Hello!

Thank fuck January is over! Honestly, it's the worst month, there's nothing to look forward to. (Sorry if your birthday is in January. Whoops!)

But here is a new chapter and (spoiler) it's angsty. Please review after you've read it, just to let me know if you like it or not because after I've finished writing it I'm considering going through all the chapters and just making the content a little better. I'd really love to see this fic in its best light and I want to know what I can do for it.

But enough of my rambles.

If January wasn't bad enough, the fact that Nico felt like death more than he did when he visited the underworld didn't do much favours. Every day, Nico felt like his mind was deteriorating, as if it was an ancient ruin crumbling into dust and although it had probably started a few days or so before January 1st, Nico felt like it had started almost as soon as Will had stopped talking.

He remembered that day so clearly. Nico had expected it to go fuzzy, like it was a dream and he would try to convince himself that it wasn't real but it remained bright and not-so-beautiful in his mind, replaying every time he closed his eyes. The way Will had promptly burst into tears after a brief silence, the way Nico held him stiffly as he tried to take everything he had been told and what was happening in at the same time, sending his mind into overdrive before it shut down. The two of them stayed in the bunker all day and all night as a blanket of sadness settled over them, leaving them solemn and silent, both acting like they were attending a funeral. The question was though, whose was it?

The next day they walked hand in hand out of the wood, back to camp. At first their presence was greeted with wolf-whistles and cheeky remarks until everyone fell silent at the sight of their tear-stained faces and their sober atmosphere. In three seconds all of Will's siblings had raced over to them, surrounding the pair and bombarding them with softly-spoken questions. Nico raised his face to stare at Will, ignoring everyone else, as the blond kept his blue eyes trained on the ground occasionally giving stiff nods when necessary. The two of them were then led to the Apollo cabin and after that Nico's memory was cut short.

In fact in the next few days, Nico noticed that a lot of his memory was missing. At first he would realise in the middle of the day he didn't know what he ate for breakfast and whether he had art or sword fighting next, even if someone had just told him. Then he started to realise that he was forgetting things like which cabin was the Apollo one despite it being bright as a sun-bed or he'd be standing in the fighting arena in his pyjamas with no clue how he got there. In a week it had got to a point where Will had someone stationed by him almost 24/7 to look after him and fill Will in on what he'd been doing. Nico wasn't keen on this idea when it presented itself in conversation but after a few days he was grateful for it, just so he knew what was happening at all times even if he didn't remember. Will also was writing a daily log of each day's activities to keep Nico rooted and alert. Nico would nod and go along with everything but inside he was really scared. It unnerved him to read Will's journals everyday and not remember half of it. He felt like a small kid again who was confused and upset while everyone sorted out his life for him and just like a little kid, all he wanted to do when he was scared was relax in the protective embrace of his mother. A tear slipped down his cheek each and every time he thought about how he would never know a mothers loving embrace. He'd never be able to just go to her when he thought life couldn't get any worse or if he had a problem. So he had to go with the next best thing.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Nico came out of the bathroom to see Will writing feverishly in his journal on his bed, once again surrounded with bandages and plasters. No one else was in the room because, really, the two of them should have been at the campfire, singing with the rest of the camp. Will looked so tense and was concentrating so hard that Nico was afraid to disturb him and almost lost his nerve to talk, already turning around to hide in the bathroom until Will finished writing. But just when Nico was about to step through the doorway, Will looked up at him and put the pen and book down to stretch his arms out to Nico in a way of asking him to approach him. Nico almost smiled in relief and he immediately power walked over to his bed so he could climb into the warmth of his boyfriend and the snugly duvet.

Will ran his hand through Nico's hair a few times before bending down to kiss him. "You don't mind if I finish my writing do you?" He whispered. Nico shook his head silently and watched as Will took up the small book again and started scribbling in it again.

After five minutes or so Nico was starting to get tired and yawned widely, alerting Will.

"Go to sleep Gorgeous..."

Nico shook his head sleepily, "I need," yawn "To talk to you."

