throat was oddly tight. This was the thing. This was everyone's thing, and Elissa had finally been on the cutting edge of it and apparently discovered that the 'ship that never sinks' had long departed.

"Again, real relationship, so that is both sweet and creepy of you." Amala rolled her eyes and inspected her newly painted nails.

"But you think Ms. Lawson; the icy rule stickler is in love with Jack, the angry janitor?"

"Wow, that's rude of you? Jack just got hired on and will be teaching biology now that Dr. Solus retired."

"Ok, so the stuffed shirt administrator is hooking up with the hot headed biology teacher? I don't buy that. I mean, have you seen them interact, have you spent two seconds watching how much they loath one another?"

"They love to loath each other, it's totally an act." Amala declared turning her gaze to the aforementioned not couple, who were currently walking down the hall snapping at one another looking a hair away from devolving into a biotic fight. Amala's eyes flutter in happiness. "They are so in love."

Elissa looked at her love sick friend and then back at the pair who were now tersely exchanging papers and arguing about something else. "No, T'Soni and Shepard are in love, these two are in hate. Look at them!"

Jack roughly yanked something out of Ms. Lawson's hand, and Ms. Lawson's perfectly sculpted eyebrows shot to her hair line. A look that usually would kill the recipient, this time around only causing the tattooed woman to snarl back.

"They are so married." Kielrok said with a definitive tone to it.

"They are so married, so hard." Tavo agreed while he wrapped his arms around the Krogan.

Amala folder her hands together, propped her chin on them, and sighed. "So sweet."

Elissa frowned and tried to not gag or fake retch too much. Not a couple, no way, no how!

A/N: Thank you everyone for sticking this out with me, was meant to be a one shot and somehow got out of control. I blame Kellise whose review made me laugh hard enough to write a second chapter. I also blame RheasHelm whose genuine interest in my head cannons and this story convinced me to keep writing. Thank you NaraTemariS2 for all your kind words and I hope that your Dragon Age high school shipping fic goes one wonderfully as well. To all my reviewers, thank you for taking the extra time to drop me a note! I hadn't written in over a year and had fallen out of writing fanfiction basically all together, what a wonderful way to fall back into it. Thank you again folks for your help and suggestions, and notice of my spelling and grammatical mess ups.

I started to feel like this story was dragging along harder than Elissa to physics and decided to end the story (such as it was) before it completely dissolved and everyone felt a little bit of embarrassment over its sudden decline. That being said, I have half written chapters, free writes, warms ups, etc from this that I am considering posting to this story as "Post Story" chapters that don't really effect or interact much with the story line. These tend to focus more on the OCs than Shiara so I am wondering if anyone is interested in me posting those or if folks would rather I not. Let me know via review or PM and I'll figure something out.

Finally, if you really haven't gotten your fill of this, I am irregularly updating another story called "Students Ship Us" that is from Liara and Shepard's side of things. It's a different feel to it (imo) but it does fall into this AU, so feel free to check it out if you are still rocking your Shoni pins and cheering for the Ragin' Rachni.

Thanks again, I hope to see you wonderful folks further down the line!