So once again Book girl fan has given me a wonderful little prompt to answer (love the things she picks out!). She asked me in a review of Shock and Awe if Merlin knew exactly how impossible what he had done was. To be honest, I had not even thought of that so when I sat down to write a response I wasn't really sure where it was going.

Initially I had thought to have Arthur tell him but because it was emotional I had trouble writing a believable (in my mind) conversation, so I put my computer away for the night. But it kept bugged me so eventually I thought about Gwen. She's been very much a supporting character and I've been relying heavily on her understood character from the show (who I think could have been developed more, but there were a lot of things that should have kept going...like the show - sorry I digress). But I realized she has the most open emotional relationship with Merlin so she would be the best one to have the conversation. So instead of Arthur and Merlin, its Gwen and Merlin. This was surprisingly one of my favorite stories I've written because I got to explore a new character and I think I got to open up new possibilities for any later stories I might write. Again I'm sorry for this long monologue at the front, for those of you who read it, thank you :)

I hope you enjoy! And Book girl fan, I hope this is what you were looking for!

He was drowsing when he heard the door's latch gently click open but it was the padding sound of soft shoes that drew his attention. This wasn't Arthur; someone else had come in to see him. Still with the strength of Gaius's drafts he wasn't sure if he would be able to wake to anything other than his pretentious and loud prince. Still there was something about the owner of the quiet footsteps that drew his attention. The chair beside his bed was delicately picked up so it didn't scrape on the floor but he still heard it crunch as it was repositioned. When the mysterious person sat down next to the bed, ceasing all other movement, he realized why his consciousness had reacted the way it had: the person was sniffling softly, like they had just finished crying. The sound drew him to the surface of his floating mind, whoever this was, and he had an idea who, needed help. Grimacing slightly as he forced his mind to the surface, he turned his still aching head enough to see his visitor. His groggy mind did not keep him from noticing the expression on her beautiful face and he knew something was bothering her,

"Gwen, what's wrong?" It was the first time he'd spoken in a while and his voice sounded like he had been gargling gravel.

Her surprise told him that she had not intended for him to wake up, "I-I'm sorry Merlin. I…I…uh…just came up here to sit with you, to make sure you were okay. I mean I knew you were okay because Gaius said you should be up in the next few days without much of a problem," her gaze drifted down to his still bandaged feet, "but I just, I wanted to make sure. Arthur's only just started walking the last day or so. He tried to come up here to see you but Gaius told him that if he did he would give him a potion that would knock him flat. He's only allowed to walk around his room and in the hallway outside until the sutures I sowed are taken out." She looked up at him after that and Merlin could see that he had been right, she had been crying, "he says hello by the way and that you need to muck out the stables once you're done lazing about up here." Merlin could very clearly hear his prince giving those orders; he of course had no intention of following them, at least not anytime soon.

She dropped Merlin's eye after that, focusing instead on the blanket she was worrying with her fingers. The future queen did not seem to be willing to say much more so the warlock prompted her again, "Gwen, what's wrong?"

She dropped the blanket and looked up at him, there was fear and strength in her eyes and an intensity that told Merlin that whatever this was, it was serious.

"You can tell me Gwen, you know I'm your friend."

She regarded him a moment before continuing, "I know Merlin, I do but…I guess I'm just not sure what's bothering me…" she trailed off and Merlin was left guessing what she was trying to get at.

Then she filled in the blanks for him, "why?"

Or at least she tried.

"What?" He was far too tired to attempt to answer her enigmatic question.

"Why do you and Arthur have so many enemies? Why do so many people want to hurt you?" She asked it so simply, so gently that Merlin was not sure where this was coming from.

The warlock thought for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to answer her question, "Do you remember when I told you about our destiny?"

The woman in front of him nodded her remembrance so he continued, "Well, I think that in order for something that is foretold to be as great as something like Albion, there has to be obstacles. There has to be a reason why it will be great. And if the people who are tasked with building it never have to struggle to realize it, why would it be prophesied? What is pronounced about something that is simply given?"

She hummed quietly at that, but didn't push with any more questions.

He knew why, "That's not why you're upset though is it."

"No I don't think it is." The pregnant pause said a lot, "It's not the fighting. The both of you know what you're doing…most of the time. But Merlin, I've had to treat wounds and care for the both of you more times in the last year than I've ever thought possible. You've almost died a few times. Arthur would have died if it hadn't been for you at least twice. There can't be this prophecy without the both of you." She stopped moving for a moment, as if she had realized what the actual problem was, then she voiced it, "Why does it have to be you and Arthur? You've both fought hard enough, why can't it be someone else now?" The anger in her voice at the injustice of destiny was palpable.

But still, the warlock smiled because from her anger and worry he knew that even if everything else was turned upside down, he had friends that would never turn away. He again tried to answer her question, "I think that's just how it has to be, Gwen. We don't get a choice."

"But why not? Who is to say that destiny is allowed to rule your lives? Why do you not get a choice?"

The warlock scowled at his wounds as he pulled himself up in bed and took her hand, looking directly into her eyes, "Destiny is not always a bad thing, Arthur and I are friends because of it. You and Arthur love each other very much because of it." Merlin smiled again when her cheeks got a few shades darker, "Its our destiny to fight for Camelot, just like its yours to love Arthur and mine to have magic. The world will always throw obstacles in the way but it's the way we react to them that makes the fight worthwhile. We could give up. We could stop fighting but none of us would be who we are if we were willing to just give up." She grinned slightly at that and Merlin knew she was trying to think of Arthur giving up, gods knew he would not be here if his prince were not so stubborn. He continued, "Destiny might have things planned for us but it's who we are that makes destiny possible."