Will set his book down and stared at Nico with concern. "Why didn't you say anything Neeks?"

"You were writing. To help me." Nico whispered, lifting his hand from under the duvet to hold Will's.

Will immediately pulled away and Nico frowned until he realised that he was just getting off the top of the duvet to get under it with Nico. "Not if you want talk to me Nico. Your needs are my top priority, just ask me anything."

Nico smiled softly at him and caressed his face with his free hand. "You care so much Tesoro," A tear he didn't know he was fighting slipped from his eye. "I love you so much."

Will wiped the tear from his cheek and Nico was overcome with so much love and affection for the blond boy in front of him he was rendered speechless for a moment. Part of him, a very small part mind you, wanted to be angry at Will. It wanted to blame him for everything that has happened and will continue happening for, perhaps, ever and that part of Nico just wanted to ditch Will and get over him. He could deal without his gorgeous face looking at him every day, right? (No, he couldn't, let's be honest.) But no matter how hard that part of Nico tried, it could never get bigger and scarier because Nico couldn't find it in himself to hate someone for something like falling in love with somebody. In fact, if Nico should be angry at anybody, it should be Josh. Or whoever changed Josh's mind and brought him over to the dark side. But most of all, Nico should have been, and was, angry at love. Bit of an oxymoron, right? To hate love? But everyone's experienced it, that dawning realisation how love plays such a big role in our lives and then it just fucks everyone over. Nico had always been annoyed by love but his hatred was strongest now, it was just unfortunate that he couldn't do anything about it. So he let himself forget about it now and concentrate on Will.

Will lightly kissed his forehead and smiled. "I love you too Gorgeous." He frowned, "Now, what did you want to tell me."

Nico frowned and opened his mouth to talk but the words didn't come. The intensity of the emotions in that moment overwhelmed him and he was rendered speechless once more. He blinked again and again until finally Will put him out of his silent misery by kissing his forehead and lifted his chin so they were eye to eye.

"How about," Will whispered, "We both say a little sentence to sum up what we're thinking. Yeah?"

Nico smiled gratefully and let out a little sigh of relief. He honestly didn't know what he did to deserve such an amazing boy that looked after him and was patient with him and just always had the answer.

"I'll go first." Nico said. He just wanted to talk now. So he buried his head in the warmth of his boyfriend's chest, smelling the anti-septic and lavender and opened his mouth to find words were found this time round.

"I'm scared Will." He whispered.

Will was quite for a while before Nico felt his arms tighten around him.

"And I am so, so sorry Nico." Will breathed quietly soon after.

A silence settled over them as they both thought about how much their lives had changed over the past few months. Only five months ago they were bickering over whether Nico was going to spend three days in the infirmary after the war with Gaia and now here they were, wondering if their lives were truly doomed as demi-gods and seriously regretting the fact that they both agreed to the hero-gig.

Nico laughed without humour. "What a pair we make hu?"

Will snorted. "Well if we live through this we'll have lots of stories for the younger generations."

Nico smiled "Yeah." He decided to ignore the 'if' in 'if we live through this' and tried to imagine a future with Will. It looked nice.

"Where would you want to live when you're older?" Will said quietly.

Nico frowned. "With you, silly."

He could almost see the frown on Will's face as he realised Nico completely avoided the real question.

"Nico you know I might-"

Nico tightened his grip on Will as if this hug would protect the two of them forever. "No Will, I don't care about the probability of... a happy future." He sighed. "I want to live with you. In New Rome preferably. Tell me about it."

Nico felt Will shift and he looked up to see Will staring at him in confusion. "What?"

Nico shuffled up so they were nose to nose, almost kissing. "Tell me about our future together and the nights we'll spend looking at the stars and the coffees we'll share outside the best shops" Nico didn't want to stop, he just wanted to make up a future for them. "and the afternoons we'll spend doing nothing and the house we'll have and the dinners we'll make for one another and all the movies we'll watch on the couch, just tell me. Please." He finished slightly out of breath. Will smiled warmly at him and Nico knew he had been won over.

