"DON'T TOUCH MY LEAVES!" shouted Link quickly running at Saria and Malon, sword magically appearing in his hands." THEY BE MY SHIT!"
Saria and Malon quickly dropped the leaves they had in their hands, running away from Link for the tenth time this week, all because of his stupid leaves. Link, The Hero of Time and Green, loved leaves more than anything. Leaves are life, leaves are love and without them he would be the only one in Hyrule without an entire house and yard filled with leaves. The only one without the love of nature at his disposal, and without something to hold at night and without someone to love like his leaf woman, Nocturnal, and without leaves in his hair and his pants and even his hair. Without leaves, Link was naked, literally and figuratively.
"This is getting old!" shouted Malon to her sprinting friend Saria, who managed to keep up with her." And time consuming!"
"I agree although we're fitter than we've ever been!" shouted Saria, earning a giggle in agreement from her friendly milk girl.
"I'M GONNA WRECK YA!" screamed Link, throwing a boomerang he pulled out of his ass at the two." WITH MY ASS-A-RANG!"
"Shit, he's getting serious! RUN GIRL!" shouted Saria, sprinting faster vanishing into the woodland area nearby.
"RIGHT BEHIND YA!" shouted Malon, quickly taking a left turn, jumping over a fence as she landed back at the ranch.
Malon quickly sighed in relief, placing her hands on her hips, letting her breathing slow down before she waled away from the fence.
"Just what are we gonna do about Link?" asked Malon to herself, placing a hand on her chin looking at the clear blue sky." His obsession with leaves has gotten out of hand, so out of hand to the point he has been stealing other people's leaves. Not that it matters, since we don't have to get the leaves from out of our yards anymore, but still. He needs help."
Quickly and silently four birds landed on her head, taking shelter in her fiery red hair as they quickly fell asleep.
"But if he help him, then he'll never forgive us or worse: He'll take our milk and drink it all!"
"NOT THE MILK!" shouted Her Father quickly waking up from his nap, jumping out of the window and sprinting towards the barn." QUICK WE MUST HID IT BEFORE HE GETS IT ALL! THE MILK APOCOLAPYSE IS UPON US!"
Malon blinked twice, stopping dead in her tracks as she watched her father lift four times his own weight, taking that load into their house. She shook her head in disbelief as she continued her walk.
"Then there's everyone else. The world's starting to become crazier than ever before with Zelda worrying over whether or not her butt's too big, or her hair looks a mess-which would be normal princess stuff now that I think about it. Then there's Ruto, who's sane despite everyone in her kingdom shouting random nonsense, and to top it all off, there's a Goron in my yard smoking a pipe!"
The Goron quickly rolled into a ball, rolling as fast as he could out of there while Malon threw her hands up in the air; giving a death glare to the sky.
"WHY ON NAYRU IS THIS HAPPING!?"
"Naryu, why is this happening?" asked Din, quickly waking up to her fellow goddess who was busy reading the Hyrule news.
"Don't ask me because I have no clue," replied Naryu, flipping through the paper to a more interesting topic. Her eye widened as she found something interesting." Say, Din, did you know that there's this magical place called a website that the mortals use for multiple things."
"No, but this sounds interesting," gasped Din, quickly taking a seat in from of Naryu, listening attentively.
"Well, the mortals use it for multiple purposes, but what really gets me is that there's this place called ," translated Naryu, still in wild wonder.
"Fan fiction-what?" asked Din tilting her head.
"It's a place where authors write about their favorite show, games, cartoons, and so on. Apparently, it's very popular especially in the shipping department, but what gets me is that these characters have no clue that they're in a story at all!? Can you believe how stupid they are for not realizing that-"
Suddenly, Din turned her head to the wall behind Nayru, noticing that the wall was oddly see through.
"Say, Nayru, was the wall behind you always so….transparent?"
Nayru turned her attention toward the wall, taking notice of how transparent it really is." No, I haven't, but that's strange. Very strange."
They both stare deeply at the wall, their eyes managing to penetrate the barrier still guarding it, into the realm of make-believe. They are staring at you, the reader, managing to somehow stumble into the realm of Hyrule and its madness. In response, you wonder why you're reading this or why I'm talking to you or why I'm telling you but one question is for certain-
"WHERE IS THAT VOICE COMING FROM!?" shouted The Two Goddess', quickly looking around the room for the source of the sound.