Spider in the House

A/N: a humorous short inspired by a tweet I read by Official_Bucky regarding Spiderman's recent return to the MCU. Trigger Warnings for people who don't like spiders.

Bucky woke with a start in his room within the catacombs that were the new Avengers headquarters. Something wasn't quite right. He could feel it.

Without moving, he scanned the room, listening carefully for the slightest sound. His eyes didn't detect any intruder and so he cautiously sat up, throwing his legs over the edge of the bed.

That's when he saw it.

Barnes's feet didn't even touch the floor before he let out a roar of sound, "STEVE!"

Rogers, who occupied the apartment next door, heard the muffled yell for help through the thick concrete walls and stopped, mid shave, foam clinging to his chin and cheeks. Eyes wide, he sprinted for the door with Bucky's key and his shield.

Throwing the door open wide to Barnes' apartment, he stormed in like a tidal wave, "What is it, Bucky?! Are you ok?" Rogers' mind was thinking the worst, a PSTD relapse or some post-frost maladjustment to the twenty first century.

"Over here!" James called, with the slightest of tremors in his tone.

Cap thought it's been decades since he heard that pitch in Barnes' voice. The last time was when they were mere boys in the basement of Steve's tenement doing laundry. It was dank, dark, smelly and full of ….

Spiders.

Steve wound his way through the great room, past the kitchen and towards the bedrooms. "Bucky, I'm right here. What's wrong?"

Bucky was coiled up on the mattress, clenching his bed sheets like a child, hair wild and unkempt from waking. There was slight tremor in his muscles as if the sight before him would send him over the edge. He didn't even notice the comical sight of Steve in his boxers and undershirt with foaming soap dripping from his half shaved face, shield raised for battle.

"Kill it. Kill it, STEVE!" Barnes hissed through chattering teeth.

"Kill what, Bucky." Rogers asked trying to keep the laugh out of his voice.

"THAT! That 8 legged abomination! Kill it!" Barnes seethed not taking his eyes off the tiny arachnid on the floor.

"Buck, it's barely the size of a nickel. You're … a lot bigger than that." Cap relaxed his stance, "I thought you were over this." Steve was openly chuckling at Barnes.

"You know Steve, some things die hard." Bucky spared a fast glance at his best friend and then fixated on the spider again.

The tiny jumping spider crawled a few centimeters towards Barnes. Bucky gave a rather undignified squeal, "Kill it!"

Cap lost his composure and began to laugh out loud, dropping his shield with a loud clang and clutching his middle. Bucky unleashed a string of expletives aimed at both Steve and the spider.

"Hey… um, is everything ok here?" a teen aged voice behind them interrupted the unusual scene.

Steve snapped up straight as Bucky kept his eyes on the spider not caring there was a stranger in his apartment.

"And you are?" Steve asked firmly in his baritone, not recognizing the lanky teen standing behind him. The boy stood sloppily, hands jammed into his red hoodie, slim jeans betraying how lithe he was for his age. Rogers wondered for a brief moment if Stark had a son.

The kid looked past Rogers, following the terrified gaze of Barnes then exclaimed, "Would you look at that! A Phidippus audax! Swooping in past the super soldier, he deftly scooped up the tiny spider with the bright iridescent chelicera. The spider turned to look at the kid as if recognized him. "I'm surprised to see this little guy so far underground."

Bucky seemed to stop breathing now seeing that someone was actually touching and talking about the spider and not killing it. His eyes were as large as dinner plates. Another wave of tremors passed over his body.

The boy seemed to be talking to himself, seemingly unaware he was standing in the bedroom of the Winter Soldier with Captain America.

"And you are?" Steve repeated more menacingly. A dollop of shaving cream fell to the floor from his chin with a wet splat.

The teen stopped admiring the spider and looked up, running a hand through his shaggy brown hair giving Rogers a strange look before replying, "Oh. Sorry. Peter. Peter Parker. You know… Spiderman?" A twinkle of mischief at his coincidental pun flashed in his impish eyes. As an afterthought, Parker extended the spider-less hand for a shake. Cap took the shake firmly, "I heard some noise and the door was open so I decided to see what was going on."

"Well, we appreciate it." Steve smiled at the teen seeing he was a nice kid, "I'm Steve Rogers and this is my best friend, Bucky Barnes." The boy took a glance over his shoulder at Barnes, still folded up on the bed, still as a stone.

Peter was youthfully unimpressed with his new acquaintances but asked Barnes, "Afraid of spiders?" Parker inched a bit closer with the tiny spider on his hand.

"You have no idea." Barnes hissed, paralyzed with terror. The plates of his mechanical arm rippled with tension.

"It goes back to an incident when we were kids. I think though, it'd be best if you could do us a favor." Cap interjected. Parker looked at him, "Could you please remove this little fella so my friend can calm down?"

The endless pranks behind Parker's eyes dimmed and he appeared a little deflated, "Sure. But wait till I get this on Twitter. 'Winter Soldier terrified of spiders.' Or do you prefer Instagram?"

"I suggest you get out –" Barnes began to regress somewhat into the Winter Soldier.

"Before he gets out of bed." Cap finished for him, positioning himself between James and Parker. Who knows what Bucky was going to do.

"Ok. I get it. Nice meeting you." Peter carried the diminutive spider out of the apartment on his hand.

Steve followed and closed the door behind him.

Returning to the bedroom, Steve picked up his shield, "You ok now?"

Barnes scanned the floor like a laser for any more then began to relax when he saw none, "Yeah. Boy do I feel like a fool."

"We all have our fears. It's ok." Steve smirked.

"So we have a Spiderman on the team?" Barnes asked as he began to untangle himself from his bed, "What kind of fresh hell is this?"

Rogers laughed, "Don't worry. He just acts like a spider. He's human."

"Ugh. Why can't he be Cat-boy or Puppy-guy? Spiderman? Really?" Bucky commented.

Cap laughed again, "Well, if we're ok here, I'm going to finish shaving."

"Fine. Get out of here, punk." Barnes groused.

"Call me if you need me, jerk." Steve returned, "I'll slay your eight legged demons."

"I'll have a chat with Stark, that slumlord, about pest management, or I'm not living here." James quipped.

"Ok, Buck. Sure thing." Rogers smiled and left.

Bucky poured some coffee and looked around his place. Maybe he'll get Peter to call all his friends and tell them to bug off. Bug off. Right. Smiling he sipped his coffee when cobweb spider descended from the ceiling.

The cup didn't hit the floor before Barnes's voice pierced the walls, "PARKER!"