Chapter One

2015

"God Dammit, E!"

I turned and realized it was Lyla who shouted. She was holding the first draft of my dream journal, and was entirely invested into it. "This Dickon Sowerby is so hot!" she continued and immediately I could tell exactly where she was. She was at the part after Mary and Dickon got married. It was their first night together.

Mary continued to kiss him as if she'd never have another chance to do so again. It was even more exciting because they were wedded in secret. Or at least Mary thought so. Dickon was saddened by the idea and wished they could have done things properly but how can they do things properly if they weren't proper to begin with.

Dickon, who was kissing Mary with the same urgency, slowly pulled down the sleeves of her dress and opened the front. He thanked God that dresses were becoming too easy to take off as he quickly moved to his suspenders and began to pull them down.

"Here," said Mary as she pulled away and sat on a small table behind her. She began to lift up the bottom of her skirts and notice the look of insanity Dickon had as he watched and waited patiently for his new wife prepare herself... just for him. Mary smiled when she heard Dickon whisper something, his hands moving to his face in a maddening sort of way. She didn't hear what he said, but she had an idea. "Come to me, my love."

He didn't hesitate. Dickon moved toward her and undid the zipper of his pants. He let his hands roll over her exposed thighs as he moved them toward her behind. Mary was flushed, as she realized he was touching in a place no one had ever touched before. Dickon's eyes moved to Mary's as he pulled her closer to him and lifted her up.

Her legs were wrapped around his waist as she was carefully carried to the bed.

Colin had once said she didn't belong in a tiny, poorly built cottage, but as Dickon slowly placed her on the cushion and aligned himself exactly, she realized he couldn't have been more wrong. Mary couldn't think of a better place to be with her new husband, than a small cottage, at least a mile away from their neighbors. It was sooo perfect. No one to interrupt them. No one to bother them. It was just Dickon and her and it was perfect.

Dickon leaned down and began nuzzling at her neck and as he did this, Mary realized Dickon was much better at this that she, and it made her wonder. "Dickon?" she whispered.

"Mmn?" he mumbled into her neck as a response. It was more of a noise but Mary understood it.

"Have you…?" she struggled to find her words, "Have you- Ah!" She couldn't speak, let alone think while Dickon did that. She didn't want to stop, but she needed to know before they did anything. In fact it should have been a question she should have asked before they got married, but really, it wouldn't have made a difference. Mary would have married him even if Dickon had a… a past. She pushed at his chest and immediately he stopped, quickly meeting her gaze. "What is it?" he asked frantically. Glancing over her he had a look of horror wash over his clear blue eyes, "I didn't hurt tha?"

"No!" Mary said quickly as she moved to cover her eyes embarrassed.

"Then what is it?" he asked carefully. He was confused, he assumed things were going well. Very well. Mary just continued to grow red with embarrassment as a sudden realization hit the young gardener, but he prayed to God he was wrong. "If tha's no' ready, Mary… we donna hav' to-"

"Oh no!" Mary exclaimed, cradling her new husband's face with both hands, "I love this, but…"

Dickon touched her face, barely brushing his fingers against her cheeks as she, once again, struggled to find the words. "Wat' is it?"

She dropped both hands and took a deep breath, now avoiding his intense gaze all together, "I was wondering… well…" Dickon took her hand in his and supportively gave it a squeeze. "Have you-?" she laughed, trying to ease away her nervousness, "Have you… ever… laid with another woman before?"

Now that Dickon knew what this was about, he began to chuckle and it made Mary feel even more embarrassed. Dickon began to kiss her again as he showed her his relief. He only briefly stopped kissing her to answer, "No," and went back to her lips.

Mary smiled into his kisses as she couldn't help but ask, as they smooched, "Have you… have you ever… loved anyone before me?"

Dickon pulled away and looked over her with new and exposed eyes. They were moist and Mary could feel her eyes moisten too as he answered, "Never."

For some reason, it's that dream I remember the most. I remember Dickon's smile and immediately I knew he wasn't lying. "I wish I had dreams like that!" Lyla continued as she finally pulled away from the loose pages and looked at me, completely satisfied, but it was short lived and immediately replaced with shock, "E! Are you crying?"

Shocked, I touched my face and sure enough, my cheeks were wet. What the hell is wrong with me? "No," I say, shaking my head and wiping my face with my sleeve. "C'mon," my voice cracking as I take the papers out of her procession. I shove them mindlessly into my backpack and turn toward the door. "We're gonna be late for work."

…

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