Title: Sacrifice

Relationship: Clarke and Lexa (Clexa)

Author: ArshuK

Beta: Lowiiie

"Lexa, I deserved the truth. You should've told me." Clarke says softly.

"I couldn't, not after everything you had to suffer because of me." Lexa argues.

"I didn't know you were suffering too. I wasn't aware that you lost a close friend. I wasn't aware that you had to end her life." Clarke whispers, her eyes trained on her hand. Guilt was slowly making its way into the Hedatu's heart. She hadn't been there when Lexa needed her the most. She was so lost in herself that she didn't bother knowing what Lexa had been going through.

"I am used to this, Clarke. I have learned how to cope with guilt, regret, pain. Everything." Lexa tells her gently. She knows Clarke. She knows where Clarke's line of thought must be going towards.

"When?"

"Pardon?"

"When did you learn all of that Lexa?"

"Probably when I was 10 winters old. I had lost my best friend to the Mountain, and also had to take several lives that year. Some for reasons I wasn't even told by my mentor. I couldn't sleep in the beginning but it got better then...not the nightmares, but I learnt to differentiate between them and the reality. I learnt to not pay heed to them."

Clarke's heart breaks for Lexa as she hears that. She does not approve of the image of a little Lexa learning all these hard lessons, lessons Clarke was just starting to learn. During all her musings, she covers the both of them in the blanket of silence.

"What happens now?" Lexa finally asks, exhaling a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"Honestly? I don't know." Clarke automatically answers.

"Well, what do you want?" Lexa asks, the hope and fear visible at the same time in her eyes.

"What I want is to erase the past few months." Clarke does not only want to erase what happened at the Mountain, she wants to erase her mistakes too...especially one particular mistake. She cannot even look at Lexa as she thinks about it. There's an old saying that goes 'better ask for forgiveness than permission' but whoever told it wasn't faced with the weight Clarke was carrying, the shame of her guilt, because to ask for forgiveness one must forgive themselves first. And Clarke isn't sure if she ever could.

"We can do that, if you want that." Lexa replies, a smile forming on her face.

Clarke just shakes her head sadly and truthfully replies,

"I wish we could. But I can't even look at my own people now. I can't look at my friends, my family without feeling the guilt tearing me apart, I can't look at you without thinking of what I did or of the deal you made, choosing your people-"

"I did it for you." Lexa says without realizing that she did and her eyes look away, guilty now.

"What?"

Lexa sighs. She cannot keep it to herself anymore; her real reason for taking the deal. Clarke had given her quite some time (more than 3 months) to deduce what exactly made her take the deal.

"I obviously was aware that if I took the deal, a lot of lives would be saved by sacrificing a few but I also knew that if I took the deal, I would be sacrificing you literally and I couldn't do that. So I altered the deal a little and made the Mountain Men promise your safety by choosing your life over my friend's. I didn't really think they would agree but once they did, my decision wasn't that hard to make. You were protected as part the deal and that was among my top priorities. Maybe my sole priority." She utters the last part closing her eyes. Absorbing the truth herself.

"Lexa...if we want to go back to where we were then I need you to be completely honest with me. Stop lying or hiding things from me to protect me. Even now that you were supposed to give me the whole truth, you left out this part. You told me about the explosive planted in Costia's head but not this." Clarke accuses and then adds,

"I can easily guess your reason; you didn't want to make me feel guilty."

"And you don't have to. I made the decision, I took the deal." Lexa firmly states.

Clarke just shakes her head,

"You and I know that's not how guilt works for either of us. I am the reason Costia never got to live the remaining months of her life. I am the reason taking the deal became so easy for you but at the same time it was you who decided to alter the deal proposed by those monsters, it was you who decided her life was worth less than me. We need to start sharing our burdens with one another, Lexa." Clarke utters, her voice thick with emotions.

"It was all my fault Clarke, not yours."

"Stop doing that!" Clarke snaps, her voice rising in frustration. She throws up her hands in the air and angrily marches away from Lexa, making her way to the edge of Lexa's bed.

Lexa simply turns around to look at her wife, her back facing the window now.

"But-"

Clarke raises her hand to stop her and Lexa can't help but raise an eyebrow at her in disbelief. Clarke clearly is the only individual who would dare stop the Commander of the Coalition with the raise of her hand and not get to face any consequences for it.

"I don't need you to sugarcoat things for me. This is what brought us here in the first place! You make me take the light decisions, make me do the easy things to keep me from harm but guess what Lexa, you cannot change what life is going to bring me! Take a look at our past experiences; this habit of yours has only aggravated the situation. How did, you not telling me about your relationship about Costia turn out? How did, you not telling me about Mount Weather haunting our people turn out? How did, you making a life changing decision alone turn out? I am tired of being left alone, Lexa."

"I never wanted you to be alone, Clarke. I want to be with you, share your burdens, help you." Lexa declares, clearly ignoring the first part of Clarke's rant. She slowly starts moving towards her bed, Clarke's presence pulling her in like a magnet.

"I know Lexa. But I can't do that without you reciprocating the gesture. You need to promise your honesty if you want to go down that road again."

"Clarke, you deserve all the happiness I can give you, not the pain." Lexa protests weakly, as she gracefully sits on her knees in front of Clarke. Her emerald eyes forming an angle of elevation when they connect with the sapphire ones.

Clarke extends her arms, until her hand comes in contact with Lexa's. Tangling her fingers with the brunette's, she brings their joined hands up to her mouth, kissing each of her knuckles with the slightest brush of lips. She feels Lexa's soft hands slightly shake as her lips touch them. She smiles a sad smile.

"Why? Why do you get to face it all then? Do you think I am not strong enough to handle it Lexa? I destroyed your mentor's army in order to safeguard my people. I killed 300 people and managed to bring all my people back from the Mountain. I destroyed the Mountain, Lexa. Isn't that enough proof? You say I need to come to terms with what I did, guess what? I have but, have you? When will you finally treat me like your partner Lexa?" She murmurs heatedly her arguments.

Lexa gulps as she allows her hands to slowly move towards Clarke's face. This intimacy...oh, how she has missed it. She knows they both have a lot more to talk about, to work on, before they reach the stage they were once at but now that she has felt the blonde's skin against hers, her lips on her skin, even in the most innocent gestures, she cannot help but enjoy the moment. She lightly traces her thumb over Clarke's face, caressing it lovingly before answering her in the tender care only reserved for the Hedatu,

"I do know you are my equal Clarke, in every way. You are the most incredible woman I could have ever had the fortune to have in my life. I do trust you and your abilities, I have never for a second doubted you but..." She trails off, her hands falling back into her lap and her eyes no longer maintaining eye contact with the blonde's.

