Sorry it's been such a long time for an update. Thanks to everyone who showed interest in this story so far.

It was a daunting thought. Killing yourself that is, but Kira was right. I lived in a world where I couldn't find any joy, except from her, but that's over now. I hadn't seen my mom in years.. or my brother. I may have forgot to mention that. Except with him things were much different. Two different dads. He was 38 with a teenage son and a younger daughter. He was a cop and lived in this fancy house, life for him turned out great, unlike mine. He had offered to let me stay at his place.

"Baby bro!"

"Please, not in public." Austin sighed.

"I'm just happy to see you is all."

"I know Dez, thanks for coming to pick me up."

"Anything for you man!" Dez hugged Austin. "So what brings you back into town?"

"I just uh.. missed this place."

"Really? I recall you hating it." Dez laughed opening his car door.

"I missed you and mom." Austin shrugged. "I just wanted to come visit for a while."

"Well you are always welcome here. Mom's place first?"

"Yeah, I guess." Austin said putting his seatbelt on.

"I uh, I heard about Kira. I'm sorry man." Dez gave a sympathetic smile.

"It's okay, just wasn't meant to be right?"

"You know I never liked her anyway."

"You met her once." Austin said.

"And even just from that I knew she wasn't good enough for my baby bro."

"But she was good enough, and now she's gone." Austin sighed.

"Are you alright?"

"I'll get over it." Austin waved it off. "Hey, does Gavin still live around here?"

"Gavin? The guy you used to go to high school with?" Dez asked not taking his eyes off the road. "That's the one."

"Yeah, he works at his dads garage. Why do you wanna know?"

"No reason, just figured it might be nice to see him."

"You used to hate that guy.." Dez raised an eyebrow.

"Still would be nice to see him."

"Whatever man." Dez laughed. "We're here." Dez said pulling up.

"Mom lives here?" Austin looked out the car window. "Since when?"

"Well after you left she had her heart set on this place. Her and Shelly saved every buck they could get and she just bought it."

"She's still with Shelly I guess?" Austin asked.

"Yes, now be nice." Dez said.

"I always am, besides, Shelly is cool.. I just miss dad."

"We all do.. so does mom. You know she loved him right? I'm sure she loved both our dads… but she did have two guys die on here. Maybe that's why she turned to women. And Shelly makes her happy."

"I know Dez…" Austin took a deep breath. "Well, I'll see you at your place?"

"Yeah. And don't be long, your niece is dying to meet you finally." Dez smiled.

"Yeah, thanks for the ride." Austin said closing the car door.

This wasn't home. It wasn't the house I grew up in, which made it all the more scarier. Everyone had moved on, apart from me.

"Hey mom sorry it's been like 5 and a half years, I can explain…" Austin shook his head before knocking the door.

"Well I'll be damned… if it isn't Austin Moon." The semi-familiar face of his mother's lover opened the door. "Shelly." Austin nodded.

"Ah ha!" She almost screeched. "Come in! Come in! Mimi!" She shouted ushering Austin in. "Your mom is gonna be so glad to see you!"

"I hope so.." Austin said quietly.

"AUSTIN!" His mother almost sprinted down the stairs in record speed, throwing her arms around him. "Hi mom." He laughed.

"It's been so long!" She said taking a step back. "Let me look at you. You are all grown up."

"Yeah.."

"Dez told me why you were coming back.. She obviously wasn't good enough for you."

"So everyone keeps saying." Austin sighed.

"You are staying for dinner right?" Mimi asked.

"No actually, I was gonna head out… see some old friends"

"Austin, it's been years.. can't you at least stay for dinner?" Mimi looked down.

"Mom come on.. I'm gonna be here for a while. I'll take you out to dinner tomorrow, my treat. Both of you."

"Fine.." She sighed. "I guess I can deal with that."

"Great." Austin smiled. "I will call you okay?" He kissed her cheek.

"You better."

"I will, bye Shelly." Austin flashed a quick smile before escaping.

I couldn't even spend two minutes in the house with them. Maybe it was because I knew I had broke her heart already, and I was about to do it all again. But it was better this way.

"Uh hi.. I'm looking for a Mrs Rivers, I heard she might be here." Austin asked leaning over the front desk of the unfamiliar building. "What's her first name?" The woman asked, not making eye contact with him. "Samantha." Austin replied.

