Erin turned off her phone as another text message from Alison popped up on her screen. It had been thirty-six hours since the incident at the harbor and Erin had received approximately two hundred apologetic messages from Alison in that time.

She had replied to the first few messages and assured Alison that she didn't blame her for what happened at the club; honestly, Erin was as much to blame anybody else. But her friend was still horrified that Erin had been kidnapped and held hostage by her psycho ex-boyfriend while in her company—although Alison still didn't know all the details about Erin's past and who Charlie was.

All Erin wanted from Alison was some space and for her to keep it quiet from their circle of friends, but she had received some cryptic 'hey, hope you're doing well' messages from mutual friends so she figured at least some of the news had gotten out.

Erin stretched out her arms as she yawned and felt her stomach rumble, signaling that her appetite was slowly returning. She was on some pain medication and the last few days had been so stressful that she hadn't been eating regularly. Erin had only spent a few hours in the hospital getting checked over before asking her dad if she could go back home. She hated hospitals, mostly because her last memory of one was seeing her mom lying with tubes and bandages and being told she was never waking up, and Erin refused to spend more time there than necessary. Her doctor had been hesitant to let her go, but her head CT came back clear despite having hit the decking hard enough to draw blood. Once Erin's temperature had been brought up and she was no longer at risk of hypothermia, she was discharged and taken home.

Well, to her father's.

But it was her home too.

Erin knew that for all her efforts to escape the place as teenager and even a few days previously, she was now more than happy to stay in the safety of her old childhood home and in the company of her dad, who hadn't said much to her since she'd returned but she knew that he didn't mind her being around.

However, being home was a constant reminder of how badly she had ruined everything and everything she had lost—or could have lost—by her reckless actions. To say that she had spent the last two days contemplating her choices would be an understatement.

She had a lot of fences to mend.

Her stomach rumbled angrily and Erin decided she better get some food. The doctor had told her that she needed to keep her energy up to aid her recovery and her dad had taken that advice very seriously. He had been making all of her favorites: mashed potatoes, tuna pasta bake, her grandma's chili. Childhood staples that she hadn't had in a long time but reminded them both of better days.

Erin caught sight of herself in the mirror and winced. Her lip had a few small stitches and was still healing and there was bruising across one side of her face from when she hit the deck. She had a few stitches on her forehead too. Within a few weeks, they would begin to fade. Her doctor had said she may end up with a couple of small scars but they wouldn't be noticeable within a year or so. She opened and closed her mouth a few times. It was painful but it helped keep her jaw loose. She was careful not to aggravate her healing lip too much, knowing that scar would probably be a little more noticeable for a while.

She opened her bedroom door but stopped at the sight of something she hadn't seen in a long time. Light poured into the hallway from a door that had remained shut for eight years. Justin's bedroom door was open and part of Erin inherently panicked for fear of an intruder. But she knew it was just her dad, which was an even scarier thought.

After a moment's hesitation, Erin walked slowly towards Justin's room, apprehensive of what she might find inside. She stopped at the doorway and peered inside. Voight was sitting on the floor of his son's room, spinning a football in his hand. He glanced up when he saw Erin's figure in the doorway.

"Hey." Erin said softly. "You okay?"

Voight nodded but didn't meet her eye. Erin cleared her throat and walked into her brother's room, sitting down gingerly next to her dad. She looked around, taking in the achingly familiar sight of the forest green walls and pine colored furniture. Everything was mostly the same. After Justin's death, she and her dad had gone through his belongings and sent a lot of clothes to Goodwill. But other things were there; some trophies, a few textbooks, his soccer cleats still lined neatly against the closet. There was a Black Eyed Peas CD gathering dust on desk and Erin chuckled.

"I've been looking for this for years." She pointed at the desk. "I mean, they were cool when I lost it. Should have known he'd have it even though he swore he was too cool for them. He would be yelling at me to get out of his room if he knew I was here."

Her dad didn't say anything and Erin's grin faded. She licked her chapped and swollen lips and absent-mindedly picked at the carpet.

