Why is it so hot? Why can't I escape? Help me! Help me! Please, can't someone help me?! I'm scared. Why did you do this to me? What did I do wrong?

The fire spread across my duvet to catch my pillows, my hands now desperately on the window, hitting it as hard as I can to get someone's attention. But people start gathering, and they are watching me. They want to see the show, to see me burn. Can't they see this isn't an act? That something has gone horribly wrong? No, the spectators see nothing, and marvel at how the fire eats my curtains.

Please help me! Please! I beg of you! Please…I don't want to die…

I open my eyes slowly, the dream still playing behind my eyelids like a film reel on repeat. Blinking doesn't seem to help. I look down at my arms, the dream reminding me how hot they had been. My arms were now unblemished and porcelain coloured, like nothing had ever happened. I flex my fingers, seeing a small scar around my index finger from an accident from last year. You'd never think I had been in a fire But after the dream, I often had to remind myself. I wasn't burning, not anymore. If I let myself remember, I can see the fire licking my skin…burning it away…

I shake my head slowly, not wanting to go back there as I put my hands on my face, feeling the too warm skin. It was probably this train, it had started to overheat a little in the compartments. That was my hope, and I clung to it with all my might. With the stray thoughts cleared from my head, I moved my hands to pull up my legs, wrapping them under me as I grabbed a blanket to keep warm. I must have knocked it off last night. I then wrap my arms around my chest, feeling myself taking in deep breaths of air…of precious air.

I was here, on a train, and not in that house anymore. I need never go there again, because it was a part of my past. I was no longer the girl who lived there…I was free.

I tried to determine how the dream had come into existence as I glanced out the window, seeing fields of green and clover. Beyond it, I could see sheep and what looked like people. Perhaps the dream had played because I was returning to my old hometown. But when I looked out the window, I realised I had never seen London like this before. Maybe we were on the very outskirts, or in a different town altogether right now. How much longer until we were there? The land was too green and I only saw one carriage, and it had been a bit more of a rickshaw than a carriage. We must not be too close then…but you could never really tell.

I was going back to London, after four very long years away. That last trip had not been pleasant, with many things happening to mark it as such. Perhaps this trip would be better…but maybe not. I would be in London for a little over a month before everything was packed and ready to go again. Where would we go next? Maybe someone would tell me soon. I was hoping for Wales…since I could see the cliffs again then. I liked to stand out on their edges and look out at the sea, and realise how small England was, compared to all that was out there. There was so much beyond the ocean…

I shook my head again before deciding to distract myself and found my small bag. I took out the notebook there and some pens, and began checking the records for the circus. We had enough money to start us off, but should we recruit new members, they'd have to make their own keep. There wouldn't be enough food for everyone, so I would visit the farmers' stalls and try and find us something or make a deal for supplies. I then took out a small crude map of our campsite and scrawled down names accordingly. The first tier members got a tent to themselves while the others were expected to share with another or even two if we ran out of space. I came across my assistants' names and put them in separate tents. They never got on, when bunked together. I had made that mistake before, and one of them had nearly lost an eye.

Once everyone had a room, including me, I set that map aside and put together everyone's 'wages'. It was more like pocket money for everyone, given once a week to cover costs they saw as necessary. What they did with this money was of no concern, until they came back to me and told me what they had done with it. I had to keep track of the money so no one could say they lost it. The men hated admitting to me that they had used some of the money to spend a night with the prostitutes. But that was hardly unusual. It happened in every town we visited. I spent my money on other things, sometimes dresses if I could spare change.

I wasn't sure why I had been given such a role with the circus, along with being a performer. I was like…an accountant. I got the same as the others, and sometimes…a little extra to cover my time. But no one knew of it, not even the other first tier members. As far as they were concerned, I got the same pocket money they did, nothing more. I often saved this money and used it for other things…

With all that sorted, I put the notebook away and looked back out the window. It was the only thing I wanted to do, to pass the time. I put one of my hands against the glass of the window, feeling the cold it emitted before I took it away. A print of my hand remained there until it clouded up and faded away, almost as if it had never existed to begin with. Perhaps that was how all things were supposed to be in the end…

"Angel?" a voice asked and I turned slowly to see Christopher Hayden, one of my assistants, standing by the door of my compartment. His flaming red hair was getting longer and some had managed to escape the ponytail he had and got into his eyes. He brushed it aside, but it moved back, as if determined to remain front and centre. A scar ran down his left eye, from an unfortunate incident between him and his partner, when said partner had picked up a bottle and broke it.

