"Inside Out," he began, "is an unforgettable movie, certainly. It touches the human mind on such a basic, intimate, fundamental level that it is already positioned to leave an impression on its audience. The average moviegoer will not leave the theater unchanged (even if the change is slight, nearly microscopic). This is because Inside Out is a film that provides introspection, or - at the very least - encourages it."

Fear twitched slightly at that, and Joy furrowed his brows in confusion. But the glowing emotion said nothing, so Disgust continued.

"I wish I could say it was flawless."

Joy nodded his head subtly. 'Okay,' he thought, 'Here comes the rant...' He groaned on the inside.

"I wish I could say that it had not a scratch on its surface." A chuckle came from Anger. "The animation is gorgeously rendered. The art style is phenomenal. The actors and actresses were all excellent. The plot was engaging, and the movie lends itself to emotional investment. But it's not perfect. Actually, I frequently found myself annoyed, irritated even. There were a plethora of groan-inducing moments."

Joy breathed in, and breathed out, and forced himself to shut his mouth.

"Bing Bong immediately comes to mind. I disliked that talkative pink elephant from the moment I laid eyes on him to the last wisp of him we saw. Yes, his death did impact the movie, and it impacted me. That doesn't change the fact that I found Bing Bong to be an irritating chatterbox. More times than not, I was yearning for him to shut up, to just shut up for five seconds. I'd tell you how often I wished the writers would have refrained from adding extra lines to a perfectly fine scene, but I'd lose count."

'Don't say a word. Don't say a word,' Joy kept thinking to himself. Faintly, he heard Anger whisper, "Amen," to Disgust's speech. The usually so happy emotion gritted his teeth and forced himself to smile as the green speaker kept talking.

"It's not just Bing Bong," Disgust said, "For every joke I laughed at, for every hilarious moment that at least made me chuckle (and there were plenty), there was a moment that ran on too long."

Joy repressed a scoff. If Disgust laughed so much, then he certainly missed it.

"When Bing Bong had vanished forever, the scene would have been perfect..." Disgust sighed, slouching his shoulders, "Were it not for the the ham-fisted, cheesy, forced line about taking Riley to the moon for him." He looked up, then looked Sadness in the eyes. Just as quickly, he looked over at Joy, then seemed to answer the protest that was itching the yellow feeling's tongue. "I do understand that's part of his character's fixation, and that that's where he was left off by Riley: planning to go to the moon. But quite frankly, I wasn't moved to tears. I was struck, of course, with the scene's poignancy, but that one last line was all it took to kill the mood for me (and our host, I might add). It took what would've otherwise been a breathtakingly emotional scene and ended it on the sappiest of notes. I won't disguise my contempt for that one tiny line."

He paused, as if surveying his peers to see if they were still with him, before saying, "Joy is another major offender."

Joy moved to protest before he felt Anger grab him and harshly mutter, "Riley's Joy, duh."

"Oh... oh, okay," the Film Geek's Joy replied.

Disgust continued, "Apart from her glaringly bright personality, she - too - was quite talkative. Now, I get that that's part of her character, that that's who she is... that doesn't make her less annoying to me. Her mouth just seemed to want to make its presence known a bit too frequently, a bit too much, and dialogue of hers ran on longer than needed far too often. Case in point: As she, Sadness, and Bing Bong were running from the allegedly horrifying Jangles, that glowstick turned to Sadness and said, 'Nothing like a good scare to wake you up!' I just... I-" Disgust rolled his eyes and groaned. "It irked me, okay?

"The scene's flow and pacing was good up until that point, but that one line was like a loose shoelace, and it made our host's moviegoing experience stumble a bit. To the writers, if they were listening to me, I'd say, 'I don't know if you know, but you've made the plan to scare Riley awake very abundantly clear. You've firmly established that. Trust me, your audience does not consist of goldfish. Believe it or not, we understood what was happening through Joy's actions alone.'"

A faint smile crept up Disgust's face.

"I think that sums up my complaints: actions can so frequently speak louder than words, but it felt as though the writers half-missed this."

"Even Sadness, who - bless her - seemed to be our host's favorite or second favorite emotion in the movie, had one scene where I was mentally begging the screenwriters to magically transcend time and space, and rewrite the scene so that she (and Joy and Bing Bong, but mostly Sadness) would stop talking."

Disgust bitterly chuckled at that, and his eyes flickered over to Joy before looking back down at his paper.

