Day 1 – Wander

Even as Natsu wanders, he can't seem to stop remembering Lucy. Set between chapters 416 and 418 during the one year time-skip.

As thickheaded as Natsu is, he knows that wandering off by himself for a year isn't going to be very welcome news for most of the guild (except maybe Gray, that stripper). And as such, he also knows that Lucy is going to lose it if he disappears without a trace.

It's the reason why she's the only one that gets his will (a note, Happy says, they left a note, not a will) and she's the only one he tells what he's doing, even if it's only through a slip of paper. He isn't quite sure himself why he feels as if he can't go without leaving something for Lucy – apart from the fact that she's going to break down if someone else from her life disappears to where she can't reach (he tries to ignore that – note or no note – he will be gone just as suddenly as her parents and that he'll be going somewhere she can't reach, too). And as badly as he feels about that, he expected that to be it. No Lucy, no thinking about notes that aren't enough, just wondering about where he'll go next and what he'll eat next.

Maybe it's proof to his way of not thinking everything through when it doesn't just stop like that. Wherever he goes, whatever he does, he's always thinking about Lucy and the way she looked when her father died. Does she look like that now, too? If yes … is it his fault? It's alright, he tries to convince himself, it's not like he's dead. And he left a will (a note, Happy says). She knows what he's out there to do and that's enough. It should be. But maybe it isn't.

It gets worse when the first months are over. He's stopped turning around for Lucy to show her something awesome he's found – he knows she isn't there. But even if he knows that, it doesn't stop everything around him from reminding him of her. Sometimes he wants to scream and destroy a whole forest, monsters and all. Sometimes he remembers the way she cries and wants to return on the spot. He stops himself from actually doing it, but it doesn't change that the thought is there, that there are times when he wants to return so badly that it almost hurts. But he's here for a reason, he has to get stronger for all the people he couldn't save (Lisanna, Future Lucy, Igneel, Lucy, Igneel, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy). He can't lose someone precious again.

There's only the assurance that she can do missions with Erza – or Wendy – or even the stupid ice princess with his stupid stalker. They'll protect her and when he returns, it will be like nothing has ever happened. Except that he won't have to rely on anyone else to protect the people precious to him (he can protect her). And then, maybe, the bad things will stop happening – no one will have to die again because he couldn't protect them.

It's easier when he's training – which is most of the time, so that's good. He doesn't think he could stay away from home much longer if the training didn't remind him of why he's here again and again (somehow, he wonders when home became Lucy's apartment instead of the little shack he and Happy built). When he's training, he doesn't think of her smile or her tears or the face she might be making right now. Still, there are some times when he thinks that he'd have more fun if she was fighting by his side. It's his own fault for leaving her behind, so he tries not to think about it too much, but sometimes he feels something that's too close to regret for it to be comfortable.

He once makes the mistake of mentioning it to Happy – the only answer he gets is a mischievous grin and an exaggerated "You liiiiike her!", which is ridiculous, because, sure, he likes Lucy, but there's no way he likes her that much (his mind disagrees, finding her face in too many memories and dreams and wishes, but Natsu is stubborn and something like love isn't necessary right now). Happy continues to tease him for the next week and as much as Natsu loves his little buddy, those comments are annoying. He thinks he knows why Lucy always gets so mad at them now.

Happy stops teasing him after Natsu finally snaps at the end of seven long days and too much thinking about Lucy. Happy doesn't mention the subject at all again, beside a small and surprisingly solemn "You know I'm right." before the blue cat decides that it's enough and that Charla is something much better to talk about. Ironically, Happy's silence when something concerning Lucy comes up makes Natsu think even more about it (there's no way Happy is right – but maybe …).

The year doesn't fly by as fast as he hoped (it's interrupted by the times when he stops and sees her face in his mind) but somehow, he's finally reached the other side of a one year span and making his way to the Grand Magic Games. If Fairy Tail isn't going to participate this year (what's the matter, are they still rebuilding the guild hall?), he's going to win over the other guilds for them. As a little homecoming gift maybe, to apologize for leaving so suddenly (and maybe Lucy will see why he left – why it was necessary).

The feeling he has when he sends the whole arena into a burning inferno is exhilarating – and yet, it can't beat the moment when he sees Lucy's face among the people (the real one this time) and she hesitantly smiles back at him when he calls out to her. He's back again. She's there again.

He's home again.