She doesn't come back that night. Killian expected she wouldn't, but it still hurts to know that she was continuing to avoid him. He knows that from now on, the chances of actually seeing her are very slim; she's quite resourceful when it comes to getting her things out of her room undetected. Maybe he's being overdramatic, but his time spent with Emma has taught him that when she wants to run, she's an expert.

He doesn't know what else to do. He wants to show her that he's not like all the other men that have only brought nothing but disappointment. He needs her to know how much he cares about her, that he'll do anything for her—follow her to the end of the world if needed. He meant every word he had told her the night before: he isn't just curious to see where their relationship could lead them; he's convinced that they're meant for each other. He's known for a while now that he has a special connection with her, that they're kindred spirits, but if Emma isn't willing to admit, what can he do?

A few days go by and there's still no sign of her. He grows more and more anxious at the thought of her avoiding him this much, and is on the verge of grabbing the rum he keeps in the cupboard over the fridge and numb his worries away. Killian knows it's not the best solution, knows well where that will lead him, but he can't take it anymore. He finds himself wandering into the kitchen, fingers itching to grab the bottle. He sits with it on the couch, glancing around the living room. Every where he looks he sees her, either remembering their passionate moments or simply them sharing a drink and hanging out.

He looks back at his hand holding the bottle of rum and tightens his grasp, closing his eyes hard as he tries to regain his self control. Eventually, he lets out a loud sigh before leaving , the unopened bottle on the coffee table and rushing out the door. He needs to keep himself busy before he does something stupid, like getting himself stinking drunk and leave endless messages on Emma's voicemail.

-/-

Since her talk with Tink, Emma keeps asking herself if she's ready to take such a huge step with Killian. In the past week, she's come to accept her feelings for him, but she still feels unable to actually do something about them. After a week, she finally manages to leave Tink's place (with her friend's encouragement), even if she doesn't feel ready, and head back to her own apartment.

She's nervous. Scratch that, she's extremely nervous. Why wouldn't she be? She denied her own feelings for Killian, and in the process she pushed him away and hurt him. She's a bit relieved when she enters the apartment and notices he's not even there, but relief is quickly replaced with worry. Maybe he's just out for the night, though—she doesn't want to panic over it. She opts for a shower to clear her head and calm her nerves.

When Emma leaves the bathroom, towel wrapped around her and wet hair clinging to her skin, she stops in front of his room and tentatively peeks inside. His bed is made (as usual) and his room seems to have been unoccupied for quite some bit. She bites her lower lip and decides maybe it is time to panic. She hurries to get dressed and pulls her hair up in a wet messy bun before grabbing her purse and fleeing the apartment in search of her roommate.

She keeps telling herself that she's panicking for absolutely nothing. It's Killian's apartment; he wouldn't have just left his place because of her, and besides, he isn't the type of guy to just give up or run away. At least she hopes he isn't. She thinks of all the places where he might seek comfort or refuge; the first one that comes to mind is the pub where he occasionally plays and sometimes gets himself stinking drunk.

She enters the bar, a bit unfamiliar with the surroundings in broad daylight. The ambiance is calm compared to how it is when she drops by at night, with a few patrons here and there sharing a mid-afternoon drink. She recognizes the bartender as one of the guys Killian jams with and she walks straight in his direction. He's checking out his phone, clearly bored with the lack of clientele.

"Hi," she says tentatively, not knowing exactly what to say next. He looks up and squints his eyes as he tries to recognize her, his features relaxing when he seems to remember who she is.

"Emma, right?"

"Yeah, um ..." she starts, before realizing she doesn't remember his name; she feels quite awful since he clearly remember hers.

"Robin." He gives her one of those smiles that tells her that it's okay that she forgotten his name, to which she responds with one of her own. She shifts on her feet and looks around as she tries to manage to appear calm and put-together, as opposed to the desperate mess she is to find Killian.

"You're a friend of Killian, aren't you?"

"I am." She suddenly wonders what Killian might have told his friends about her and their relationship, but based on the way Robin is looking at her, she suspects he hasn't.

"I'm looking for him; do you know where he might be?"

"Aren't you his roommate?" His question baffles her, but he looks as confused as she is. He really must not know whatever transpired between her and his friend.

"I am, it's just that I've been out for the week and I haven't seen him back at our place."

"The last I heard from him, he was going over at his brother's for a little while."