"But?" Clarke asks her encouragingly. She lets her hand bring Lexa's face up so she can look at the green abyss again. It seems like once they have started touching each other, they cannot stop. The small contacts of intimacy bring them closer, make their souls come closer. Clarke's eyes plead Lexa for honesty. She wants this to work. She wants them to work.

Clarke is shocked when Lexa abruptly gets up and takes a few steps away from her. Clarke doesn't like the physical distance this has created between them. She lets herself silently admit how much she has missed the closeness with her wife as she pulls her legs up and tugs them under her. She watches Lexa pace from the window back to the bed twice but doesn't dare say anything. Finally, Lexa takes a seat on the soft bed, right next to Clarke and, keeping her eyes on her hands, which she had placed on her lap, starts saying,

"You need to understand that since I was a child I have been trained to be the Commander. I was told to protect people around me. It's engrained in my system."

She then turns her head to the left, facing Clarke. Her hands shyly seek Clarke's as she continues.

"And you...I love you more than I have ever loved anyone and I cannot just allow myself to let you even close to harm's way. It's just who I am, Clarke." Lexa's green eyes are glazing over now, begging her wife to try and understand her. There's so much love and devotion in those eyes that Clarke feels like she can drown in them, like she can drown all her sorrows and all her pains. But that's not all those bottle green eyes seem to be promising Clarke. There's safety, love, warmth, passion and loyalty.

"When my dad was alive on the Ark, I had a perfect family. My parents were in love, and cared for me greatly. My dad was very protective of me. He literally treated me like a princess; always valuing my comfort above anyone else's, never letting me face any problem on my own, always being there to help me. And that was who I had become; someone who was dependent on her elders for everything. I was kept in a protective shell for 17 years, Lexa. But once I landed on Earth, the shell cracked and I had to face the real world; the world even our adults could never have prepared us for. What I am saying is that I changed according to circumstances. I am sure you can too. I am not asking you for a lot, just small steps."

"You are flexible, resilient, adaptable to changes Clarke. I...it's hard for me to do the same but for our sake, I promise I will try. "

"Thank you Lexa."

Silence envelops them and both sit side by side, not quite sure what their course of action should be from here on out. Lexa looks out her window at the sunlight and mentally calculates the time...there are still a few hours till the second mealtime. Lexa had never missed her morning training session in the past but she was willing to do so to spend some time with her partner and so, biting her lower lip nervously, she asks,

"Would you like to accompany me to the gardens, Clarke? The Boat Clan and the Stone Clan have both brought new flowers. I heard that you haven't been there for quite some time and the flowers are really pretty and you might like to see them or so I think but if -"

"Lead the way, Lexa." Clarke says with a small smile on her face. She can sense how nervous her wife is, and this is very uncharacteristic for Lexa. Clarke won't use any word other than adorable to describe it.

...

Once they enter the gardens, Lexa relaxes. In the past few months, Lexa had found herself in the gardens more often than not. She was lonely, guilty and sad. This was a safe sanctuary for her. It brought her good memories; memories she had not only made with Clarke but also memories she had made as a kid. She has always loved flowers and Anya knew that. Once a month, Anya would bring her here and she, along with the other children, would play among the rows of colors and scents. She is lost in her sweet memories when she feels Clarke's hand brush hers. A small smile finds its way to Lexa's face as her eyes look at her wife in her periphery; a small blush resides on her cheeks.

Lexa spends the entire afternoon with Clarke in the gardens. She has their afternoon meal brought to them. They talk about light and easy topics such as the books Clarke's read from Lexa's library and Lexa's ability to forge her own sword. They even talk about their respective childhoods and gather the differences between the two.

Grapes are served for the Heda and Hedatu and they eat in silence until Clarke says, her eyes shining mischievously,

"No strawberries available Heda?"

Lexa chokes on the fruit in her mouth and Clarke can't help but chuckle at the bright red colour that takes over Lexa's cheeks.

"Umm...no. I have to wait a few more months for it." She mumbles as her eyes involuntarily fall on Clarke's lips. Strawberries will forever remind her of Clarke's taste, she was sure.

Clarke has mercy on Lexa and stops teasing her. They are slowly trying to rebuild their relationship and neither wants to rush it. They had skipped certain steps last time and the end result wasn't very ideal. Besides, Clarke knows that Lexa and her need to talk about her affair with Niylah despite her wife telling it is okay. Clarke believes she knows her wife better than that.

They leave the gardens together with shy smiles, light blushes adorning their faces. During the public session, soft smiles and tender looks are passed between the Heda and Hedatu. The lightness in the atmosphere is palpable during the entire session. Later, Clarke joins Lexa at the grounds where she is training the young warriors. After giving some final instructions to the children, Lexa makes her way to her wife. She is surprised to find her sitting there with a sketchbook on her lap. She had come to know that her wife had certain art supplies delivered to her chambers but had not made use of them yet. She hesitates approaching her blonde love. She clears her throat, walking slowly with heavy footsteps to give her wife a chance to hide away the book if she wants to but she does no such thing. Lexa cautiously takes a seat next to her, on the wooden bench that is situated under the shade of a large tree. Her eyes fall on the paper and widen in surprise. It is not one but myriads of lively sketches covering the whole page. Sketches capturing moments she just spent with her novitiates. What surprised her is the likeness of the traits, how truly remarkable Clarke is to grasp one's nature. She sees the little boys and girls in various defensive and attack stance. She sees detailed hands holding wooden swords, concentrated faces and stolen smiles. But most of all, she sees herself through her wife's eyes. She's often wished to know how she was through others' eyes but never had she imagined someone at odds with herself would draw her looking magnificent, powerful, oozing some celestial aura yet so alive to be where she was supposed to be. She sees her eyes sparkling with pride. She sees the upturn of her lips as she glances at Clarke. She sees the care as she tends to a little warrior who took a bad hit, kneeling and giving strength to her. She sees Clarke looking over them all longingly, admiringly. It brings tears to Lexa's eyes to see so much care in the details, so much attention to the little things, so much hope from the mere flicks of charcoal upon paper. Lexa would never have guessed her wife hosted so much talent within her. She knew not to underestimate the things Clarke was capable of and she is so proud that she can create so beautifully. Lexa roams the charred paper once more, reigning in her tears of awe. She doesn't need to vocally express all that she feels for she turns around to smile at Clarke, she finds a wife who's been shamelessly drinking in her features as she looked upon the paper. Clarke shyly looks down at the intensity of Lexa's stare before looking back up and returning the smile. They bask in that easy silence of just being with one another, without betrayals, without heartbreaks, without catastrophic consequences of heavy decision-making. For a moment, they are just Clarke and Lexa, two women trying to find their way back to each other. The spell breaks as the little warriors call for their Heda. Lexa obliges and leaves Clarke to her own devices, squeezing her thigh before they part, content with their little moment.