"I'm really sorry, dad." She said, not for the first time in the last thirty-six hours. "I know I've been a huge disappointment, especially over these last few weeks. I never meant for anything like this to happen. I know you warned me but I… I was so mad at being told what to do all the time, that I did the opposite and pushed you away and I shouldn't have. I know you were trying to protect me, but sometimes I wish you would just let me make my own mistakes. The last few mistakes I've made have been huge, and I am aware of that, but I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing you. I'm really sorry."

She hated seeing her dad this way. He was naturally stoic but in the years since Justin and her mom died, he had hardened. Now, he wasn't just stony, but he was sad. She hated knowing she was the reason for him being sad.

"I wish I had made some better choices. Not just now but also after mom and Justin died." Erin roughly wiped at the tears forming in her eyes.

"I should have made some different choices too." Voight said quietly. "You're not the only one who made mistakes. I made a lot too."

"Do you think mom would have been disappointed in me?" Erin wiped the edge of her nose with her sweater.

"No." Voight replied instantly. "No, she would have been proud of you."

Erin couldn't hold back the sob that escaped her lips and she let her dad pull her into a reassuring hug.

"I'm proud of you too. You are a smart, capable young woman and I know that no-one else would have been able to turn their life around like you did. You've made some mistakes but you've also done so much to try to fix them and learn from them. I should have told you that more often." He kissed the side of her head. Even though he accidentally pressed where her forehead had stitches, Erin didn't mind.

"Mom would have been really proud of you too." Erin reassured as she pulled out of the hug to look at her father. "You've kept me safe. It wasn't you who got me into this situation with Charlie. You're the one who kept digging me out. I should have seen that earlier."

Voight took hold of her hand. "We need to start trusting each other, Erin. I don't see how we can move past this without that."

"I know. I promise we'll do better." Erin promised.

She rested her head on her dad's shoulder, breathing in the scent of his cologne. Not one he used to wear when she was a kid but still a little bit familiar. Erin looked around the room again. "What made you open this door?"

Voight shrugged. "I was missing him. I talk to your mom a lot and ask for her advice. But I never really ask Justin. He always knew you better than either your mom or I did. You used to follow him around all the time." He chuckled, low and deep and Erin could feel the vibration against her ear. "He used to be so mad about it but I think he secretly liked it."

"Sometimes I wonder what he'd be doing if he was still alive. Like, I could never have pictured him in a suit and tie. God, he would go crazy if he had to go to an office every day." She rolled her eyes. "And I don't see him being a cop like you, but I think he'd be a firefighter or something. He'd be helping people." She let out a small sigh. "I haven't seen this room in so long. We still have so much of his stuff in here. I thought we cleared it all out."

"I was thinking I should probably clear the room and start using it. It's been closed up for too long. I know your mom wanted to turn it into a study when Justin went off to college and I still have her book collection up in the attic along with that pair of antique chairs your grandma left to me. Maybe I could bring them down and build a set of bookshelves for your mom's books."

"I think that's a good idea, dad." Erin said. "It'd be nice to have a fresh start."

Pouring a cup of coffee with one working arm was not the easiest thing in the world, but it was easier than what Jay had to do next. It was his first (and likely last) day back to the office since the events three days previously. Despite it being a Saturday, the rest of the team were also in the office, finishing up paperwork and going through debriefs as they wrapped up the case. Charlie had been charged with harassment and kidnapping, and assaulting a police officer, and was guaranteed a long trip back to prison. Wade Hollis had also rolled on some of Charlie's other associates so their work had taken a few more days to complete after Erin's rescue.

Saturday was also Voight's first day back taking the reins back from Olinsky, which meant that Jay would shortly be leaving the unit.

Jay felt something hit him on his shoulder and he turned to see Antonio smiling.

"Five points on Jay Ball!" he announced. Jay couldn't stop himself from grinning.

"That's not fair, I'm injured." Jay said as he picked up the ball of paper on the floor. "Besides, next week you'll probably have to start playing Mouse Ball." Jay threw the paper back towards Antonio but it missed.