"I'm referring - of course - to the 'Abstract Thought' sequence. The chaos on screen and the accompanying music was already assaulting my senses, giving me the appropriate sense of confusion and urgency, but Sadness's expositional yammering pushed it too far, and I became annoyed - really annoyed."

A nervous titter escaped Fear's mouth.

"Where would the harm have been in cutting back-and-forth between the inside of the Abstract Thought machine (where the trio were being processed) and the outside (where one could easily have the mind workers commenting to eachother about what was going on, or - better yet - have a computer screen explaining it all as it occurred)? I don't know, and - while I don't know the precise solution to my annoyance in that scene - It certainly could have been better with less talking."

Joy sighed in frustration. 'Just give it up,' he thought to himself, casting a forlorn glance at the lighbulbs, 'He'd never agree to it. Not in a million years.'

Disgust either didn't notice or didn't care. "By the by, another complaint: the film's exposition was spot-on at times, nailing things and explaining concepts to the audience perfectly. At other times, though, it either missed the mark, clumsily fumbled it, or broke the 'show don't tell' rule (I'm looking at you, scene where Disgust commented during the hockey tryout and said 'It's like we don't learn anything.' Thanks for the confusing line)."

And with that, Disgust set the paper down...

...and picked another one up. He cleared his throat and continued, Joy bracing himself for more petty complaints.

"I know it may seem like my grievances were huge, nitpicky, and endless. I know they seem to paint me in the light of one who loathes the film, despises it even, and - before you ask - the answer is, 'Yes, I do have many more complaints I'd love to be able to talk about.'"

Joy's mouth opened incredulously. Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. Was Disgust really about to find even more flaws to point out? For crying out loud! It's not as if perfection is what is needed in a movie!

But his next sentence shut down Joy's fears immediately.

"The fact remains that the other annoyances I have are either nitpicks that affect nothing or that they were already covered under those first four complaints. There wasn't a single flaw I found, for example, in regards to the animation."

Joy found himself holding his breath in anticipation, now entirely eager to hear more of what Disgust had to say.

"Yes, let's bring that up again. Pixar has exceeded themselves with this one. I mean it." Normally, that would've been a statement drenched in sarcasm, but Disgust's eyes betrayed his sincerity. He began pacing, dropping the paper entirely. "Oh, sure, they've had well-made movies in the past, and - sure - the animation on some of their other films, such as Toy Story 3, was decidedly awesome..." he shrugged. "But Inside Out?" he scoffed happily (Joy didn't think it possible) "Inside Out has to take the cake. It is - hands down - lightyears ahead of Pixar's other films in terms of eye candy and visual appeal."

Disgust got more animated as he continued, and began listing off the things that were technically sound about the movie's visuals. "From the colorful, vibrant HQ, to the eye-hooking subconscious halls, to the clever visual gags in Imagination Land, to (perhaps my favorite) the gorgeous, almost sacred-feeling darkness of the Memory Dump." He stopped his gushing momentarily to stare past his peers and out the window, far down into their own black memory dump below. "The sight of all those discarded memory orbs was breathtaking, especially when one or two would light up before vanishing into dust." He shook his head, and came back to reality, but his feet kept pacing. "And, as Joy looked down into the Memory Dump to watch Bing Bong's death, the lighting was nothing short of some of Pixar's best work. I hope they paid the art directors well, because whoever they are, they've more than earned their paychecks."

"Heck yes!" Joy felt like screaming, followed by giving Disgust a big high five. But he simply grinned and remained seated, trembling with unlooked-for eagerness.

"It's also fairly ironic," Disgust said to Joy, "That what might be one of Pixar's most imaginative films is also its most down-to-earth movie so far. Riley's struggles were real, relatable, and meaningful."

"Exactly!" Sadness chimed in, "That's why we didn't cry over Bing Bong's death, but we did tear up when Riley cried in class."

"Yes! Yes!" Disgust said, pointing at Sadness, "That's what I'm saying, precisely! The fact that it wasn't a story of superheros and supervillains, or talking toys, or a fish on a quest to find his son made it much more visceral, real, and impactful. Guys..." he continued, "I felt for Riley, more than I did for the emotions. I felt more attached and invested in what happened to Riley than I did anyone else, and that is most certainly what you want in a main character. I would venture to say that she is the Pixar character I've cared the most about during the course of her film. I didn't even feel as attached to Andy's toys as they approached the incinerator in Toy Story 3. No, I didn't. We didn't. Our host didn't. But with Riley (and correct me if I'm wrong, Fear), our host was on the edge of his seat with worry, because that could be anyone."

