Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own DBZ (although I wouldn't mind owning Vegeta). Mmmmmm....Vegeta.... *drools like Homer Simpson*

Category: Humor (I think...it all depends on the reader, I guess).

Rating: PG-13 for the very occasional swear + sexual references (anything with Master Roshi in it DOES tend to do that, after all...)

Author's Note: This came from a flash of inspiration just before I was going to sleep one night. Mmmm, sleep deprivation + homework + strange fic idea... That equals...um...I don't know. Just read this for yourself. As far as I know this has never been done before (though I can't say for sure, since I can honestly say I haven't read a lot of DBZ humor fics).

All hell had been unleashed when a gigantic, unprecedented blizzard suddenly hit the unsuspecting tourist-oriented city of Metro East-Central. Everything, all amenities, which were normally within a finger's reach of the laid-back, easy-going citizens of the locale, all at once vanished. Power lines were mercilessly blown down, groceries and other necessities quickly flew off the shelves, and the city's transportation system had long since been stopped with a grinding, screeching halt. Tourists and out-of-towners, with no other place to go, congregated anxiously at every hotel and motel in the entire area, causing crowding, squalor, and pretty much everything that you can think of that is bad.

And it was out of one of these crowded hotels (a rather chintzy place called El Loco Rojo) that a one Bulma Briefs was currently having an angry hustle with a one perverted man known as Master Roshi. It seemed he had one of those of what he liked to call "coloring books" again...

"GIVE...THAT...HERE...NOW!" Bulma screeched like a banshee, trying to wrest the degrading smut out of the old man's surprisingly tight grasp.

"No! Never!"

"YES...NOW! I tell you, if you go waving that stuff around Goten and Trunks, I swear I'll-"

"You'll WHAT?!" A wide, suggestive grin began to spread on Roshi's crusty old face.

"ARRRGHHHH!! YOU DIRTY OLD MAN! YOU'D BETTER BE GLAD VEGETA ISN'T HERE, OR OTHERWISE---" Bulma trailed off when she realized that Roshi wasn't even listening, as the book had flopped open during their struggle and he was -well- admiring it. Seeing her chance, she snatched it as fast as lightning and unceremoniously opened the second-story window and chucked it out into the winter wonderland below.

"HA! There!" Bulma grinned triumphantly at a crestfallen Roshi, who scowled at her and shuffled off, grumbling about "people unable to let an old man have some fun." Perverted old man, anyway...

At a loss for finding something to do, Bulma then turned back towards the room's only window, staring out at the vindictive white blur that, as time went on, only seemed to gain momentum.

Three days. An excruciating, hellish three days it had been so far, and Kami only knew how long it was going to last yet. Goten and Trunks' hourly madcap escapades, Chichi's constant complaining and fretting, Master Roshi's -ahem- fetishes...she didn't know how much longer she could survive it all.

She would never EVER trust her mother with a travel agent ever again. First it had been the airline losing half of her twenty suitcases, and then the overall cheesiness of the area, and now THIS. It just wasn't fair!

She lightly touched the frosted windowpane with a well-manicured fingertip. Three days. It had been three horrible days since she had ever even set FOOT outside. The blizzard had come so unexpectedly that it was a damn good thing that they had been as lucky as they were and were able to rent this tiny two-room suite in this horrendously overpriced hotel. And then there was the whole debacle with her husband and Goku...

Oh Kami, she didn't even want to THINK about THAT.

Her contemplations were suddenly interrupted when all at once she became aware of a rather subdued Chichi approaching her. The woman had been worrying herself sick for about two days straight now, and had spent most of her days and sleepless nights sitting in a corner and looking as if she was about to hyperventilate at any second. And perhaps for good reason...

