Author's note: end quote is Edna St. Vincent Millay.

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1.

Sleep was a welcome respite in the wasteland. After each mission, the world would send him back to that desolate landscape, and EMIYA would stagger toward the nearest patch of empty ground not already covered by one of his many, many weapons. He would pass out into unconsciousness while he recuperates: sometimes he will be lucky and he will appear next to one of the few sparse, dead trees, and he will lean his back against the knotted trunk and close his eyes.

It always takes a moment for EMIYA to get his bearings after he wakes. His mind will sluggishly crawl to consciousness, and he will become dimly aware of the cold air and the hard ground beneath him. Pushing himself upright, he will readjust his cloak and squint his eyes, taking a moment to feel the numbing chill of the cold wind against his tired body. The world will restore him then, and it will be as if he was never covered with dirt and sweat and old, dried blood.

It's different this time when he wakes. There is softness and a feeling of warmth, and it takes a moment for his mind to orient itself. He is not in the wasteland. Rin is curled up against him, and her small body is backlit with yellow sunlight.

There is a lank piece of hair falling over her eyes, and EMIYA quietly reaches over to brush it back, letting his fingers brush lightly against the skin of her temple.

"Shirou I'm sleeping," Rin says, annoyed at him. She bats his hand away and burrows into a pillow.

EMIYA smiles to himself. He has a memory of traveling with her in the desert. He would try to hold her and she would whine that it was too hot, his skin was too sticky, and dammit, Shirou, can't you just not spoon me for once, you're such a freaking girl. Even their last night together, the night before he got captured, Rin was loudly complaining that it was hot and that he slept too close, and that they needed a bigger bed. Neither of them knew he would be captured, that he would be hanged and that Rin would spend the next night sobbing into his pillowcase. It would be one of her biggest regrets, she told him: that she hadn't hugged him or made love to him that last night. ("You couldn't have known," EMIYA said.

"But I did know! You told me it would happen."

"It was hot," EMIYA reminded her.)

Now Rin squints her eyes and rolls away from him. "Stoooop," she says.

"Stop what?" EMIYA says.

"Stop staring at me, I'm trying to sleep."

He smiles and kisses the back of her neck. It is oddly comforting, knowing that Rin is taking his presence for granted. For all they knew, her summoning could end and the world could keep him in the wasteland. That she would loudly whine and complain that he was spooning her too much suggested a sort of permanence of their situation: she isn't worried about losing him. It makes him feel more at ease.

He dresses; walks around their kitchen, makes tea and breakfast. Wraps his hands around a cup and sits by an open window. The clock ticks and he finds that he misses her, so he goes up the stairs to see if she's finally awake.

She isn't. He lingers at the edge of the doorway for a moment, before quietly shutting the door.

xXx

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Rin wakes, and isn't entirely surprised to find the space in the bed next to hers is empty. She has a vague memory of him waking her up by kissing the back of her neck; she yelled at him to stop being annoying and pushed him out of the bed. I need to stop doing that, Rin thinks. She would hate for him to be summoned and the last thing he remembers is her yelling at him to let her sleep.

"Shirou?" She glances around. "Are you here?"

She's never really sure if he's been summoned again, not until she goes downstairs to see him cleaning or cooking or doing all the mundane domestic stuff she always ignored. She walks around the room, frowning and rubbing her arms, until she glances behind her and sees his cloak still slung over the back of the chair.

Oh. Well he has to be here if he's left his cloak. Rin pads over and looks at his guardian's clothes folded neatly on the dresser.

She picks up the cloak, frowning a little. The cloth is worn and frayed and there are what looks like old blood stains soaked into the fabric. Out of habit, she picks up the cloak and sniffs the cloth.

It smells like him. Rin blinks, surprised. She sniffs again and she's reminded of the same scent when he hugs her, warm and comforting like fresh sweat and cut grass. Blushing, she brings his cloak up against her nose and inhales deeply, nuzzling the fabric and closing her eyes.