...

After the Heda and Hedatu have dinner together with Norma and other warriors, they say their goodbyes and leave the hall. Clarke walks Lexa to her room, using the fact that it was a floor below hers as an excuse. When they reach the door, Clarke starts fidgeting with her shirt. Lexa grabs her door handle and pulling it down, opens her door. She waits a few seconds to hear the retreat of Clarke's footsteps but the sound never comes.

"Can I come inside, Commander?" She hears the very nervous voice of her wife tentatively croak.

She is surprised at the request. They did have a wonderful afternoon together but, Lexa isn't sure what Clarke wants from her now. Nevertheless she allows her wife to do as she desires with a little nod of her head.

Once the door is closed, Lexa turns around to face her wife. She looks at her expectantly and Clarke does not disappoint.

"I had a good day today, Commander." Clarke shyly expresses, gaze not meeting Lexa's.

"Me too."

Silence greets them after that. Lexa is not sure what changed them when they crossed the threshold of her room but, unlike how the atmosphere between the spouses had been during the day - easy, comfortable and relaxed - there is nothing but tension between them right now. A tension that hesitancy, timidity, and uncertainty Clarke's eyes and demeanor brought. But Lexa only understands the matter when she hears the quiver in Hedatu's voice when she opens her mouth,

"Lexa, I need to talk to you about something."

"I told you, I don't want to. I informed you I was fine with it, we had made an agreement prior to the act. What's done is done." Lexa says angrily, her tone even taking her by surprise. She roughly takes off her gloves and throws them on her bed.

Clarke flinches at the harsh tone but subsequently moves towards Lexa until she is close enough to lift her face with her hands.

"Then why can't you look me in the eye and tell me that?"

Lexa's green eyes meet Clarke's blues and she feels a sudden surge of emotions. She doesn't want to acknowledge those emotions so she grits her teeth and spits,

"Because I want us to move forward. I don't want to recall that someone else touched you while I was there."

"We can only move past it if we both talk about this, Lexa. I need your honesty."

And the word 'honesty' breaks something in Lexa and rage, hurt, anger come boiling down in her speech.

"What do you want me to tell you Clarke? How I felt while hearing you scream someone else's name? You want to hear that? As you wish, Hedatu. I felt like dying. I felt like I was walking on white hot embers, I felt like my heart was being ripped into pieces. I felt...I felt humiliated, insufficient, indignant, resentful of my own self, but most of all I felt...broken. You own a part of me, I gave you my heart and that night you hammered that into tiny little pieces."

Tears are streaming down both the Heda and Hedatu's faces at such long awaited outburst but neither makes a move to wipe or conceal them. Clarke wants to curse her timing for visiting the wretched place. Her little escapade with Niylah was well into the night, when the tavern was nearly empty and she knew how vocal she was in bed. She feels another wave of guilt as she thinks of Lexa being able to hear her. But most of all, she is angry at herself for falling so low, for thinking that sleeping with someone else would be the miracle cure to all her problems, that she's find peace and solace in that bed when she couldn't even fond respite.

"I wasn't myself then. I know it's no excuses but…" Clarke admits in a small voice before being cut off.

"I could not handle you being gone, gone to another...and I drank that night to oblivion. For the first time since the day I took my commandership, I did not remember much the next morning. I had thrown caution to the wind that night. The only thing I remembered when I woke up was you...you leaving me, you kissing that girl, you screaming for her. That's all that remained with me."

"I am so sorry Lexa. What I did was wrong and nothing I can ever say will make it right."

Lexa manages to nod. Clarke wipes her tears as she continues,

"I just wanted to see that you were affected too. You were so calm, so collected that every time I saw your demeanor, I felt like that was a slap to my face. It made me feel like me and my feelings didn't matter to you at all. I thought that you only spared me, that you didn't hand me over to the Mountain so you could show your allies that you stayed true to the union. I thought I was nothing but a pawn in your grand scheme, like I was supposed to be all along. I was livid, Lexa."

"And you thought being in the arms of someone else would fix that how?" Lexa once again surprises herself as she says that calmly but with a bite in her tone. She didn't know how much of this incident she had tried to bury in her mind. Ignore the thoughts, but now that Clarke has poked the beast, she feels like there is no stopping it. And maybe this dreaded conversation is for the best for both, no matter the outcome.

"It was far from my finest moment but I did get a reaction out of you. I saw you drown two drinks before I let myself be taken. But after that, the rest of the night...it wasn't about you anymore. It was about me. I…we…did things that would hurt my body and me-"

"She hurt you?" Lexa asks sharply, her eyes blazing with a new anger now.

"No, not…yes, but it was consensual." Realization dawns on Lexa's face and she just clenches her jaws in response.

"I knew to seek Niylah. I've heard the whispers about how she could be. She was a flirt but I never did a thing with her until that night. I didn't need to before then. I needed the…rough…treatment. I wanted to feel the pain that they felt when their life was taken from them. I wanted to suffer for what I did. I just...I wanted to hurt you and hurt me. I wanted both." Clarke sobs.

Lexa remains frozen where she is. Her love for Clarke makes her want to move to comfort her but she doesn't know how to do that when ultimately she is the one that drove Clarke to do what she did. Clarke cheated on her as a result of her choices and maybe that hurts more than her wife's blatant infidelity. The torment behind the act doesn't sit well with her.

Clarke laughs bitterly as she continues, "When I broke our vows...I realized what I did and I just hated...still hate myself for that. I was just so angry. Watching you come to my place of sanctuary, my hideout, asking me to forget what had happened, claiming me as yours, I wasn't okay with all that. I wanted to show you and myself that I didn't belong to you but...I was wrong. I got what I wanted not what I needed. When I came back to my room, I couldn't sleep without reminding myself that my soul and my body only belong to you. You are my soulmate after all."

Lexa's eyes, which were soft and sad at Clarke's admission, immediately turn wide at those last words.

Clarke chuckles a little and answers at the unspoken question,

"Of course I know about it. Norma believes in fate and destiny more than you do and she told me that, hoping she could help fix things between us." Clarke informs Lexa, a small blush on her face at the revelation of such delicate and intimate topic. Clarke knows it will need more than the knowledge of being soulmates to rebuild what was broken but the notion that maybe there's a higher power working in their favor consolidate her hope that someday they'll get back to where they were or find something even better.

"Nothing goes past that woman, does it? None of the other clan leaders suspect a thing." Lexa murmurs, pensive.

