Sebastian: Previously, on Black Sailor...
Serena: Huh?! Wha...? Why do you get to open the story!? I wanna do it!
Sebastian: (Sigh) Serena, could you really do anything right? I mean, I'm the one with the suave voice and the excellent suit, and really you're just the little girl who goes round fighting evil by moonlight and winning love by daylight.
Serena:... All right, no need to get all defensive you fancy man! It's just an opening...
Sebastian: Exactly! Now, if you'll allow me to continue...
Serena: But wai...
Sebastian: Black Sailor, a story of when the Sailor Scouts fell through a time hole and landed in Victorian England, in hope of finding my young master's "Hope Diamond". Indeed, much hilarity happened! Raye and Grell swapping outfits, young Lita getting locked in a coffin, and of course Mina being nearly killed by an Angel, now...
Serena: Wait, you're just gonna brush over that?!
Sebastian: Certainly! People die nearly every episode in Black Butler, now...
Serena: Not the main characters!
Sebastian: Serena, shush. Now then, if you are prepared to continue, you should know that all the Scouts got home safely, and when Lita got home, she found our friend The Undertaker in her front room? Any questions?
Serena: Yeah! I've got one, why is it that Lita go...
Sebastian: If you are confused Miss Moon, go and read the other story, it is Black Sailor, by ranulfflambard4.
Serena: You keep cutting me off...
Sebastian: Indeed I do, so without further ado, please enjoy this new tale.
Serena: Also a special shout out to Strawberrymoon, to whom this story is dedicated! You're awesome and don't forget it! Sailor Moon says!
xxx
"Ok," Lita began, "You've been living here for, what? A month now? And, let's be frank, my house is a tip."
The Undertaker just grinned.
"So we are going to go through some house rules, Dad."
The Undertaker sniggered, "I do like being called Dad. Makes a change from 'Hey, you!' or, 'Undertaker face!'" He giggled, "Amuses me."
Lita sighed, "Ok. First of all, the plants."
"OOH! The lovely plants! I do like the plants."
"Yeah, well, I'm glad you like them, but could you just take a look around my flat and tell me what you've noticed about the plants."
The Undertaker scanned the room with his eyes, evidently thinking hard, "Most of them are green."
"Well, yeah, they used to be!" Lita put her hands on her hips, "Until someone over watered them!"
"Over watered them!?"
"YES! THEY-DO-NOT-NEED-WATERING-EVERY-FEW-HOURS!"
The Undertaker frowned, "Oh."
Lita stood over him angrily, "Now, they're not green, they're brown. Ok. Rule two, coffins don't go in the living room."
"Why not?"
Lita glowered, it was like she was the parent, not him, "Well, because... it's just not a thing! If people come in and see a coffin on the floor they're gonna think I'm a vampire or something!"
"Like Edward Cullen!" The Undertaker beamed.
"Yes, like Edwa... Wait?! You like Twilight!?"
"First thing I read coming to this modern era."
"Ah, bad luck." Lita folded her arms, "Ok, the bathroom."
"The bathroom?"
"Yes, there is a lock on the bathroom door, I do not expect this lock to be broken when you need to come in. I also expect you to use said lock when you're in there. And put the loo lid down."
The Undertaker nodded, "Will always used to have a thing about that..."
"Ok... I think that's it... but if there's anything else you will be informed."
"Yes, yes." He stood up, "Now what are you going to do about the door bell?"
"What door bell?"
"The one that's been ringing for the last minute."
Lita had been so caught up in her rules and ranting she had completely forgotten that Raye was meant to be coming round to study biology with her. Lita had told her, studying the human anatomy near the Undertaker was probably not the best idea anyone had had, and they would probably end up knowing more than any normal human would wish to know, but Raye had seemed determined...
"Right, I will be right back. You stay here, no... actually move the coffin somewhere more discreet... like, your room?" Lita marched off to answer the door.
"Gosh..." The Undertaker tutted, "Tetchy."
Lita opened the door.
"LITA!"
"...Raye?"
Raye stood there, eyes wide and breathing heavily, like she'd either been running very fast or was incredibly angry... "How long has your Dad been living with you?!"
"About a month... He's signed the adoption papers now so there's no getting rid of him..."
"Yeah whatever," Raye brushed the comment aside, "A month since we got back from Victorian Britain in the hella awesome dresses?"
Lita narrowed her eyes, "Erm... yes... I got back to my flat and he was just there!"
"THEN WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME NOW?!"
"Woah, calm down!" Lita caught Raye's arms, "What's happening?"
"I have literally no idea what's going on," Raye stuck her bottom lip out, "But... he's here."
"Who?"
"Grell..."
xxx
Lita had made Raye a cup of tea and sat her down before calling her father back. There was a sort of galloping sound down the hall before The Undertaker burst is.
"Ok Dad, why is Grell here?" Lita said, not turning round to look at him.
"Grell?"
