The ride to Skyhold was long and treacherous, and that's putting it lightly. We didn't take a straight route to Skyhold as I thought we would. Instead, we detoured through dense jungles in search of fade rifts and steep mountainsides to help travelers and various allies to the inquisition. As the days passed and the dangers came and left, I found myself more and more irritable and anxious to meet up with my clan within the walls of the Inquisition's headquarters.

When we did walk onto the drawbridge leading inside the encampment, Fen hunched low to the ground and whimpered, making my skin crawl. There was a patch of dried blood not far from the grand doorway, and a blind man stood at the ready with a brood of men behind him. At first, I mentally prepared myself for battle, but then I saw the men were not angry or armed in any way.

They were solemn.

"Cullen?" The Inquisitor hopped off her horse faster than I could blink, "what's happened?"

"We got word of the caravan lead by the wolves too soon to warn the men properly. We- I am so sorry Inquisitor, the men assumed when they saw the wolves-"

I was off my own horse in a split second, electricity running through my veins and flames burning in my chest.

"What happened!?" I screamed, my voice echoing off the walls and causing the soldiers to jump out of their skin.

"Two of the wolves leading the pack were killed in the commotion, three are being tended to in the med-"

"Where are my people?!" My voice started to crack and I could feel the tears starting to burn behind my eyes, "Take me to them immediately!"

Everyone froze, watching me. The one called Cullen silently motioned for me to follow him, avoiding eye contact. His face was scrunched as if it was taking everything in him not to yell back.

He brought me to a hovel where the people from my clan who had decided to come were situated, their faces grim. I saw three of the younger pups lying sideways on rolled mats, panting heavily and whimpering whenever one of the Inquisition's healers would come close. Off to the side on wooden stretchers were Naria and Kaleth. They lay stiff and still, blood caked to their fur in blackish chunks, obviously from arrows. Rage and hurt burned behind my eyes and I took hissing breaths to try and calm myself. This was no time for crying.

"How did this happen?" My voice cracked, increasing my rage, "why were your people uninformed?" I whirled on the Inquisitor, "Your incompetence has killed two of my people and wounded three on simply entering your city, how do you expect any trust from me or any of my people?"

The Inquisitor seemed at a loss for words, opening her mouth to speak but quickly closing it again, her mind clearly whirling around the severity of the situation.

I turned from them, "leave me, and take the healers along with you. I will attend to my wounded alone." The Inquisitor jerked her head at Cullen and hey made his way out the door.

"I know this won't mean much, but I'm sorry for your loss. If I would have known this could have happened, I never would have let your people come here. I would never want to put your clan in danger." She paused for a moment before motioning to the healers to leave and then seeing herself out as well. No sooner did the doors close, I was on my knees and the healers from my clan came flocking around to nurture the wounds of our pups and give them healing salves to numb the pain. Once they were as comfortable as possible, Ja'nel, one of the birthing maidens for the wolves, came over to me and guided me to where the pups were kept.

"Malena has taken to feeding the pups in Naria's place" she sighed, "they are still healthy. You should take to your quarters." She leaned in to whisper in my ear, "I know you're breaking on the inside Praetor. Take some time to yourself to prepare, we have everything under control here in the meantime." I hugged her without thinking. Ja'len had been the one to give me my title when the previous praetor had passed. She had been my mentor and friend since I was able to walk.

"Thank you." I breathed, looking over to see Akia and Tiranus rubbing their nuzzles against Naria's and Kaleth's fur, their soft whimpers wrapping my heart in sharp wire and making it hard to control the tears threatening to surface. I cracked open the door to a hallway lined with rooms and they broke away, heads slouched and sluggish as they followed me down the hall and into my room, rubbing against my legs and whining.

I slid the deadbolt home and collapsed on the floor amongst their fur, sobbing and curling with them, muffling my cries. They howled, a painful, soul-wrenching sound that vibrates in their chest and sent a chill down my spine. Not far in the distance, I heard the other wolves cry out in response, some louder with anger and others softer with despair. Every voice made the tightness in my heart harder until I could barely breathe around the lump in my throat.