Clarke takes a step towards Lexa and gently brings her hands up to trace Lexa's jawline. Her face is a masterpiece but her jawline is like no other. Clarke loves it. Her wife is just beautiful. She believes her creator must have put quite some thought into making Lexa.

"I am here to apologize for hurting you, Lexa. I am apologizing for breaking the vow I took with you when we were united. I am apologizing for thinking someone else could ever satisfy me and replace you when you are my soulmate."

"Clarke...I'm scared." Lexa admits in a small voice as she takes Clarke's hands into her own. "I'm scared of the power you have over me. I lost my parents, countless of my friends, my mentor, yet the thought of losing you, actually losing you then, it was the worst of all."

Clarke switches her grip on one of Lexa's hand and places it over her heart.

"You are the only one that makes me want to live, Lexa. Not survive but live. I cannot live without you." She whispers brokenly.

"What you did was in retaliation to what I have done, so I can understand it. If I follow my head then I should not even have anything to forgive you for, I was aware of what was happening all along. But I am going to follow my heart, Clarke. You hurt my heart and I have tried to ignore it but now I realize that I can't. I can't forgive you, not yet."

"Then don't. Take all the time you need." Clarke's speaks softly. Understandingly. "I just…I just don't want to lose you, especially after everything we've gone through. I don't know what I would do without you anymore. And I am so scared to make the same mistakes that I have in the past and for you to make the same mistakes too." Clarke explains, breathing in Lexa's scent as she speaks. She hasn't realized how they both have moved much close to each other during their argument.

Lexa looks at Clarke for a while before asking,

"But can you find it in your heart to forgive me for what happened at the Mountain?"

"I am working on it." Clarke answers honestly.

"Then let's work on it together." Lexa says with a small smile on her face.

Clarke nods and just like so many months ago, when she first came to Polis, to Lexa, an unknown pull makes her move forward and bring Lexa's face to hers. She softly brushes her lips against the Commander's. She intended the kiss to be a thank you brush of lips, but similar to last time, she loses the purpose of the kiss once her lips touch Lexa's. She brushes her tongue against Lexa's lower lip asking for an entrance and is immediately granted one as the Commander opens her mouth and a growl resonates from deep down her throat. Lexa's arms move to Clarke's hips and she instinctively brings their bodies closer. Eventually, after quite some time, Clarke detaches and Lexa pulls back as well. Her eyes are dark but hold a question for Clarke. Clarke moves back, bites her lip and whispers,

"Reshop Heda."

"Goodnight Hedatu." Lexa rasps as Clarke makes her way to the door, still trying to wrap her head around what just happened. Clarke was the one who instigated the kiss but she was also the one who pulled back...stopped it from turning into something more passionate and wild. Shaking her head, she can't help but think Clarke will always remain an enigma to her.

"I need time, Lexa. I know you do too." Clarke's voice reaches her ears and her heart breaks at how small and vulnerable Clarke sounds.

She fully turns towards Clarke and looking into the blue eyes, making sure that her wife can read the truthfulness in her eyes, replies,

"You are the love of my life, Clarke. I will be ready when you are. I did more than hurt you; I was going to hurt your family. I understand if you require more time as well. I am ready to give you all the time. I am just happy that we are trying, that's enough for me for now." With that Clarke nods and opens the doors, leaving Lexa's chambers.

...

The next day, Lexa and Clarke are attending a public session when Octavia makes her way to the Heda and Hedatu's seats.

"Heda." She greets Lexa and nods before standing behind Clarke and starting her usual chatter. Clarke is distracted to say the least; there is an old man standing before them complaining about some mysterious spirit destroying his crops. Clarke watches from her periphery as Lexa half rolls her eyes before telling him very patiently and eloquently that the loss of his plants is due to pests before directing him to the healers and medicines camp where both Skaikru and Trikru remedies are available. In the meantime Octavia informs her of her day, despite Clarke telling her to join her later to have such conversation.

A few days after Clarke resumed her station of the Hedatu, she had Lincoln pardoned and even had his position raised as her personal guard. Lexa knows this would give some people the impression that Clarke has more power than Lexa but she isn't really bothered by it. She compromised Clarke's position as Hedatu at the Mountain and she is ready to fully give it back to her even it means demeaning hers to some extent.

Octavia and Clarke usually talk while having lunch but it seems Octavia as much to say to wait. The brunette tells her about her suspicion regarding Indra; her mission seeming to be about breaking each and every bone of the Sky warrior's body. She jokes that Clarke kept Lincoln as her personal guard because he is such an eye candy. Clarke hums, rolls her eyes and nods during the entire conversation but apparently these responses are encouragement enough for the young brunette to continue the one sided babbling. Clarke zones out, Octavia's voice becoming background noise until the mention of Raven's name catches her interest.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I was telling you how Lincoln has a book which-"

"No, no, before that. Something about Raven?"

"Oh yeah. I told you of the walkie-talkie she gave me before we came back here, right? So she has set up this day once a week where we talk. And I get it, she's alone and Finn-"

"Octavia, you are rambling."

"Oh, sorry."

"What was she saying?"

"Right. Apparently you and Lexa had agreed to visit Arkadia when she came to Polis the last time they were here. She was just whining about that."

"Oh." Clarke replies, her face falling. By now the public session is over and Lexa is gathering her weapons, getting ready to leave. Clarke looks at Lexa and deflates.

Octavia immediately recognizes the change in Clarke's demeanor and, putting a hand on her shoulder, tells her soothingly,

"Clarke, you don't need to go there until you are ready. Raven just misses you, you know. She hasn't taken her...injury well. She's no longer the same girl she used to be."

"None of us are, O." Clarke whispers. Octavia just nods in agreement.

...

It has been two months since Clarke and Lexa reignited their relationship. They are taking small steps towards each other. They still sleep in separate rooms but, each morning, Lexa goes up to Clarke's to deliver her a rose, and watches amusedly as Clarke's cheeks slightly turn red at the attention before having breakfast with her. Once done, they go to their respective trainings then reunite to attend public sessions or clan meetings together. Lexa is still not sure how much intimacy she is allowed with her wife or how much she wants, but when Clarke links her arms with Lexa whether at their shared breakfast or as they walk, the Heda is found smiling the entire day. When evening comes, Lexa goes to patrol her city and Clarke spends her time with Judith and Octavia. After the Mountain, Clarke only talks thrice with her mother on the little gadget that Raven gifted Octavia with. It is progress on many fronts but, after the sessions, Clarke becomes distant from Lexa and tries to avoid her. Lexa never questions it.

