Here is the next instalment. I've just installed Microsoft Word onto my phone so it's handy now I can type on my breaks in work which meant I could get this updated sooner rather than later. Thank you to guests, WB79 and ManveerlovesVauseman for reviewing the last chapter. I really do love reading your reviews.
If you want to review again, then they will be much appreciated. This chapter is more like a filler but hope you enjoy it all the same.
Alex leaned against the brick work, chewing the nail of her thumb whilst tapping her foot relentlessly against the pavement. Ever since her confrontation with Larry, her nerves were frazzled, and after bumping into him on her way out of the building, Alex just knew he would be with Piper. Although she trusted Piper, she didn't trust Larry, not one bit, especially after knowing he was armed with a knowledge that had the potential to ruin her future. The thought of losing Piper caused her head to spin and a wave of nausea to come over her. She started to type out a text to Piper telling her to ignore anything Larry said, but seeing as she didn't know exactly what he knew, she promptly deleted it and started again. She decided to just reiterate what she had told Piper as she left the hospital room.
To Piper: I'm only a phone call away. You can do this Pipes xxx
Once Polly had woken up, Alex suggested she should go home and leave the blonde to break the devastating news to Polly about Pete's demise. Although it was her own suggestion, she couldn't help but feel slight disappointment and rejection when Piper agreed with her.
From Piper: The doctors are fussing over Polly at the minute. Larry turned up so I think we are going to tell her everything together. I couldn't have done any of this without you today. Thank you for everything xxx
Alex couldn't control the bile that started to travel up her oesophagus and she just had time to turn into the corner of the building and bring up the contents of her stomach. She leaned her elbow onto the wall whilst she held back her hair to prevent splashes of vomit.
"Holy shit, Vause."
Alex retched one more time as Nicky stood by her side, unhelpfully balking at the sight of Alex's queasiness. Alex stumbled back, and wiped the back of her hand against her mouth.
"All done?"
Alex leaned her head against her arm on the wall and waited for the nauseous feeling to pass before nodding her head in confirmation. She followed Nicky to the cab she had waiting, and following a warning from the taxi driver about charging them if she threw up on the back seat, they were on their way. Alex leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes just for a moment, trying to imagine the last 5 years never happened and she and Piper had never parted ways. She wasn't left in peace too long before her eyes opened with a jolt as the cab raced over a speed bump.
"Jesus, you trying to make her sick again?" Nicky snapped at the driver. "Asshole."
Alex smiled at Nicky's protectiveness, and punched her playfully in the arm.
"Thanks for coming for me Nichols. I didn't know what else to do."
"Hey, what are friends for? We'll talk about whatever it is back the flat ok?"
"Ok," Alex sighed, the feeling of dread returning to her body.
Alex handed Nicky the keys and she turned them in the lock, fiddling with it a couple of times before it actually opened. They walked up a flight of stairs that led straight into the living room.
"Right, pick your poison," Nicky stated, skimming her finger over the various liqueur bottles placed in a neat row on the kitchen worktop. "I figure we could start with something light like an alcopop or something. Prepare your sensitive stomach for the onslaught we are about to give it."
"Larry knows Howard Bloom."
"Absinthe it is," Nicky said without missing a beat, swiping up the bottle of bright green liquid and grabbing two glasses. She poured an even amount of the alcohol into each glass and handed Alex one, refilling it almost instantaneously as Alex downed the drink in one go.
"I was going to do the Czech Absinthe ritual but glad I didn't bother now if you're going to drink it that fast."
"Wouldn't you if you were in my situation?" Alex quipped.
"You need to start from the beginning. What happened?"
Nicky sat down on the sofa next to Alex and listened intently to the replayed the conversation she had with Larry, including the way his voice implied a threat. Nicky gasped in the right place, and poured them both another shot, which for Alex, knew that was Nicky's way of telling her she was well and truly fucked. Alex gripped her hair by the roots and screamed in frustration.
"He's going to fucking tell her Nicky. She's going to hate me. How could I be so fucking stupid?"
