Disclaimer: I don't own The 100

A/N: Just something I've been working on the last day. I should have the second part up within the next two days. I only have a few scenes left, but I'm tired (read: sorry for any typos) and wanted to work on fleshing them out as much as possible. So this is going to be two parts.
Anyway.
This was more of an exercise for me because I've been in a rut lately. Please let me know what you think! :)
Enjoy! X

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It's strange – knowing what your soulmate's last Words to you are going to be. For some it's a terrifying thought. They can even go to extremes once they find their soulmate and beg them never to say those Words. For others it can bring a sense of peace or comfort. These people, however, usually know that – however their soulmate says goodbye to them – it is in a peaceful way.

For these people, the last Words are typically words of love.

Not everyone finds out their parting Words in the same way. They can appear as a tattoo, a whisper, or in a dream. Each variation showing itself in a way that reflects their owners. Each Word mirroring the soul in which they come from.

You're almost eighteen years old, and you have yet to learn your Words.

As each year passed a part of you began to panic more and more. Your mom used to reassure you, her steady hands cupping your face while your dad joked about how maybe they're immortal. Whenever you would talk to Wells about it, he would always get this funny look on his face, almost… guilty. Like he knew a secret that he could never tell you.

But no matter what anyone said to you, you slowly became convinced that you just didn't have a soulmate. That you were unworthy of love.

Sure, you've had crushes and small flings here and there. But it's never been anything that took your breath away. It was never something that made you feel like you were floating… Both figuratively and literally.

You tried your best to keep your head up, though. You were just a teenager and even though the Ark was only one ship, it was still kind of huge. You probably just hadn't met them yet.

There was still time.

But then you found out about your father's plans and suddenly he's being floated and you're locked up in solitary waiting for the day you turn eighteen and join your father in the deep, dark depths of space.

You felt your heart sink the moment the cell door closed, locking you away – away from what was left of your family, your friends, and any possibility of finding your soulmate. But you also, in a very tiny part of your heart, felt relieved. Because you were right about not having a soulmate. Which meant you wouldn't have to know their last Words. You wouldn't be breaking anyone's heart when they would move you to another sealed off room and opened the doors on you.

You wouldn't be leaving anyone behind.

Of course you would miss your mom. You already miss your dad.

(You work hard every day to forgive Wells and his father.)

(It seems almost impossible.)

But they would all be able to move on. They would be able to work hard to save the Ark; to save its people.

You've already guessed what your last words will be – saying goodbye to your mom and telling her you love her. You'd probably pass along your dad's watch to her as well. As a reminder of the two parts of her world that drifted away, and most importantly, that there wasn't a lot of time left to save everyone else who was still clinging to the Ark.

While you drew in your cell waiting out the rest of your days, the only regret you realize that you have is never being able to go to Earth. You know it's ridiculous and that no one would be able to go to the ground for another hundred years or so (you pray the Ark survives that long), but, still…

You would have given anything to have the chance to go exploring. To be able to breathe in real air, to go swimming, to see animals, to feel the sun. And, who knows, maybe your soulmate was down there already, impatiently waiting for you to come down from the stars and join them.

So when all of a sudden guards are bursting into your cell and your mom is telling you that you're getting your chance – you're going to Earth – you feel your heart almost explode in your chest. Because this is it. This is your second shot at finding your universe in this world.

.

When you wake up on the dropship and see Wells next to you, you feel your blood boil.

Because of course.

You contemplate unbuckling from your seat because, for just once, you want to know what it feels like to be weightless.

But you don't.

(You think that pretty much sums up your life up until this point)

.

Later, even though you feel venom crawl up your throat every time you look at Wells, a small part of you is grateful he's here with you. (Because holy shit you're on Earth!) Even though they're all teenage criminals like you, they still need a leader – a voice of reason. And no matter how much you hate him for killing your father, Wells has always been extremely logical and diplomatic.