"What are you doing?"

Rin jumps, turning around.

Shirou is standing at the doorway. It doesn't help that he looks like Archer right now, hair combed up and wearing that same stupid smirk he has whenever he's about to be a smartass. "Shut up!" Rin says, before he can say anything. "I wasn't smelling your stupid cloak, I was thinking it's dirty and gross and it needs to be washed, it smells like sweat and body odor and why are you laughing at me, Shirou, you stupid jerk!"

And so goes a typical morning.

He makes her breakfast. Rin sits at the table while Shirou fries eggs in a pan. There is coffee brewing. Rin tilts her head.

"Coffee?" Rin says. Shirou shrugs.

"I thought we could try something different," Shirou says, and he slides an egg onto a plate. "I brewed tea as well, in case you don't like it."

"You know I don't eat breakfast," Rin says. She picks up a piece of bacon and chews thoughtfully. "You should just cook for yourself, save yourself the trouble."

"I would rather make too much than have to get up and cook more," Shirou says. Rin frowns at him and picks at a potato.

"What is this?" Rin says.

"Fried potatoes. Do you like them?"

"They're not bad." She munches on a slice, absently.

It's a nice little life they've made for themselves, random disappearances and guardian duties aside. Rin does research at the Clock Tower and teaches classes while Shirou goes around and does whatever it is Shirou does in his off time, which mostly consists of him sitting in a corner tracing things. "What's the point?" Rin asked him, once. Shirou shrugged.

"It's a habit," Shirou said, and Rin knew how he used to sit on his little hill, replicating weapons to pass the time.

"You're allowed to leave the apartment, you know," Rin told him.

"Believe it or not, Rin, I do go outside from time to time." And there was a soft light in the center of his hand; a small jewel fell neatly into his palm.

"For your magic," Shirou said. Rin gawked at him.

"You traced me jewels?"

"They're expensive, right?"

"So instead of weapons, you're tracing gemstones?"

"Why not?" Shirou said. "There really isn't anything I can't replicate. I could replicate electronics too, if you actually knew how to use them."

It becomes a new kind of habit. Rin would come home and find Shirou has replicated a new emerald or sapphire or garnet, and he would leave the gemstones scattered around the house, the way a cat would leave gifts of dead animals for its master.

Now she nearly trips over a baseball-sized diamond sitting at the corner of the kitchen. She bends over to pick it up, marveling a little at its size. "Where did you see this?" Rin says.

"At the museum," Shirou says.

"You traced me a diamond you saw at a museum?"

"It belonged to a queen." He grins at her, slyly. Rin shakes her head.

"You need a new hobby," Rin says.

xXx

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2.

People are freaking out at the Clock Tower, and Rin has no idea why. "What's going on?" Rin asks, but evidently people are too busy to answer even a simple question.

"Luvia," Rin says, and Luvia stops. "Why's everyone running around? Did something happen?" Luvia sniffs, annoyed.

"Well of course only a plebian wouldn't know," Luvia says, and Rin rolls her eyes. "I might be convinced to tell you if Sherou is here...I never did understand what it is he sees in you, but I suppose gutter diving is just the thing for some people..."

"You know what, I just realized I don't care," Rin says, and she starts to walk away.

"The ley lines are weakening," Luvia calls. Rin stops.

"What did you say?" Rin says.

"The earth's ley lines," Luvia says. "Apparently there's some astrological phenomenon that's happening soon. Everyone's magic will increase threefold and the earth's ley lines will weaken, for a moment. Where is Sherou, anyway?" Luvia says.

"When is this supposed to happen?" Rin says.

"I asked you a question first," Luvia says.

"I-ugh! He's at home. When are the ley lines disappearing?"

"It's supposed to happen during the lunar eclipse, but it'll only last for a few moments. My god, woman, you really should pay more attention."

"The lunar eclipse," Rin says. "That's next week."