She's relieved upon hearing that, knowing that he didn't actually run away, but it still hurts that she's probably be the reason he left. She can't blame him; with his feelings for her and with the way she treated him, why would he want to stay in the place where they spent so much time together? She wouldn't.

An hour later, she's parking her yellow Bug in an empty driveway. She hopes that the address she found for Liam Jones is the right one, and she also hopes that Killian will actually want to talk to her. She climbs out from her car and makes her way up the stone steps that lead to the front door. She waits a little while in front of the glass door, trying to gain enough courage to ring the bell. Finally, she wipes her sweaty hands on her thighs and then presses on it. It takes a minute before she sees someone through the frosted glass heading towards the door.

She can't help but grin widely when she sees him, her nervousness leaving her for a moment while the joy of finding him overwhelms her. When she sees his confused look, she remembers that he might not be glad she found him.

"Emma, what are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you." A faint smile grazes his features, as if he's not completely sure if her being there is a good thing or not. "Can I come in?" she whispers.

"Of course, where are my manners?" She follows him inside as he leads her towards the kitchen. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Is it too much to ask if you have anything with alcohol?"

He chuckles at that, and she realizes how much she missed that sound. She has been so selfish and blind to notice how deep her feelings for him ran.

"I do," he answers, taking two beers out of the fridge, handing one to her. He does so over the kitchen island, clearly maintaining his distance from her. But his fingertips graze hers as she takes the bottle from him, and a shiver runs down her spine. It takes all her energy and willpower to keep herself from running around the counter to kiss him.

They both sip their drinks in awkward silence, Killian clearly waiting for her to say something, while she tries to remember everything she wanted to tell him so desperately. He clears his throat which makes her look up at him, and damn, he's gorgeous despite having his unkempt beard.

"Came to spend some time with your brother?" The moment the question leave her lips, she wants to hide her face in her hands and die of embarrassment. She decides instead to continue drinking her beer so she has something to do while she waits his answer.

"My brother called me and asked if I wanted to housesit, since he and Elsa decided to leave for the week in the country. I thought a change of scenery could do me some good."

"That's good." This time, she can't stop herself from cringing.

"Swan," he sighs, "what are you doing here?"

She bites her lip, trying to find the right words. She's had her speech planned out for the past week, and she's been rehearsing it in her head for the past hour, but now she doesn't know where to start. She wants to just kiss him, show him how she feels instead of telling him, but she knows he needs to hear it, to be reassured.

"I wanted to apologize." She sees his eyebrow raise and his lips purse as he ponders her few words.

"Is that all?" It's simple and direct.

And it hurts. His words hit her right in the chest, constricting painfully around her heart. He's keeping his distance and his tone is cold. She can't blame him; she did hurt him. She takes a deep breath as she closes her eyes and gathers her courage. When she looks back at him, he's looking at her and can see that he's restraining himself, as if he doesn't want to show his vulnerability.

"No," she whispers.

Emma deposits her beer bottle on the counter, and slowly walks around the kitchen island. She can hear his quick intake of air as she comes near him and takes his hands in hers. His skin is warm and despite everything that's happened, he can't seem to hold himself back; he squeezes her hand, giving her the guts to say what she has to say.

"I missed you so much. I've been selfish and I let my insecurities get the best of me. And I feel like such an idiot that I had to hurt you to realize that."

There are only a few inches separating them now; her hands move to his chest while his slowly make their way around her waist to the small of her back until they're hugging. He nuzzles her neck, his beard tickling her skin. His scent is overwhelming and for the first time in weeks, Emma feels warm and happy in way she hasn't let herself feel in a long, long time.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" he whispers into her ear, his teeth grazing her lobe, the action sending shivers down her spine.

"You were right, I am afraid of letting people in. But for the first time in a long time, I want something more. I'm willing to let you in."

Killian leans back, looking at her with so much love as he gives her one of his toothy grin. She mirrors his smile as he moves his hand behind her head, tilting her head to the side as he kisses her senseless. It's as if he's pouring out all the emotions he's been holding back for the past few weeks.

His hands move lower, squeezing her backside as he moves them towards the counter, her back hitting the kitchen island. He can't seem to stop kissing her, not that she minds, not at all. He thrusts his hips forward, his erection pressing on the seam of her jeans, the sensation enough to make her grip his biceps and moan.

"Easy there, tiger," she chuckles. He moves his lips down her throat and playfully bites her the skin above her collarbone. "So I guess we're not friends with benefits anymore, are we?" It's her turn to nuzzle his neck, inhaling his spicy scent.