(Plus in a world that is so alien to you, it's nice having a familiar face.)

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After the initial hectic moments that followed immediately after landing, you snuck off into the trees (real trees!) to explore a little bit.

Never in your wildest dreams would you have ever thought of anything as amazing as this. The air is so must sweeter and more pure than you would have guessed. And the feel of rough bark under your fingers and the almost glossy grass between your toes has you gasping with wonder.

There's so much to take in you have to close your eyes and spin in circles because you have goosebumps on your arms and you don't remember the last time you've been this happy before.

(You think of the sound of your dad's laugh.)

(You remember the feel of a hug from your mom.)

The only things you hear are the distant sounds of kids laughing and what you guess is a stream at the bottom of the hill you're on. There's no humming of machines around you or the sounds of feet rushing around, stomping on metal floors.

Earth, you've come to find, has its own symphony that has tears collecting in the corners of your eyes.

You're sitting at the base of a tree when you hear it.

The wind is whispering through the trees and you swear it's someone trying to talk to you.

You realize that you should probably feel slightly panicked – or at least alarmed. You're new to this planet; you have literally no idea what is here. Friend or foe, you wouldn't know.

But the wind is talking to you and all you feel is safe. Like you're meant to be here. Like this is your fate. Like your universe is here.

And you realize that it is.

The wind is talking to you and suddenly you know what you're about to hear.

The Words.

You're excited and nervous and your heart is thumping away in your chest. You hope they're peaceful words but you're on the ground now and you don't know what's in store. You hold your breath until the whisperings are clear enough to decipher them.

"Home… Home… I swear… I will… Home… I will come home… I will… I swear it…"

The words are flying all around you and in between the treetops. It sounds like a thousand different voices are saying them over and over, their whispers wrapping around you.

"I will come home… I swear it…"

And then it's done and the only thing you hear are ninety-six teenagers whooping and cheering.

You're not sure how you should feel, but you need to figure out where you are and how to get to the supplies you and your people will desperately need. So you file it away to the back of your mind until your next moment of peace.

(You pray it won't be too long before then.)

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You're on the trip to Mount Weather when you start thinking about the Words again and who they could belong to. Considering there's only you and ninety-eight other people on Earth, you figured they came down on the dropship with you.

So far there are only maybe three people you could see possibly being your soulmate.

First there's Finn – looking past the fact that he can be a bit of an ass and calls you princess literally all of the time, he's not that bad of a guy. He can actually be kind of sweet at times. Plus you can even picture him saying those words with an open smile and that certain weightlessness only he can achieve. You figure the name Space Walker is appropriate for him.

Then there's Octavia – her wild spirit caught your attention right away. The girl who lived under the floor was the first person to walk on Earth again. She is happy and free and curious but you know there is so much more to her than what meets the eye. When you spend your entire life hiding your existence, it becomes second nature to hide parts of you. You imagine her saying those Words with a slanted smile, a faux seriousness, and a roll of her eyes.

Lastly there's Monty. You don't actually think you could ever be in love with him, but just because he could be your soulmate doesn't mean it has to be romantic. He's incredibly smart and even more kind and loyal. You hear him stating those Words and imagine him trying with all of him to follow through.

You watch Jasper swinging on a rope to the other side of the river and then he lands and you realize that this is your universe. Down here on the ground anything is possible. You're laughing and smiling and you're surrounded by people you could love and call your own and anything is possible. It feels like tiny bubbles are filling you up and they're going to lift your feet off the ground.

But then there's a spear through Jasper's heart and you feel yours racing away. The bubbles have all popped and your universe has stopped spinning. Fear is ice in your veins when you realize what this means.

"We're not alone."

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When you find out that Wells has been lying to you about your dad, you feel everything, from your insides to the trees around you, begin to shift. You cry and beg him to forgive you and you're just so sorry. He holds you tight and lets you cry. You feel him crying with you.

