A/N: HOLY S**T! It has literally been forever since I posted! Well, hello world. I'm not dead, I'm just a lazy ass who needs to get off her sorry butt. SO here is the second part (long overdue I know) to 'Overwhelmed, Afraid and Grieving'. One more part left. So enjoy!
I couldn't believe what had happened in 3 months.
Pregnant, married, and now co-existing with the chief's son. Everything had happened so fast.
I stood waiting for Hiccup outside the well, patiently waiting for him to finish his business at the forge. He said it wouldn't take long. It probably won't. But to my pregnant brain it was taking an eternity. And I was growing more impatient as the seconds passed.
I looked into the well, watching the water ripple back and forth against itself. It was quite relaxing, I felt calm whenever I watched on. I guess I enjoyed watching something that was predictable. The water would bounce back and forth against the walls, and eventually fizzle out, until another breeze pushed it back against the well. I sighed; so different to my life now.
Suddenly I heard a shout. Turning around, I saw Snotlout and his gang strutting towards me. Their faces were smug, and their smug look seemed to be directed to me. Instinctively, I placed my hand over my protruding belly, never removing my eyes from the sight of my husband's worst enemy.
Ever since Hiccup and I married, Snotlout had become relentless. He found new and different ways to get under Hiccup's skin, and more subtle ways, since Stoick was more protective of Hiccup now more than ever. When we announce our pregnancy two weeks later, he just got worse and worse. He learnt that words got to Hiccup more than physical violence, or mental torment. So he found Hiccup's weaknesses and attacked. Now he was coming for me.
I looked towards the forge for just a moment.
"Please hurry Hiccup." I whispered.
I looked back up to Snotlout. Who was now right in front of me.
"What's wrong Astrid? Has Hiccup deserted you? Don't worry, Snotlout is here to pick up the pieces."
I glared at him, "He's just doing something in the forge. And I would never go to you for comfort."
His eyes turned cold. I backed up to the well.
"I'm sorry you feel that way. Say, you don't happen to know your due date? Do you? Cause I had a thought—just the other day—that you look way too pregnant for only 2 months. Don't you think boys?"
His friends all nodded, their eyes looking like a hungry dragon at the climax of the hunt.
My other hand joined in protecting my unborn child, "What are you implying Snotlout?"
He chuckled, "I'm not implying anything. I'm saying outright that I think you and Hiccup did not wait until marriage to—how do I put this? Consummate the relationship."
My blood began to boil. "Don't you dare accuse Hiccup and I of an illegitimate child. You have no right—"
"Oh I think I have every right." Snotlout growled, "I think, as a citizen of Berk, I deserve to know the origin story of the future chief of Berk"
"We may have a girl. Then they won't be chief."
I thought I had him. I was wrong.
"Yeah, in the laws of today. You don't think that when Hiccup is chief he won't change the laws to allow women to become chief? You clearly don't know your husband very well."
Snotlout motioned to his gang. They began to move towards me, their eyes flaring. They grabbed my arms, pinning them against the well. I struggled, but their grip was way too strong. And I couldn't fight them; it would hurt the child. I glared at Snotlout, my heart pounding in fear of the safety of the baby inside of me.
"We are going to take you somewhere quiet." He moved closer to me, "And you are going to tell us all about your mystery pregnancy." His hand reached out, touching my belly. I squirmed at the feeling, "And if you don't I am going to—"
"GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY WIFE!"
I turned to the forge, breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of Hiccup. I felt the grip on my arms release, and I ran to my husbands side. He reached towards me, and looked into my eyes.
"You okay?" He whispered.
I nodded, "Just glad you're here."
He smiled to me, kissing my forehead, before turning to Snotlout. His eyes became red, blazing with rage.
"Why, in the name of Thor, did you think it was a good idea to corner my wife like that?"
Snotlout smirked. Hiccup glared. Snotlout smirked further, although I thought I saw a glimpse of fear pass across his eyes.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Hiccup marched towards them "What did you want, Snotlout? What was so important that you had to attack Astrid?"
I gently placed a hand on Hiccup's shoulder, "Hiccup, no."
"Listen to your wife, Hiccup." Snotlout laughed
"No, I want to know why my wife was in danger."
"Well then, I'll tell you." Snotlout smirked.
"Hiccup," I warned
Hiccup looked at me, "Astrid please, let me handle this." I felt his hand slip into mine, and he smiled at me, before turning his attention back to his crazy cousin.
"I wanted to know how legitimate your unborn child is."
Hiccup's face whitened, "What?"
"You heard me."
I gave Hiccup's hand a squeeze.
"I wanted to know all about my future chief. About who I'm going to have to follow."
"The child won't be chief for a long time."
"I wasn't talking about your slut kid."
I could see the fire raging in Hiccup's eyes. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and for a moment the fire changed to fear, before disappearing under the anger burning.
"I was talking about you. And how you married a—"
"Don't finish that sentence Snotlout."
Snotlout raised his hands in surrender, "Okay, fine. I won't finish that sentence. But I will say this: You are a disgrace. You are weak, you have no leadership experience. And don't bring up that dragon's club we had when we were younger. That was child's play. You are incapable of leading these people, you are incapable of leading your family, and you are absolutely incapable of raising this child."
Hiccup's hand dropped out of mine.
"What?"