"I know," Luvia says. She waves her hands dismissively. "There's plenty of time to take advantage, and yet these peons keep running around. I told them, I don't care if it happens only once every two hundred years, it's still next week, there is plenty of time to prepare. But of course they don't listen. Peons never do," Luvia says, and she turns to see Rin has already left her.

"My god, not you too," Luvia says, but Rin already started sprinting down the hall.

xXx

.

"You're back late," Shirou says. He's frowning at her, taking her coat. "I would have cooked, but I wasn't sure when you were coming home. Do you want to go out?"

"Not unless you want to," Rin says. He kisses her on the temple and walks back to the kitchen. "You're not being summoned?"

"It doesn't seem so," Shirou says. He ties on an apron. "It looks like we have the night together."

"That's good," Rin says. Shirou smiles.

Should she tell him? Rin watches as Shirou moves around the kitchen, opening a sack of potatoes and peeling them expertly with a knife. She used to nag him that he should use a peeler, he could cut himself that way, but Shirou insisted he could peel them faster with a knife. "Don't come crying to me when you cut off a finger," Rin told him.

Now she watches as he peels, the potato skin making a smooth spiral as he cuts. He pushes the dull side of the blade down with his thumb and she sees how his long fingers taper gracefully over the handle. He's used to handling knives, Rin thinks, and she thinks of the ley lines again. He catches her eye and smiles.

If he didn't come back here, Rin would have broken his pact anyway. At least this way she can say goodbye.

But she can't do that to him. She knows Shirou too well, if she tells him it will spoil things. Let him enjoy his last few days. She can tell him before she begins.

xXx

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3.

EMIYA wakes, and it takes a moment for him to adjust to his surroundings. Canopy bed, dark, mahagony furniture and thick, embroidered curtains, he realizes he is in Rin's old bedroom.

"I thought we were in London," EMIYA says. Rin groans.

"We're in Fuyuki City," Rin says. She rolls over the blankets, hugging a pillow. "I packed clothes for you, they're in that suitcase."

"Why are we in Fuyuki City?" EMIYA asks. Rin waves her hand.

"I felt like visiting. Just let me lie down a few more minutes, okay?"

He dresses; walks around their kitchen, makes tea and breakfast. The clock ticks. He can hear her pacing around upstairs.

He opens the door quietly, and sees her standing in the middle of the room, hugging his cloak. The last time he saw her doing this, she had threatened all sorts of violence on him for forgetting to knock. Now he walks over toward her and she doesn't even bat an eye.

"I wish there were a way I could keep this," Rin says. She hugs the cloak to her chest, before setting it down again. She seems oddly sad.

"What is wrong?" EMIYA says. He presses a hand to her shoulder. Rin shakes her head.

"I'm just a little jetlagged, I'm fine," Rin says. She smiles. "I was actually thinking I'd like some breakfast," Rin says. EMIYA frowns.

"You never want breakfast," EMIYA says.

"It's past dinnertime in London, I feel like eating," Rin says. EMIYA sighs.

"Would you believe this was the one time I cooked only for myself?"

"And that's generally good advice." She pecks him on the cheek. "I want eggs," Rin says, and she skips into the bathroom. "And I want coffee, too. I really liked it last time you made it."

"Hm," EMIYA says. She blows him a kiss through the door.

xXx

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"Ne, Shirou?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think...do you think you could replicate your cloak? For me to keep, I mean," Rin says. EMIYA frowns.

"Why would you want my cloak?" EMIYA says.

"I dunno. In case I miss you, I guess," Rin says. She seems sad again, but only for a brief moment: she screws up her face and yells at him, "It's normal for a girl to want her boyfriend's cloak, okay?"

"Fine, fine," EMIYA says, and he obliges her. The cloak appears in his hand.

"This isn't the same," Rin says. She frowns and thumbs the fabric.

"I beg to differ," EMIYA says.