The world, you're finding, is a scary and cruel place.

But you have your best friend back and breathing comes a little bit easier.

You think, as his safe arms are wrapped around you, that maybe it's Wells. It would make sense; he has always been your best friend, he has always been the one to understand you the most. It's always been easy with Wells.

You think that, having Wells as your soulmate, wouldn't be that terrible.

You both part after what seems like years, the broken pieces of your heart slowly mending themselves.

You're going to be okay.

You have Wells again.

You're going to be okay.

You whisper to him to have sweet dreams and you see his breath hitch. He stares at you like he's going to lose you, but you make a silent promise to stars that you'll never leave him again.

Blinking, Wells whispers back, and the only ones that hear it are you and the trees.

"Sweet dreams… Better days are coming, Clarke. I promise."

And with a smile you turn away for your makeshift bed for the night.

You miss the way he stares at you until he can't see you anymore.

You miss the way he sits back down on the hill, watching as the stars appear and then eventually fade away like distant memories.

You miss the way he dies alone on the ground.

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You start allowing yourself to believe that Finn really could be the one you've been looking for. He makes you feel alive again. He makes you feel like anything is possible. He makes you feel like smiling and laughing again. He makes you feel.

So you let him whisper on your skin like the wind through the trees.

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But then Raven fell from the sky and she's kissing Finn and so you take that universe you've been dreaming of and put it in a box. You put it in a box and give it back because you realize it was never yours to begin with.

You ignore the stone in your gut and continue on.

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Grounders, you're coming to find, are very beautifully terrifying people. You're entranced by them, yet you also don't know what to make of them. The Grounder that had Octavia – Lincoln – was quiet. You didn't want to hurt him but Finn was dying. You studied Lincoln and you felt your stomach give way because just this one man could probably eradicate your entire camp.

You fear what an army could do.

And then you met Anya. Her piercing gaze tore right through you. You had swallowed your fear and dropped your hand and worked as hard as you could to create peace.

You thought of Wells and had wished he'd been with you on that bridge.

But then Jasper is shooting his gun and arrows are flying and all you can do is run. Lincoln jumps in front of an arrow and it pretty much solidifies him as a part of your people now. Despite him coming from a different home, he is a good man. A kind man who is loyal to the end. It makes you hopeful that the Grounders truly are a kind and loyal people.

(Although you also fear that it's the loyal part that's going to get you all killed.)

But you work on Lincoln's wound and you don't miss the way he and Octavia look at each other.

You feel happy for them that they found one another. The quiet Grounder with kindness tattooed on his skin and the girl who chases butterflies and has the heart of a warrior.

It makes you really start to believe your soulmate is out there somewhere.

Anything is possible.

.

You felt the flames lick at your skin, searing it off, burning it, and scarring you forever so you never forget what you did here today. But then the dropship door is opening and everyone is gone. Bones crunch under your boots and you look at what you've done.

Look at what you've done.

You don't know where Finn or Bellamy are. You can't think about the most likely possibility.

You want to drop to your knees and cry because this is not what you wanted. You had believed that Earth would bring you a chance at a new life and hope. But instead, death follows you. It whispers through the trees and it reminds you that anything is possible.

Even the nightmares.

(You are the nightmares.)

(You are the monster.)

They're all gone.

But then there is pink smoke and your mind is gone as well.

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Mount Weather both reminds you of the Ark and makes your skin crawl at the same time. Because you've tasted what the outside world feels like. You've felt the wind and sun on your skin. You have broken branches and bones under your boots but you know the concrete walls wouldn't crack.

It's too good to be true.

You haven't been on the ground for long, but you have learned that whenever you think you are running free, there is always a cliff hidden from sight waiting for you.

You are terrified to find out what the cliff is this time.

You refuse to trust anyone. You want to be able to let go of your worries and be carefree like Jasper.

But you can't.

And then suddenly you find that cliff and you feel yourself falling.

