"Look at all of them." He scoffed as he sat in the preferred seating area, overlooking the majority of the club. "Goku said he had a girlfriend now, but I wouldn't have believed it if I wasn't seeing it with my own eyes." The man beside him chuckled mockingly as his eyes were drawn to the same spectacle of bumping and grinding foolish teenagers on the dance floor below, to which his friend was referring.

"Yeah, well. Your dumb brother does seem to pull off miracles from time to time." The larger man commented facetiously while leaning back in his chair and tracing the line of his mustache with his fingers.

"Nappa," he grumbled disbelievingly as he leaned further forward to take an even closer look at the actions of the teenagers he had so kindly allowed into the club, "this is beyond a miracle. Almost every one of them has a girl." He looked at Nappa, whose gaze was averted by a passing skirt, which Raditz couldn't hold against him. Nappa raised a brow as he finally processed Raditz's comment, and then he laughed as he looked at the group again. "And they're in fucking military school. How the hell did this happen?" Raditz added as Nappa scratched his chin with a stupid look on his face, like if he thought any harder he would hurt himself. Sometimes Raditz wondered why he associated with that moron.

"You got me." Nappa replied with a shrug. Nappa peered closer to the group, moving his scratching hand from his scruffy chin to his bald head as Raditz rolled his eyes. Like Nappa was difficult to stump. "Some of your brother's friends look like freaks. I'm surprised they'd ever be able to get a girl!" As Nappa laughed, Raditz had to join in with his own laughter. It was so true. "Look at the bald midget with the hot blonde." Nappa said with a demonstrative extended palm in the group's direction. Raditz looked at the pair embracing one another on the dance floor before meeting Nappa's expectant gaze and raising his brows in agreement. "I mean, how the fuck did that happen?" Nappa chuckled again as he leaned back in his chair once more, reaching into his jacket pocket. Raditz smirked as he caught sight of Vegeta on the dance floor, probably the only respectable one of the whole bunch. He was being secretively groped by his girlfriend, and clearly enjoying it while he thought no one was watching.

"I see you." Raditz commented under his breath as he smirked at the lewd display. Vegeta might have been more respectable than the others, but with his attitude, it was almost more unbelievable that he got a girl than any of those uglier losers. Raditz turned to face Nappa as the guy was just returning his cigarette pack into his pocket, one already protruding from his mouth as he planned to light it.

"You can't smoke in here." Raditz informed Nappa dully. Nappa lowered his chin and looked disbelievingly at Raditz.

"Fuck the rules." Raditz shrugged in agreement before reaching his hand towards Nappa.

"Give me one of those." As Raditz accepted the cigarette, he set his sights on the kids again.

Because that was what they were. Kids who needed to be monitored in his place of business. Immature idiots who played games and complicated the hell out of things for stupid reasons. Like their dumb fake ID scam. Anyone could've seen that from a mile away, and all they had to do was ask big brother Raditz and get whatever booze they were looking for in the club. His brother was such a dumbass sometimes.

Even the girls acted like idiots. Call girls. That card was pretty damn convincing, along with that call girl persona the blue haired girl emulated that night. Obviously, now, Raditz could see they were just a bunch of repressed boarding school chicks looking for some dick. They would have never succeeded on their own.

Raditz accepted the lighter from Nappa and watched its flame in front of his face for a second before inhaling the lovely nicotine that would fill his lungs and improve his mood for the evening. As he exhaled and watched the swirling cloud of smoke skim through the air in front of him, a realization hit.

"I know how this happened." Raditz said as he tossed his head back with a smug smile. Nappa removed his cigarette from his mouth to frown at him. "It was me." Nappa shook his head and snorted in amusement before returning his cigarette to his lips again. "No, really," Raditz continued, "if I hadn't let my brother and all his little friends in here, and then helped that little chicken shit with getting the girl's number..." Raditz said with a point of his finger to the dark-haired kid who was grinding on a different blue-haired girl than the original for some reason (Raditz wasn't going to think too deep into that one), "none of those guys would've gotten laid until after high school." Raditz finished proudly, because he was pretty damn proud of himself. Not that his selfish idiot of a brother would ever bother to thank him for everything that he'd done. But Raditz knew where credit was due.