Snotlout smirked; he knew he had struck a nerve. "You heard me. You can't be a father. You can't provide for your family. The only reason you're able to keep you and your scamp of a wife alive is because you were born into the right clan. If you had to work hard to get anywhere in life, you would be living in a hole in the ground. You have no talents, no useful skills which can provide benefit to anyone but yourself. You are a disgrace Hiccup."
Hiccup's whole body was shaking now. I could see the anger race through him like wildfire. I went to hold his hand, to bring him back down to earth, but he turned to me communicating everything he needed to say through his gaze. It softened when he saw me, but the fire was still there and I understood he needed this. I smiled and backed off.
Hiccup turned back to Snotlout.
"Snotlout, you are never again permitted to ever speak to myself, or anyone I consider a part of my family, ever again. You are to leave Berk. Take your friends, and leave. I do not want to ever see your filthy face ever again. You have disrespected myself, you have disrespected my wife, and you have disrespected my unborn child. You have no right to ever step foot on this island again. You have no right to speak, you have no right to defend yourself. You lost those rights when you insulted those under my protection, and my fathers protection. Don't ever return. You are herby banished from this island. If you wish to take this up with my father, you may do that. However you can be assured that he will most definantally side with me. Do you understand me?"
Hiccup stood there, breathing heavily. I watched on, shocked at the reaction Snotlout had caused. Normally, Hiccup would give a list of reasons to counter Snotlout's accusations, but apparently he had just pushed too far. Snotlout's mouth hung open; clearly he didn't expect that kind of reaction. Staring Snotlout down, Hiccup motioned for him to leave. Nobody moved. Slowly, his friends began to walk off, their heads bowed in shame. I looked back at Hiccup, but I saw no sympathy in his eyes. I couldn't believe it. That was one of the things I admired about Hiccup: his ability to sympathise with those who persecute him, and to have mercy on them. Today I couldn't see any of that.
Hiccup stood strong, never wavering in his decision. Snotlout tried to fight him. crossing his arms and planting his feet strongly on the ground. But Hiccup stood firm. Finally, Snotlout realised that he was fighting a losing battle, and begrudgingly stormed off. I looked at Hiccup, just in time to see his walls break down and his true emotions flood out. I grabbed his arm as he collapsed to the ground, tears streaming down his face.
"Hiccup, let's go home." I whispered.
He nodded, and I helped him up to his feet. The walk home was a long one, the reality of what had just happened sinking in with every step. Snotlout was banished. It was bitter-sweet for us. Hiccup had lost a family member— although thinking about it now he was in a sense my family as well. But nevertheless gone was the one person in our life that was holding us back, who was stopping us from focusing on anything good because he was always right there trying to crush Hiccup.
Once we were inside the safety of our own home, Hiccup collapsed to the ground again, his silent tears echoing around the empty room. I crouched down, embracing him in my arms. The sun was setting before we got up again. I felt Hiccup move, and I looked to see him standing and walking over to the kitchen, wiping his eyes as he went. I watched as he slammed things onto the table, his face hard and cold, his eyes full of pain. After several futile attempts at cutting a piece of fish, he slammed his head on the table, giving an exasperated sigh.
"Hiccup, what's wrong?"
Lifting his head, he sighs again and mumbles a response.
I move towards him, "Hiccup, what's going on with you?"
He looks up. The fear in his eyes terrified me, until his shields come back up and he bows his head.
"Nothing. I'm fine. I'm capable of taking care of myself. I can at least do that."
I grabbed his chin, turning his face towards me.
"Hiccup, what are you so afraid of?"
His eyes drop.
"Failing."
Confused, I respond, "What do you mean?"
He stand up, all of his masks falling one by one.
"Failing you. Failing our child. Failing the village. That I'm not good enough. That I'll never be good enough. What Snotlout said…he described my worst fears. No, he did worse than that; he confronted them, confirmed them. Every fear that I've had since I was 11 confirmed by my worst enemy. Hiccup the Useless. You don't think I hear the rumours that go around? The judgement on me? Every living soul is sitting on the edge of their seat, just waiting for me to screw up."
"Hiccup, you know that's not—"
"I'm not done."
I watched as he paced back and forth, his face twisting in anger and frustration.
"You know what my dad said to me when we first discussed the pregnancy? That I have to look out for you, to be the strong one. To be a rock in the midst of your storm. And I get that. You're going through way more than I am."
He stopped and looked at me, his eyes breaking my heart.
"I can't do it anymore Astrid. I'm sorry. I've tried being strong, every minute. But I can't do it. And now I feel like a total idiot. A total failure. That I've let you down. Cause I can't be that support you need. Because you were always my support. My anchor. You kept me tied at Berk. You were the reason I stayed calm. You were why I chased after Toothless. You were the reason why I did everything I've ever done. I need you. But I can't have you. Because you're the one who needs support, who needs grounding. You're the one who needs to stay calm, and I can't do that for you. I can't do it…"
I ran over to him, embracing him in my arms as he sobbed into my shoulder. His body shook, and for a moment it became Astrid and Hiccup; the comforter and the comforted. We were who we were before. And then he pulled away. And we were back to what we are now. Hiccup and Astrid; the comforter and the comforted. He turned away, before struggling against my hand holding him near.
"Hiccup,"
His eyes met mine.
"It's okay."
He shook his head, "It's not."
I lifted his chin, "Hiccup, it's okay."
The look in his eyes told me that that was all I needed to say. We embraced for a moment, before Hiccup went back to preparing our meal with a lot more success than before. I smiled to myself. 6 more months to go.