"Ye-" Fear began.

"Riley could be any little kid we know, going through that!"

"Yes, ex-"

"She could be any of our friends (albeit way younger than them)! She could have been our little sister!"

"Exact-"

"Heck, in spite of the fact that our host is a twenty-something grown man, I can say for certain that she could have been him, the way we were feeling about things... the danger we felt for her... the worry, the emotional connection..."

Fear paused, to make sure Disgust was done, before saying, "Yes! You're absolutely right. I felt wayyy more tension when Riley was running away or going through troubles than when her emotions were in peril."

"When she was depressed about the move, I was, too," Sadness spoke up.

"When she was upset enough to run away," Anger added, "I felt her, I knew exactly where she was coming from... but I was also screaming on the inside, begging her to stop!"

"When she was reunited with her parents, I could feel that group hug through the screen," Joy mumbled, nodding.

"Well spoken," Disgust said, "I think, for me, the most poignant moment... I think it was when she was crying in class. I remember that happening a handful of times to us (sometimes for more trivial reasons than others, admittedly), and that scene stung the most."

"I-I-I wanted to hug her and tell her it would be alright..." Sadness stuttered. His eyes glistened as he remembered the scene.

"Yes," Disgust said. "Pixar did good with making me care about the main character. Very good."

He paused and considered his next words carefully.

"I think there's nothing else for me to speak about. I had plenty of little things I enjoyed, too (Riley's dad not being a stereotypical Hollywood bumbler, Bing Bong's witty "I look like a lot of people" line (which somehow left us as the only audience member laughing), Sadness's little looks she gave to the Imaginary Boyfriend and Tragic Vampire Romance Island or whatever the heck it was called...), but I believe to go into detail with them would be repetitive and pointless, so I'll leave my review here:

"Inside Out was fantastic. I loved it. Was it annoying at times? Absolutely. Was it witty at others? Without a doubt. But you know what? There's something to be said for your skill as a filmmaker if the only complaints I have are small little inconsequential nitpicks, things that - subjective or not - do not affect much in terms of plot.

"Thank you."

Scattered clapping briefly echoed off HQ's walls as Disgust took his seat again. Then all was silent, save the low hum of the car engine as they drove on their way home. Nobody spoke a word. The emotions all quietly introspected, reflecting on what had happened in the past few hours. The mindworkers came and went, fixing the elevator and replacing the green memories, but not a word came from the emotions' mouths.

Eventually, as the minutes ticked by, Disgust felt inclined to speak.

"Joy..." he said, "What was it, by the way? What were you wanting to say?"

Joy froze up. He looked to see the others staring at him, all eyes inquisitive and full of curiosity. He nervously began stuttering some sort of excuse, but Disgust's unbelieving, arched eyebrow shut that down. Joy sighed, giving in. He quickly whispered something under his breath.

"What was that?" Sadness said, "Sorry, man, I didn't hear you..."

"I said... I-I said..." Joy took a deep breath, then, as he sighed, rapidly shot out, "wecouldwriteafanficreviewasawayofreviewingit."

Again, all was quiet.

"You wanna slow down there, motormouth?" Anger asked.

Joy gulped, then looked over to the ideas.

He hesitated, then stood, feeling exposed and naked. He slowly walked over and grabbed one of the ideas from the shelf.

He spun around and chucked it at Disgust, who barely caught it. The green emotion looked into the bulb and asked, "Joy, is this..."

Joy nodded, "Yeah. I know, I know, it's stupid. We'd be stooping down to the level of... of..." he gestured with his hands, unsure of how to articulate his feelings, then just gave up with another sigh.

"What is it?" Fear asked inquisitively.

"Fanfiction," said Disgust, not taking his eyes off the lightbulb. Ignoring a scandalized gasp of horror from Fear, he locked gazes with Joy, "You want us to write a fanfic review... right?"

Joy nodded.

"But not just any fanfic... You want to write one starring us..." Disgust began tossing the lightbulb back and forth, as if weighing its contents.

Again, Joy nodded.

"In spite of how much we hate self-inserts, most OC's, and almost all fanfiction we find..."

Once more, Joy nodded. "Yes," he said, "Yeah, that's the gist of it."

Disgust looked around at the others, then back to Joy. Joy's eyes were worried, anticipating the rebuke that was sure to come. But it didn't, and Joy's face changed to surprise. In one fluid motion, Disgust put the lightbulb into the console and smiled faintly.