"Yes, Crimson?" I answered, and gave him a smile to ease his discomfort. He wasn't used to the name the troupe had given him yet, and didn't like to be reminded of his red hair.

"Is something the matter?" I continued when he said nothing, but looked down at his shoes. He may need new ones while we were here in London.

"Nothing's wrong with me…or anyone really," he said as he lifted his eyes to look at me before pushing his hair back over his ear, "Joker just asked me to let you know there's a meeting happening in half an hour, about this trip and the parade."

"Oh," I replied, surprised Joker hadn't come to see me himself. I didn't say anything else, unable to think of something other than the latest show.

"Angel…have you seen Opal recently?" Crimson asked me, as if testing waters. The question had caught me by surprise, I hadn't expected him to ask me about Opal.

I hadn't seen the man since we got on this train. He had been putting bags in the luggage compartment, and had only taken my luggage as I boarded the train. We hadn't spoken a word, not since the last show. He knew he had done wrong, and I think he knew I expected an apology from him. I had warned him, told him he wouldn't be my assistant again until he apologised.

"No, I haven't," I said to Crimson and he looked perplexed, "why, did something happen to him?"

"He was in the drinks compartment when I was looking for you," he answered.

Opal's real name was William Reddy. He had joined the troupe by chance, his talent being juggling. He could juggle almost anything…so long as he was sober. The sobriety part was not often accomplished by him, and he often made mistakes. One mistake, his most recent one, had been when he had been helping me during my act.

There was a trick I had, one I called Stairway to Heaven. It was one of my favourites, because for a few moments, it was like I was walking on air. The audience thought I was floating when in fact, I was walking on thin glass. It was so thin that no light could reflect on it. It was a staircase that went up about four metres, before levelling out. I would often walk this, circling it before standing in front of a hole. This was cut out so I could fall, and people would think…what happened there? I had been doing this live one day, and Crimson had been wandering below, as I had instructed him to do so. The fall, if I wasn't caught, could cause me serious injury.

Opal…Opal had been away from Crimson, away from me. He was supposed to be waiting there, waiting for me. He had instead been trying to speak to one of the costumers. I had stepped back and fallen through the hole, only for Crimson to catch me…or rather, half of me. He had caught my right side, holding my leg and losing his grip on my back. The rest of me had hit him with a lot of force before I landed on the floor, which resulted in Crimson also getting hurt. My left leg had needed to be repaired as it had shattered from calf to knee…

I had screamed, the pain had been quite a shock to me. Opal had heard me and run over…only to pick up my then sore left side and smile at the audience. He even had the audacity to say, "ta dah!" before Joker cut the lights and I was carried away by him to Doc. I had told Opal not to come near me, that I never wanted him in my act again until he got himself together. The next fall could be my last, if he didn't wise up. Those had been my exact words to him, and when I listened back to them, they sounded cruel and harsh. But it was the truth.

I looked down at the blanket, making out my legs…that were not my legs. I couldn't feel them like a normal person could. Because up to mid-thigh…was prosthetic. I had lost my legs when I had been six years old, and since I was seven, I had been using prosthetic limbs. They were adjusted every year to take into account growth, but Doc had mentioned I didn't seem to be changing…I was the same size I had been since I was thirteen. Maybe a little taller, but I was still the same. Now my legs only needed to be repaired, which reminded me. I had to ask Joker if I could see Doc when we got into London. My legs had been causing me some bother, often locking up while I was walking. There was also a shooting pain when I tried to adjust them, as if a nail was being stuck into my thigh to hold the leg on.

"He's talking about sobering up," Crimson said when I hadn't answered him in some time, "but I'm not sure if he will in the end."

"If he can't…there is nowhere in this circus he can work safely," I whispered, not liking the words as I said them. It was the truth though. What if he was juggling knives, and while drunk, dropped them and hurt a customer? Or if I let him back into my act, what if he dropped me again? It was too dangerous for him to remain at the circus while he was like this.

"Yeah, I guess you're right…" Crimson said as he moved more hair back, "there's no one out there for him."

I knew that already. He had joined the troupe when his wife had left him, taking their daughter with her. He had hoped to travel with us; that perhaps he would find her again. But that had been two years ago, and no Mrs Reddy had been at any of our shows. He had shown us a picture of the woman, and she had looked tired. Maybe she was with family, and returned to her maiden name. We had asked him what it was, and all he could say about it was…

"It began with F…" he said, and he had been on his way to a drunken stupor.

There were many people whose last name began with F, it was hardly an uncommon letter. Her first name had been harder to uncover, and Crimson had only heard it by chance. Opal had been in the drinks compartment and heard him talking to the waiter.