"Oof, with that throw, I'm kind of glad you're too injured to be on our softball team." Antonio joked. Jay chuckled and shook his head as he settled at his desk—or what was his desk.

"Halstead." Voight appeared at the doorway of his office and beckoned Jay.

Not for the first time in recent weeks, Jay could feel his friends' eyes on him as he walked through the bullpen. They tried to disguise their stares but it was impossible to. He knew if he was in their position, he wouldn't be able to help but watch either.

He stepped into Voight's office and closed the door behind him. Voight was sitting at his desk, looking over some papers and didn't look at him or tell him to sit so Jay remained standing.

"I'm trying to write a letter to the sergeant of the next unit you'll work for." Voight began. Jay swallowed hard. "I'm struggling to finish it. You broke a lot of rules and ignored instructions."

"Yes, sir." Jay could feel his palms beginning to sweat.

"You were insubordinate on more than one occasion and put yourself in dangerous situations. You made many mistakes on a very high profile and sensitive case. You're too young and too rash. Your decision making has been subpar. You're certainly not objective enough." Voight continued.

"Yes, sir."

"You'll find it extremely difficult to get into a good unit." Voight leveled his gaze at Jay.

"I know, sir."

Silence hung in the air as Voight leaned back in his chair and studied Jay, who tried his best not to stare directly at his boss. Voight shook his head.

"That's what I'm counting on."

Jay's breath caught in his throat and he looked over at Voight. Voight ran his finger across a white envelope in his hand. Jay recognized it as containing his notice of resignation that he had submitted earlier that week. The seal hadn't been broken so it meant Voight hadn't read it. Jay opened his mouth to ask but Voight pushed the envelope across his desk towards the younger detective.

"It'd be a damn shame to lose you and I don't want any other unit to have you. I'm not accepting this."

"I don't understand." Jay said.

"Neither do I." Voight rubbed his eyes. "This has been a tough case for us all; you and me especially. I think that perhaps we both took things further than we should have. I've spoken to the rest of the team. They helped me realize that perhaps I also make a lot of rash decisions and I didn't have much objectivity in this case either. Now, if you still want to leave, then you can hand me back this letter and I'll open it, and that will be that. But I'm really hoping you don't."

"Thank you, sir."

"And I owe you an apology. For a lot of things I said and that I did." He motioned towards Jay's face, currently sporting several bruises. "I know one of those is because of me, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken my frustrations out on you. And I'm not just talking about your eye; I mean that I shouldn't have sidelined you so much and made you feel that you couldn't be a part of this unit. We're a family here and I forgot that."

Jay was speechless. He had expected to fight for his job. He hadn't expected Voight to have had a change of heart. Maybe not even a change. Jay was amazed that his resignation had remained unopened. Maybe Voight had been too busy with the case, maybe he had forgotten all about it, maybe he had decided to ignore it. The important fact was… it had never been filed and Voight was letting him decide his future.

Voight seemed to have noticed Jay's hesitation. "I don't need an answer now."

What was that in his voice? Reassurance? Encouragement? Jay felt as if he had stepped into the twilight zone.

"I'm authorizing you two weeks' medical leave. You need the time to recover physically and it's policy." Voight informed him. "Take that time to decide about your future, but I do want you to know that your place here is still yours…if you want it."

"Thank you, sir." Jay nodded.

"I'll see you Sunday."

"Sunday?"

"The precinct picnic. Ruzek will want you on the softball team." They both looked down at Jay's plastered arm. "Or maybe you can hand out waters."

Voight offered him a sliver of a smile. As much of an olive branch that he could give. Jay nodded. Grateful. Shocked. Happy. Confused. He was all of those things but he was also monumentally relieved. He knew that his relationship with Voight, and even some of the others, might take time to repair and to regain each other's trust; but it wasn't in the obliterated state Jay had expected it to be.

And yet—he still needed to know. He had to ask.

"Sir, has Erin—"

Voight's lips shifted into a tight line. His gaze dropped but he sounded almost apologetic. "No, she hasn't."