One morning while having breakfast, Lexa hesitantly asks her,

"I am going to visit the Boat Clan and Arkadia in two days time...would you like to join me?"

Clarke freezes as she hears Lexa say this. Lexa gently moves towards her wife and puts her hand on her thigh, her thumb caressing it softly, in a soothing manner.

She whispers, "Clarke?"

"I am terrified, Lexa. I don't know if I can face them." Clarke admits, her voice shaking.

"Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it just takes away today's peace." Lexa insists.

"But seeing their faces...it's going to be hard for me."

"I will be there with you, my wife. I will not let you lose yourself." Lexa promises, already aware of Clarke's unvoiced fear.

"I know Lexa but the fear-"

"Everything you want Hedatu is on the other side of fear. You need to cross that bridge to achieve it. I think you are ready to face your demons."

"Are you?" She asks in a small voice.

Lexa just smiles and tentatively wraps her arms around her wife...she isn't entirely sure if the gesture is welcomed by Clarke but when she feels the blonde's arms wrap themselves around her in return, she releases a sigh and tries to give her strength through the contact. Clarke relaxes in the embrace and rests her head on Lexa's shoulder for a while. Lexa runs soothing circles on Clarke's back, trying to take away Clarke's dreads.

" Okay." Clarke whispers in Lexa's neck.

"Hmm?" Lexa asks for confirmation.

"I will come with you."

...

They visit Arkadia first and Clarke feels her feet momentarily stop responding to her will as they stand by the gates and watch it open. She is reminded of the Mount Weather door. She tightly shuts her eyes to erase the image but it doesn't really work until she feels Lexa's hand squeeze hers and bring her back to reality. Lexa is with her, she is real, not the images in her mind. Lexa gently places her hand on Clarke's back and pushes her forward. Slowly and gradually she crosses the threshold and is immediately attacked by her mom in a hug. She can feel the older woman trembling in her arms as she cries her heart out.

"Hi mom." She chokes, her own eyes blurry with tears. She hears Lexa try to move back from the pair and give them space but Clarke doesn't let her. She keeps her hand tightly wrapped around her wife's. She needs her strength in this moment if she doesn't want to crumble. Lexa immediately understands the message and only stays at arm's length, giving Abby the space she requires and staying in contact with her wife at the same time.

Finally Abby releases her hold and cups her daughter's face delicately. Her hands are shaking as she runs them over Clarke's cheeks, reassuring herself that she is truly here.

"You came back, my baby girl. I - I am so sorry for what happened and that you felt like you needed to run away from us, from me." Abby says through hiccups.

"No mom, it wasn't your fault. And I had to come back. I wasn't sure I could though." She admits as she looks at Lexa and smiles softly. Abby catches the exchange and understands the role of Lexa in her daughter being here. When she turns toward the Commander and welcomes her, there is gratefulness in her eyes.

Next, the Commander is shown around by the chancellor and Marcus. She is shown the arrangements the Sky clan has made for the oncoming winter as well as the first batch of the genetically engineered crops.

Meanwhile Clarke makes way to her best friend's room. Raven wasn't amongst the people Clarke met at the gates, which gave her the impression that Raven mustn't be much happy with Clarke. She can't blame her. After all, she has not talked to Raven in more than 6 whole months.

Raven's location is easily spotted when she enters her room. She is lying on her bed, looking up at the ceiling, ignoring the intruder. Clarke gingerly makes her way to her friend's bed and sits by the corner of it waiting for a reaction, any reaction but gets no response from the girl.

"Raven?"

"Glad to know that you still remember my name." Comes the bitter response.

Clarke sighs and murmurs, "I had to, Rae. I had to."

"You didn't have to, Clarke. You didn't need to shut me out." She says harshly.

"Raven you might-"

"It's okay, Clarke. I just thought we were closer than that." The mechanic says dismissively and in a swift motion gets up from the bed, but immediately winces after. Clarke starts to move forward to help her but an icy glare from the girl stops her from doing so.

"I couldn't come back here, Raven. I couldn't not see their faces when I saw you all. I couldn't hear your voice and not think of the operation I had to conduct on you. My brain somewhat marked it as the initial event in the chain of unfortunate events." Clarke says, laughing bitterly.

"Why- how are you here now then?" She accuses.

"Lexa."

"Your wife who betrayed us at the Mountain forced you to come here? I am not even surprised." Raven says, turning her body towards Clarke, her eyes shooting daggers.

"She didn't force me. She is not who you think she is, Raven. She isn't perfect, I know that, but no one is. She had her reasons to take the deal, one of them being me." Clarke utters in a low voice.

Raven snorts, "So you have forgiven her just like everyone around here has? Bought her bullshit to never pull such a stunt again?"

"No I haven't but I am be making the decisions with her now, Raven. You don't need to trust her, you just need to trust me."

Raven purses her lips before asking,

"And what about forgiving her?"

"I-I think I have." She replies, surprising herself.

"You sound surprised." Raven mutters her observation out loud.

"I...I didn't know I had. I thought I couldn't but she has...she healed me, Raven. She picked up my broken pieces and glued them together. She has made me whole again." Clarke confesses further.

"I need more than sex to convin-"

"She hasn't."

"Sorry?"

"She hasn't touched me once without my consent. She hasn't come close to having sex with me since that day...she even let me, she let me fuck someone else in front of her." Tears have started to pickle the back of Clarke's eyes as she hears her own words.

Raven's eyes widen questionably.

"I did it to hurt her and I did...but I ended up hurting myself in the process too." Clarke admits.

Raven, the ever-stubborn mechanic tries to plead her case one last time,

"What makes you think that she has been loyal to you this entire time? What makes you think she didn't let someone else fill your place in her bedroom too?"

"I know she didn't. She was grieving for her friend she sacrificed at the Mountain. She was drowning herself in work; both mine and hers. Even if these weren't the circumstances, Lexa would never. I can bet my life on it." Clarke replies firmly.

Raven hums thoughtfully. Clarke holds her breath, waiting for the final judgment. Finally her friend opens her mouth,

"So I don't have to go out there and kick her ass?" A small smirking grin adorns Raven's face.

"No I don't think that will be necessary." Clarke says laughing.

"Are you sure she is fine with what you did, Clarke?" Raven asks after a while.

"We talked about it. She...she is too good Raven. Sometimes I think I don't even deserve her, that I am not good enough for her."

"Okay princess, don't sell yourself short; you fell in love with your captor, you fell in love with a woman who was feared here, who is known for her brutality. That's not the kind of thing you hear every day."

"Because of how good she is, Raven. I didn't do anything."

"You did. You gave her a chance. You gave a chance to a woman who you once believed was a monster."