"You know, my wife was like this brandy…" he had said.

"How so, sir?" the waiter had asked.

"Amber…her name was Amber…" he had answered before dropping all conversation to drink.

Opal had joined us from the London area, so she could still be here. Maybe she would come to a show and talk to him, demand he sober up before they got back together. He would leave the circus and have a family. I wanted to hope for that future with him…and didn't want to kick him out on the street. I sighed while I thought all of that.

"He is sorry, you know," Crimson whispered after another long pause.

This made my earlier sympathy turn to annoyance. Couldn't the man apologise for himself without sending Crimson on to me? Couldn't he walk to my compartment and say anything?

"He has to come say it himself," I said coldly, as this had been the seventh time this trip Opal had sent Crimson to apologise for him.

"Why?" Crimson asked, sounding a touch annoyed, as he often did after relaying the message.

"I need to hear him say it, and know he means it," I replied, looking out the window, "I want to know that I can trust him to catch me again."

"That's a load of bull!" Crimson snapped and I looked back at him, surprised by the outburst.

"What?" I asked him, truly confused. He normally nodded and walked off, to tell what I had said to Opal. He never got angry with me.

"You want him down here and grovel for some stupid assistant job!" Crimson snapped, "just accept he's sorry and move on!"

"Crimson…" I said slowly, not wanting him to disturb my companion, who was still asleep across from me.

"You know it's bull!" he continued, "and you keep demanding it!"

"Crimson…you're annoyed. Leave now and find someone else to work with. I don't want to speak to you unless you apologise to me. Don't bother showing up for practise either."

I made those words sound cold, hoping to convey that I didn't like this behaviour of his. He was normally a nice man, only recently turned twenty. I didn't expect him to get angry, he was often happy around us all. But maybe I had missed him bonding with Opal…over a mutual enemy.

"You're kicking me out?!" he demanded, leaning further into the compartment, "because I came here to apologise?!"

"No, because you're angry and acting out. I want you to know that speaking to me like this is not acceptable. Go to the meeting, I'll be there shortly…" I said slowly.

His mouth turned down, clearly annoyed with me before he pushed himself away and towards the dining carriage. He might cool down once we got off this train…and he might not. I now needed two new assistants for my stay in London, which would be difficult.

I put the blanket aside and unfolded my legs to put them on the floor. I wished I could feel the cold wood on the soles of my feet again, but there was nothing I could do about it. I stood slowly, catching the handle above my head to keep my balance. My companion didn't seem to notice as I stood still, my legs having locked out again. This was becoming a frequent occurrence…and that meant I needed to see Doc soon.

I leaned forward slowly and touched my companion's face, hoping to wake her without calling her name. She turned her face towards the palm of my hand, as if to offer herself more comfort. It took a moment before she opened her big blue eyes to look at where I had been sitting, and then travelled over to where I stood. She yawned, displaying all her teeth in what could be classed as almost menacing before licking her lips. She looked back at me as she sat up, wondering what I wanted. She must have been having a nice dream, considering she still looked half asleep.

"Can you push my knees out?" I asked her, pointing to the joint that felt locked.

She yawned again before standing, turning herself awkwardly in the chair to cross to the one behind me. She then moved an arm and pushed carefully against my knee, a practised gesture. I felt the relief almost immediately, and she yawned again as I stepped forward, the sharp pain in my thigh returning. I couldn't do a performance like this, and decided I would see Doc as soon as.

I found my dress and threw it on over my head to cover my corset and short underskirt. I had decided to sleep like that last night, loosening the corset strings a little so I wouldn't hurt my ribs. I tied off the dress and ran my hands through my hair, not sure where my hairbrush was. It would look like I had just woken up, but I didn't care. I found my boots and threw them on over my stockings and looked back at my companion, her eyes still heavy with sleep.

"Come on, Mei, there's a meeting," I whispered to her, "I'll get you a steak if you come with."

Her ears perked up at the sound of steak and looked at the door, now wanting me to move quickly so she could have her breakfast. I was probably spoiling her…but she was my only friend. I could spoil her as I pleased. I opened the door to the compartment and stepped out, only to reach back into my room and grabbing the blanket to wrap around my shoulders. You could really feel the chill out here, and it probably had to do with someone opening all the windows in the corridor. I took to my right towards the dining carriage, Mei following behind me.