"You think those girls are banging them?" Nappa asked skeptically as he eyed the group again. Raditz cast only a brief glance in their direction. He'd had enough of looking at them, though the eye candy of the girls had made it entertaining up to that point.

"Yeah." He shrugged indifferently. Judging by the call girl scheme, and the way they'd all been hanging all over each other all night, and the fact that they were hormonal teenagers, deprived of the opposite sex's company for so long, of course they'd be fucking.

"Which one do you like? I think I'd bang the blonde with long hair. She looks spunky." After coughing the cigarette smoke he had inhaled too harshly, Raditz chuckled at Nappa's comment. "Then again, the other blonde is pretty good, too. Ah, but I'd really like to fuck your brother's girlfriend." Nappa smirked while he eyed the girl dragging a resistant Goku by the hands to the center of the dance floor. "She's gotta be pretty aggressive to get his oblivious ass in the sack, right?" Nappa chuckled while Raditz smiled and dismissively shook his head before blowing out another puff of smoke.

"They're teenagers, Nappa."

"They're eighteen, aren't they?" Nappa responded without hesitation. Raditz shrugged. If that was the case, he was partial to bluenettes, himself. Both of those girls were very bangable. Raditz's attention was diverted from the conversation when a lovely redhead strutted past, giving him the fuck-me eyes. Blue was good, but red wasn't bad, either.

"Hi." She said to him huskily before averting her gaze and seating herself at another nearby table. When the woman returned her attention to him, Raditz smirked back at her and withdrew his cigarette from his mouth, before shoving it forcefully into the the bottom of his empty water glass and putting it out.

"I'm sorry, Sir. You can't smoke here." A timid voice sounded right after that, clearly directed towards Nappa. Raditz glanced in that direction to see a younger, scrawny guy smiling hesitantly at Nappa, some new employee whose name he hadn't bothered to learn yet. Nappa glared intimidatingly at the poor fool.

"Go shove it up your ass." Nappa responded harshly as the young employee grimaced and scooted off. Raditz chuckled before returning his gaze to the redhead, who still had her eyes fixed on him. "I'll tell you one thing, Raditz." Nappa added as he followed Raditz's gaze and interestedly scrutinized the young woman as well. Raditz frowned warningly at Nappa as he picked up on that look before Nappa continued. "I'm glad I never went to military school. I don't think I would've survived with no women around when I was a teenager!"

"Tell me about it." Raditz chuckled in relaxed agreement. "The world needs women." Raditz turned to smirk at the woman again, who was already out of her seat and walking away, though she threw an inviting glance over her shoulder at Raditz as she did so. "I'll see you around, Nappa." Raditz said as he kept his gaze fixed on the woman and stood from his seat. He adjusted his jacket and slicked back his hair before chasing after the beautiful ass of that gorgeous redhead.

He was no teenager. He would be a man, make his intentions obvious and go straight for the kill. His days of high school games and schemes were long over. He'd have to show his brother how it was done in the real world sometime. But then again, he had a feeling that his brother and all his foolish friends were done with the games as well.

"Hey, Red." Raditz said with a confident smirk as he reached for the woman and smoothly wrapped his hand around her waist.

"Hey, yourself." She replied with a sly smile as she leaned into Raditz, unsurprised by his hands or his sudden approach.

"Name's Raditz. I work here. Let me get you a drink." Raditz told her as they began walking off together.

"Oh, really? Sounds like we're in the same line of business. I'm a hostess at The Lookout." The woman replied with a flirtatious giggle as she groped her fingers around Raditz's bicep. Raditz chuckled darkly in response to her flirtation. He already knew that his brother's and all his friends' evenings would end well that night. Of course, now it could only end happily for Raditz as well.

A/N: That's the end! It was a fun story to write; these couples are fun in any universe. Had to throw in Raditz at the end, because I didn't forget about him. Thank you to everyone who reviewed and faved/followed, especially those of you who reviewed regularly. I love to know that this had people laughing, which was the whole point of the story.