They're stealing the Grounder's blood and it horrifies you. You manage to escape with Anya only to have to keep fighting until the final moments.

You find it ironic how the people you would give your life up to save almost kill you.

"Ai gonplei ste odon."

The promise of peace dies with Anya and that universe you're searching for keeps drifting farther and farther out of your reach.

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You're not sure what to expect when you meet the Grounders' commander. All you can do is steel yourself for the worst.

But then you're walking into their tent and you see her sitting on her throne, twirling her dagger, and you feel everything inside you suddenly flip upside down. You're surprised you're still on your feet because it feels like you're made out of millions of stars and they're all spinning. But then it stops just as sudden as when it started and you're both just looking at each other.

Well that was new.

It isn't until later when you're leaving her tent that you put the pieces together.

"… Shit."

But you can't think about it for too long because you have a world to save.

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Your knife slips easily into Finn. A part of you finds it fitting that you once had a pull a knife from his chest to save him, and now you're putting it back to save him again. But the larger part of you is silently screaming in pain because your people are dying and no matter what you do, you can't seem to stop it.

Your universe burns a little less bright.

You pray that one day Raven can forgive you.

You pray that one day you can forgive yourself.

You give up on praying.

.

The peace between your people and the Trikru is shaky at best. There are many people on both sides who oppose it, but Lexa refuses to budge. She reinforces her position as commander – as heda – and her people back down.

For the most part, at least.

You're on the ground staring up at a brute of a man who has his fist raised about to stab you. You're going to die.

But then there's a knife sticking out of his wrist and Lexa is there. Lexa is there and she saved you.

"Attack her, and you attack me." It's said in their language so you're not quite sure what Lexa told him, but the fire in her eyes and the steel in her voice is a pretty good indicated to what it was.

Just when you think this weird day is over, there's suddenly a terrible roar coming from behind you. You can't even begin to imagine what it is but Lexa looks terrified and that's enough for you to start making peace with death.

But of course it wouldn't be that easy.

Lexa cuts Quint's leg and takes off running with you and her remaining guard behind you.

You've ran out of room to run and then the monster is here and it's a fucking mutant gorilla and it's playing with Lexa's guard like he's a toy.

You both jump and the sound that comes from Lexa's arm sends terrified chills down your spine. You're almost to safety when Lexa screams. She's being dragged away from you and you can't breathe so you empty your gun at the beast and try not to pass out.

You can't lose her.

Not yet.

And you don't.

You're locked away in a cage and it's the first time you two are truly alone. You're tying on a makeshift sling and you're so close to her you're dizzy. She smells like rain and there are faint highlights in her hair that you never noticed. She's beautiful. Beautiful and fierce and alive.

You tell her that you need her to stay alive. For the treaty, of course.

(It's scary to think of the other reason because this is all so new and real and terrifying and you've never felt more excited to be alive.)

And that's when she tells you about the reincarnation. She spoke about how her soul will always be finding a new home.

(Those words are so close your heart skips a beat.)

You think it's beautiful. You think Grounder culture is beautiful (except for the whole torturing thing. But you also have to remind yourself that any law broken on the Ark was punishable by death).

The moment is silent and still and you find yourself staring at her lips until there's a sudden crash at the cage's door.

The gorilla is back and you tell Lexa that she isn't dying today. You tell her that you need her soul to stay right where it is.

(You tell her you need her.)

(You tell her you can't lose her.)

(You tell her that she's your universe and it just started spinning and the stars are so bright and you can't lose that warmth just yet.)

So together you both manage to escape the cage and lock the beast inside.

You're so happy you feel like dancing.

So you do.

Lexa laughs at you until you're trying to convince her to join you. She does only for a moment before her shoulder hurts too much, but it's just long enough to leave you floating.

.

You wake up with a start to the beast roaring in the distance.

Lexa tells you that you are safe.

You believe her.