"I guess not. Tell me, love, what are we?"

"I think it's safe to say we're dating." He hums at that, and she can feel the vibration run through his body.

"In that case, I should take you out on a date, a proper one."

"And what is a proper date?" She's smiling, she can't seem to stop, and he smiles back. how on earth did she want to deny this? Stupid, she was very stupid.

"Me picking you up at the apartment, take you out to a nice restaurant, and go for a walk under the stars."

"Very proper indeed."

"Don't worry, Swan, it'll get improper once we're home." He gives her a salacious smirk, one filled with dirty promises she knows he can deliver on.

"I bet it will." He kisses her again, and it doesn't take that much time until they are both hot and bothered. She really wants more; she missed him so much, missed the way he touched her, how he made her feel so full and sated. She wants this, but oddly enough, she wants to take things slow this time around.

"Killian, wait." She can hear herself whine as her lips leave his, although she doesn't stop gripping the front of his flannel shirt.

"What is it, love? Want to move somewhere more comfortable?" He squeezes both her breasts as he bites down on her shoulder.

"Fuck," she gasps as she tries to remember what she wanted to say. "Killian, let's wait."

That gets him to stop, his hands resting on her hips as he comically raises one of thick eyebrows.

"Emma Swan wants to wait. That's new," he teases.

She scoffs and bats him in the chest. "It's just, this is new. It's a new beginning for us. I was thinking we can do things the right way for once, and have sex, you know, after the date, not before." She's blushing. She, Emma Swan, is blushing because she's asking her boyfriend (yes, she decided, she's calling him her boyfriend) to wait to have sex.

"A bit unconventional for us, don't you think?" he asks. She shrugs at that, which only makes him smile even wider. "I guess we spice things up and restrain ourselves a little."

"Good."

-/-

Killian doesn't remember the last time he's smiled so much. Nor can he remember being this aroused without being able to do anything about it. After their talk, he and Emma decide to move from the kitchen to the living room, which ends up being a very bad idea. Bodies pressed together and wandering hands bring them right back to their previous predicament, with Emma reminding him once again that they are taking things slow.

They decide to go out for a walk around Liam's neighborhood, since they are sure to keep their hands to themselves in public, although they do end up holding hands. As they walk, they talk about their upcoming date and decide to wait for him to come back to the apartment the next day. He's excited that that he'll actually be able to pick her up.

He walks her to her car and she inevitably ends up pressed on the door of her yellow Bug. It's tough for him not to react, but both of them are trying really hard to control their hormones. He reluctantly lets her go, and for the first time this week, he doesn't want to be over at Liam's. Up until Emma showed up, he was considering moving in with his brother while he searched for a new apartment. How could he keep living in the place that held so many memories of what he'd shared with Emma before she rejected him? But now, things are different—very different—and the only thing he wants is to be with her and never let go.

He can't sleep that night thanks to his excitement, and when he does manage to sleep, he dreams of golden hair and green eyes. He wakes up well before his alarm goes up and decides to take advantage of the early start. He brews himself some coffee as he thinks over tonight's dinner plan and scours the internet in search of nice restaurant where he could take Emma. As he finalizes his plans,, he receives a text from his brother announcing him that they are on their way and should be there in an hour or so. Killian takes it as his cue to do the duties they assigned him one last time, which pretty much consists of watering the plants, dusting here and there, and sweeping the floor. He's done by the time his brother and sister-in-law walk through the door.

Liam quickly notices the change in his mood, and it isn't long before he's sitting at the kitchen table with him while Elsa prepares tea. He tells them about the previous night's events, although he tactfully omits omitting any mentions of them making out as horny teenagers. Liam is surprised by the news while Elsa grins at him and moves around the table to hug him.

After they finish their tea, he excuses himself and goes over to the guest room to grab a few necessities before heading towards the shower to start getting ready for his date. He trims his beard, realizing that he did indeed let himself go this past week, and then proceeds on rummaging through his bag in search of a nice shirt that he'll be able to wear.

Liam hugs him as he's about to leave, telling him not to muck it up with Emma and he thanks him for letting him stay over at his house for a few days. Elsa wraps her arms around him as well and wishes him good luck.

"Don't muck it up." Liam tells him as he hugs him.

"I won't, trust me." His brother claps him on the back one last time.

"Good luck Killian." Elsa whispers into his ear as she hugs him tightly. He kisses her cheek and thanks them both for letting him stay over at their house for a few days.

