Chapter 38 – 5 Years Later

"When you love what you have, you have everything you need."

There was a moment that I knew I had absolutely everything I needed in my life. It was a moment of clarity and I knew I never wanted to return to a previous life. I knew that everything had happened for a reason: Collin got cancer because I was destined to meet Troy. My mom died to make me stand up on my own two feet. I didn't choose to tell Collin's dad so that I could spend more time with Collin and one day just sitting there it hit me: I loved my life.

Everything about my life I adored. I adored my children. I adored my husband. I wouldn't change a thing about my life no matter what the past had happened. I also never wanted to add to what I have because I never wanted to throw off the balance. I was lucky to have Troy in my life. I was lucky to have Collin. I was lucky to have two more kids who I adored so much. I protected them. I loved them. I never abused the time I was using with them. I never wished time to go faster and I just lived in the moment.

If Collin's cancer taught me anything, it taught me how to hold to the amount of time that I have. It taught me to love endlessly and to never think that there is more time out there. There isn't more time and there are only precious moments. I happily took part in everything I could do, I worked, I played, and I was happy.

I have everything I need.

Absolutely everything.

Friday, August 14th, 2020

I took a sip of my wine as I briefed my newest case after talking to my client today. I felt the beach air on my face with salt mixed in and I looked up to see the sun long gone and the moon was letting the ocean glow still. It was late but I knew he was still coming home tonight. It wasn't his turn to do a late night shift but I looked at my watch and I wondered where he was. "Looking for me?" I tilted my head back to see Troy walking in pulling his tie off.

I smiled and nodded my head as he bent down kissing the top of my head. "How were the kids today?" he asked me, I smiled, "Great. Becca sent me a new case today," I said wiggling my eyebrows and Troy gave me one of those looks, "Gabs, you just had a baby four weeks ago. Don't you think you should be taking it easy?" I shook my head, "No. I should be going back to work soon." Troy laughed, "Brie, I can provide for both of us. You really need to take it easy. Your pregnancy wasn't easy."

My eyes rolled in a giant circle causing Troy to laugh. He turned towards the ocean and watched it for a minute before getting up and pushing forward. "I am going to check on the kids and then we can sneak off to the bedroom to take a big nap." I laughed as he disappeared up the stairs as I thought about the last five years. Four and half years ago we moved to Miami right before the birth of our middle child – Makas Finn Bolton. We called him Mak for short and he was a sweet little four-year-old who reminded me of Collin so, so much. He had the same bold brown eyes with the same exact laugh.

Makas was welcomed during an April shower that lasted three days straight flooding the roads. Troy and I were fighting the floods trying to get to the hospital in time to have Mak but by the time we got to the hospital I was crowning and had him in the Emergency room with zero pain killers. Troy and I had decided on a name pretty easily because we googled two words: hope and faith. It had come down to either Makas or Von and we just loved Makas a little bit more.

After a couple of year living in Florida and Makas getting bigger Troy and I had decided that we wanted one more kid together. Our first month trying we landed pregnant and we were so excited. I was working in a great job at a law firm doing what I did in Colorado working for a family practice. Troy easily got a job as a pediatric oncologist trying all over again in a new area and he was going a wonderful job.

He had bad days and good days but he always had us to come home too. He came home and we would talk about his bad days and he would lean on me for support. It was a better foundation and we were very good when we both needed support. We both knew how to balance each other and we were having so much fun the past five years with each other. I never regretted my marriage to Troy and I never will because even with Collin's cancer diagnosis, Troy Bolton was the best thing that ever happened to me. Collin got cancer but I found the love of my life.

It was the worst year of our lives but we made it through and we came out united as a family.

"Caroline said mommy, mommy," I tilted my head back and Troy was cradling four-week old Caroline Baker Bolton. She was a beautiful blessing to our family and has been a joy to grow with. She was happy baby who nursed on a schedule already and loved her daddy tremendously. Troy cried holding her for the first time as she was graced with blue eyes for now, the doctor warned him that they could change but we both knew they were going to take after Troy's eyes.

Troy sat down next to me as Caroline cuddled on his chest, "Makas is passed out per normal, sprawled on his belly with his blanket tucked tightly in his hands." I smiled thinking of him and I glanced over at him, "Collin?" I questioned and Troy smiled, "Sleeping per normal. He is curled on his side, but when I kissed his forehead he stirred for a moment." I smiled thinking of our nine-year-old son who adored all of his siblings.

The night that I cried and told Collin that he could stop fighting was the moment that things started to turn up. Collin began to breath better and the drugs began to work better. He made a quick turn that overwhelmed all of us. I cried so many tears of joy as he began to become normal Collin over the days and months that it took for him to recover. The cancer slowly disappeared and vanished before our eyes.

He had routine treatments every three months but it still allowed him to keep his hair and to be a young boy still. He played soccer and basketball whenever he had the chance. He loved to run on the beach and play in the sand and he was still alive and breathing. We never had another cancer scare but we maintain it very well. Brynn's treatments saved his life and it was now how most neuroblastoma was treated anymore. Troy used the treatment all the time and saw much better outlooks on children.