"Hey, hey, calm the fuck down," Nicky placed her glass down on the arm of the sofa and grabbed Alex's hands away from her hair. "How do you know he knows?"
"He knows Howard."
"That means fuck all, Alex. Howards was your lawyer, so what? Aren't they like doctors where they have patient confidentiality or some shit like that?"
"I don't know, I guess they could. Probably not but it's worth hoping, right? It's just all one big mess."
"Listen, they sounded like empty threats to me. You went to prison, so what? Even if he knows that it doesn't mean he knows the ins and outs of your case."
Alex took a sensible sip of her drink and her nerves calmed somewhat. She walked up to the worktop that was a couple of feet away from the sofa, and poured her and Nicky a whiskey each, ice cubes included. She returned to her seat, with the bottle and her glass and leaned her head against the cushion, resting her eyes while she let Nicky's words sink in.
"You could always get there first. Tell her before all of this spirals out of control."
"You don't think I haven't thought about that Nicky?" she answered without opening her eyes. "I haven't found the right time."
"Is there ever going to be a right time to tell the love of your life that your actions could have potentially gotten her sent to prison."
"Don't even say anymore Nicky," Alex raised her hand and opened her eyes. "I feel sick just even thinking about what could have happened. This is why I should have stayed away but it's Piper, you know."
Nicky nodded in understanding and opened the tin that was resting on the coffee table in front of them. She expertly rolled a spliff and offered it to Alex, tutting when she refused it.
"Under the thumb already eh!" she joked. "Jeez, you got it bad Vause."
Alex swilled the whiskey around the glass, ice clanging against the side. She couldn't help but agree. Nicky sat on the windowsill and opened the window, taking a drag of the spliff and blowing it into the air outside. As if wanting to prove to herself that she was still the same independant woman, Alex approached her and took a drag of the spliff, sitting down on the dining chair at Nicky's feet.
They allowed the few minutes of silence to contemplate their thoughts, the only sound being that of Nicky flicking the lighter on and off, something Alex learned was a nervous habit of hers.
"Piper's starting to get suspicious."
"About?"
"About me vanishing off the face of the earth every weekend."
"Fucking dyke drama," Nicky sighed, snatching the spliff out of Alex's fingers.
"I need you to do something for me. I need you to pretend to be me on the weekends."
Nicky choked as she inhaled at the same time as Alex's request. She flicked the smoke out of the window and jumped off her place on the windowsill.
"Oh what like," Alex watched in bemusement as Nicky pulled at her shirt with the pretence she had a large chest and coughed to deepen her voice. "Hey, girl. Sorry I, uh, fucked you over in Paris. Let me lick your pussy."
"Fucking dick," she slapped Nicky's arm, holding back a laugh. "I mean via text. All Piper wants is reassurance that I'm thinking about her."
"I don't know, Vause."
"I just need to buy some time Nicky. I swear once all of this with Polly is over, I will tell Piper everything."
"One weekend Vause."
"Three."
"Two. That's my final offer. Take it or leave it."
Alex sighed and shook Nicky's hand to seal the deal. It was better than nothing and she knew not to push it further as she wouldn't put it past Nicky to withdraw the deal completely. Alex was desperate, she just needed to buy some more time, or maybe a bit of courage.
The two women discussed the potential outcomes of the situation at length, the alcohol in the bottle becoming less and less with each depressing scenario. Alex picked up her phone and blinked a couple of times - a half arsed attempt at getting rid of the double vision that the drinking was causing her.
"Hey, hey Nichols," Alex slurred, tugging on Nicky's sleeve, a meagre try to wake Nicky from her drunken slumber, whilst still rambling about what she planned to do.
The bushy haired woman was sat in an upright position, her head lolled against her chest and the ash from her cigarette causing a patch of grey on her trousers. Alex's words were barely coherent to her equally drunk self, so she raised her head and asked Alex to repeat what she'd just said.
"I said, all of this time I thought I need," she hiccupped. "Needed time, but I didn't. I don't. Dutch courage is all I need."