"I know, but..." she frowns. "You haven't worn this," Rin says, and she hands it back to him.

"My cloak is disgusting, I thought we already decided that," EMIYA says, sitting next to her. "I'd let you keep it if I could, but it always comes with me. But why are you so interested in it now? We've been together for almost a year and I'm not usually gone all that long."

"You're still carrying around that amulet," Rin says. EMIYA frowns.

The last few summonings were particularly brutal. After that first night when Rin had to pull the swords from his back, it took him no less than ten times before he was able to complete his mission. Ever since that night, the killings have been harder, and more and more he's been coming back bleeding and wounded. He knows she's been worried about him; it's starting to take its toll.

"I think I know what this is about," EMIYA says. Rin lifts her eyes.

"You do?"

"You're afraid something might happen while I'm summoned," EMIYA says, and he squeezes her hand. "I promise you, Rin. The worst that can happen is I'll bleed all over your carpet again and maybe mess up your bathtub. I'm sorry I have to keep putting you through this."

Rin is quiet for a long time. She leans against his arm and doesn't say anything.

"Rin?"

"You know how you can make it up to me?" Her tone is light; she lays her head abruptly onto his lap.

"Er...how?"

"By taking me out on a date."

"A date?" EMIYA says. Rin looks up at him and grins.

"We're back in Fuyuki," Rin says. "Aren't you the least bit curious to see how it's changed?"

xXx

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4.

"You look different," Maki says. Her face is about an inch away from Shirou's, who is leaning back from her, frowning.

"Uh, I do?"

"Yeah," Maki says. "Aside from the gray hair and the tan, I get that you were in the desert, those things are to be expected! But...I think you're taller."

Behind them, Rin shakes her head. Even now, after having been with Shirou-the-guardian for almost a year, it's strange to her to see Archer taking on his younger self's old mannerisms: Archer laughs nervously, doesn't look Maki in the eye, and mumbles, "Oh. I suppose I have."

"Not just suppose," Maki says. Her eyes narrow. "You even sound different."

"Uh..."

"Doesn't he sound different?" Maki says to Ayako, who's sitting next to her.

"His voice sounds deeper," Ayako says.

"Yes! Exactly. Deeper. More full-bodied."

"We're all older," Shirou says, in a desperate attempt to change the conversation. "It is only natural if we look a little worse for wear."

"You don't look 'worse,' you got really buff," Maki says. "And what's with that proper way of speaking?"

"Uh, well-"

"Shirou did a lot of pushups in the desert," Rin says. "He also got yelled at a lot, so that's probably why."

"You were a soldier of fortune, right?" Ayako sucks on her straw.

"You could call it that," Shirou says. Maki is still staring at him. "...What now?"

"Your eyes are a different color, you know that?" Maki says. Rin huffs at them.

"They're the same damn color! And are you two idiots done staring at my boyfriend? Because it's starting to get kind of rude," Rin says. The two women raise their hands.

"That was excruciating," Shirou says, when they somehow manage to make a strategic retreat. "I thought this 'date' would be just the two of us."

"I can't help it if we run into people," Rin says.

xXx

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Nothing has really changed in Fuyuki City. It is as EMIYA remembers it: the same open streets, the same neighborhoods and shops. Even their old high school is the same. "Oh," Rin says, as if remembering.

"You haven't had a chance to see the new temple, have you?"

They walk to the outskirts of the city, up the steps where Assassin used to guard the gate and toward the courtyard where they fought Caster. But Ryuudo Temple looks nothing like EMIYA remembers. "Everything is modernized," Issei says, and EMIYA feels himself grinning when he sees him. "We have air conditioning now, and even free wifi. Not that it draws a lot of parishioners, but it is convenient."

"Issei," EMIYA says. Issei grins.

"Emiya! It's been a long time."

He claps EMIYA on the shoulder. "Wow. You look different," Issei says.