"Yes, Dad, Grell. You didn't come here because you wanted to did you? This is all a set up. Why are you both here?"
"If you're not going to turn round and look then I shan't tell you."
The two girls twisted round on the sofa to see The Undertaker stood there, in one of Lita's beautiful Lolita dresses, wearing a smile and a huge floppy pink ribbon over his head.
"What do you think?" He winked, or at least, they would have seen him wink if it weren't for his masses of grey hair in front of his eyes...
"Wh... what are you doing...?" Raye whispered, disbelieving.
"I think you'll find, I'm a Lolita!"
Raye turned and looked at Lita, who had now sat back and was texting someone, "Why is your Dad in your dress?"
"He probably got bored, sit down Dad, it's not clever and it's not funny."
The Undertaker shrugged and flung himself down inelegantly on to (now his) armchair. "Alright, Sally."
"Lita. Why is Grell here?"
The Undertaker sighed, "Do you really want to know?"
"Yes!" Raye practically screamed, "I've been seeing him about all day and I thought I was drunk or having a breakdown! I got up this morning and I saw a flash of red outside my bedroom window! Then later on, I saw someone in a bright red coat with long red hair in the street. I mean, come on, it's got to be him!"
The Undertaker sighed, making a wisp of his hair fly out in front of him, "Girlies, I shall tell you a secret."
Lita frowned, "What?"
"It is the utmost importance that no one finds out," He sighed, making the girls lean closer, "I have literally no idea why."
"WHAT?!" Raye flared up, "YOU..."
"He did that with dinner once." Lita sat back, her arms folded, "Spent an hour 'preparing dinner' and served me an empty plate. Literally nothing would surprise me now."
Raye sat back down in a temper, "For goodness sake, why is he here?!"
"Well, I would suggest going to look for him!" The Undertaker stood up.
"Er, not dressed like that you're not! And really..." Lita put her hands on her hips, "I don't want people to know about you... That's why I've been keeping you indoors, and especially me being seen with you, people are gonna ask questions."
The Undertaker shrugged but Raye turned, grabbing her friend by the shoulders, "Lita please! I am literally begging you! Let him come out and find him with us!"
"What?! No way!"
"YES!" Raye got ever closer, "Please! Your Dad has like, the sharpest eyes ever! And who knows Grell better than all of us...?"
"You apparently!" Lita retorted, "You're the ones who shared a bed!"
"Shut up, it's him!" Raye shot a finger at The Undertaker, "Please Lita, I'll love you forever!"
Lita raised her eyebrows scornfully, "He'll have to get changed first."
"YES!" Raye practically leapt on her, "THANK YOU!"
xxx
Lita kept looking from The Undertaker to the front, to The Undertaker, to the front, and genuinely wondered whether they had actually gone past Grell twenty-seven times so far and just not noticed him.
"Dad. Sit down." Lita whacked him.
"I want a better view!"
"We are on the top of an open top double-decker bus and you want a better view?!" Lita hissed pushing him back down, "I swear this is not helping us find Grell..."
"No, but it's fun! As soon as I saw this modern era, I thought, 'Oooh I love those buses!' And now, I'm on one!" He giggled to himself.
Lita just sat there fuming. He had made her waste 200 yen of her own money on this, and she was not happy. He was meant to be her father, which meant he should pay for trips out didn't it?! She shook her head angrily, "This was a waste of time, we'll never find Grell like this."
The Undertaker chuckled, "Liar, liar, pants on fire!"
"WHAT?!" Lita turned round, glaring at him.
"Don't get your knickers in a twist!" The Undertaker raised his hands, still grinning.
"Enough about my underwear! What do you mean?!" She realised a lot of people had begun staring at them.
"That I just saw the Reaper him... or herself standing outside a big clothes and make-up shop!"
"What?! No way! What did the shop look like?"
The Undertaker's grin broadened, "I have no idea, other than the fact it had dresses in."
Lita whipped her phone out and rang Raye, "Grell spotted on High Street! By a shop with clothes and make-up in!"
"Am I surprised...?" Raye muttered, "Thanks, I can get there in about 5 minutes, keep an eye on him yeah?"
There was a short pause, "Er..."
"What?"
"We're kinda... on a bus... so we passed him..." Lita bit her lip and nervously glanced at the phone.
The silence was returned. "Great. Perfect. It's not like he carries, oh I don't know, A CHAINSAW EVERYWHERE?! He could get arrested!"
"Well we'll get off the bus at the next stop! You get there ASAP!" Lita hung up, peeved at just about everyone now...
"Sally..."
"Lita." Lita looked at the Undertaker.
"We paid more money just to get off at the next stop..."
"OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE!"
xxx
Raye ran down the high street at top speed, shoving past people, shouting 'EXCUSE ME' more as a warning than a polite question. She ducked and dived, looking in every shop window when across the road was a huge flash of red.
Raye stopped dead, staring.
"It's Grell! He's there! In..." Raye's face fell, "In... Katzy... and her sister's... shop..."