/Line break/

The Inquisitor was more than willing to fetch everything and anything my people asked for in preparation for the funeral. I sit on my knees in front of the wooden plank where Naria and Kaleth lay on a bed made of leaves and herbs. So many pups to lose their mother because of ignorance. Kaleth was our best hunter in the pack. So much promise pissed away because of mislead arrows.

Their fur is soft and cold. They died and I wasn't there to stop it. I wasn't there.

What if the news had never traveled? How many more could have been lost? What if they were thought of as an enemy attack and all my people and all the wolves were taken down one by one?

I shook the thoughts from my mind and slapped myself. I couldn't be that cruel. There could have been a thousand reasons for what had happened, and we had already been given more than enough sorrow filled pleas for forgiveness by the soldiers.

It could have been worse.

Silent tears drew harsh lines down the sides of my face as I lit the pyre. The wolves howled out to the skies as we joined as a clan to mourn the loss of our comrades. Even the Inquisitor and Solas attended in giving offerings to their spirits. Despite my reluctance to accept their original apologies for the loss, words cannot describe how much that meant to me.

The next night, I dined alone with the Inquisitor and her advisors and we managed to come to an agreement and an understanding about what had occurred when my people had arrived. After some careful deliberation, I decided to allow the Inquisition a second chance under the condition that my people were to stay in their own space of skyhold away from the rest, free to mingle about only if they wish, and there to be proper training about our wolves and how to fight alongside them without putting them in any more danger.

Three days went on for what seemed like an eternity before the Inquisitor sent word for me to meet with her for my first official job. It wasn't anything spectacular, I was to follow her and a few of her other companions to a small village on a remote mountainside in order to retrieve supplies for courtyard repair.

When I arrived with my horse, I recognised Bull and Varric immediately, but I felt sort of lost when I didn't see Solas' face in the small crowd. It was an odd feeling, like I had come to visit a friend who had left town before my arrival. The thought made me both sad and nervous. I had only met any of the Inquisitor's comrades for a small amount of time, but something about that elf in particular seemed to brand itself in the deepest recess of my brain. Even during my mourning, I felt a distinct pull towards walking up the grand stairs into the throne room and stepping into his office to see him.

Have I gone mad? Could I be cursed? Bewitched? It certainly could not be any work of blood magic, or I would have felt it immediately. Nor could it be a demon or spirit within me, I would have purged myself at the slightest hint of either.

Could it be…

No. I will not mask this as some extreme form of admiration. There's too much to be done and too many bigger problems for me to be acting in such a manner.

The third person joining us in this endeavor was a young man wearing a fairly large hat who seemed to hover over the ground as if he were light as air. He was introduced to me as Cole, and by the look of his daggers poised mere centimeters from his palms, I guessed he was rogue in nature. He seemed to talk aloud to himself a lot, telling of stories and thoughts long since forgotten. The Inquisitor had pulled me aside earlier in the week in order to explain the nature of the young man, and I have to admit I was skeptical at first. He seemed like a very kind young man, nonetheless, so I instinctively rode beside him a little closer than I would have anyone else.

I didn't assume a straight route of travel, but I still found it quite annoying how many detours the Inquisitor demanded we take in order to help so many people on the way, whether they wanted our help or not. By the time we made it to the village, I couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped me. Tiranas, Akia and Fen all circled my horse when we came to a halt, bellies low to the ground and shoulders tense. At first, I took this as anxiety from the events at the Stronghold gates, but then a sharp pain echoed in the back of my mind.

"Stop!" I snapped without meaning, "Don't get off your horses. Something's wrong here."

"Twisting, running, burning. The flames long since died down, the heart beats still. They hunger and ache and hurt." Cole groaned out, fidgeting with his bridle while he spoke.

"What is it Cole?" The Inquisitor shuffled closer to him, her voice calm and motherly.

"Inquisitor!" a soldier came running from around the bend, "Inquisitor! Urgent news!"

The Inquisitor came off her horse and I could barely hear the conversation between them, Cole's mumbling distracting me. He seemed overly anxious, fiddling with the bridle in his hands and shifting nervously while constantly muttering under his breath. Tiranas, Akia and Fen were worrying me as well, forming a protective triangle around my horse and tipping their nuzzles close to the ground, teeth just slightly bared in preparation for a fight.