Collin only had to worry about cancer every three months when he went in for testing and routine treatments to help keep all cancer away. We were never taking any chances and the amount of chemo that he received was minimal and never had many side effects. "Can you believe it has almost been five years?" Troy looked up at me and he smiled nodding his head, "I am glad it has been five years. The reoccur rate after five years is so low Gabs,"

"Troy, he basically came back from the dead though. I am so scared one of these three months will be different." I whispered, Troy sighed and came over to me as he sat on my lap. Caroline was sleeping again and Troy sighed, "Brynn called me and talked about ending his routine chemo and I panicked because what if that is what is keeping him alive y'know? I would hate for the cancer to come back because he probably wouldn't be able to beat it this time around." I looked at Troy with a panic and he smiled, "But Brynn reassured me that we would do this slowly."

"How so?" I asked quietly, "Try going every six months instead of every three months, he would still go in on that three months for scans to have a baseline along with his blood work. He would go back monthly for his blood work to be checked until we came to that six-month mark and we would do scans and do a dosage of chemo that would be smaller than what he is on now. We would move his appointments to every so often and we would see if less chemo will still let him be cancer free. One spot of cancer of sign of cancer we start treatments again back in full force."

I inhaled and closed my eyes because worry spread through my stomach. "I almost lost him once Troy, I cannot lose him again."

"We'll go slow." He said quietly to me, "We can do one more treatment and then start it, okay? It has been five years without a spot of cancer coming back. Some kids never made it this far." I sighed and I nodded my head as I reached for Caroline's foot as she reached and kicked me. I smiled at her as I yawned, "We should probably be going to bed. Collin has a soccer game tomorrow morning." Troy nodded his head while snuggling with Caroline.

"I have to go into work for a while tomorrow." I wanted to protest but I knew that it came with the territory. There were nights that I would pull long shifts at the office and Troy had to be home with the kids. We were trading turns.

"But Sunday," Troy started, I looked at him and he smiled, "We are having a family day Sunday," I laughed, "Good. I think we could all use a family day together. I miss you terribly." Troy smiled and stood up from my lap as he rubbed his eyes from a long day of work. We both began to walk inside when I heard noise from Collin's room. "Go check on him while I give her a bottle." I agreed as I walked up the stairs and quietly opened Collin's door.

He was sitting up in bed rubbing his eyes, "Co, you okay?" I asked and he yawned, "Yea, I thought Dad was in here." I smiled rubbing my hand through his hair. "He was. He came in to check on you." Collin smiled and he rested back on his bed while I rubbed his shoulder. "You have a big game in the morning. You better get to sleep." Collin smiled because he really enjoyed playing soccer more than anything else.

"Can Tate come over after the game to play?" he asked me and I smiled nodding, "Probably. Your dad has to go into work for a little while tomorrow so I don't see why not." Collin pouted slightly an I shook my head, "It's okay, we are having a family day on Sunday." Collin released a smile this time and I kissed his forehead. "Good night big guy," he snuggled up with his pillow and blankets as I cracked his door on my way out.

I walked into our room where Troy was sitting on the bed scrolling through his phone, "Did Caroline already take her bottle?" I asked as I began to get ready for bed, "No. She didn't seem to want it." I looked over at her already asleep in her bassinet in our room. "I'll take first feeding." Troy said as he put his clothes away and plugged his phone into the charger. "Thank you," Troy nodded as I crawled into bed, Troy was close behind as he pulled me close and his lips pressed to my ear.

"I love you." He said quietly and I smiled, "I love you too."

"Get some rest, we have a soccer star to watch tomorrow." I curled up with him and his strong arms pulled me in. "Gabi, in normal sleeping position." Troy whispered and I laughed gently while I closed my eyes and smelled his skin. This was my favorite way to fall asleep, absolute favorite way.

Saturday, August 15th, 2020

"Mommy!" I felt Makas poke his finger into my side and I laughed quietly, "Good morning Mak," I whispered and I opened my eyes to look at him and he had his sweet smile on his face with his favorite blanket tucked in his hand. "Go get Daddy," I whispered to him and Makas giggled, "Daddy isn't in bed," I quickly rolled to my back to see Troy had disappeared. I frowned as I looked over to see Caroline was still sleeping soundly.

"Do you know where Daddy is?" Makas shook his head and I sighed as I sat up and reached for my cell phone to see a message on my phone from Troy.

I was called into work early this morning due to complications with a patient. I'll try my best to be at Co's game. Love you.

I sighed as I lifted Makas into bed with me and he pressed his face into my chest, "Did you sleep well?" I asked him and he nodded his head, "Yea, can we watch mickey?" I nodded as I turned on the TV and then my door opened again but this time it was Collin. His eyes scanned the room and once he saw the bathroom door open he frowned. "Where is dad?" I patted the bed and Collin came over to sit down next to me.

"Dad was called into work for a little bit. He will try his best to be at the game okay?" Collin pouted and I kissed the side of his head, "What am I not good enough?" I asked him and Collin tried not to smile but he let out a smile anyways. "I love you, mom," I laughed and smiled, "I know you do buddy," Makas moved over to sit on Collin's lap and Collin let him like a good big brother he is. "C'mon, we need to make breakfast for our favorite soccer star."