Clarke scrunches her nose, trying to come up with a counter argument but fails.

"You deserve each other." Raven says with a knowing smile.

...

After making promises to both her mom and her friends to 'not be a stranger', Clarke leaves for the Boat Clan the next day. She rides alongside her wife and offers Lexa her thank you. Lexa nods in acknowledgement. She then provides Clarke with the history of the Boat people and their close ties with the Tree people. Once Clarke spots the sea, though, she starts asking Lexa questions about the creatures that reside inside it. Lexa happily shares her knowledge about the sea. She tells her that she learnt fishing from Costia, that she would only fish here and with her friend. Clarke feels the pain underneath Lexa's stoic exterior. She doesn't comment on it but is reminded that this isn't easy for Lexa either.

They meet Luna and Clarke is shocked to see the appearance of the woman. The woman seemed to have aged years in the past few months. Losing her daughter clearly has taken a toll on her. Clarke watches Luna embrace Lexa as a greeting rather than grab her arm like she is used to. She sees her wife stiffen before relaxing.

When Luna releases her, Lexa's eyes have traces of moisture in them and she quickly blinks to make the building tears go away. She then clears her throat and says,

"It's good to see you Luna." Luna nods at her as she next extends her hand towards Clarke. Clarke obviously notes the difference in treatment but she doesn't blame the woman. Her daughter died because of her love for Lexa and Clarke happens to be Lexa's wife and her one true love.

"It's good to see you Clarke." Clarke is surprised to hear the woman say. She searches her eyes and only finds sincerity.

"You too." Clarke replies, her voice thick with emotions at how strong the other woman is even after such a huge loss.

They don't stay long with the Boat Clan; Luna and her people are already well verses of the methods and equipment required to survive winter. Lexa, however, performs her duty to the fullest and only makes her leave once she is sure that everything is up to the mark.

...

They reach the castle late into the night and after having a very late night dinner in Lexa's chambers, Lexa waits for her wife to leave for her room. She doesn't want her to but she knows she will. She follows Clarke up when she stands from her seat but instead of walking towards the door, Clarke walks towards Lexa. Lexa looks at her questionably until warm, soft lips cover hers. She is taken aback by such sudden move but the surprise isn't enough for her not to answer the kiss in kind. And answer the kiss, she does. She brushes her tongue against Clarke's lower lip for an entrance she is immediately given. She fervently explores the insides of Clarke's mouth. She caresses Clarke's tongue before biting it. Her arms move from Clarke's shoulders, descending to her back before resting on her hips, and stopping on her ass. She kneads the soft but firm cheeks and hears Clarke moan in pleasure. Just as she is about to reach for the helm of Clarke's shirt, she feels a change in the kiss. Clarke is slowing it down and pulls away after a while.

"I am tired, Lexa."

"Oh."

"Goodnight, Heda." She whispers as she almost runs away from her.

...

The next day passes like any other and Lexa can't help but feel down that nothing has changed between them even after last night. In fact, Clarke seems to be pretending that the passionate kiss that left Lexa awake for the entire night never even happened. Lexa has been sour the whole day and returns to her room after her regular patrol of the city very frustrated. She understands that Clarke needs more time to come to terms with what she did and forgive herself, she is willing to give her infinite time but she doesn't need the tease from those sinful kisses till then.

She has just changed into her nighttime clothes when she hears a knock on her door. Upon opening the door, she finds Ryder standing there. He looks at her apologetically before speaking up,

"The Hedatu wishes to see you, Heda."

"Clarke?" She wonders to herself, surprised. It is an unspoken rule between them not to call for the other at night. She quickly picks up her sword as she makes her way to her wife's room.

She knocks on her door and waits for Clarke to answer. When that doesn't happen, she opens the door herself. She finds no one in the main chamber. Worry takes over as she calls her wife's name only to receive no response.

She frantically runs to the weapons' room to check if Clarke would be there. But Clarke is nowhere to be found. Failing to locate her in the front rooms, Lexa turns to the last place she hasn't checked yet. There, in the bath chambers, she finds her wife and Lexa breathes a sigh of relief before frowning. Why did Clarke not answer to her calls when she would have very much heard her, even more so as she doesn't appear being armed or sleeping?

She is basking in the bathtub, bubbles covering her curvaceous body. It takes everything in Lexa to stop trying to peek through the bubbles at the delectable form she knows hidden beneath it.

"You asked for me Clarke?" She finally manages to ask. Her voice isn't very steady and she mentally scolds herself for it.

Her eyes widen as Clarke stands up in the bath without a word. She stands in front of Lexa in all her naked glory, nothing shielding her body from Lexa's sight. Lexa tries hard to stop her gaze from wandering down Clarke's face as droplets and remnants of foam tauntingly glide along soft creamy skin but she fails miserably. Her tongue comes out to lick her lips as her gaze travels from Clarke's beautiful neck to her full breasts, following one pearl of water. Lexa follows it intensely, not missing a bit as the droplet seems to be taking Lexa's favorite path on her wife's skin until it stops at the tip on a perked nipple, temptingly hanging there as if calling out to her to come and do the rest. Though Lexa's mouth is as dry as her wife's body is wet, she finds that her legs have stopped responding. She is rooted to her place in front of the bathtub in full view of her delicious wife, eyes blown wide, heart beating fast and mouth agape. Clarke then moves, bringing one leg over the edge then the other, not breaking eye contact with her wife, purposefully and tauntingly swaying her hips and sliding towards Lexa. Almost feline like. Clarke is nothing short of sensual and sexual in that moment, candles casting soft glows on her bouncing breast. Lexa is trapped in this vision, entranced by the fullness of such godly cleavage. But she doesn't move, even if she could she wouldn't; Clarke is too captivating.

Clarke stops a few millimeters away from Lexa's body, radiating of warmth and arousal. Lexa's breath hitches and she bites her lips to effectively stop a moan dying to leave her lips. Lexa's body buzzes with anticipation, with wants and needs, with a curiosity to see what Clarke has in mind. Clarke bends a little on her side, bringing her naked body flush against Lexa's clothed one. Lexa gulps as Clarke braces herself with one hand on Lexa's taut stomach as the other runs along Lexa's side to reach her fisted hand, freeing the sword from her grasp. The smell of those delectable strawberries that wafts from Clarke's skin hits her hard and she lowly whimpers, her knees threatening to buckle under such savory smell. She hopes Clarke didn't hear it. She knows she's been caught when she sees a smirk forming on the blonde's face as she purposefully brushes past her into the bedroom, sword trailing behind her as Clarke walks seductively, rolling her ass and pushing her air to the side, Lexa still not moving but turning her head to follow her with her eyes. When Clarke stops, Lexa's eyes remain glued to her backside. She becomes scarlet when Clarke turns her head over her shoulder to look at her through those thick eyelashes, twinkle in her eyes perfectly aware of Lexa's wandering eyes and the effect her little show is having. Clarke walks to the bed to dispose of the sword and saunters back to her wife. Lexa has turned around to fully watch her wife in the bedroom and is now leaning against the doorframe, panting, gaze still following her every moves. When Clarke comes to stand in front of her once more, Lexa swallows audibly. When Clarke puts her arms on either side of Lexa's head, gripping the wood and effectively caging her wife, Lexa's heart skips a beat. Then Clarke pushes her breast forward and her lips ghost Lexa's, breathing in each other's enticing scents.

