It was awkward. And trust me, I'm an awkward person; I know awkward. Elliot and I sat on Ange's couch, opposite ends, of course. The apartment was small, but it did have two bedrooms, even if the spare room I've been staying in is basically a closet. The couch was gray and old, but I spent many afternoons, evenings, nights, on it. Elliot and I were watching her argue with her boyfriend, Ollie. They were speaking in hushed tones that I think were meant to be whispers, although we could still hear them clearly. They were only feet away. The kitchenette was basically part of the living room. I felt like a little kid whose parents were getting divorced and they thought I was too young to notice or understand.

"It's been over a month since we've actually been out," Ollie complained.

"I know, don't you think I know," Ange whisper-yelled back. "But I can't exactly leave her alone right now."

I swear she glanced to the kitchen knives.

My sister had a gift for making me feel like a burden. I glanced sideways at Elliot. He hadn't moved, he wasn't even blinking.

"I'll stay with her," he spoke, shutting the couple up immediately.

"What?" Ange asked to make sure she had heard him correctly.

"You two go out, I'll hang here with Tara," he clarified.

1010011010

When Ollie and Ange had left, Elliot and I were left in silence except for the TV which continued to drone on about the latest and greatest. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence; it just was. He was my only friend and I was his only friend except for Ange; Ange had always been his best friend. I wanted to ask if he was alright, if he still thought he was being followed, but I didn't. Instead I went to the spare room to get the book I was reading and returned to the couch, sitting closer to him than I was before. He watched as I sat down and looked at the book I was reading, than back at the TV. While I was gone, he had put one of the Star Wars movies on.

"I'm sorry," I told him when the movie ended and he put in the sequel. "I'm sorry you got roped into babysitting."

"You shouldn't have to be alone," he shrugged.

I liked the way he said it. Like I wasn't going to try to kill myself again if I'm left with the kitchen knives, but I might like some company anyway.

He ended up falling asleep before his movie was over. I put in the third one anyway; I didn't like it when things went unfinished. It was close to three when I passed out. I knew Ange wasn't coming back tonight. I knew that when she left she was going back to Ollie's to bang him. When I woke up, Elliot's arm was around me and Ange still wasn't home; she would have woken us up if she was. My face was pressed against Elliot's black hoodie and I hoped I hadn't been drooling.

"Coffee?" I mumbled.

"Yea, coffee sounds good."