"Vause, What the hell are you on about?"
Alex stumbled to the counter and swiped up a bottle of unopened vodka, and twisted the cap until it gave a satisfying click and opened. She took a large swig from the bottle and grimaced slightly as it hit her taste buds.
"Dutch courage is all I need to tell Piper everything," she raised the bottle in triumph.
"You're not going to tell Piper," she commented, licking the rolling paper, preparing a fresh joint.
"I am. I'm going around there right now."
"You don't wanna do that Alex."
"Ooooh my first name, you must be serious," Alex giggled, the weed having already taken effect.
"I am fucking serious. You do this now, like this," Nicky took a drag and waved her arm as if presenting Alex to the room. "You can kiss goodbye to your girlfriend."
"I'll probably have to do that anyway, let's be honest."
The lack of response caused panic to settle in the pit of Alex's stomach. Nicky's blatant avoidance to make eye contact or even answer her spoke volumes. She swayed to the door, bottle in hand, and walked out onto the New York city street, Nicky's voice calling for her to return washing over her.
Her phone repeatedly buzzed in her pocket but she ignored it, knowing it would just be Nicky trying to talk some sense into her. She stopped for a couple of gulps of her courage, and replaced the cap, placing the bottle into the inside pocket of her jacket.
The streets were still buzzing with activity, although the attire of bodies swerving around each other had changed. Business suits and pencil skirts were swapped fancy dresses and clubbing gear. Despite it being a Monday, there was always something for the New Yorkers to do, always somewhere to be.
Alex stopped to light a cigarette she'd borrowed off Nicky, and found herself face planting the floor, her hand scraping against broken glass beneath her. Several people swerved to avoid the obviously drunken lady, and she clumsily helped herself to her feet and brushed down her outfit. She tried to recognise the street that would lead her to Polly's, and after a struggle, she eventually made it, the white picket fence slowly coming into view.
The house looked deserted from the inside. Alex looked for any signs of life, even just a glare from a television or the sounds of a baby crying. Undeterred, Alex bent down and picked up a small pebble, throwing it at Piper's bedroom window. She was triumphant on her third attempt, so she used her voice to accompany the sound of the pebble hitting the glass.
"Pipes!" the loud whisper stirred nothing in the dwelling, she raised her voice an octave. "Piper!"
She grumbled and took out her phone, swiping past the missed calls from her friend. She found Piper's name and called her a few times, cursing each time it went to voicemail. For the first time, she had an insight as to what Piper's weekends must be like. The feeling of being so detached from her unreachable girlfriend, causing a sense of loneliness and unease. She could understand why the blonde had been so short with her. After leaving Piper a voicemail, she hung up and slid down the door, resting her head on the frame as her eyes closed against her will, the grip on the bottle of vodka in her hand loosening.
She didn't know how much time had passed before familiar voices roused her from her drunken stupor.
"So you still think this is the woman of your dreams?"
"Shut the fuck up Larry and help me get her inside," Piper snapped, pulling on Alex's arm and encouraging Larry to do the same with her other arm.
They both struggled, Alex being a dead weight, still semi unconscious. She snatched her arm out of Larry's grip and fell the short distance to the floor.
"Just let me sleep," she grumbled, hugging the bottle of vodka to her chest and resuming her previous position of leaning against the door frame.
"Larry, can you go get her some water please?"
Larry looked at Alex in disgust and shook his head, wondering what the hell his ex girlfriend saw in in the intoxicated woman. He agreed nontheless and entered the house, leaving Piper the job of waking up the raven haired woman.
"Alex," Piper crouched down, and affectionately stroked raven hair away from Alex's face. She lifted her chin with her index finger and grabbed Alex's face in her hands, stroking her thumbs over her pale cheeks.
"Al, c'mon I need you to wake up so I can get you to bed. Do this for me, please?"
"Just fucking drag her up," Larry slammed the glass of water on the floor and roughly grabbed the unconscious woman by the arm, pulling her up to a standing position.