"Do you think I will score a goal today?" he asked me with nervousness creeping up on him, I nodded, "Of course." We all got up and I grabbed Caroline from her bassinet to take her downstairs to put in the swing. "Mom, when will Caroline talk?" Makas asked and I smiled, "Not for a while buddy," Collin helped Makas down the stairs while I situated Caroline in the swing in the kitchen. Collin began to grab stuff to make waffles and eggs.

I put Makas on the counter as I turned on music while Collin began to sing along. I smiled looking at my two boys and my little girl thinking that life doesn't get better than this moment. It will never get better than this moment besides having Troy here with us. I was blessed with three beautiful kids and one who kicked cancers ass. I smiled just thinking about it when the doorbell rang.

"Collin, do you want to go answer that?" he nodded as he ran down the stairs and to the front door. I watched him open the door but I couldn't see who it was until he started laughing, "Grandma Lucy! Grandpa Jack!" I picked up Makas from the counter as I walked to the ledge to see him attached to his grandparents. "Hey big guy! We heard there was a big soccer game this morning!" he nodded his head happily and I smiled because I had no idea they were coming.

"Gabi," Jack said waving and I waved back, "Jack, Lucy," I called as I began to walk down the steps. Mak tried to get out of my grasp as I sat him down and he quickly ran to Lucy. "Hey little guy!" she picked him up and gave him a ton of kisses on his face causing him to laugh. Jack grabbed me in a hug and I smiled, "This is a surprise," I told him and he nodded, "We figured we would come down for a couple of days. Watch Collin play soccer, play with Makas and get to cuddle with our beautiful granddaughter."

"Where is Troy?" Lucy asked, I sighed and heard Caroline whine from upstairs, "He is at work. He got called in early this morning. He is hoping to make it to Collin's soccer game." Lucy smiled and she grabbed Collin's hand as we all began to walk upstairs towards the kitchen. "Grandma Lucy will you help us make pancakes?" Collin asked and Makas agreed with high energy excitement making me smile.

Jack was picking up a cooing Caroline with a smile, "Gabi, if you want to go take a shower we have this under control." I felt a small smile gather on my face because Troy's parents have been supportive of everything we have done from day one. They helped us move to Miami, they came for Makas birth and then again for Caroline's. They were constantly coming to us for Christmas and Thanksgiving so that we could stay here as a family with our friends.

We went up to Colorado once or twice a year to see old friends and see the grandparents on odd occasions but we tried to avoid Colorado and memories we didn't want to bring up any longer. We were very happy in Florida with the white beaches and the blue water. Collin loved the beach just like I did and we spent a lot of time out there together when we needed Collin and mom time. I went upstairs and I turned on the shower as a warm shower has been hard to come by in four weeks.

I checked my phone waiting to see a message from Troy but nothing. I put my phone onto the counter and turned on some soft music before stripping and getting into the shower. It was going to be a very hot day, the reason behind our nine am soccer game. I washed my hair and let the water relax my shoulders as I thought about what Troy said to me last night. I knew Collin wasn't going to be able to be on the same treatment plan forever and we would have to try and wean off but I didn't want to lose him.

Once I conditioned my hair and thoroughly washed my body I turned the warm water off to wrap a towel around my body. I took a step out ringing my hair free of water while I slipped on a pair of underwear with a pair of jean shorts. I then put on a nursing bra followed by a tank-top to enjoy the summer sun. I let my hair down to let it dry and I smiled tilting my head back. I opened the door to the room to hear Lucy and Jack talking with their three grandchildren. I went to grab Makas his clothes for this morning and then a onesie for Caroline from her nursery.

I went back downstairs as they were all happily eating, "Mommy, we saved you a spot!" Makas pointed to the spot next to Lucy with a warm waffle sitting there, "Thank you guys," I took a sip of my coffee as I noticed Jack feeding Caroline which made me smile. They always knew how to come in and automatically help. "Collin, as soon as you are done you might want to go change into your soccer clothes okay?"

"I can change Makas," Jack offered, I handed him his clothes and Lucy smiled taking Caroline's clothes. "How is Sammy?" I asked, "Sammy is doing very well. Her and Isaac are happily in love and are over the moon with the baby news."

"Marcus and Jennifer doing okay?" I questioned and Lucy grinned with happiness, "Actually, they are talking about moving here with Austin." I looked up at her with surprise, "He misses his brother and he wants to be a part of his favorite nephew and nieces lives." I laughed, "That's amazing. I know Sammy was already talking about it,"

"And we're going to retire here," Jack said automatically and I smiled because they always talked about coming to Florida one day after they were finished working. His family was a strong unit so none of it surprised me when they talked about moving to where we lived. Troy and I made it firm that we were staying here because this is where we needed to be. Collin had good doctors and Troy had a fantastic job that paid very well. I was by a beach and working for another large firm.

We were happy and settled here.

I looked over at the boys and once they were done eating they all began to do what was requested. Lucy was holding Caroline as I waved her onesie, "I am going to make sure Collin doesn't need any help." She grabbed the onesie, "I'll change her diaper and take care of her." I thanked her as I stood up and I walked across the room to put the dishes in the sink. I then walked to Collin's room where he was putting on his shorts and soccer jersey. "Can I put my shin guards on at the game?"

I nodded my head as I sat down to help him with his socks, "Yes, if you want. We need to get into the car as soon as possible though." I reminded him, "Can I ride with Grandma and Grandpa?" he asked me with pleading brown eyes, "If they have room for you. If not, then you have to ride with us." He nodded excited as he jumped down from his spot and I collected his cleats and shin guards from the ground.