Jay didn't reply. He simply nodded and left Voight's office, closing the door gently behind him and looking out at the bullpen. His friends and colleagues were all there. Olinsky was writing up some notes. He knew that he probably would have to speak to Olinsky at some point soon to clear the air between them. Regardless of if Jay was staying or leaving, he didn't want there to be any animosity between them. Maybe at lunch he would try and get Olinsky alone and talk it out.

Antonio and Mouse were going through some footage at Mouse's desk. Atwater was organizing some of the case files before filing. He was finishing off the half-eaten croissant that Antonio had abandoned at his desk. He spotted Jay watching him and gave him a goofy grin. The air in the bullpen was lighter now. It had returned to how it had been previously; before it felt like all of them were walking on eggshells around each other, too afraid to speak.

Ruzek was at the caseboard. He had pulled down most of the photos but when he saw Jay, he picked up the board eraser and held it out to him.

"I think you should do the honors." He said. Jay chuckled and took the eraser with his good hand. He read the board one last time; practically memorized by now. Jay had studied this board so many times over the last few weeks that he could recite it like a lullaby. He was sick of looking at it.

Jay held the eraser against the board, took a deep breath, and began to wipe. He watched as all the pen marks disappeared and he was left with a blank, white board.

Case closed.

It was a strangely warm day for a February afternoon. Jay was reconsidering his decision to wear a leather jacket to the picnic, especially since he was already uncomfortable in his cast. He arrived when the picnic was already in full swing. He had missed most of the early afternoon events for the kids, but he got there before Intelligence's softball game and the chili judging.

Atwater spotted Jay first and jogged up to him, a catcher's mitt in his right hand and his baseball cap turned backwards. "I'm so glad you're here, man." He said instead of a 'hello'. "Ruzek is going crazy about this game. He's acting like this is the World Series. I need help."

"I can't do much about that," Jay pointed to his cast.

"There's still a while before the game so you should get yourself a drink and some food."

"Okay. Are you coming with?" Jay asked. Atwater shot him a look.

"Ruzek has us running laps to warm up. Mouse is already hiding out somewhere and I'm meant to be finding him." Atwater pulled out his sunglasses and put them on, looking effortlessly cool as he did; even in a softball jersey that looked a little small on his big frame.

Jay made a face. "Maybe I'm glad my arm's broken. I'll have a look around and I'll send Mouse your way if I see him."

"Thanks, man." Atwater said gratefully. "If Ruzek is hit by a ball this afternoon, it's totally an accident." He winked as he ran back towards where Ruzek was calling for him.

Jay noticed Burgess talking to Platt (and not enjoying it) when he approached where the bulk of the guests were. She spotted him approaching and her features instantly relaxed, giving her the opportunity to make her excuses to leave Platt.

"Thank god," she said as she ran up to Jay. "Platt was complaining about Mercer spilling soup in his patrol car and I couldn't listen any longer about how it still smells like minestrone. How's the arm?" She asked.

"Itchy, but I'm trying not to think about it." Jay replied with a grin. "Do you know where to get a beer from?"

"Oh, I'll show you." Burgess offered and led him through the throngs of people. "Adam told me you're heading to Wisconsin tomorrow."

"Yeah, I've got medical leave so I thought I'd spend time out there with my dad. Clear my head, you know?" Burgess opened up one of the dozen coolers near the chili cook-off tent. Jay could hear Roman happily chatting to other officers about his grandfather's recipe.

"I'm glad that Roman's talking to me again." Jay commented. Burgess rolled her eyes.

"All I've heard about for weeks is his grandfather's recipe."

"Have you tried any yet?"

"Yeah, and it's amazing. But I can't tell him that. I'll wait for the official judging to come through. I don't want his ego to get any bigger. There's not enough room in our patrol car."

Burgess uncapped a bottle and handed it to Jay. "I heard Adam is running a pretty tight ship on the softball team."

"Oh my god, is he looking for me?" She asked in horror. "I promised I'd help him practice pitching."