"And what's your name?"

"Austin Moon." Austin smiled as she looked up at him.

"You aren't listed on this visitors list."

"Oh.. uh, well how can I get myself on that visitors list?"

"You can't unless a family member confirms."

"Can't you just let me see her?" Austin sighed.

"Mr Moon, this is a care home for the elderly. Respect the wishes of the family please."

"Look.. I'm only here in town for a little while and I really want to see her. She used to be my math teacher in high school." The woman rolled her eyes. "She really helped me a lot.. with uh maths... and stuff." Austin shrugged. "I'm afraid if I don't thank her now then I'll never get the chance."

"Fine." The woman sighed and quickly typed something. "She's in room 203, straight down the hall and to the left. Take this." The woman handed him a visitors badge which he placed around his neck. "Thank you." He smiled before rushing down the hall and locating the room. "That was easier than I thought." He said to himself before opening the door.

Mrs Rivers, as he knew her, lay on the bed before him. There was some old black and white movie playing on the small TV that sat in the corner. She didn't look at him as he closed the door behind him. "Hi Mrs Rivers." He said walking closer to her. "You remember me? I'm Austin Moon." He paused looking around the room. "I was in your math class Senior year… you remember that?" He looked down at her. "You ignoring me? huh? You made my life a fucking misery." He raised his voice a little. "And I think you know that." He waited for some sarcastic response, but nothing came. "Well say something!" He shouted. "You can't seriously just sit there and pretend I'm not here." He stood in front of the TV but her stare never moved once. "Do something you old bitch!"

"Excuse me!"

He spun around to see a girl his age standing at the door. "What the hell are you doing here shouting at my grandma?" The girl asked.

"I uh.. uh.." He looked down.

"Get the hell out!"

"I'm sorry!" He said rushing over to the door.

"Wait.. your Austin Moon?" The girl looked at him.

"Yeah.." Austin looked at her.

"We were in the same photography class. Ally Dawson."

"I don't think I remember you.." Austin looked her up and down.

"Well that's not important right now, why are you shouting at my grandma?"

"I can explain.."

"Look I'm sorry." Austin said sitting down opposite Ally. "I uh.. I'm back into town to try and tie up some loose ends."

"And shouting at an old lady was one?" Ally asked.

"No.. it's not like that.. well I guess." He sighed. "She used to make my life a misery. As if I wasn't uncool enough already, she went out her way to make sure that I'd suffer. I just wanted some sort of explanation I guess."

"I know." Ally stopped him. "I know what she was like… that was before she got ill."

"What is uh.. what's wrong with her?" Austin asked burying his head in his cup of coffee.

"Alzheimer's." Ally sighed. "After my parents died she took it really bad.. she worked herself up about it and I suppose the stress just wasn't good for her."

"Man I'm sorry.." Austin looked at her. "You know, I do remember you. You took the photo's at prom right?"

"That would be the prom you knocked over the bowl of punch at?" Ally laughed.

"Yeah." Austin smiled. "Look I'm really sorry.. I didn't know she was that bad. I thought she would slap me or something."

"She hasn't really moved in a long time.." Ally looked down. "But I'm sure she was laughing at you inside."

"Probably." Austin smiled.

"So.. I still don't get what brings you back into town."

"I uh… It doesn't matter. Do you know where Gavin works?"

"Gavin Young?" Ally raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, him."

"Did he used to.. bully you?"

"Which is exactly why I wanna see him." Austin looked down into his coffee.

"Are you going to beat him up or something?" Ally laughed and Austin looked up at her. "Austin, seriously? You come in town to shout at my grandma and now you want to beat up an old bully? Why did you come back here."

"Honestly, you wouldn't believe me if I told you." He shrugged.

"Try me."

"If I tell you, you can't tell anyone else." Austin sat up.

"Secrets, I can keep them." Ally shrugged.

"I uh.. man I can't." Austin shook his head. "You wouldn't understand."

"You can't tell me you're going to tell me something then not tell me." Ally laughed. "Come on, it can't be that bad. Did you discover you had a secret child and came to meet them?" Austin shook his head. "Did you steal from someone and now you're here to make amends?"

"No." Austin said.

"Then what brought you back to this boring old town?"

"I'm going to kill myself."