Going out into the hallway Makas ran by without a shirt giggling as Jack chased him. Lucy was putting Caroline in her car seat while Jack finally wrangled Makas into a t-shirt. "Mom, we have to go!" Collin yelled and I nodded as I ushered the rest of the family along. I got the two youngest in the car while Collin ran with Jack to the car. "Lead the way?" Lucy asked, I nodded as I made sure Caroline's shade was up and that Makas still had his buckle on.

I pulled out of the driveway and picked up my cell phone to press Troy's name for my call to go through. It rang a couple of times and then went to voicemail. I sighed as I then tried again to the nurse's station to see if I can find him. "Miami Children Riley speaking,"

"Riley, hey, have you seen Troy around? It's Gabi."

"Ah he was with a patient a little while ago but I haven't seen him since. Do you want me to look for him?" I shook my head back and forth even though she couldn't see me, "No, no, it's okay. If you see him though will you tell him to call me?"

"Of course Gabi, I'll see you and Collin on Monday!" I smiled and hung up the phone as I pulled into the park where I saw kids of all kinds running around in soccer uniforms ready for a morning game. I parked the car as I witnessed Collin take off running for the field and I heard the SUV car door open and I tilted my head back, "Daddy!" I looked at Makas and then I saw a smiling Troy, "Look who showed up," Troy laughed as I slipped around and went around to grab Caroline.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to get out of bed but they needed help this morning. I figured a couple extra hours wouldn't hurt." I rolled my eyes because I knew he would go back after the game. "There is my handsome son," Troy twisted around with Makas in his arms with a surprised look on his face, "Mom, dad, what are you doing here?" he greeted them both in a hug and a smile. "We figured it was time for another visit with our grandchildren, son, and daughter in law."

"Oh man, Gabs, they are completely here to help us," Lucy gave us a confused look as I nodded, "I didn't think of that but they are,"

"How?" Lucy asked as we all walked to the field together, "Collin has scans and treatment on Monday and we don't have a spot for Caroline in daycare until she is six weeks old. Can you stay with Caroline while Gabi goes with Collin and I am able to get some hours in at work?"

"If you promise to not work the rest of this weekend." His mom bargained, I laughed because I loved her. I loved how she knew Troy was starting to work a lot more and Troy rolled his eyes with a laugh. "Fine," I laughed looking over at Lucy, "How in the world did you do that? I have been trying to for weeks." Lucy laughed and Troy grabbed my hand walking along the way to the field. "He's a momma's boy,"

"I know how that goes," Troy said as he looked over at Collin and I smiled because Collin and I had a bond that couldn't be formed again. He was my first born, my baby, and we had gone through so much with each other. I smiled looking at him run across the field with his friends with a huge smile on his face. He was happy and living and beautiful. Collin made every single day a good day and I would never think twice about any mistakes that we made.

Joe had become a better fixture in Collin's life over the years. They talk on the phone once a week and Collin goes to California to spend two weeks in the summer with him. They have a good relationship and last year Joe took the time to tell Collin the story behind him giving up parental rights to Troy and Collin came back with his arms tight around Troy's neck, thankful for everything that he has provided.

Troy was brought to tears and I had learned a new respect for Joe. Our families all got along well and it was nice to be able to talk to him without fear of bad things happening. I took a deep breath while settling in our chairs along the sideline. We kept Caroline tucked into her car seat away from the bright sun while Troy wrangled Makas. Lucy sat next to me and we began to discuss how the children were doing and the everyday life things that we always got caught up on.

Troy stood behind me where he could watch Makas walk around and play in the grass with other kids his age and talk with his dad. It was a common practice when Lucy and Jack were in town. Troy reached down to rub my shoulders gently and I smiled leaning back while I continued to talk. The game started and we cheered for Collin as he ran down the field and I knew how lucky we were to be here in this state. To be here with Collin.

I knew how lucky I was.

My hands slipped down my legs as I rubbed lotion against them as Troy was talking on the phone with a nurse about a patient. Caroline was sleeping on the bed in front of me after nursing and I watched her little face move in her dream as she twisted her head a different direction. I smiled as I couldn't wait to cuddle with her in a moment. "Tim, no, I just…" Troy's voice trailed off and I smiled because I loved how Troy cared so much for every patient.

It took a lot of convincing to get Troy to go back into the oncology field so scared to get attached again. He couldn't hurt like he has before and that is when we made the promise to openly talk about all patients that he has and that he is never alone in the fight. Collin and I did a lot of volunteer work on Troy's floor. We hosted blanket drives, we did toy drives and we would always bring Christmas gifts on Christmas day.

My heart ached every time I walked onto an oncology floor but I also knew how lucky I was to have my son in my arms every single night. I inhaled deeply when I heard Troy hang up the phone. He walked into the room and he quickly scooped up his little girl. "Hey, I was going to hold her." I pouted, Troy shook his head as he rocked her, "You just got forty-five minutes with her." I shook my head, "I was working,"

Troy laughed, "Oh whatever. You cuddle with her more than she eats." I let a smug smile cross my face as he knew me too well. "What are your plans for tomorrow?" Troy sighed as he sat down on the bed with Caroline and I smiled looking at him cradle his youngest, and only, daughter. "I was thinking that we could maybe go to the beach for a little bit in the morning. I was thinking to go up north to a quieter beach where Makas and Collin can run around while playing without too many people around."