Nico grinned and turned around so Will was spooning him as he got ready to listen to a fantasy world being made up before his eyes and he wanted nothing more to step in it.

"Well, we'd probably live an apartment first, because we'd need to go to uni. But it would be just the right size for us, not too big but most certainly not cramped. It would be very bright and the only dark thing there would be your wardrobe." Nico snorted and yawned, Will's soothing voice lulling him to sleep...

"And Taylor Swift would be playing all the time..." He heard Will say.

Nico closed his eyes and relaxed.

It was dark when Nico woke up. Because it was still January Nico expected this in the morning and was about to get up but the clock next to him saying 3:50 stopped him. He almost thought Will was having a nightmare again but no one was screaming, leaving Nico confused as to why he was up. An unsettled feeling washed over him but he tried to shake it off and go back to sleep. He turned over, desperately trying to push down the lump of panic that seemed to be suffocating him, unsure to why he was feeling so off, so early in the morning. As the panic peaked, Nico rolled over-

-and screamed.

He wasn't sure what over took him to react like that when he thought about it later, but at the time it was the only reaction he could think of. The hurt that hit him seemed to wind him as he heard other campers wake up at the sounds of his shouts. But he didn't care. He only cared about the fact that there was no Will sleeping next to him. Because he abandoned him. He must have, after their talk the evening before, Will must have realised how difficult it was being with him, how much misery came with Nico di Angelo and left, he must have, he must-

"NICO!" Kayla yelled, and he turned to face her, only now aware of the tears streaming down his face and the worried looks everyone was giving him. Kayla swallowed, composing herself, "Nico, what's the matter?" She asked more softly.

Nico stared at her like she was mad, did she not see that Will was gone? Did she not see the empty space next to him, did she not see the emptiness of his bed?

"Nico..." Leah whispered, prompting him to talk.

More tears welled up in Nico's eyes. Did they not care? "He's gone." He whispered.

Everyone around him shared concerned looks.

"Who's gone Nico?" Max asked.

"Will. Will's gone, don't you see it! He just..." Nico looked around him desperately, wondering if the entire world had gone mad. "Gone..." He whispered and before he realised what was going on, the emotions over took him completely and he because a sobbing mess, never being able to catch his breath and tears running and streaming down his already-stained cheeks.

Austin frowned. "But Will's right..." He trailed off as if someone had shh-d him which made Nico cry even harder. Was everyone just playing some big joke on him? Did they think it was funny?

"Nico, I think you should calm down a bit..." Leah tried.

Nico was rocking back and forth now. "I can't though, can I? Because he's abandoned me."

"Nico I'm sure Will didn't-"

"No, he did, he did and I don't know why and I'm scared because he's gone. Why did he have toleave? Why do they always leave me alone by myself, I don't want to be by myself any more, I'm sick of it!" He let out another sob. "Why does everyone I love go?" He whispered. He wrapped his arms around himself and just rocked for what seemed like hours, ignoring all the Apollo kids.

After what seemed like days, the panic stared seeping away but Nico kept crying and crying until he first heard someone strum a guitar somewhere. He stopped rocking and listened carefully, unable to place where the sound had come from. Another chord rang out and another and soon a voice joined in with the chords. It was a little shaky and sometimes out of tune but it sounded like home to Nico. So he listened.

"I met you in the dark,

You lit me up,

You made me feel as though,

I was enough."

Nico still didn't know where the voice was coming from but it sounded so much like Will that Nico just relaxed. As the song went on, nico started crying again, but this time because the song just made him miss Will so much, he felt like the song was made for the two of them.

"Then you smiled over your shoulder,

For a minute I was stone cold sober,

I pulled you closer to my chest."

Nico's mind went back to Christmas, how the two of them fell asleep on a bed in the Poseidon cabin, warm and protected in one another's embrace.

"And you asked me to stay over,

I said, I already told you,

I think that you should get some rest."