"Oh, Bulma, I just can't stop thinking about it!" she exclaimed fretfully, worriedly staring out the window. "I try to stop, but when I think of my poor Goku out there all alone, I just-"

Bulma rolled her eyes. This was, perhaps, the twelfth time that they had had this very same conversation. "Listen, Chichi," she began patiently, slowly putting one hand on the other woman's shoulder, "I'm sure they've just holed up somewhere until the blizzard stops. I mean, not even a Super Saiyan could possibly fly in this wea-"

"But it's my fault, Bulma! MY FAULT! If I hadn't ordered Goku to go back to the car for little Gohan's homework, I- I-"

"Listen, if anybody's, it's just as much my fault as yours! I was the one who ordered Vegeta to go back and get my handbags-"

"But-but-"

"BUT JUST LISTEN TO ME ALREADY!" Bulma suddenly exploded, the spit literally flying out of her mouth. Shaking slightly, she allowed herself to calm down a little bit before continuing on, "Listen, do you honestly think that a man who managed to cut Frieza in half is actually gonna DIE in a BLIZZARD?! I mean, come on-"

"But I can't help worrying! I just can't, Bulma! And Gohan's already getting way behind in his schoolwork-"

"Just put it out of your mind, Chichi! They're fine, they WILL be fine, and we unfortunately WILL be seeing them once the blizzard ends!"

Yep, every word of this was true. Goku and Vegeta, forced by their wives to go retrieve various items from the car they had rented, had vanished in the blizzard en route to it. There had just been no time to wait for them to come back once things had started to get nasty. And it was a damn good thing they weren't around right now either, Bulma had concluded. With Goku's blatant foolishness and Vegeta's love for destroying annoying, useless, and talkative things, one would have probably destroyed the other by now. But try telling that to Chichi...

The person in question wailed, "But we don't KNOW anything until we see them again! I mean, where's Goku right now? Is he safe? Does he have enough to eat? Did he change his underwea-"

"Enough is ENOUGH, Chichi!" Bulma broke in, trying to wrest the disturbing mental image out of her brain. "As I said before, I'm sure he's FINE! And I'm sure Vegeta's fine, too! ...Listen, I don't even know WHY you want them back! Do you really want a pain-in-the-ass Saiyan prince strutting around in here and fussing and bitching and complaining and whining his tight little hiney off?! Do you? DO YOU?!" As much as she loved Vegeta, being stuck in a little tiny hotel room with him with no escape was just a little more than she could bear at the moment (alone with him, yes, but with nine other people, no).

"Um, no, but-"

"Then enjoy this!" Bulma snapped, her eyes glaring daggers at everyone and everything around her.

At seeing Chichi's face fall and teeter even closer to flat out crying, she suddenly rued her words and said more softly, "I'm really sorry, it's just that I'm gonna go crazy any moment now. This whole business is just driving me nuts; with nowhere to go and being stuck in here with eight people, it's just- it's just- terrible."

Chichi sighed. "I know, I know..." She banged her fist on the windowsill in frustration. "It's just that I feel so HELPLESS! I can't do a thing here..."

"I know we can't. But all we CAN do is wait for this to end, right? And trust me, they're fine. I'm sure they're off having a chili dog or something somewhere and laughing at the blizzard..." She trailed off, not caring to add that this was probably the LAST thing that they were doing, as Vegeta hated chili dogs and also probably at this point wanted to kick the crap out of Goku. But no need to worry Chichi any further...

"Well, I suppose we should enjoy this quiet while it lasts," Bulma voiced after a moment's silence, "With everyone but us and Master Roshi down at the buffet" -(everyone else was downstairs depleting the food supply) " we'll actually be able to get some peace for awhile." Chichi nodded, and they both sat down on a bed and switched on the TV to catch a quick soap.

****

~Opposite end of town, exactly 48 hours earlier~

"KAKAROTT! I AM GETTING TIRED OF YOUR FOOLISHNESS!" Vegeta stamped his foot in frustration, causing the countless number of handbags encircling his neck to swing furiously in the wind.

Goku smiled in reply, a smile that only the truly moronic could pull off. "Oh, Vegeta, will you just cut it out already?! I'm sure they'll be around in a minute. I mean, d'ya think they'd just leave us here?" Running a hand through his spiky, coal-black hair, he giggled like a schoolgirl at the very thought.

"Yes, Kakkarott, I'm sure they DID leave," Vegeta shot back, albeit a little muffled, as the seemingly permanent clenching of his teeth was affecting his speech pattern. "It's a freaking BLIZZARD, Kakkarott! A BLIZZARD!"

"Oh, you're just being silly, Vegeta!" Goku laughed. "Our families would NEVER abandon us! I know Chichi better than that! If she says that we should come back HERE to meet them, then she's not lying! Have a little faith!"