"Okay," I said with smile because Troy knew I would always go to the beach without complaint. "then since well…we have two very capable babysitters downstairs I think we need a date night."

I looked up at him and he smiled down at me, "We haven't had a date night since before Caroline was born." I grinned, "Yes, I absolutely love this idea." Troy laughed with a solid smile on his face, a big happy smile that I saw in all of those photos with Baker. That smile was the smile I saw all of the time now. It was amazing and I loved it. "I figured you would really enjoy that idea. We need some mommy and daddy time," he said sitting down next to me.

"Too bad I am not cleared yet," I pouted and Troy laughed, "Brie, I wouldn't touch you right now if you were clear. You didn't have a smooth birth with her. You need extra time probably," I shook my head and Troy laughed as if I was crazy. He went to lay Caroline in her bassinet next to our bed and he quickly crawled across the bed to press his lips against mine. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?" he asked me and I smiled shaking my head no.

He smirked, "I love you a ton."

I pulled him in for a kiss, "I love you more," I whispered into his ear and he smiled, "Ew, mom, dad," I laughed as Collin's voice entered the room around us. Troy sat up on the bed as he then stood up, "What's up Co?" he shrugged his shoulders, "I'm not tired."

"You should be. All three of those goals were tough work." Collin smiled and sat down on the bed as Troy changed in the closet. I reached over to rub his shoulders gently and he leaned back, "Do I have to go to treatment Monday?" he asked with a plea, "It's the day before school starts." Troy came out of the closet as we made eye contact and we shared a look because of the conversation we had last night. My chest caved with anxiety because I wasn't ready yet. "Yes," Troy finally answered, "But this may be your last one until February." Collin sat up quickly at this news.

"What do you mean?" he asked with a hint of excitement behind his voice. Troy sighed sitting down as he looked over at me, "After this treatment we are going to have monthly appointments to check blood work and scans to make sure the cancer remains gone and we will skip our three-month chemo to continue on. I talked to Dr. Brynn and she said if all goes well over the next year or two we could talk about suspending chemo all together with regular scans and blood work."

Collin grinned from ear to ear that this news which made my heart so happy but my nerves only grew anxious. "Mom, this is amazing news!" he turned to look at me and then he looked concerned, "Mom, why aren't you happy? I figured you would be the first one to be excited!" I gave a weak smile that I knew both boys in this room saw right through. "I am very, very, happy about this news Collin." He shook his head because Collin knew me too well for that bullshit of an answer.

"Mom, you can tell me." His eyes looked at me and I shook my head even through my eyes were filling with tears. "It's nothing Collin, these are happy tears because I just realize how far you have come in the last five years and I couldn't be more proud." He smiled and reached over to hug me, "I'm scared too mom," and that's when I lost all control and just hugged him tighter. "I love you Co," he pulled back with his own tears in his eyes but an even bigger smile.

"I love you too mom," he bounced off the bed as I bet he was going to tell Lucy and Jack. Troy slid his arm around me and pulled me back against him, "Will you at least tell me?" I sucked in a big breath and I tucked my body closer to his, "What if it doesn't work Troy?" Troy sighed and he squeezed my shoulders gently, "Then we do something else Brie, he can't be doing this forever. We have to give it a chance."

"I know but how are you not scared?" Troy smiled kissing the top of my head, "I'm terrified babe, absolutely terrified but we have to try it."

"I don't want things to get worse. He is fine and happy and healthy," I took a deep breath to try to keep all of my emotions at bay but I couldn't help but let a tear slide down my face, "I don't want to see him suffer any worse than what he already is Troy, I watched it once with him and I am terrified to do it again." Troy hugged me a little tighter and he kissed the top of my head, "I know Brie, I know,"

"Because if we stop and it happens then he suddenly has cancer again and I just…"

Troy didn't say anything this time and I knew he had no other words of comfort because this wasn't in any book. "Have you talked to Sam or Mariah lately?"

"Yesterday morning while I was feeding Caroline," I offered, "How was that?" he asked me, I smiled, "Good. They are both talking about bring the kids down here to go to Disney and to come see us at the beach. I told them to come whenever."

"We haven't seen them since Christmas,"

"Yea, it's been a while." I leaned back into Troy and he rubbed my arms gently, "We'll make it through this too Gabi. Okay?" I nodded my head and he hugged me tightly, "I'm going to make sure somebody ended up in his bed." Troy got up and I took a deep breath as I figured I should allow Joe in on the plan. I picked up my cell phone and I dialed his number. It rang a couple of times and he picked up on the other end being much earlier his time.

"Hey, everything okay?" he asked and I nodded my head, "Yea, everything is great actually. I should've waited to do this later so you could have talked to Collin."

"No, it's okay. What's up?"

"Troy and Brynn were talking about slowing stopping Collin's regular chemo." There were silent crickets from the other side of the phone. "Joe…" I said after a minute, "Why? He is fine with it." I smiled looking down, "I know. I know. I have the same thing going through my mind but it has been five years and they said slowly. They will keep an extra eye on him and then he could be completely done with chemo forever."

