Chapter 19

"Ok, just take it easy." Kate advised her pyjama clad fiancée as he made a bee-line for the couch – happy to finally be home. Martha followed, carrying the small holdall which had seen Castle through his two and a half week hospital stay, and Alexis closed the door behind them. Kate grabbed the blanket she had left ready for him on the back of the couch, and tucked it in around him as he lifted both his legs up onto the seat and leaned into the cushions behind him, whilst Alexis helped him to undo his laces and slip his shoes off.

Martha put the bag down by the door and made her way over to join them.

"Richard, don't you think you would be more comfortable in bed?" She asked her son.

"I've spent the past two weeks in bed mom." He told her, leaning back and smiling in a moment of pure bliss. He was still sore, and his chest hurt as the tort scar tissue readjusted to the contours of the couch, but he took in the familiar and comforting sights and smells of home and smiled. "I just want to spend a few hours with my family, unrestricted by visiting hours and uninterrupted by doctors." He said.

A banner had been erected above the breakfast counter which said 'Welcome Home' and he noticed the cake which had been placed underneath, mirroring the words above in whipped icing.

"Is that for me?" He asked.

Martha looked in the direction in which he was pointing – and smiled. Her son had always had a sweet tooth, growing up he'd always been spoiling his dinner with sugar, and this was a habit he had carried with him into adulthood – usually in the form of eating from a can of squeezey cream he kept in the fridge for the soul purpose of squirting directly into his mouth for that instant sugar rush. She nodded.

"It's candied chocolate fudge." She told him. "With caramel sauce."

She looked at her son eyeing the cake longingly. Sometimes it was still hard for her to accept the fact that he was all grown up now, and that she could no longer protect him as she had once been able to. He had his part to play, out in the big, wide world – but one thing the past two weeks had taught her was that bad things could happen anytime and anywhere, and danger didn't always come in the form of a knife, or a gun, the criminally inclined, or a psychopath. He would always be her little boy though, and she relished the glimmers she caught of the childlike wonder in his eyes.

"Hang on a minute," he asked her suspiciously, "you didn't bake it did you?"

"Richard Castle!" She exclaimed, "You survived eighteen years of home cooked meals prepared by my hand, and many more since then. I haven't poisoned you yet."

"Yes, but what you didn't realise mother was that on your nights to cook I was sneaking cheeseburgers on my way home from school." Castle smiled impishly. He readjusted his position, sliding further down the arm of the couch and leaning back into the plump cushions – and he grimaced, his hand automatically reaching for the side of his chest. Martha cupped her sons face in her hands.

"And if I'd known that I would have stopped your allowance." She said with a smile, their faces touching tenderly.

"Actually dad, it was my idea," Alexis smiled, kissing her father gently on this top of his head and wrapping her arms around his neck from behind as she rested her head on his warm shoulder, "and we've cleared it with Josh so we know that you're allowed to eat it, so long as you don't have too much."

He brushed the side of his daughter's face with one hand and leaned into her hug. His daughter gave the best hugs, he thought. All three were still all too aware of the bandages concealed beneath his pyjamas but Alexis didn't lean too heavily upon his shoulders.

"It's perfect sweetheart." He smiled contentedly. "It beats hospital food that's for sure."

Kate's smile mirrored her fiancé's. It was good to have him home, back amongst his family and where he belonged - and she could tell that he was happy to be home too.

That evening Castle fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillows, but before she joined him there was one more thing Kate felt she had to do. Tucking herself in beside the man she loved she reached for her phone on the bedside table, and searched for her desired number in her contacts book. It was a number she hadn't had cause to use in a very long time – Josh Davidson.

She looked at his name for a second – their romance had been so fleeting – but maybe, she now thought, this had been their life's game plan all along. There had never been any doubt in Kate's mind that Josh was one of the best at what he did, and she had wanted the very best care for Castle. If she and Josh had never met – never loved – then there was no telling what might have happened to him.

Castle stirred in his sleep, and she reached around to stroke his cheek with a gentle finger. He still looked so small and childlike – vulnerable was the word she would have used to describe him – although maybe that was just the way the past couple of weeks had made him seem to her. There was now healthy colour within his cheeks though. His forehead was dry, and suitably cool – the fever gone.

Kate smiled.

The two word message she sent to Josh was short, but there wasn't much she could say to convey the full extent of her gratitude – 'Thank you' – and she didn't think it entirely inappropriate, given the circumstances, to sign it with a kiss, for old time's sake.

He got back to her almost immediately – the words 'you're welcome' the only indication she needed that any resentment there may have once been between the two of them was now gone.

She didn't know whether she and Josh would ever see each other again after this, or whether if they did they would ever reach such a stage in their relationship where they could be friends. A lot of choppy water had passed under the bridge which had once united them – she had treated him badly, she'd always known that. She may not have loved him in the way that he'd loved her, but he'd deserved better than to be cast aside in the manner he had been - as though surplus to requirement.

She looked over at Castle – she had treated him badly too – but if he had found it within his heart to forgive her then perhaps, given time, there was still hope for her and Josh too.

She smiled wistfully, putting her phone back down on the bedside table as she reached for the switch to turn off the lamp, before nesting down beside Castle – sliding herself closer to him until their bodies were touching beneath the sheets. She traced the outline of the dressings which were still swathed around his chest, and secured with medicated Elastoplast. He was in for a long and painful recovery – she knew better than anyone what lay ahead. It would be at least another few days before the dressings were removed, not to mention the fact that it would take weeks for his heart and lungs to fully recover – and even then he may never regain the full physicality he'd had before. It would take months before he'd be able to return to work at the prescient – and she knew how long and arduous the rehabilitation process could be.

But at least he was still alive.

She closed her eyes and allowed herself to be comforted by the sound of his breathing, and lulled by the gentle beating of his heart. After so many nights of falling asleep alone it was reassuring to feel the warmth of his body beside her again. She wrapped her arms around him, and nestled her head into the back of his neck, feeling as his own arms instinctively reached out to complete the embrace.

Her smile widened – even in sleep he was the same sweet, tender, and loving man she'd first fell in love with. Too true he could also be cocky, and arrogant, immature, and just a little too self-assured at times – but imperfections and all he was hers, and the thought of losing him terrified her.

She loved him, she really did, and she wanted to let the whole world know just how much. It no longer mattered to her that she'd started out their long association hating him – she wasn't quite sure whether it had been he or she who had changed, or both of them in their own separate ways, but hate had eventually turned into acceptance and acceptance had led them to friendship. It was from this friendship that love had taken route in her heart – but she'd stubbornly denied her feelings for so long that it was hard for her to pinpoint exactly when this had happened – and now that she had finally acknowledged them it was as though the universe was conspiring to tell her not to take him for granted.

She wouldn't – she resolved. She never would.

She closed her eyes. It was too hot to sleep entwined in his embrace and so she lay with her hand resting upon his chest – feeling the gentle rise and fall of his ribcage until she too finally fell asleep.