"So do you," EMIYA says. He looks at Issei's monks robes and nods, approvingly.

Rin leans against the doorway, wearing a small little smile and crossing her arms. "I'll leave you boys to catch up," Rin says. She smiles again. "Love you."

"Er...Love you, too." EMIYA frowns a little. It's not like her to say that. Then again, she might be doing that to annoy Issei, and it seems to be working. Issei's mouth turns down at the corners in vague distaste.

"I still don't understand what you see in that vixen," Issei says. EMIYA smiles apologetically.

"Tohsaka isn't bad, once you get to know her."

"You sound whipped," Issei says. "Like she's got you under her spell."

EMIYA laughs a little. "I thought monks don't cast judgment?"

"Who says I am judging? I'm merely telling you what I see with both eyes."

Somehow, EMIYA ends up sitting in one of the back rooms, fixing a few of the temple's portable heaters. "This is terrible of me," Issei says. "You come to visit and I put you back to work."

"I don't mind." EMIYA pries off the cover and exposes the wires. "I'm happy to help a friend."

Issei sighs. "There is such a thing as being too considerate," Issei says.

"I believe you told that to me before," EMIYA says.

"I have?"

"Mm." EMIYA twists a screwdriver. "You told me I was 'opening myself up to being taken advantaged of,' and that I would burn myself out if I didn't start saying 'no,' once in a while. All very good advice, by the way. I just wish I were smart enough to listen." He taps the cover shut, admiring his handiwork. "It's fixed," EMIYA says. Issei frowns.

"Emiya," Issei says. "There is something I've been meaning to ask you."

"What is it?" EMIYA says. Issei frowns.

"Why haven't you and Tohsaka gotten married yet?" Issei says. EMIYA looks down at his hands. "Emiya. Come on. It's been years since the temple was re-built, and she's still stuck by you. I've heard about the things you've done," Issei says. "Becoming a soldier of fortune and dragging her around the desert. That's no way to treat a woman. You need to stop fooling around."

"I know," EMIYA says, quietly.

"Well if you know, you need to get serious already," Issei says. "Settle down. Have a family. You can't keep playing hero forever."

"Ahem," Rin says, and both men turn toward the doorway. Rin smiles.

"I don't believe in marriage, Ryuudou-kun."

"T-Tohsaka!" Issei's eyes bulge out of his sockets. "So you've been stringing Emiya along!"

"Yes," Rin says. "I figure, why get married when all that will do is complicate things? What if I meet someone else? I can't be tied down like that."

"You vixen!" Issei says. EMIYA sighs and stands.

"She doesn't mean that," EMIYA says.

"Emiya! She's using you! Kick her to the curb!"

"You're a good friend, Issei," EMIYA says, and he sets down the space heater.

xXx

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5.

"Did you see Ryuudou-kun's face? I thought he was going to pop an aneurysm!"

It's nighttime now, and they're sitting on a hill, overlooking the city. Rin is laughing, leaning against him. It feels nice. He feels her snake her hand around his arm as she speaks to him, touching his leg occasionally for emphasis. "Such a diligent guy," Rin is saying. "Some people never change!"

Her eyes are bright and her hair whips around her like banners; he touches her shoulder, quietly.

"It doesn't bother you, what Issei said? About the two of us?" EMIYA says.

"Ryuudou-kun doesn't know a thing about us. It's fine," Rin says. EMIYA looks at his hands.

"Hey," Rin says. "You're not getting depressed over something that stupid, right?"

"Why are you with me?" EMIYA says.

"What do you mean?" Rin says. EMIYA frowns.

"Issei is right; I dragged you around the desert and I strung you along. You should have gotten married, had a family. You shouldn't have stuck around a useless guy like me."

"Hm. Well the sex was good," Rin says. She leans against him. "Still is, in fact."

"You don't regret it?" EMIYA says.

"Why should I? You make me happy."

He kisses her, and it's comfortable and nice, leaning her against him and resting his chin against her hair.

