A/N: Serious question, guys. I really don't have a vision of where I want this story to go, so I was thinking of making it like a request/prompt sort of thing? Like you guys give me a phrase/idea/word and I turn it into a chapter and sort of shape it all into one big story. I don't know, but if you guys are interested let me know and start sending your prompts!

Chapter 9 – She's Getting On My Nerves

JPOV

I slide out of the car gracefully, focusing my willpower on not slamming the door too hard – my poor car hadn't done anything wrong.

Despite the fact that I'd only yelled for my wife and her partner in assholery, everyone but Emmett came rushing outside. Carlisle and Esme looked worried and confused, Rose looked like a bitch (as fuckin' usual), and my targets – I mean victims – I mean the fuckheads, looked arrogantly confused.

Of course.

"What the fuck were you thinking saying shit like that to Bella?"

"Jasper!" My tiny wife looks affronted. "Why are you being so rude, you know all we do is care for Bella, we'd never do anything that wasn't beneficial to he-"

I cut her off, unable to even comprehend the bullshit she's spewing.

"Beneficial? So who cares if her feelings are hurt – fuckin' trampled on – as long as your intentions were pure? Well, y'know what? I don't believe you. I don't believe any of the shit you've done to her – and me, as a matter o' fuckin' fact – was in any way for us. I think it was all for you. You and that dipshit over there. Moulding us into the perfect little spouses – y'know it's so fucked up, Bella'd never even heard my accent before! After you trained it out of me like I was some child with a bad habit. Well fuck you, I'm not gonna be your fuckin' lap dog anymore."

"Jazzy-poo, I-"

"No." I speak curtly, my voice low and determined. "We're done. If I don't even recognise myself after just over 50 years with you, I don't even wanna guess at what'll happen if I stick around for all of eternity."

Alice turned to sob into Edward's shoulder, the rest of the family having to common decency to head back inside and give us the illusion of privacy.

I'd originally intended to just chew them out for what they'd said to Bella, but all the underlying emotions that had been boiling inside of me for a while now just came spilling out. And soon I won't have a wife.

Well, fuck.

Not that I regret it. No, if anything I feel a little relieved – we weren't the same couple we used to be, at this point we were barely even tolerating each other. But what would happen with the rest of the Cullens? I certainly couldn't be expected to stick around after my little outburst, although fuck knows where I'd go. There was always Peter.

But what about Bella?

I immediately ignore the fact that the main reason I didn't want to leave was the tiny little human with the big mouth, and instead move onto other matters.

Looking straight at Edward, I let The Major slip into my voice again. "You ever fuckin' hurt her again – with even just one tiny little insult – and I will remove your dick from your body and bury it right into the ground. Deep. Somewhere it'll take you at least two centuries to find. You understand me, boy?"

I don't wait for an answer as I stroll past and head towards the house, hopeful that my family doesn't hate me quite as much as my soon-to-be ex-wife must right now.

A/N: Yup. It's been forever. Yup. It's the shortest chapter yet. Sorry, guys. I just wanted to get your opinions on the question at the top and the poll I've explained below ASAP. Also review please. Ily all.

I've created a poll and I'd seriously appreciate if you guys would take the time to answer it. It's just gonna let me know where to put my priorities writing-wise for the next couple of months, and then we can reconvene and do another one. If you could just visit my profile and select your answer(s) you'd be a star. Thank you.

Also, I didn't get a chance to answer your reviews with a sneak preview and for that I'm extremely sorry. They all made me very happy, though, and I will get back on track for the next chapter which I hope to have finished pretty soon.

I am currently looking for a Beta so if anyone's interested, just PM me!

Disclaimer: Yep, it's all me, I wrote Twilight (are you kidding me? Of course I didn't). Also, the titles of the chapters are taken from previously mentioned confidence inspiring songs. This chapter is from 'Pacify Her' by Melanie Martinez.

Thanks and kisses, Lianne.