"Until it comes back,"

"It might not come back," I offered gently, "Gabi, this is dumb. Why stop what is working?" I took a deep breath and leaned back on the bed, "Because he can't be on it forever. The chance for cancer to come back after five years is so low Joe,"

"Gabi, he almost died and by the grace of God the treatments started working. Why are we chancing this?"

"I wish I knew Joe but Troy and Brynn are right. At some point this treatment will become ineffective anyways. It's better we stop now and still have a chance of it working later if the cancer every does come back." Joe was quiet for another minute, "I promise Joe, I am not letting anything ever happen to him again. I will not watch that happen again."

"Okay." Joe said quietly, "Okay,"

"I'll have Collin call you tomorrow morning. He is very excited about the possibility."

Joe sighed, "I bet he is."

"I'm scared too." I told him, "I know you are Gabi, I know you are."

Sunday, August 16th, 2020

Makas screamed running across the sand being chased by Collin and Troy along the sad as I laid back nursing Caroline with the sun shining. The waves were crashing against the beach and the sun was warm in the early morning. We made the trip up north a little earlier than normal so we weren't outside in the heat of the day. We planned on getting their energy out here and then going to get some lunch before going back to put them down to nap at home.

Lucy and Jack were lounging around the house getting some quiet time before they took the kids tonight. Makas squealed as Troy ran him into the ocean. Collin stopped running and came over to my chair as he sat next to me. "Mom, you should come play." He said trying to get his breathing to return to normal. "I have to feed your sister and somebody has to stay back here with her. She can't be in the sand and in the ocean yet."

He pouted, "You should have left her with Grandpa and Grandma." I reached over for him and he leaned into me, "Because then it wouldn't be a family day." I said holding his chin, he sighed and I kissed his cheek. Troy and Makas came back over and both sat down as Troy tried to hide underneath the umbrella but Makas attacked him with a laugh. "He is wound up." Troy stated and I laughed as Caroline pulled away and I rested her on my shoulder.

"Mom," I looked over at Makas as he sat on Troy's lap, "Yea buddy,"

"Daddy said that we were staying with papa and grandma Lucy," I nodded my head, "You are." I told him, "Daddy and I are going to have dinner together." I told him and Makas thought about it for a minute, "Are you going to have chicken nuggets?" Troy laughed and I smiled, "I don't think so buddy. Do you want chicken nuggets for dinner? We can probably put in a good word to grandma Lucy," Makas nodded his head up and down and I smiled at him.

"I don't want chicken nuggets for dinner." Collin pouted and I glanced at him, "Why not?" I asked him, "I want to go with you and dad," I handed Caroline to Troy and I then pulled Collin into my lap. "Why is that?" I asked him, "Because I want to be with you." He said and I glanced up at Troy and then back to Collin. "You'll get to spend time with Grandpa and Grandma." I reminded him gently, "I know but I just want to be with you."

I hugged him from behind and held on to him, "How about when Caroline and Makas nap you can help me get ready and pick out the rest of dinner tonight for your brother?" I asked and he shrugged his shoulders not satisfied with my answer. "Your dad and I need some alone time. You can join us for a big brother dinner soon," I promised and he looked at me, "Do I have to go to treatment tomorrow?" he asked and I nodded, "Sorry buddy, but like we walked about you're almost done."

Collin didn't say anything but Makas picked up his hand pulling him back to the beach, "What was that about?" Troy asked watching him run to catch up with Makas. I shrugged, "I don't know Troy," I answered and I looked at him as he was putting Caroline in her car seat in the stroller to keep her out of the sun. "She's happy," I said observing and he smiled, "She is. You made her belly full." I smiled as Troy got up and came to sit next to me.

"Go play with your boys. Collin was asking for you earlier." I turned to check on Caroline again and Troy nudged me gently. "She's sleeping. I will keep an eye on her while you go play with your boys." I finally nodded and I got up from my spot as I walked across the sand where the boys were building a sand castle. I sat down next to them and Collin smiled as I helped construct with their instructions. Leaning forward I kissed their temples as Makas showed me his shovel and how he shovels.

Collin helped him build the top part and they gave each other a high five at the end. "Mommy, will you help me find sea shells for my castle?" Collin asked, I agreed standing up and we walked across the sand searching for the perfect seashells. Our favorite thing to do together. We would walk the long sandy beaches just looking for seashells when he needed time away from the house or for just a little bit of time together.

This is what we did.

Troy slid close to me as we watched the sun set over the hills and the colors reflect off the ocean water. I took a sip of wine while Troy poured himself another glass. We were just sitting on the back porch but we snuck around here without any of the kids knowing. I took a deep breath and I let my head rest against his shoulder. "Nine tomorrow, okay?"

"I know."

"Brynn wants to talk to you."

"Okay." I answered.

"You okay?" I nodded without words and Troy laughed, "Brie, talk to me." I sighed as I swirled my wine around in my glass. "I am just worried about Collin. He isn't doing that well right now and I don't know why." Troy squeezed my knee, "I don't know baby, hopefully it starts getting better or we'll sit him down." Troy told me as he drew patterns on my leg and I didn't want to say anything but Troy was trying to get everything out.