Nico's mind now went back even further to when Will had nervously asked him to sleep in the Apollo cabin with him, how flustered he had been and how adorable Nico had found it.

"I knew I loved you then

But you'd never know,

'Cause I played it cool when I was

Scared of letting go.

I know needed you,

But it never showed,

But I wanna stay with you,

Until we're grey and old.

Just say you won't let go,

Just say you won't let go."

Nico was running out of energy to cry anymore but he still laid there, listening to the sound of what was heaven to him.

"I'll wake you up with some,

Breakfast in bed,

I'll bring you coffee

With a kiss on your head.

I'll take the kids to school,

Wave them goodbye,

And I'll thank my lucky stars,

For that night."

Nico smiled sadly remembering the conversation Will and him had the night before about a future, their future, no matter how unlikely that future was. He closed his eyes, letting the lulling voice send him to sleep once more as his panic dissipated into nothingness.

"Just say you won't let go,

Just say you won't let... go."

Nico knew then that no matter what, Will would never leave him, not really.

"Nico..."

Nico groaned. He did not want to get up right now, it was far too warm and he was far too tired to be dealing with anything.

"Nicooo..." The little voice whispered.

Well the little voice will have to bugger off, won't it. Nico thought.

"Come on Nico, I know you're awake."

Oh shut up Will. Nico thought.

Wait.

WILL.

Nico's eyes shot open and he lifted his head so quickly off the pillow, it connected with something very hard and a sickening crunch was heard.

"Bloody hell Nico, no need to break my nose..." A certain blond muttered.

Nico stared at the blue eyed boy in amazement for 10 seconds before throwing his arms around him, almost causing another incident. Slowly, Will wrapped his arms round Nico's waist as Nico's brain desperately tried to understand what was happening but unfortunately failed miserably.

A minute or so went by when nothing could be heard except the small pants he was letting out because of the emotions running through him. Then he leaned back just to look at him, just to show that he was real and in Nico's arms.

"Why did you leave me?" He whispered, close to tears again as he remembered the pain from the night before. "Why would you do that?"

Will sighed. "I never left Nico... I was right there the entire time."

Nico frowned. He was pretty sure Will was not there the entire time, otherwise he wouldn't have had the slight mental breakdown.

"You... Just couldn't see me." Will whispered. "Or hear or feel me. I made that oath right? Well... when I said 'go through everything I went through', I meant everything. And Josh use to disappear for a week or two but when he left for an entire month, gods, it hurt. So bad. It felt like he'd abandoned me, because I was too much trouble and not good for him. So... I guess this is your way of experiencing my pain." Will said.

A tear slipped down Nico's cheek and Will pulled him in for another hug. "Gods I am so sorry, Nico, I'm so sorry."

"No, Will," Nico said before he could think. "I'm sorry. Last night was awful, and... You had to experience that for an entire month?" Nico whispered. He couldn't bear to think how Will coped.

Will ignored him, but Nico could appreciate that. Some memories just weren't supposed to be relived. So Will started speaking again. "But then I sang and you heard it and I was so happy. So I just kept going." He sighed and then tried for a smile. "You know I'd never leave you, don't you Nico? Not really."

Nico kissed him softly. "I know. I realised that when you sang to me."

Will winced. "Sorry if it wasn't the best, singing was never my strong point." He snorted half-heartedly, "Sometimes I'd sing in the shower and Kayla said she thought I was screaming for help. So... Sorry."

Nico laughed. This boy's world seemed to be collapsing before his eyes and he found the time to worry about how good his singing was? Nico sighed, a smile gracing his lips.

"I, for one, thought it was beautiful."

Song: Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur.

Guys, I think the next chapter will be the last and I'm hoping it's going to be good. Fingers crossed! In the mean time, you can spend the next week reviewing or sending me PM's on improving my writing for how I'm going to improve the fic once it's done! Sorry if wasn't the best chapter... I try.

Hope you're having a lovely February

PalletshippingSolangeloLove

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