"Don't be so fucking rough with her," Piper pushed at his chest and draped one of Alex's arms over her shoulder before the taller woman could fall to the floor. "Just go home and I'll deal with this."
"You're seriously mad at me right now? After everything you've been through today, it should be you getting drunk. She's a selfish, fucking asshole."
"Just go, Larry."
Piper managed to drag Alex into the hallway, and she slammed the door behind her using her foot. She did a half spin and dropped Alex on the bottom stair. Her head lolled onto the side of the banister and Piper sighed in concern and frustration. She pulled Alex's shoes off and struggled slightly at the heel, falling back onto the floor at the force of her pull.
Piper stood up, placed her hands on her hips and frowned at the passed out, older woman. Never had she seen her in this state, so vulnerable and well, drunk. Alex had looked after Piper plenty of times in this state, so she really did owe her a favour, but that was when they were younger with a naïve view of the world. Deciding on her next move, Piper tried at wrestle the bottle of vodka out of Alex's grip, which was strong even though the woman was unconscious. A couple of sharp tugs and the bottle was released. Piper looked at the label and gasped at the smear of blood over the clear glass. Placing the bottle down, she took a look at Alex's palm and winced at the depth of the cut. She surmised it probably looked worse than it was and probably wouldn't need stitches but she couldn't be sure. Another trip back to the hospital was far from her plans of the evening.
"Should probably get it under some running water first," she muttered to herself.
She pulled on Alex's arm in an effort to pull her up, but failed miserably. Rushing back into the kitchen she filled a glass with water and searched through the cupboards for a first aid kit. A good 10 minute search later, and Piper found what she was looking for. She grabbed the box by it's handle and returned to the hall.
She stared in concern at the empty bottom stair, and followed the unmistakeable sound of retching. She knew after the tiresome and emotionally draining day that she'd had, Piper should feel hostile towards the figure hunched over the toilet bowl, but this was Alex and she could feel nothing but sympathy and concern for her.
"Shit, Alex," Piper said, placing the first aid kit a glass of water to one side.
She approached the very ill woman and crouched down next to her, stroking her back gently. She gagged at the smell lingering in the air and removed a spare bobble from her wrist, scraping Alex's hair into a messy bun.
"How the hell have you managed to get in this state?"
Alex rested her head on the seat of the toilet so she would be ready when the next wave of nausea would come over her. Piper wasn't sure if Alex had heard her as she closed her eyes and started breathing deeply.
"Nicky," she slurred. "Absinthe and Whiskey."
"You forgot vodka."
The mention of alcohol caused a very unpleasant squirm in Alex's stomach and she could feel the sickness making a comeback.
"Shit, Al. Maybe I should call an ambulance and we can get your stomach pumped."
Alex moved away from the toilet and rested her back and her head on the tiled wall. The wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and sucked in a lungful of air.
"I'll be fine. It's my own fault."
"Here," Piper handed Alex the glass of water and she downed it in one, grateful for some rehydration even though she knew she would find herself with a dry mouth again in a matter of seconds.
"Thankyou," Alex whispered.
"It's ok. I do really need to clean your hand though so you're going to have to stand up so I can run it under the tap."
A look of confusion spread over Alex's facial features and she turned over the hand that wasn't holding the glass.
"Your other hand," Piper chuckled. "You must have been really out of it so I won't ask how you did it. Come on. Take my hand and I can help you up."
Alex downed the rest of the water and placed the empty glass onto the tiled floor. She managed to lift herself up with the aid of Piper's hand, and sat on the lidded toilet whilst her carer gauged the temperature of the water. Deciding it was just right, Piper pulled Alex up so that she was standing in front of the sink, her hand under the running tap. Alex hissed as the force of the water hit her cut.
"I'm sorry, babe, but it needs to be done," Piper said apologetically.
Once the water started running clear like it should, and not a shade of red as it mixed with her blood, Piper turned off the tap and dabbed at the wound, carefully drying it before she applied some ointment. She rummaged through the first aid kit and pulled out a gauze plaster, instructing Alex to hold it in place whilst she wrapped a bandage across her injured hand.