"Do you remember your last night alive?" Rin says.

EMIYA laces his hand in hers. "Why are you thinking about that?" EMIYA says.

"I don't know. I just am." She picks at a piece of thread, frowning. "I just keep thinking, the last night you were alive, you warmed up a little can of stew and did pushups by the bed, and I was too tired for sex, but I was going to let you, because the sex is always good and I like having sex with you. But you told me, 'that's okay, Tohsaka, just go to sleep.' And then we went to bed. And that was our last night together."

"You couldn't have known," EMIYA says. "I had forewarning and I didn't know, either."

"It's just...I didn't mean to take you for granted," she says quietly.

"I never felt you had," EMIYA says.

"Shirou," Rin says, and a shadow falls over her eyes. "There's something I need to tell you."

She turns to look at him, taking his hands into hers.

"I found the ley lines that are keeping you bound to the world," Rin says.

"What?" EMIYA says.

"They cross through the old Fuyuki powerplant. That's why I came here in the first place."

She is gripping his hands but she's not looking at him. He can't see her face.

"I've done a lot of research, and ordinarily the type of pact you made is ironclad. There's no way to break them," Rin says. "But tonight there is a way. For the first time in two hundred years, certain stars will align with our moon in its orbit, and the strength of those ley lines will weaken. If I play my cards right, I believe I can fracture them," Rin says, and she looks up. Moonlight catches her face. "I believe I can set you free."

Her words hang like a distant fog. EMIYA grips her hands.

"I would no longer be a guardian?"

"No," Rin says. Her voice is hollow.

"Rin," EMIYA says, and he hugs her. "I love you," he says. "I love you and I'm so lucky to have you. I don't tell you this enough, but you've saved my life more times than I can count. Thank you," he says. "You are a remarkable woman, Tohsaka Rin. I am so lucky to have you."

"Stop that," Rin says, and she starts to cry. "You're supposed to say something snarky and mean, you're not supposed to act that way."

"Why are you crying?" EMIYA says. He kisses her and presses his forehead against hers, framing her face in his hands. "This is a good thing, right? After tonight I'll be your permanent familiar."

She pulls away from him, shaking her head.

"Rin?"

"You won't," Rin says. She turns away from him, crossing her arms.

"Once I do this, you'll re-enter the cycle of life and death. We'll probably never see each other again."

Above them, a slow wind rises, moving strands of hair along Rin's face, and it's like that noose tightening around his neck again. Choking and hot and hardly able to breathe.

"I wanted the day to be perfect," Rin says, and a tear slips as she closes her eyes. "I knew it would be our last."

"Rin," he says. She turns to look up at him. Moonlight catches her face, and EMIYA feels his heart in his throat. She has that same determined look on her face he remembers; he saw that face the day of his execution.

"The timing is wrong," Rin says, quietly. "I wish I could do it at the end...when I'm old and gray and won't have any regrets. But this is the only time I can do this. I told you I'd set you free, didn't I?"

"But what about you?" EMIYA says.

"Hmph. You seem to think very highly of yourself. I'll be fine. I can start dating again. Maybe someone who isn't a self-sacrificing asshole."

"No one said you had to do this," EMIYA says.

"I have to," Rin says.

"I don't want you to," EMIYA says.

"Don't try to talk me out of this, you jerk! Just think about yourself, for once!" She takes a breath, wiping her eyes.

"I'm not going to live forever," Rin says. "I'm going to die someday, and when I do, you're going to be alone again. It's not worth it."

"Rin," Shirou says. Rin shakes her head.

"The moon is out," Rin says. She wipes her eyes and stands. "I need to start getting prepared."

xXx

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6.

Her mana is highest at 2 a.m., so they still have a few hours before she performs the incantation. Silently they walk back to the Tohsaka mansion, where Rin gathers her jewels into a knapsack. "I need the amulet too," Rin says, and Shirou hesitates a moment, before handing it to her.