It's been a long time since he's been nervous like this, although it's the good kind of nervous. He makes a quick stop before heading to his place—their place—and when he arrives in front of the building, he takes a deep breath before through the glass door and making his way towards the lift.

When he gets to the door to the apartment, he pauses. Should he knock, or just unlock the door and go inside? Letting the romantic in him win, he drops his overnight bag on the carpet so he can hide one hand behind his back and use his free hand to knock on the door.

His jaw drops to the floor when he sees Emma. Over the past year, he's has seen her get ready for dates quite a few times, and each time, he'd been unable to admit that he was a tad jealous of the prick she was going to go out with. The way she looks now, puts all those past looks to shame. The dress she's wearing for was simple, with black at the top, with a sweetheart neckline and thick straps. The skirt is a creamy white, hugging her curves perfectly, and the hem hits the top of her knees. Her legs look amazing, her black heels enhancing the muscles of her calves.

He hears Emma chuckle and say something like 'that's the reaction I was aiming for' and that's when he manages to look up. She's as beautiful as ever, just a bit of makeup enhancing her natural features and making her green eyes pop, and her hair is pulled back in a sophisticated ponytail. He closes his mouth, which he notices is dry, and feels entirely at lost for words. Before he makes a fool out of himself, he decides to give her the single red rose he purchased on his way over.

"You look stunning, Swan."

Her cheeks turn as red as the flower as she takes the rose from him, and he swears he has never seen a sight as beautiful as this one.

"Thank you," she whispers as she dips her nose to smell it. "Let me put this in water and we can go."

He's convinced she's trying to kill him as she turns around and gives her a wicked look over her shoulder before heading for the kitchen. He takes a step inside long enough for him to put his overnight bag in the hallway and returns to wait by the door.

"Afraid to come inside?" she teases as she grabs her purse from the bench.

"I'm afraid that if I come inside, I won't be able to keep my hands to myself."

She blushes as she walks past him and out the door. "Well, I was promised a date."

He grins at her as they finally make their way out of the building. It doesn't take long for the to link their fingers together, lightly swinging their arms back and forward as they walk to the restaurant.

The evening is everything he could have hoped for and more. So much more. The morning before he had woken up sad and hollow, convinced that he would never seen Emma again. She had been so scared about her own feelings that she pushed him away. He had an inkling back then that she had feelings for him but when she left, all certainty vanished along with her. He had started to come to terms with the fact that it was all in his head, that whatever he thought they could have was only the hopeless romantic in him. And he had then sworn for the second time in his life that love only brought pain and misery.

Until yesterday. When he'd seen her standing on the porch, he had been convinced that his mind was playing tricks on him. He's never expected her to come to him, especially while he was over at his brother's. Even though he had been pleasantly surprised to see her there, he'd still been wary of the reason for her arrival. If he'd learned one thing over the years, when it came to matters of the heart, it was that anything could happen, good or bad.

For as long as he'd known Emma, he'd known that she spoke through actions more than through words. So when she'd actually told him that she was ready and willing to let him in, he'd felt as if all his previous pain and worry had been washed away. Having her speak from the heart meant everything. He didn't take her effort for granted.

And the date is going well; he can tell Emma is enjoying herself. There's a glint in her eyes whenever she smiles at him, and she's laughing without restraint and constantly seeking out his hand with hers.t When they finish eating, they decide to go out for a drink at the bar where he sometimes plays with Robin. There are a few people he knows there, but tonight he wants privacy, so he opts for a booth where they'll be left alone.

It barely takes two drinks for them to lose some of their self control. Killian begins nuzzling Emma's neck, while his hand slips higher on her inner thigh. The tips of his fingers graze her lacy panties and he groans when he feels how damp they are. She swallows a moan when he presses his fingers lightly on her bundle of nerves, and her hips thrust forward.

"Killian," she whines. "Take me home before I do something indecent, like climbing on your lap and having my way with you." He groans at her words, his cock now rock hard as he imagines her riding him right there.

"Give me a minute love." He readjusts his pants as best as he can, while Emma smirks at him and tells him she'll head to the bathroom while he gets his erection under control.

Five minutes later, the bill is payed and they are outside and on their way back to their place. The walk is silent, except for the sound of the feet hitting the pavement. He can feel the tension between them, how eager they are to have each other again after all this time.