"I know it's late but I'm going to run you a bath ok?" Piper said, not waiting for a response as she poured some of the popular 'Popi' products into the bath to mix with the hot water. "You get out of those clothes and I'll bring you something to sleep in."
Alex smiled slightly to acknowledge she'd heard Piper. She couldn't nod her head due to the constant throbbing, and she didn't trust herself to speak just yet, incase she threw up the contents of her stomach once again. She slowly stripped herself of her clothing, and testing the temperature of the water with one foot first, she slipped into the tub, groaning in satisfaction. She turned off the running tap with her foot, and sank further down in the tub, as she kept a keen ear out for the sound of Piper's footsteps returning to the bathroom.
"I'll just leave the clothes here," Piper said, dropping the small pile onto the closed lid of the toilet. "Come back to the bedroom when you're done."
Piper bent down to retrieve Alex's dirty clothes and headed to the door to make a hasty retreat.
"Stay."
The blonde paused, and turned her head towards the source of the small voice. She half smiled at the vulnerability of a woman who usually prided herself on her strength and confidence. Gone was the tough exterior of Alex Vause. Her walls were slowly crumbling, allowing Piper to finally see the real woman behind the glasses.
She threw Alex's clothes into the laundry hamper rather than take them downstairs to the washing machine, which was her original intention, and she kneeled down, crossing her arms on the side of the bath.
"Do you think you'll be sick again?"
"No," Alex thought after a beat, her words still slightly slurred. "I don't think there's anything left in me."
Piper smiled sadly and reached for Alex's glasses, putting them on the side of the bath. She pulled at raven hair and finally managed to release the dark tresses from the tight bun she'd created. Alex looked at Piper with quizzical eyes,
"So you can dunk yourself under the water," Piper explained. "I think you got puke in your hair. Keep your bandaged hand out of the water though."
Alex did as she was asked and allowed the water to cover her face, effectively soaking all of her hair in the process. She remained under the water for what felt like minutes until she was pulled up. She thought she was receiving a head massage, until some of the shampoo trailed into her eyes, causing them to sting. Piper noticed and used a wet flannel to dab at her eyes.
"Sorry," she muttered, reaching for the shower head. "I thought I would wash your hair for you so you could keep your hand dry. I should have warned you really."
"I think this is the first time you've washed my hair. I used to wash your hair all of the time so it's a nice change."
Piper smiled, and reminisced about the times in her happy place with Alex by her side. Their showers usually ended with one of them climaxing, but she was always fond of the memories when Alex would affectionately wash her hair for her. She loved the intimacy of the loving moment. Piper rinsed off the remaining shampoo and conditioner, and pulled the towel she'd left warming up on the radiator before wrapping it around Alex's shivering form.
"Your toothbrush is in the cupboard and I think you know where everything else is. Come to bed when you're ready."
Alex's heart sank at the exhaustion and disappointment in Piper's voice. She was sobering up enough to know the consequences of her drunken behaviour and felt a burn of shame at how wasted she'd allowed herself to get. She should have refused to fall back into her usual behaviour of drinking away her problems, and simply waited for some kind of contact from Piper whether it be a phone call, a text or even a knock on her door. She should have been there for Piper after the ordeal of her breaking the life changing news to Polly. With that thought in mind, she brushed her teeth that bit more aggressively, only stopping when her gums started to bleed.
"Fuck," she whispered, placing her glasses back onto her face. Double vision due to the alcohol consumption was bad enough but adding to that without her optical prescription was even worse.
Alex apprehensively opened the bedroom door, stumbling slightly into the door frame. Piper was curled under the bed covers, her back facing the wall away from Alex.
"Do you," she paused to hiccup. "Do you want me to go?"
"You're not in any fit state to go anywhere, Alex."
"I can sleep on the sofa then?"
Piper answered her comment by reaching her arm behind her and peeling back the covers. She didn't turn her body around, opting to stay facing the wallpaper that was partially lit by the streetlamp outside.