Vegeta just growled and attempted to shield himself from the increasingly biting snowflakes by moving further under the canopy that proudly read as "Pauli's Perfect Pizza Place". After a short, tension-filled pause he started up again, "I am growing TIRED of this idiocy! Do you honestly think they will come back for us after a full DAY of waiting here?! Use your brain, Kakarott, whatever little of it is left!"

Goku had not heard this last comment, as currently he was outside the shadow of the canopy, apparently lying down and making a snow angel right in the middle of the vaguely outlined street, allowing the large snowflakes to melt at the tip of his tongue. "Come on, Vegeta! Try this! It's fun!"

Vegeta snorted in disdain. The way this full-grown man was making a complete idiot out of himself and inviting HIM, the Prince of All the Saiyans, to do the very same, was just DISGUSTING. Leaning against the icy-cold brick wall, he muttered quietly to himself, "I cannot BELIEVE for one minute that you are Bardock's son! What with YOUR stupidity, it's almost as if a walrus mated with a goat and the offspring came out sideways and with sublevel intellige---ARGH!"

That last scream had been caused by a large snowball that had suddenly pelted his face. With a raging fury that could only be matched by Bulma during pregnancy, he slowly wiped the fine powdery substance from his face (of which veins were starting to bulge out and was starting to grow mottled red and purple) and proceeded to stare icily at Goku, who was just sitting there in the snow and smiling moronically as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

"Ahahahahaha! Guess I got you THERE, Vegeta! Ahahahahaha!"

Vegeta had now officially had enough. Hand outstretched as he readied for an especially nasty ki ball, he let out an unearthly loud yell that seemed to shake the very foundations of the earth itself. "KAAAAKAROOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!"

Goku cocked his head innocently to one side. "Hey, Vegeta, why are you so ang-" He never got to finish his sentence.

KA-BOOOOOMMMMMM!!!! The ball of energy hit him with the momentum of a large double-decker bus, causing blackened soot to rain down over them along with the snow and a large crater (of which Goku was sitting right in the middle of) to form right where part of the street once was. This was not enough to hurt Goku, of course, who merely sat there and scratched his head, bewildered at Vegeta's PMS-like symptoms.

"VEGETA!!" he remonstrated after a moment's worth of hard-pressed thinking. "If you didn't like snowballs you could have TOLD me so instead of hitting me with that!"

Vegeta's reply was barely understandable (as he was shaking so hard that he could barely put two words together), but perhaps we can take a guess at what his words had been: "WE... ....LEAVE... ....NOW!!!"

Goku apparently understood what he said, since his reply was: "All right, all RIGHT! But don't say I didn't warn you when nobody's able to find us!" He wagged a scolding finger at his companion.

***

With Goku picking up his son's large pile of textbooks and Vegeta securing all of the handbags' drawstrings tightly around his neck, they both turned Super Saiyan and trudged away into the unknowns and off towards a better and brighter tomorrow (or maybe perhaps for a decent motel). The harsh winds were bitingly cold and the blinding snow even perturbed Saiyan vision the tiniest bit, but nothing stopped the two brave warriors, who strode on without hesitation. Not forgetting to look carefully at each sign on the entire street, both searched endlessly and without rest for a place that would serve their purpose.

A good two hours passed, but...finally...

"Vegeta! LOOK!" Goku smiled happily as he pointed at a pink, flashing, neon sign that apparently read as simply: "INN".

Vegeta scowled. "Then what are you waiting for, moron?! Let's GO!" He almost ran across the street towards the inn, feeling at least halfway happy (which was rare for him) at the fact that tonight he would at least be sheltered from the elements and in just a few hours he would be fast asleep in a warm, dry bed. Goku quickly followed, feeling slight regret that he had never been able to finish that snow angel, but also very happy at no longer being pelted with large, wet snowflakes.

It all seemed almost too good to be true.

And it was...

If Goku and Vegeta had perhaps USED that Saiyan eyesight of theirs and had taken a few more seconds to discern that sign, then they would have noticed that a large sheet of ice had covered the other half of the motel's sign. Under normal circumstances it then would have read as "THE LOVEBIRD INN."

And thus did the hell begin.

Author's Note: Soooooo...should I continue?! Did any of you out there like this? I have this partly planned out but I'm open to any suggestions. Reviews are much appreciated! =D