"What are you going to do with it?"

"I'm going to melt it during the incantation," Rin says. She closes her eyes. "After tonight they'll be nothing left."

Shirou says nothing. He waits by the corner while Rin picks up her jewels and scrolls, tying them up into her pack.

"Ne, Shirou. We still have a few hours yet. Will you-" and she hesitates a moment. "Will you make love to me? One more time, I mean?"

He looks at her like he wants to cry, but he just nods, quietly. He walks over to her and kisses her, cupping her face and touching his forehead next to hers.

The clock chimes midnight. Reluctantly she pulls herself out of bed and wraps a blanket around herself, kneeling by the cloak.

"What are you doing?" Shirou says. Rin draws an incantation circle and picks up one of her jewels.

"It just occurred to me how I can save your cloak," Rin says. The jewel ignites; the circle pulses with yellow flame. "I'm going to turn it into my familiar, so I can keep it when you're gone."

The flames die down and the cloak sparkles with blue light. Command seals burn into the back of her hand.

"Well this is pretty worthless," Rin says, looking at the back of her hand. "It's not like I can command your cloak to teleport me somewhere."

It's almost 2 AM when they make their way into the abandoned powerplant. She draws the incantation circle and has Shirou stand in the center. "Okay," Rin says. Jewels drip. Mana flares and burns. "Are you ready?"

Shirou nods. She's about to start the incantation but she starts to cry again. "Don't," Rin says, just as Shirou is about to come toward her. "We can't keep doing this. My mana is at its peak, we don't have time to keep saying goodbye."

"Okay," Shirou says. Rin takes a breath, then starts the incantation.

First is the glow. The circle around him glows blue, then yellow, motes of yellow light floating upwards around him. Next his body rises; she can see the outline of his body start to dissipate, crumbling away like ash from a burning piece of paper.

There is a flash of light as Rin reaches the end, chanting the words louder over the sound.

And then there's darkness. The light around the circle dies, and Rin looks up to see Shirou floating in front of her, motes of mana drifting off his body.

She wants to say goodbye. Wants to tell him again that she loves him, that she's always loved him, that she's never regretted a single day with him. But the circle fades and the ley lines break, and his soul has gone and bled out into the ether.

xXx

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7.

The light in London is a watery kind; it sluices down buildings and drips through the angled glass, casting everything in an overcast haze. This time, Rin doesn't let her apartment get into disarray; Shirou had always complained that she was a slovenly girl - what kind of woman leaves her underwear hanging out on the kitchen table? - and Rin is careful to keep doing the dishes, throw away the trash. Keep to a routine, if only to get through the day.

Luvia, of all people, is the most sympathetic, somehow having pried the whole sorry affair out from her after she caught her secretly weeping in her office. "You're not coming out?" Luvia says. She raps her knuckles on the door. "You are a mess, Miss Tohsaka. If Shereou could see you he'd be rolling in his grave! I suppose it's not too surprising," Luvia says. "Only a slug would keep wallowing in its grief. Do you hear that Miss Tohsaka? I just called you a slug," Luvia says, and she's irritating and grating enough that Rin forces herself to open the door.

"What do you want?" Rin says. Luvia sniffs and puts her hands on her hips.

"I thought we should go to lunch," Luvia says. "And this should go without saying, but I do believe it would be prudent for you to shower, first."

She showers and is about to grab her purse when she sees it: a small ruby, tucked haphazardly in her drawer.

Sometimes, when she least expects it, she comes across another gemstone.

xXx

.

His cloak is tucked in an unassuming corner at the side of her bed, bunched into a ball and sharing the coveted spot between her blanket and pillow. "That is an energy suck," Luvia told her. "You need to get rid of it, if you want to move on."

It's true. The cloak serves no other purpose except to simply exist, but it still drains as much mana as Archer did; even now, she can feel the thin trickle of mana leaking out from her, giving it shape and form.