Alex took up the invitation and crawled into the bed and lay on the bed, staring up at the darkened ceiling, willing the room to stop spinning.
"Are you mad?"
"No I'm not mad," Piper sighed. She turned over onto her back, mimicking Alex's position. "I'm just exhausted from today, emotionally more than anything."
Alex internally cursed herself. Until that moment, lying in bed with the light of the mooning shining on Piper's facial features, she hadn't noticed the red rings around Piper's eyes, or the constant wateriness that they held. If anything , Piper should have been the one who was drowning her sorrows and relying on Alex to take care of her. The still drunk woman, turned onto her side, and waited, expecting Piper to breakdown at any minute.
The tears that she expected to accumulate at the corner of her eyes at any given moment, never came. Eager to pay Piper back for looking after her, Alex probed the situation in the selfish hope she could be a knight in shining armour again, the protector, the carer and not the vulnerable one.
"You ok?" she whispered.
"Yeah."
"You seem so far away, like your head is in a whole other place," Alex shuffled closer to the blonde and grasped the ends of blonde hair, twisting the ends in her fingers.
"It is."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really, no," Piper muttered and turned over so that her back was facing Alex once again.
Alex closed her eyes and willed away the emotions that were threatening to overspill. Other than throwing up, the emotional turmoil that alcohol could bring out in her was probably her least favourite side effect that came after and during a night of boozing. It was very unlike Piper to exhibit such closed off behaviour, so the fact she was doing it now cause Alex's mind to race and panic to set in. She sat up in the bed, her bottom half still covered by the sheet, and massaged her temples, the panic and worry starting up her dizziness once again. Alex felt the bed shift slightly, and slender fingers gripped her exposed thigh.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah," Alex lied, the throbbing in her head starting to worsen.
"You're clearly not."
Piper reached into her bedside drawer and handed Alex a tablet, instructing her to only take one rather than two as they were of high strength. Alex cooperated immediately, eager to escape from the onslaught of pounding from her dehydrated brain
"You should get some sleep," Piper said. "It won't be long until Finn's back, and now he's crawling everywhere we wont get a minutes peace."
"Where is he?"
"He's with Larry's mom and dad. Howard is dropping him off first thing so-"
"Howard?" Alex interrupted, an unsettling feeling settling in the gut of her stomach.
"Larry's dad. I swear if he makes any comment about mine and Larry's relationship, or should I say lack of, you might have to come down there and restrain me. Are you sure you're ok?" Piper rubbed Alex's leg, seeing her clam up at the mention of Larry's parents.
"There's something I need to...I guess what I'm trying to say is," Alex paused, Nicky's advice about being open and honest sooner rather than later swimming to the surface of her brain. Her own internal monologue screamed for her to wait, it wasn't the right time. She was always one to follow her own advice, and lucky for Alex she'd sobered up enough to do that. "I'm sorry, for this evening. You shouldn't have to look after me especially with everything else that's going on in your life."
Piper smiled and tugged on the neck of Alex's borrowed t-shirt, effectively pulling her down so she was face to face with her. She pecked Alex gently on the lips and then her nose, and trailed her fingers down the side of the taller woman's cheek until they came to rest on her chin.
"You're my girlfriend, that's what I'm here for. If you had to get so drunk, I'm glad you ended up on my doorstep. It means I got to take care of you and to be honest, you were a very welcome distraction. If you hadn't been there, I would have probably come home, drank myself into a stupor and woke up with an even worse hangover than the one you're going to have," Piper teased and poked Alex's side with her index finger.
Alex groaned at the thought of waking up in just a few hours, the imminent hangover a reminder of her stupidity. Silence engulfed the room, and it wasn't long before Alex's eyes started to droop, the tiredness of the evening catching up with her once again. As she was on the cusp of her dreams, she jolted with a start as the unexpected closeness of Piper's body curling into her waist brought a loving smile to her lips. Alex decided there and then, that the hangover would definitely be worth it.