"I'll see if I can get him to talk during treatment tomorrow." Troy looked at me and I only buried my face in his chest. "I am tired Troy,"

"Do you want me to whisk you past the crew and up to bed?" I smiled, "No, I want to stay right here but I don't have much conversation in me." Troy stopped talking and rubbed my leg gently while he kissed on my temple. "I love you." He whispered while pulling his fingers through my hair, "I love you too," I said as I finished off my wine. Troy went to refill it but I shook my head, "Somebody has to feed somebody else tonight."

"I can take care of her tonight." Troy offered nicely. "I don't know; I wake up anyways when she cries." Troy twisted to face me causing me to lift my head, "Troy," I said whining, "Just sit still." I commanded and he laughed while I tried to snuggle against him. "Gabs, it's eighty degrees outside." I groaned and I pulled away from him. "Fine, I want to go to my bed."

"Gabi," he said again and pulled on my arm to pull me back down onto his lap. "You need to go to bed." He told me pressing his lips to my ear, "You have such a long day tomorrow. Come on," he picked me up and I laughed while he carried me inside. He put his free hand over my mouth trying to keep me from making noise so Makas and Collin didn't come running. We snuck up the stairs and he quickly shut out bedroom door.

He dropped me so my feet hit the floor and I changed into one of Troy's t-shirts. I then went to wash my face as Troy changed into a different pair of clothes. "Do you want to feed Caroline before you go to bed?" I shrugged because I just wasn't in a good mood. Troy came into the bathroom and wrapped his arms around my torso, "Talk to me,"

"It's nothing. I think I am tired and just want to lay with my husband."

"Then let's do that," he whispered into my ear, "Let's do that." After I put the rag down he pulled me into the bed and he wrapped his arms around me not letting an inch of space between us. "I know you are thinking about tomorrow more than you want to let on but you are thinking about tomorrow." His hands wrapped in mine while he played with the ring he gave me those years ago on the beach. I tucked my body in and just rested against him.

"Tomorrow will be no different. I promise."

"But what about three months after that?"

"That'll be different." He said, never lying to me, 'We'll only do scans and that'll be it."

My words didn't form and I felt my stomach twist. "Gabi, do you remember when Collin was on the mend, do you know what you said to me?"

"That all I want is more time,"

"We got a lot more time." I gave him a look and I pulled away slightly, "There will never be enough time with him Troy, never. I want to die before he ever will and what if I don't get that chance?" he squeezed my shoulders, "I am not letting him go without a fight, I promise, we are more advanced and the likely hood of anything happening is slim. Very slim Gabs,"

"But there is still that chance and it terrifies me." I said with tears starting to stream down my face, "Absolutely terrifies me."

"Gabs, Collin and I have the same rate of our cancer returning. Are you worried the same about both of us?"

"Absolutely Troy every single time that you run your scans I am terrified that I am suddenly going to have a husband battling cancer and my son battling cancer." Troy finally leaned back and looked at me, "I am terrified until you come home and tell me all is good again and I know one of these times you might not say that and that terrifies me so that is what I have to look forward to with Collin for the rest of my life. Scan and test all the time wondering if my son's cancer has returned."

He hugged me tightly, "Oh B, I didn't know you felt like that."

"I just am so scared all the time but I can't take this away from Collin. He wants to be away from the cancer ward and I don't blame him. I am just scared." He kissed my temple and laid with me, "I know baby, I know, I wish I could take it away from you."

I closed my eyes and leaned into him trying to black out the world from the pain.

Monday, August 17th, 2020

Collin pushed the button on the elevator as I put my car keys into my bag and then pulled my cell phone out. The elevator doors opened and Collin ran out and quickly towards Troy's office. He saw many nurses along the way as he smiled and waved until he ran straight into Troy.

"Hey buddy," he picked him up as Collin pulled at Troy's tie, "You ready to get hooked up?" Collin shrugged when I saw Brynn come out from the other side. It didn't make me comfortable at first with Brynn working with him but I knew Troy was forever faithful to me. "Gabriella," I took a deep breath, our relationship was never wonderful and I kept her at a distance. "Dr. Brynn," she waved me over and I followed her.

"Troy said he filled you in. I figured I would see if you had any questions."

"None that Troy can't answer." I provided back and Brynn rolled her eyes, "Troy isn't his doctor. I am."

"Yea well," Brynn nodded, "That's all I need. Troy and I can do the rest."

"What do you mean?" I asked, she looked at me, "Signing the papers, etc.,"

"It's just stopping chemo,"

"You're getting out of the trial."

"He never said that." I argued back, "He said if something happened that we could go back."

"On a different trial." She answered and I felt tears fill my eyes, "Okay," I said turning away when I ran into Troy, "Whoa," he tried to grab me and I brushed past him. "I told her," Brynn said in a matter of a fact way, "Brynn," he hissed and he quickly grabbed my arm gently. "Brie, babe," I looked over at him, "We will have options. I promise. I am not letting him die." I pulled my arm away from him and went to be with Collin.

I sat down in the chair next to him and he looked over at me, "Mom," I looked at him and he looked sad, "Am I going to die if I stop treatment?" I looked at him and I felt the time pass by in front of me as I stared at him with tears welling in my eyes. My mouth dropped open and I felt like I couldn't answer anything that he said to me. His eyes welled up with tears as I let my hand cover my mouth, "I don't want to stop then," he began to blubber and I finally moved and wrapped him in my arms.