Just when I started to move down off my horse, I was flung by a wave of energy that hit me square in the chest.

I was able to call out just enough of a spell to whisk air under me and balance myself so I could land on my feet and take a running go back towards everyone else. My mind was trying to process everything at once, demons seeming to pop out from every crack in the ground, the bright green of the fade rip in the distance, the sounds of fighting not far from me. I started unraveling my coils of metallic thread from my arms under my sleeves, gripping the triangles of steel and readying words of flame under my tongue. If I could just get back to my horse, I could reach my swords or my bow or anything to help in the fight.

Another wave of energy soared at me in the form of a green puff of smoke. This time, I was able to dive roll under it and disband the energy, counteracting it and letting it absorb into my skin as a power source rather than an injury. I cradled it against my sternum, allowing it to freely move about and repair what the previous blow had accomplished beforehand.

A demon came out nearly directly under my feet, and I somersaulted over to the side to avoid it's long finger-like claws that extended towards my calves. With a quick flick of my wrist, a blade soared into the thing's skull, latching onto where it's eyes should have been if it had any. With a single breath, fire ignited across the thread and soaked into the demon's body like water in cloth, and I barely had to pull in order to remove the blade from the charred remnants of the beast's head.

Finally, I reached my horse and without skipping a beat, I was unlatching my weapons and clicking them in place onto my person. Thank the gods my horse was not one to flee without command.

I spun around to survey the battlefield and quickly located the riff off in the distance, the focal point of the battle. It's crazy how far away these demons are coming in, considering the small stature of the rift. I drew my bow, lacing a few arrows with a couple of dabs of poison quickly before hurtling myself towards where the Inquisitor and the others were fighting towards the huge green tear in the air. Running and archery is tricky, but with enough adrenaline and practice, you can at least get a slight upper hand against your enemy before they require hand-to-hand combat to finish them off.

By the time I managed to get to the others, we all spread out around the inquisitor to defend her while she reached up and slid the rift shut with her mark. The satisfying sight of demons dissolving into thin air is unbeatable in times like these, and I laid back in the grass in my content with the silence that stretched out after the battle.

"You alright?" I looked over to see Varric coming over to me, "that blow you took was some powerful shit."

"I'm alright," I smiled, "I've already healed my chest, I'll be fine."

"You might wanna rethink that Sunshine," Varric laughed lightly, hands drumming over Bianca as he checked her switches and bowstring. I looked down to see a gash on my calf stretching all the way from down to about an inch above my ankle. Blood dripped from the wound when I breathed, the wound itself clumped with chunks of coagulated blood.

I sighed painfully, rifling through my pack for a swig of a lyrium drought, followed by a cloth to clean the wound of all the coagulated chunks and a swiftly muttered spell to heal the wound. Pain shot through my spine as the wound closed, and I bandaged the wound careful not to touch the still raw skin too roughly. After my bandaging, I popped some elfroot leaves into my mouth to chew so it could dull the pain and help fight any infection. It wasn't serious enough to take any elfroot potion.

"Is everyone alright?" I heard the Inquisitor ask, and it took me a moment to realise she had been talking to some villagers before and they were all staring at our group, some even cheering at us for saving them. Bull was hunched over on a rock, looking rather happy, and Cole was nowhere to be found, although Varric told me that was a usual thing for him. Tiranas and Fen were covered from head to toe in grime and splatters of blood and what looked like ichor, and Akia had a very minor wound on her hind quarters, easily solved with a small splash of water to clean and smear of medical wax to seal it up.

I drowned out the sounds around me as I propped myself up onto a boulder and inspected my weapons. My bow was fine, my tiny corded daggers still as good as they had been at the beginning of the fight. My two sheathed daggers were a bit roughed up and I had to clean blood from the blades, and my mage's staff was still safely strapped to the side of my shoulder, although there was a chunk of wood missing from one end, throwing off the balance ever so slightly. I'll have to carve the other end later to even it out again.

I fell into the inquisitor's routine, wandering the village and speaking with inquisition soldiers until we took off on the long road once more.