A/N: I return! Funny story today, somebody tried to hit me with a car. So, as part of the Not Going Home stories, which includes, I might add, Not Going Home, Not looking Back, Devour, Clever Girl and the like. Someone told me to try and play the game Five Night at Freddy's and...EEP. I've only played the first one thus far and haven't been able to beat it yet-CURSE YOU NIGHT FOUR!-but I'd also thought of something while I was cowering behind my computer in abject terror.
What's better than being scared?
...reading as someone ELSE gets the shit scared out of em, that's what! And thus, an idea was born!
Now, I am proud to present the newest standalone edition to the Not Going Home series. Remember, each story is one in and of its own, which means any hints of things you see here may/or may not happen in other stories, events could or couldn't occur. But YES, it is more closely affiliated with the first "Not Going Home" as a whole than the others. So, without further stalling, I proudly present to you...
...Not Scared! Yup, title's totally ironic...its meant to be short, terrifying for our favorite blond, and utterly funny.
"Alright you little fuckers...
~?
It Begins
Five Nights at Freddy's.
I'm an undertaking this supposedly monumental challenge on a dare.
Natasha swore up and down that I didn't have the guts to do it. Wanda called me foolish, stupid, and a few other words that didn't translate quite properly. She-Hulk tossed me through a wall and I'm STILL finding claw marks after Cat's reaction to my latest stunt.
Ultron just laughed when I told him about it; pretty sure the bastard enjoys seeing me suffer ever since I slapped that restraining bolt on his ass back in the states.
Shows what they know!
They told me it would be scary. Said I would be crying by night five. I laughed at them. Reality-hopping-god, remember? I fear nothing! It is I who create the fear! I've butchered the flying dutchman, wrestled with the great Davy Jones himself and chopped off his squiddy head. I've stared Death herself in the face and done...things to her.
But this, this is new.
No powers, no reality warping beyond the occasional respawn, just me, a security guard, in a video game. The prize, you ask? Of course there's one! Why else would I risk life and limb?!
Bragging rights.
ALL THE BRAGGING RIGHTS.
And Tony...MAY have promised to build me that instant ramen suit I've always wanted. Bruce also promised me he'd share his secret cookie recipe. Don't look at me like that! How could I say no?! I'm weak! Of course, if I lose...eh...I'd rather not talk about. Pretty sure I can do this. All I have to do is last for five nights without giving up. Easy-right? Thor told me its alright to be scared. Now look, you know I'm in the dark when Point Break has played this game and I haven't.
Of course, I'm going INSIDE the very universe of the game, so the stakes are a little higher, I suppose. Just can't rage quit.
Still...
...not using my powers...
...how bad could it be?
"Soooo...this is pretty easy."
Naruto-turtled up in the security office with both doors closed-raised the screen up before his face and grinned as he gazed at the camera screen. "You're there...creepy bunny...creepy bird...creepy bear...ha! This is a piece of cake!" Wholly unfazed, he leaned back in his chair, trying his best to ignore the scent of stale pizza as the message droned at him. For the most part he paid it no heed, trying his utmost to focus on each of the screens in turn. Rules, bah! Who needed 'em! What need have he of that?!
"...bite of eighty-seven..."
"Wait, bite?" he looked up, stiffening. "WHAT BITE?! Why wasn't I informed of this?!"
"Anyhow, I'm sure you'll be fine. Well, goodnight!"
There was a silence as the voice clicked off.
"Fuck."
Only an hour in and nothing had happened. He felt the digital breeze upon his face as if it were actually there, which he supposed it was. It never even occurred to him to glance at the remaining power at first, but when he did, his stomach sank. The power bar was nowhere near where it had once been, and even as he looked on, it continued to shrink. Numbers ticked down, openly mocking him with each passing second.
Fifty percent.
"Oh, crap. Eh, its fine, I'm sure I'll be fine. Yeah-oh." The scene that awaited him on the screen had his heart plummeting to the floor with his stomach.
They were gone.
And somehow, that damned bear was looking right at him through the camera.
Its me.
Words flashed in his mind.
ME.
Wordless gibberish followed.
...aaaaaand they're not there. Aaaaand he's looking at me. Alright, calm down." he turned, scanning the leftmost door, reaching for the light switch. "You expected this, its supposed to happen, you'll be fine, just fine, completely and absolutely-JESUS! IT CAN TELEPORT! ITS A NIGHTCRAWLER!" His hand slammed down on the door button as Bonnie's gin face greeted him. "Nope nope nope nope! The bunny wants my giblets! Can't have them! They're mine! Mine, do you hear me?! MIIIIIIIIIIIINE!"
He recognized his own rant moments later, that he was screaming at a closed steel door. Tentatively probing the light, he saw the bunny's grinning face peering back at him. Evil creature! Foul creature! But he couldn't get through the door! Ha! Technology trumps monster!
"J-Just breathe." a hand rose, wiping a bead of sweat from his brow. "In. Out. In. Ouuuut. Its fine, you've got three hours to go now. You're good. Ain't nothin' gonna scare ya." Willing himself to turn, he spun the chair away from the grinning animatronic. " Mister Crazy bun bun's not getting through the door and now. So lets just check, gotta watch for the -ASSHOLE!"
Blue eyes bugged out when the grinning beast was still there to greet him when he opened the door, trying to stick its head. He palmed the button so hard he nearly broke it. The satisfying crunch was rather satisfying, he thought, watched the bastard bunny's head bounce away.
"Its wabbit season, mother fucker!" Tumbling past his foot, he gave the disembodied head a good hard kick, watching it sail out of the opposite door and into the darkness. "Bahahaha! Take that! My power is maximum! All your base belong to...to...
Peck.
Naruto froze as a harsh, tapping sound reached his ears.
Peck.
Slowly, with agonizing care, he turned. Faced the other door. Another figure stood within, holding Bonnie's broken head in its wings. Crap. Its emotionless face somehow managed to convey a supreme sense of menace, as he looked at her, unable to move in spite of himself. He really hadn't meant to kill the annoying bunny, but he hadn't regretted it. He realized his exuberance all too late, just as he recognized the bright yellow figure-being-staring right at him.
Peck.
Chica.
"DON'T WANT! DON'T WANT! DO! NOT! WANT!"
He flung himself at the door switch-
Too slow.
Peck.
Peck.
PECK.
Naruto looked up...
Peck.
...and the little bugger was staring right at him. He could've sworn he saw her grin. An eye twitched, murderously. Those blank eyes regarded him a moment longer, dread mounting.
"Fuck all kinds of du-!"
He was promptly pecked to death within minutes.
A/N: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I died writing this! DIED! It was just too easy to see Naruto spazzing out in an unfamiliar environment, let alone writing it. To clarify, he's sworn not to use his abilities in this iteration, if only to make things more interesting...and funny as hell.
So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...
...Review Would you Kindly-GAFLFAARGH. Damnit. STUPID FOX!
(Preview)
'Do not blink do not blink whatever you do, in the name of ME do not blink...!'
Naruto stared at Foxy.
Foxy stared back.
Naruto gulped.
"Hey buddy...you...you're going to bite me, aren't you."
His eyes chose that moment to blink.
Grinning, Foxy pounced!
YOINK!
With a bloodcurdling yelp, Naruto took off running.
"DAMNIT!"
The hilarity continues!
R&R~! =D