She sits heavily on the bed. The cloak has long lost Shirou's smell and the fabric has grown dirty and careworn, but she can't bring herself to get rid of it. It's her only thing left of him.

She falls asleep with it pressed against her face, her knees curled to her chest, lying in the corner.

xXx

.

"Rin."

.

"Rin."

.

"Rin," he says, and Rin opens her eyes.

They are standing in the wasteland. Around her, there is nothing but a flatness that stretches out toward the horizon, gray sheets of rock and overcast skies. There are no swords here, and Shirou is not wearing his cloak.

"Shirou," Rin says, and tears fill her eyes. "Shirou, what are you doing here?"

"I couldn't leave," Shirou says, and Rin begins to weep.

"You're still stuck here," Rin says, agonized. "I'm so sorry-Shirou I made things worse!"

"You didn't," he says, and he holds her and kisses her, stroking her hair. "But you know, Rin, I still have regrets. You don't look happy," he says, and Rin cries into his shoulder.

"I miss you," Rin says.

"I know," Shirou says, and he holds her. "But Rin. I need you to forget me. I need to know that you'll be okay."

"Would that help you rest easy? So you can go without any regrets?" Rin says.

"Yes," Shirou says. Rin closes her eyes.

"Then I'll forget you," Rin says. "It'll take some time, but I won't keep looking back. I'll forget you and I'll meet someone else, and I'll live the rest of my life without you.

But right now, I still miss you," Rin says, and she sobs into his shoulder.

xXx

.

The mansion was dark when Rin stepped inside again, after having dragged herself from the ruins of the Fuyuki powerplant. Her mana was spent; she flipped on the light to the kitchen and wasn't surprised to see leftovers carefully packed in the fridge. "That guy," Rin said, shaking her head.

She ate. Set the plate in the sink, and told herself she will wash it tomorrow, before dragging herself upstairs.

His cloak was still on the chair. Silently she picked it up and held it to her face.

It still smelled like him. Her hands were shaking. Tears silently dripped onto the floor.

xXx

.

She wakes facedown against his cloak, a thin line of saliva dripping from the corner of her mouth.

Bad dreams and old memories. It's enough to make Rin feel nauseous and hung over.

"Ugh," Rin says, and she wipes her hand across her face. She can feel the crease marks from where she fell asleep against the fabric, and her hair is a tangled mess. "I must look terrible."

"You always look terrible," EMIYA says, "When you think no one is around."

"Shirou?!"

"Rin," EMIYA says, and she lurches forward to hug him. She spends the next few minutes crying and pretending not to wipe her nose all over his shirt. Shirou for the most part just stands there and holds her, rocking her gently and kissing her hair.

"I don't understand," Rin says, and she holds him tighter. "I didn't summon you. You should have passed on, how are you here? Why?"

"I think I may be haunting you," EMIYA says, frowning.

"Huh?!"

"Too many regrets," EMIYA says. He smiles. "If not for your crest, you probably wouldn't even see me right now."

"You're a ghost?" Rin stares at him, incredulously.

"At the very least, I'm not a guardian," EMIYA says.

"But I can touch you..." Rin says. EMIYA shrugs.

"I think I might be attached to that cloak," EMIYA says.

"Stupid Shirou! Why didn't you come here before?!"

"I didn't have the mana," EMIYA says. "I had to siphon quite a bit from that cloak before I could even speak to you. Our connection is an indirect one, and rather tenuous at best. Although I suppose there are other ways to strengthen it," he says, but Rin is already pulling off her nightgown.

"You talk too much," Rin says, and she pushes him onto the ground.

.

.

"That is what I want of you—out of the sight and sound of other people, to lie close to you and let the world rush by. To watch with you suns rising and moons rising in that purple edge outside most people's vision—to hear high music that only birds can hear—oh, my dearest, dearest, would it not be wonderful, just once to be together again for a little while?"

end.