"Absolutely not." I whispered as we both started to cry, "Oh baby no you are not going anywhere."

"Then why are you so scared," he asked me and I looked at him and I tried to put a smile on my face, "Because I love you so much Collin and just the slight thought of cancer ever, ever, coming back scares me but they don't think it will ever, ever come back. Okay? You have nothing to worry about baby, you have nothing." I looked at him and he smiled at me, "Do you promise?" my heart lurched because I didn't want to promise this.

But I had too.

"I promise." I whispered and I kissed the top of his head, "I promise," I said holding him tightly. I kissed his cheek and then I pulled away, "I'm going to be okay mom, I am going to be okay," Collin repeated while wiping his eyes, he sniffled and I looked at him with a smile. "I am going to go see something really fast, okay? Do you want a snack?" he nodded and I pushed off as I walked across the room battling tears.

Moving faster I walked towards Troy's office where I heard talking come from the other side, I walked in anyway and it was Troy getting upset with Brynn. I looked up at him and he looked at me, "Gabi," he dropped his subject with Brynn and took two steps towards me when I broke down into hysterics. His strong arms wrapped around me and he didn't say anything until my sobs quieted, "He asked if he was going to die if he stopped treatment and he was crying,"

"Oh Brie, I am sorry babe, I should've been out there." He hugged me, "I promised that nothing would happen and,"

"You did what?" Brynn said, "Brynn, get the hell out of here. Okay? You do not need to help." Brynn huffed and she left, Troy pushed me to sit on the edge of his desk and he held my hand, "Brie," he said quietly, "Listen to me," I looked at him and his eyes were sad, "We are not going to lose him, okay? I will be scared with you. I will be scared too, okay?" he looked at me and I looked at him as he squeezed my shoulders. "We are both going to sit with Collin and reassure him that he is going to be okay but something could happen in the future, because we can't make a promise like that too him."

I nodded and he kissed my forehead, "I love you,"

"I love you too,"

My eyes peered over the railing to see Troy laying on the floor playing with Makas, Collin was resting on the couch because sometimes chemo took a bit out of him, and I could see Caroline happily awake laying on the floor just staring at the animals above her trying to figure out how to reach them. While Collin received his chemo we talked to him about what could happen and the likely hood of the things that could happen.

He seemed to completely understand and we both felt better after talking to each other. He was in an okay mood for the rest of the day but it improved when Troy came home early from work wanting to spend time with the family. I wiped my hands on the towel as I let Makas giggle enter my ear and then Collin complaining of not being able to hear the baseball game that was on TV. Caroline cooed and Troy quickly paid attention to her to make sure she was okay.

I smiled with tears in my eyes because my life couldn't get any better than this moment. My son was healthy and was on the road to giving up chemo forever. I had another little boy who was so happy and so healthy. He was always laughing and smiling at me making me smile right back at him. Then I had the final piece to the puzzle with my little girl. She was already so amazing with her little laugh and the way she had her daddy wrapped around her finger already.

I had three kids who were all healthy and were doing so well in life. I could have never asked for anything more than having three healthy kids were so happy. My eyes then took a quick glance towards Troy with those blue eyes that could melt any women on the street. He had a beautiful smile and loves so hard. He came into my life at the most perfect time and yet at the worst time as well. He found me a sobbing mess sitting in a hospital room confused, but he made me feel so special from the first word.

He listened.

He was patient.

He found me answers.

And every single day since that moment he has done all of those things over again. He listened when I was stressed and just needed somebody to listen. He was patient when I was angry and needed to vent. He always found everything that I needed and was always, always there for me. The moment that he stepped into my life, he had done anything and everything for me.

I told him a couple years ago that he rescued me from drowning in self-pity. He rescued my son for pushing me to keep him in that trial and to never let go of his love. He rescued me when I needed it most and he would never let go from here on out. We both leaned on each other and we both loved each other. We both needed each other.

We were made for each other and somehow I think God noticed that I needed him and made a dramatic way to introduce him to me. We survived that through our dating days, we could survive anything through our marriage. We were a wall with each other and nothing was going to break us down.

This was my moment of clarity. Watching my three kids play with my amazing husband, this was the only thing I needed. I needed no more and no less. I needed nothing.

"Brie, come join us," I looked at Troy and I gave a smile. "I'll be down in one second!" I walked over to the fridge and my eyes glanced at the picture of all of us at Collins' soccer game. Smiling. Happy. Healthy.

I then looked at another from our honeymoon that we took after Collin was better, my prince charming who rescued me. No matter how cliché that was, he absolutely rescued me and I could never, ever, repay him for that.

The End.

Wow. What an incredible journey. I am absolutely in love with this story and I love the response this story got! I love you guy, I love the support and the happiness that I felt from your reviews! Thank you guys for everything and I am sorry to disappoint but there will be no sequel to this story. I feel like this should end here on a happy note. There would be no happy sequel so this is better to end here. From here on out I will be working on Ace mostly but will also work on a new story. It probably won't be published until May but I will work hard on Ace to bring you more chapters. Thank you for all patience. Love you all and thank you. Leave one last review over the whole story please!

Please Review!

Jo