He expects them to get to their apartment and not even wait to get to one of their rooms before they take their clothes off. But to his surprise, Emma takes her time entering the hallway and makes no move to kiss him or tear his clothes off. It's so unlike them. But that was before, he reminds himself, when their relationship was basically just sex. Now, they're dating; things are different. Emma takes him by the hand and slowly leads him to her room.

She turns the lamp on her end table on, and then turns her back to him and looks at him over her shoulder. He gets the hint and closes the distance between them, his hand going for the zipper of her dress. He's in no hurry, the pads of his fingertips caressing the skin of her neck and shoulders, his lips following each touch. She shivers when her dress falls to her hips, his hands moving towards her front, caressing her stomach up to her breasts. Her head falls back on his shoulders and he takes the occasion to suck on her pulse point as he plays with her her nipples through the lace of her bra.

Killian can feel her pushing her hips back, his erection pressing between her cheeks. He feels as if he's a rubber band about to snap, but takes a deep breath to keep himself under control and maintain the slow pace. Emma's hand moves back, cupping the back of his neck as best she can as he takes her earlobe between his teeth.

"Oh fuck Killian. I want you so much." She finally turns around to kiss him. It's passionate and eager, but at the same time, there's a tenderness that was never there before. He doesn't know how to explain it, but he feels full of love, like it's coursing through his veins.

They slowly divest themselves of their clothes and move to her bed. They each take their turn on exploring every inch of each other's bodies, teasing one another by touching everywhere except the place they are burning to be touched. Normally, one of them would have begged the other to move things along, but tonight, everything is different.

When he finally puts a condom on and settles between her legs, she takes her time to pull him towards her, kissing him slowly. He can feel her small delicate hand move between them, grasping his length and guiding it towards her entrance as she keeps her lips sealed with his. It's slow and tender as he rocks his hips forward. They can't seem to stop kissing, moaning into each others mouth until they feel their climaxes closing in. Their foreheads are pressed together, and they both pant and moan until he feels Emma's walls tightened around his shaft, triggering his own release.

For the first time ever, they bask in the afterglow of their lovemaking. They take their time cleaning themselves up, and then she cuddles with him, letting their legs tangle together. He has never felt this happy, loved, and sated. He can't stop the smile spreading across his lips when she closes her eyes with a faint smile on her face.

-/-

Emma wakes up the next morning with Killian's body warming her bed. She snuggles into his chest, and she feels him stir and awaken.

"What time is it?" he slurs as he tightens his hold on her.

"It's still early," she murmurs before presses a kiss on his shoulder.

He hums at the touch, and slowly opens his eyes. He seems so happy, which further reinforces how foolish she was to believe that she didn't have feelings for him. It was all in the past now, and she is beyond grateful that she's come to her senses, letting herself enjoy what it means to love and be loved. Well, they haven't said the words yet, but knows they'll come soon, either from her or him. And for the first time, the thought of love, the words and the emotion, isn't something that is makes her want to run away.

"What is it love?" She smiles at the term of endearment, fitting well with her thoughts.

"I'm just realizing how happy I am, and how there isn't anywhere else I would want to be." She can see his Adam's apple bob up and down followed by a small exhale of air.

"I'm happy too. I hope you know that."

"I do." She presses her lips on his, her fingers caressing his hair.

"I have something to ask you."

"Do ask."

Emma bites her lip. It's silly for her to be nervous and ask him this, but she can't help it.

"Would you like to be my plus one to my sister's wedding?"

Killian tucks his arm behind his head as he makes a show of thinking about her invitation. She rolls her eyes at the fact that he needs to make her wait in such dramatic fashion.

"Well, it depends. Am I to go as a friend or your roommate?"

"How about boyfriend?"

"Mmm, I could get used to that."

"Good."

She leans down to kiss him but he shifts them over so she's laying on her back with him on top, the action making her yelp.

She really doesn't know who she was kidding when she told him that they were friends with benefits only. Killian is definitely a whole lot more than that.

I finally managed to push through my writer's block in addition of the amount of things I had to deal with. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get this chapter ready but life happened.

This is the last chapter of this story, there won't be an epilogue since I feel like it doesn't need one. I really hope you enjoyed this last chapter. A lot of you have been supportive and some of you sent me some very lovely messages through ao3, tumblr and here, and I really appreciate them!

A big thanks to my beta phiralovesloki, you are an amazing beta but most importantly an amazing friend who listened to me rant and was there for me over the past few challenging months! 3

Once again, a big thank you to you all for reading this story!

I love you all! xxxxx