"W-what are-"

Lexa's question dies in Clarke's mouth. They kiss for a while, lazily, tentatively, deeply, taking their sweet time to rediscover this simple but all encompassing intimacy, rediscovering each other's velvet tongues and palates, lapping and overlapping, sucking and suckling, moaning and not detaching before lips are thoroughly red and swollen only to reattach themselves to start it all over again. Then Clarke stirs them to the next step, changing the rhythm of their loving display. She takes Lexa's chin in her hand before letting her hand fall to Lexa's chest, taking her bottom lip between hers, pulling it with her teeth as a hand grips Lexa's shirt. She releases her lips, keeping Lexa close to her with her hold, dark green eyes staring into the blue abyss, both short of breath after such intensity. But Clarke doesn't give her a chance to question or talk altogether as she release her grip and starts unbuttoning Lexa's shirt. Clarke stays flush to Lexa's body, hips to hips. Button after button, Clarke makes her way down, uncovering more and more of the beautiful tan skin. Clarke undresses Lexa slowly, meaningfully. It is not just about lust. It is more precious than that. She is showing love and dedication to her wife, letting her know she's here to stay and that she's ready, letting the opportunity for Lexa to walk away if it becomes too much. Each button is a step towards gaining back what was lost, a whisper of forgiveness and affection. Symbolically claiming this instant as a renewal, as a new beginning. And Lexa doesn't shy away as Clarke is practically kneeling before her as she unbuttons the bottom part of her nightshirt, head just an inch shy of her apex slowly being revealed. But Lexa remains put, letting Clarke expresses what she needs to, hot breath blowing on her shivering skin, leaving goosebumps in her wake. But for how much she wants to, Lexa doesn't let herself touch the soft, enchanting, enticing, alluring skin of her wife, to her own frustration and disappointment. Once she is finally freed of her garment, Lexa finally makes a motion to grab her wife and kiss her passionately, the need to feel skin on skin overwhelming, only to find Clarke biting her bottom lip, eyes darkened, backing into the bath chambers. Clarke steps in the bathtub and makes a come-hither gesture as she purrs seductively,

"Come join me for a bath Heda?"

"I don't understand Clarke, yesterday-"

"I wanted it to be special."

Lexa nods as her eyes once again roam her wife's delectable form. Her stupor stops and she gazes predatorily at her wife. It has been so long since she's been graced with the entire expense of her naked skin, she cannot help herself but drink her in.

"Are you just going to stand there and look at me with that darkened gaze or going to come here and show me the meaning of the gaze?"

"If that's what my wife wants." Lexa replies with a small smirk as she steps away from the doorframe, gathering her hair on own side before she submerges herself in the still warm water. Just as she settles in, hands pick her left leg up, propping it on a soft thigh, and start their work of lathering and massaging the skin. Lexa doesn't hold back her moan when Clarke's nimble fingers reach her thigh.

"How long-" She starts with a husky voice as she lets her fingers inch closer to Lexa's very wet center.

"Since our last coupling." Lexa replies in a gasp.

"You mean to say you haven't found pleasure since our last time? Even by yourself?" Clarke asks for confirmation as she slides over to Lexa's side, her right leg still under Lexa's left, coming to circle her waist as her left straddles Lexa's right bringing both cores together, warmth and wetness mixing. Both of them groan as the sensation and the immediate spikes of pleasure it sends up their bodies.

Lexa just shakes her head, her cheeks red as she involuntarily but wantonly moves her center against Clarke's, clit to clit, eliciting a guttural moan from the blonde.

"I didn't have any time." Lexa pants as she repeats the action with more purpose.

Clarke hums as she locks her arms behind Lexa's neck while Lexa caresses Clarke's back till the top of her ass, pushing her wife closer against her. Flushed and needy, Clarke reconnects her lips with her wife's as Lexa starts a rhythm they both fall in sync with, keeping as close as possibly, arms and legs tightening around the other.

"You are so beautiful." Lexa rasps as she starts moving down Clarke's neck, planting feathery light kisses as she thrusts faster and harder, moaning and whimpering along with her wife. Lexa suckles at her pulse point, determined to reclaim that patch of skin and mark it as hers anew. Clarke throws her head back, giving full space for Lexa to attack the tender skin, pushing her breasts impossibly closer to the pert one of her wife. A smile forms on her face as she looks at her name across Clarke's breast. That tattoo that she was sure Clarke would hate and she did, until she learnt to love it, love the person who's name was engraved on the hedatu's skin.

"You have no idea how hard it's been. Not being able to hold you, to kiss those delectable lips, to map your amazing skin."

At this, Clarke brings her face up to meet Lexa's in a fierce, passionate, wild kiss.

"You haven't had the taste of pleasure for months, I feel it's my duty to rectify it." Clarke says as her hands slither down Lexa's body, using the momentum of their scissoring position to use her hips being her thrusts as she plunges mercilessly two fingers inside Lexa's dripping pussy.

"Please do." Lexa moans as her hands find their way around Clarke's front to play and knead those full round breasts.

The water has long turned cold before they decide to take their love making to the bedroom, Clarke welcoming Lexa back to their bed and Lexa officially broking their renewed intimacy but making Clarke come twice. It is not until the early rays of morning sun that the couple finds sleep, body spent, hearts full and dreamy smiles. Lexa moves back in that day. There is still some work to do but none can find the strength to sleep apart anymore. They enjoy fully for a whole week what Clarke calls their second honeymoon. They stay later in bed in the mornings, most of the time forgo lunch to sneak some make out time between duties, and always walk back together to their room, drawing bath and sharing grapes, tenderly making up for lost time. One would say this second honeymoon never ended for the love only grew from the moment Clarke and Lexa gave themselves a second chance at love with their significant other.

...