Jay shrugged. "I don't know but Atwater's looking for Mouse and Adam is making everyone run laps so maybe?"

Burgess gave him an apologetic sigh. "I better go make sure no-one tries to murder him. Make sure you get some food." She said as she made a hasty exit.

Jay sat by the makeshift bar and watched as his colleagues and their families milled around the park. There were still a lot of officers at the precinct that he hadn't met yet and today would be a good opportunity to meet them. He had already received a lot of looks and heard some officers whispering so he gathered that everyone knew about him. Or at least some versions of events from the last few weeks.

He felt a shadow approach from behind him and the faint scene of familiar perfume filled the air. He turned to see Erin standing a few feet away.

"Can I sit?" She asked tentatively. He nodded mutely, gesturing to the chair next to him. She sat down and scratched at a stain on her jeans, the two of them sitting in a fragile and uncomfortable silence.

In the afternoon light, he could see the bruises and stitches over her face. It made him wince; not because it was ugly, but because he knew the role he had played in her receiving them. He hadn't seen her clearly when they had been leaving the hospital, but now she was less than five feet away, the reality was impossible to miss. She had tried to cover some of her bruises up with make-up but it hadn't made much of a difference. He caught sight of his face in the reflection of his phone and he knew that he wasn't doing much better.

"We look like quite the pair, right?" Erin joked, breaking the silence. "If either of us was trying to keep a low profile, we've failed."

"Yeah." Jay didn't know what else to say. Much like his conversation with Voight the day before, he didn't know what to expect. He figured it might be a family trait. They sat in silence for a few moments and Jay noticed the judging was starting on the chili cook-off. "Aren't you meant to be judging that?"

Erin shook her head and pointed to her face. "I can't really open my mouth much."

"Oh." Jay started peeling off the label on the back of his beer.

"I came over to thank you for helping me and getting me off that boat." She began. She wasn't looking at him and her voice was low and held a little bit of a lisp. He figured that was from the stitches in her lip.

"It's not a big deal."

"No, it is. I was horrible to you. My dad told me you're the one who figured out that Charlie was on the boat. If you hadn't kept working, then they may have found me too late. I owe you possibly my life." Her voice shook slightly. "But there's still a lot of stuff there that I'm not sure I can forgive. Yet."

"I'm sorry I lied to you." Jay said. "I know you've heard it a lot but I really am. I never intended to lead you on."

"Was anything you told me the truth?" She asked. "About your family?"

"I do have a brother who is a doctor. My grandfather really did build a cabin in Wyoming. My mom died when I was a senior in high school; I wouldn't lie about that. I was an army medic and I am 25 years old. I am a detective and your dad assigned me to your protective detail. And I really did want to kiss you."

"Detective…" Erin began with a shake of her head. Her natural color was beginning to grow back over her blonde hair. Jay wondered if she would go back to brunette or keep it blonde.

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be saying it, but I thought I should tell you the truth." After the last few weeks, Jay had resolved he wasn't going to lie anymore. It had brought nothing but trouble.

"My dad tells me you're staying on." Erin changed the subject.

"Yeah."

"I'm glad." She bit lightly on the good part of her lip. "It might take me a while to trust you again. Well, not just you. My dad and Uncle Al too. I really got hurt by the people that I trusted. So I'm going to spend time with my dad and I've still got my thesis to write."

"Okay."

"But after that, maybe we could start being friends." She said. "That seems like a good place to start."

Jay couldn't help but be a little disappointed but was buoyed by her promise of friendship somewhere along the road. There was hope behind those words. Maybe not everything had been lost. Erin slid off her chair and stood in front of Jay. She extended her arm and held out her hand for Jay to shake.

"Hi, I'm Erin. It's nice to meet you, Jay."

THE END

Phew! Thanks to everyone who stuck with this. I had no idea it would be this long. This wasn't meant to take me three and a half years, but if you're still reading this, then a huge thank you! I probably wouldn't have finished if not for all the comments and encouragement over the years. I hope maybe it was worth the wait?