Mei took up the whole corridor, her body only barely fitting it. Her eyes stayed on my thighs as we walked, and her tail hit the wooden skirting of the train. Her fur was an amazing white, streaked with black lines that made her more unusual than Betty. Betty was Beast's tiger, the same as Mei was mine. I got to the train's door and opening the dining carriage door for Mei to walk ahead of me, her tail tickling my hand as she passed me.

She found a spare booth and jumped on the chairs before settling herself on the table, her paws overhanging as her tail curled around her. I sat to her right and she put her head down on my hands, as if seeking comfort. I ran my left hand through her fur, feeling the coarseness of it.

"You'll need a trim when we get off at London," I said as I looked to her nails, "and these need to be clipped."

She purred at this and I returned to rubbing her head gently. I was so distracted by her that I didn't notice that someone was sitting opposite me. His hair was almost as white as mine, and snakes curled around him. They curled away from Mei, who had turned to glare at them, licking her lips.

"Hi Snake," I said when I noticed the man.

"Angel, it is nice to see you," he replied, "says Emily."

"It has been a while, says Wilde."

I nodded and looked down the carriage, seeing the other first tiers were standing there. I spotted Crimson by the drinks counter with Opal, the latter's black hair cut short. It had some white shooting through it, announcing his age to the world. But he didn't seem to care, or he was too drunk to notice.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Joker called out, "this is our first meeting in regard to our new show in London!"

"Did it really have to be London?" Doll asked.

"Father wishes to see us perform this time," Joker replied, and the room grew quiet.

Father was a man named Lord Kelvin. He owned the circus we worked for, and earned money as an aside. He didn't come to our shows often, preferring to stay at home since his surgery. That was why he often sent Doc to see us, until he had turned into our circus physician. Now we only received letters from Father, with Joker finding out about the show, and I found out about the finances he was allowing us to use. He lived in London, now that I thought about it.

"Are you sure he'll show, asks Dorian," Snake asked Joker.

"I'm certain he'll be there!" he called out, a smile on his face.

"Is this about the acts again? Are you reorganising them?" Beast asked from her seat by the window.

"No, everyone is perfect the way they are!" Joker replied as he took out his cane and shook it, revealing flowers which he presented to Beast. She sighed and took them from him, holding them to her chest for a moment.

"This meeting is to tell 'ee all that we are nearly in London," he said, "now, if 'ee has a concern in regards to the tents, I'll give the floor to Angel. Angel?"

I stood slowly, Mei watching me in case she needed to knock my legs back, and took a deep breath.

"I have a map drawn up of the campsite, so come to me when we arrive and I'll tell you where you'll be staying. Until they are fully prepared, we will be staying in the performance tent. You will also be given your pocket money on Wednesday, so make sure to see me then. You can ask about roommates when you see the map."

"Thanks Angel," Joker said and he in turn took out a small piece of paper, "now, onto the parade. The circus will open in one week. We had a few problems in relation to permits but Father sorted them out once we were on the train. The tents should be ready by Thursday so be prepared to move your things in then. Now, we need some volunteers. The first tiers will be in the parade, but we need a few of the other tiers to pass out gifts to possible costumers.

"Now, Doll, 'ee will be on the elephant with Beast. There will also be two horses which I am giving to Peter and Wendy. These horses will be pulling a cage with Betty in it. Dagger, 'ee will be to the right of Betty showing your daggers off to the crowd as we walk. Jumbo will be ahead of 'ee, breathing fire for the people. Snake, 'ee will be to the left of Betty, followed by some of the other volunteers."

He looked up at me and gave me a warm smile, and I returned one.

"Angel will be near Jumbo, and if 'ee can control Mei, she can be with 'ee. Perhaps do a routine with the tiger. I will be in front of Doll, calling out to the crowd. But…I don't want to be the only one speaking. Angel, once 'ee is done with your routine, perhaps you can speak to the crowd as well."

I nodded and he returned to planning. This was the first time I had been saying anything to the crowd, and it made my heart flutter slightly. It was exciting, to be getting a bigger role in the parade. Crimson offered to throw beads to the crowd as Opal offered to help him. A girl named Eliza offered to walk on stilts as a man named Kermit offered to walk with her. Once it was all decided, Joker put the map away and looked out the window. It had changed in the last hour, from green pastures to buildings and streets. Carriages had replaced rickshaws and smoke billowed in the skies.

"Welcome to London, everyone," Joker called out with a booming voice.

So I was home after four years. I only hoped...this show went as well as the last one...

Hi everyone, hope you enjoyed the first chapter. The next chapter will be up soon :) Feel free to PM me if you have any questions and please leave a review to let me know what you think :) The next chapter will be up soon so talk to you all then :) XD