Clarke watches with a tender smile as she twirls and dances in the garden with the fireflies. Aunt Octavia had discovered them a few months ago and insisted to have a few of them brought in the castle for their children to play with, although Clarke was doubtful about how Lincoln and Octavia's 6 months old could play with them. Her 3 year-old daughter, on the other hand, seems to enjoy the little lightning bugs to the fullest. Clarke grins as she sees the green-eyed toddler grab one of the fireflies and bring it to her Nomon. Lexa keeps it on her hand for a little while and then releases it. She then starts talking to their daughter animatedly. Clarke can't help but chuckle at this. Lexa sometimes seems to forget that 3 year olds can't entirely grasp everything she says. She had once watched Lexa tell their daughter the entire history of the Commanders before her, their baby girl drinking every word in with wide eyes.

Once she had also witnessed Lexa being close to tears when she couldn't make their baby stop crying. Costia was hungry and Lexa didn't know it. It had been Clarke's best entertainment to watch a clueless Commander handle their baby during the first few months after Costia was born from her womb.

Her birth was considered a miracle among the Grounders as they believed that, because the Heda and Hedatu have holy spirits, they were given this child as a blessing. It wasn't until later, when Abby and Jackson delivered babies to other similar couples without requiring the contribution of the male specie, that the Grounders accepted it was science and not a miracle.

"Clarke! Clarke! Come join us!" She hears the melodious voice of her wife reach her ears.

She grins and makes way towards her family. Lexa wraps her arms around Clarke and kisses her forehead softly. The Hedatu ruffles the blond hair of their daughter as she comes running towards them, gives them a quick hug and goes off running again.

"Hello my wife." Lexa says in Clarke's hair.

"Hey my love." Clarke whispers as she watches their child waltz around the flower field running in circles.

Lexa chuckles as she says,

"Costia approves of the flower I give to her mom, it seems."

"Apparently she does." Clarke agrees.

"So when are Roan and Raven coming again?"

"The King and Queen of the Ice Nation will be here in a few hours." Lexa replies.

"Yes yes, I know they are coming for the meeting but it doesn't mean I am going to start calling them by their titles because of that! It's my best friend...no, my sister and her husband that we are talking about." Clarke justifies herself, pouting a little.

Lexa laughs and kisses the pout away with a tender peck on her wife's lips.

"I don't enjoy it when your sister is here."

"Why?"

"Then I have to share you...I already have to share you with our little daughter." It's Lexa's turn to pout. Her tone is light. Clarke knows she is joking.

"Our daughter Lexa, meaning I share you with her too and you just don't want Raven to come because she is the only one who can tease you senseless."

"Hmph."

"But you do want her to come, I know you do. She's become your friend too." Clarke says smirking.

"She doesn't respect me like Octavia does."

"Half of our sex sessions have been interrupted because of Octavia, and yet you like her?" Clarke says making a face.

"She apologizes after it and I get to hear about how good I am in the sac when she asks you about the details."

Clarke playfully slaps Lexa's arm and the brunette laughs.

"When do you have to leave?" Clarke asks after a while.

"The Fire Clan has yet to choose their next general. Indra has been handling their affairs well but I need to be there to finalize the matter. I will leave as soon as the Azgeda delegation leaves."

"Hmm. If you want to, I can take care of the Azgeda."

"I know you can Clarke, but I also know you need to spend some time with your friends as Clarke and not as the Hedatu. You have been working tirelessly for quite some time now. You need to relax."

"You do help me relax." Clarke says wriggling her eyebrows suggestively.

"Do I?" Lexa murmurs as she kisses her neck and sucks on the pulsing spot.

"Mhmm." Clarke moans softly as she watches their child now start making a weird looking flower crown out of roses. She clearly loves flowers like her Nomon.

"I miss Norma." Clarke suddenly speaks, making Lexa put her tongue back in her mouth after only a flick on the wife's neck.

"I know you do. I do too. I know she was closer to you, I am sorry for the loss." Lexa says genuinely.

"I am too. She was a great woman but with a slight flaw."

"Oh yeah?"

"She hated cats."

Lexa raises one of her eyebrows and looks at her skeptically.

"She had around 8 cats or so I've heard."

"10, but she hated them all."

Before Lexa could investigate the matter, she feels someone tugging at her pants and looks down to find their little chubby angel as the culprit.

"I am glad she prefers you holding her. The kid is heavy." Clarke laughs, her eyes sparkling. Lexa merely rolls her eyes at her wife. She shouldn't have let Indra and Abby share baby stories for now Clarke teases her every occasion she gets about their daughter being her nomon's spitting image. But Lexa knows it is playful banter between the two of them; Clarke loves their daughter with all her heart, being the perfect mix of both women as much physically as emotionally. So Lexa picks their little green eyed blonde haired daughter and wraps her other arm around her wife's waist as the little girl draps herself over her nomon's shoulder while resting her other hand on her mother's upper chest. They sigh contentedly in the warm late afternoon as they stroll in the garden, Lexa counting stories to their tired daughter as Clarke eyes them both with nothing but love.

AN: Thank you for all the love and support that you guys have provided me throughout this story. The clexa fandom is amazing and I am so proud to be a part of it.

Some of you might have not liked the chapter but that's okay, I knew I couldn't satisfy everyone. However, I did give you a happy ending, didn't I? :P
Anyway, now that this story has finally come to an end, I feel a bit empty. I never enjoy rereading my work but this was an exception. I actually liked reading this story and now that it's over, I won't get to do that. I know that I am the writer so this must sound a bit weird but I have already accepted the fact that I am weird so whatever. :)
Moving on, I am returning back to college tomorrow and I am not excited about it at all. In fact, I don't even know how I'll manage to wake up for an 8 o'clock class. I remember exactly a year back, when I had first joined the institute, I was so excited about the first day. Now, however, not so much. Ugh.
Kindly excuse the rambling up there and if possible give me a review of the entire story? If you liked it then go ahead and share it with your friends!
As for any future clexa fanfics from my side; I don't know. I really want to make the vampire AU one shot that I had posted sometime back into a multichapter fanfic but I am not sure I'll have time for it once classes start.
We'll see what the future brings, won't we?
Once again, really grateful for all your encouraging comments, your positive criticisms, your shares, your subscriptions, your kudos', and your support!
Take care everyone. (You can always seek me out on tumblr- .com)
May We Meet Again,
ArshuK
PS- a shout out to my friend Lowiiie for sticking with me throughout the journey and helping me write this fanfiction. I am thankful that you had volunteered to beta 'Lost' nearly 2 years back, that was where the journey had begun after all.

PPS- I might not be posting my future works on fanfiction dot net so if you follow me here, I think it will be wise of you to subscribe me on archiveofourown (the name is ArshuK) or follow me on wattpad (ArshuSyed).