He knew Arthur would make fun of him for this how un-idiotic his explanation sounded. He could just hear the prince now, calling him a girl and wondering where he had learned all this. The warlock would of course tell him a book and then Arthur would insist that Merlin had never learned to read, only to give him a speech to finish drafting for the next day.

He was digressing; it was the potion he knew, so he dragged himself back to the conversation at hand, "What made you think about this, Gwen?"

"Arthur told me what you did. At least as much as he could remember."

The warlock didn't hear the second part though and the idea of Gwen knowing all the things he'd done made him sick, what if she looked at him differently for all the people he'd hurt? Merlin gulped at the thought of that, he didn't want anyone but Arthur to know what he had done. Guilt rose in his gut and Gwen must have seen it in his eyes because she rushed to squash it.

"No! No, not like that Merlin. Arthur told me that he couldn't tell me everything you've done while you've been in Camelot, he said that was for you to tell," the warlock relaxed at that, "but he told me what you did for him this time, in the forest, what you did to get him home. Merlin I saw the bruising, the wounds, and Arthur filled in the rest or at least what he could. I know how hard you fought to protect him, but do you?"

Merlin was taken aback by the question. He had done what needed to be done and nothing else so, no, the thought had never crossed his mind. His silence seemed to be her queue,

"You carried Arthur over ten miles while you were wounded, you tried so hard to get him home that you bruised every muscle on the side of your body. Merlin you did it in a day. That is not normal strength, that's extraordinary."

Merlin did not look for praise, to be perfectly honest, it made him uncomfortable so he sat in sheepish silence while Gwen continued giving him commendations that he did not feel he deserved. He had done what he needed to, what Arthur had done for him before.

"You used your magic to heal Arthur, from what Gaius said you pushed it away from yourself to keep him alive. Merlin you almost died for that. How can you not realize how selfless and incredible that is?"

Silence pervaded the room as Gwen waited for an answer and Merlin tried to get over his own embarrassment to provide her with one, what he came up with was clearly not satisfactory to her though because she scrunched up her nose as soon as it left his mouth, "I did it because I had to."

She looked at him in earnest, "Merlin, you didn't have to do what you did. You could've left to get help or tried to find a horse, instead you carried Arthur, armor and all, back to Camelot. You need to realize how miraculous that is."

He was getting slightly agitated at her insistence and although he felt guilty for it, he couldn't help how harsh the next question sounded, "Why, Gwen? Why is this so important to you?"

She got more adamant at his tone as she thought about the answer, "Because it proves how special you are, how connected you are with Arthur. It proves to all of us that we would not be alive without you. I think that's important for you to know, for us to know, that we would not be here if it wasn't for you." She squeezed his hand to emphasize her point, "Thank you, Merlin. I feel like no one says that enough."

If he was embarrassed before, his ears were red as ripe apples at this point, "Gwen, please stop. I don't need thanks."

She truly smiled for the first time in the entire conversation but it was a sad smile, "I know you don't, that's exactly why you deserve it."

Merlin didn't know what to say to that but then Gwen was much better at getting him to keep quiet than Arthur was.

She filled in for him, as usual. "I know you'll continue to fight and I know Arthur will too but what I'm asking is that you promise that you will continue to keep each other safe. I don't want to lose either of you. Honestly, I'm getting tired of taking care of you when you don't do it effectively. However, if there is one thing you're good at, it's making sure that Arthur makes it home safe."

For some reason that made him scoff, they really hadn't been the best at actually staying safe. They did try though.

Gwen wasn't done, "But Merlin, you can't forget that you're important to us too. Arthur would be lost if anything were to happen to you, I hope you know that. But others would be crushed as well, Ethan, Gaius, me, and everyone else you've helped. I think sometimes you get so focused on protecting Arthur that you decide you're not worth it, but you have to remember that you are. Please just know that we never do." She gave his hand another squeeze before she kissed him on the cheek.

Gone was the sniffling from when she came in the room, in place of it was a soft smile that made him feel loved and safe.

He was so focused on that, that when she changed the flow of the conversation, she caught him off guard, "Arthur wanted me to tell you that he would be up tomorrow to see you. And Gaius said that as long as you promise not to go too far, you might be able to start walking again."

They sat in companionable silence while Merlin turned over what she had said. He hadn't thought about what he had done, he had acted because his brother needed him to. He did the same thing Arthur had done for him and he would do it again if he had to. But then a warm feeling grew in his chest; it was heartening to hear how much his friends cared for him. He didn't really want the attention but it was still nice. As the comforting feeling spread, he felt himself drifting off again. Gwen must have noticed it too because she gave his hand another gentle squeeze before he heard the chair scratch against the floorboards ever so slightly as those soft shoes padded toward his door. The latch clicked gently again, heralding her exit. He fell asleep with a smile on his face. He would always do anything to protect his friends but it gave him a safe feeling to know that they would do anything to protect him too.

Thank you again to Book girl fan, who picks up on these lovely little plot points and always gives me something more to write about! I hope everyone liked it and Book girl fan, I hope it answered the question you asked in your review.

As always, stay awesome and I hope your day goes swimmingly today, wherever you are and whatever you are working on!

- Lily