Relief

'Kaaaaneki~!'

He sighed, smiling to himself and continued pouring the coffee as steadily as he could manage. Under the circumstances he was in he was trying his best to remain as calm as he could around not only Touka-chan but also Hide.

'Kaneeeeeeeeeekiiiiii~!'

Touka was glaring at him expectantly as if he had the power to stop whatever Hide was doing. Of course, he could reply to his best friend but he was in a busy coffee shop.

Working his shift.

Trying his best not to get fired for slacking off.

It was a sunny day and it had been surprising when the small shop had filled up considerably quickly within three hours of opening. It seemed like Anteiku was gaining popularity. Not that he didn't see why, the shop was unusually peaceful and comforting. The atmosphere lulling you into security and tranquillity; that was what had attracted Kaneki to this small area in the first place.

The chance to relax with his best friend and read a nice calming book.

If only he hadn't walked into this shop.

If only he hadn't been forced into this life.

He felt a surge of helplessness overtake him.

A life where he was barely strong enough to protect anyone.

A life which had proven to him that he was barely able to protect himself, thus; would obviously be unable to support or shield anyone else.

A life with more hardships than he had previously, in his human life, considered impossible to handle.

However, he reminded himself; life goes on. This was his way of handling any stray negative feelings that had managed to make their way to the surface.

Either way, the shop couldn't be held at fault. It was a utopia for him no matter what event had been instigated within these walls.

Today was a Saturday and he was working the whole day, not that he minded, he was quite happy to spend the day in a place which comforted him so utterly. He wasn't sure what attributed to that comfort. Maybe it was the smell of coffee in the air or the soft smiles from Irmi. Maybe Touka and Nishki's constant bickering or maybe the gentle eyes of the manager upon all his employees-his children.

Maybe it was the annoying whining from his best friend.

Or the radiant smiles from him that made the sun shine brighter.

He shrugged to himself. His assessment or observational skills weren't as acute as Hide's and he felt himself wasting time, lost within his thoughts and rushed to serve the customers, carefully navigating two dainty cups of coffee and sandwiches to their table.

He felt himself grow almost mechanical in his workflow as he greeted customers, took their orders, prepared them and served. A smile plastered on his face making his jaw ache.

However, it felt good; the fact that maybe someone would leave the coffee shop more cheerful or even more relaxed. Working at such a beautiful place made him feel good.

More than feeling good though, he felt relieved.

His eyes of their own accord darted to the head of blonde hair that was across the room from him; relieved that his friend was still with him, un-harmed. Accepting his odd transformation into what he was now.

He could tell it bothered Hide regarding how closed off Kaneki had become however he knew that his best friend did his best to put up with it. To cheer him up and always tell him that he was there for him; to constantly text him through the night if he discovered that Kaneki was having a hard time sleeping.

And he always found out.

He always knew when Kaneki was upset.

He must been staring at Hide completely lost in thought but to his surprise his companion was staring back him, his honey eyes warm and jovial, and fixed onto him with surprising intensity.

It was as if he was trying to tell him something.

Almost unwittingly he could feel heat rising in cheeks and he stared back hoping to make some sense of the situation.

Was Hide okay?

'Kanekiiiii~!'

He snapped out of his daze, this time acknowledging the energetic blonde's call.

'Hide, you realize I'm working right?' Kaneki asked almost abashedly, reaching his companion and sitting down across from him, earning a grin.

'But this is so important Neki!' Hide announced, bouncing on his chair, causing the small table to shake dangerously, making other customers turn to the duo in surprise.

He fought to suppress a smile at his friend's idiocy.

He was so relieved.

'Hide I don't want to hear about your latest celebrity crush,' the white haired boy groaned, scratching his chin unconsciously.

Hide studied him for a moment, his smile still intact and his eyes glowing.

'But it's not about a celeb crush, it's someone from Kamii!'

'Oh?' He could tell he sounded stupid, he was supposed to act enthusiastic. He was desperately trying to feign a casual attitude, but an odd sort of possessive feeling shot through him, his heart twisting in a way he wasn't used to. The way Hide had said it also bothered him; so proudly. Kaneki supposed he was supposed to be acting more supportive, nicer and probably less jealous.

Jealous.

Yeah. That was the correct word to describe what he was feeling at that moment. He felt jealous of who ever had caught Hide's eye in thei-Hide's university.

Because this was his best friend.

And he was afraid of losing him again.

The first time had been his fault but he really couldn't risk losing Hide again. What would happen if he left Kaneki to be with a complete stranger? He couldn't lose Hide.

No.

He couldn't lose the sunshine he just found.

'You okay Neki? You look like you want to throw up?' Hide interjected, not helping the internal turmoil that the white haired teen was going through.

'Uh- Sorry, I must have eaten something bad.'

He realized his mistake too late and winced, looking at the table, away from Hide, rubbing his chin. He heard a chuckle from Hide and bit his lip.

'What, did you eat a hobo?'

'Hide!' Kaneki cried, looking at his friend aghast.

'Sorry, sorry, bad joke,' the blonde kept laughing.

It was evident from his laughter that he didn't find his joke bad. Kaneki could feel his face heating up and he pushed himself off his chair.

'Hey! Where are you going?'

Hide's laughter died down.

'I need to work.'

Even to his own ears his voice sounded bitter.

By the end of his long shift, he felt considerably relaxed. The fact that he had spent most of the time at the back washing dishes and not serving also contributed to his relaxation.

His shoulders still felt tense but at least that sickening feeling of wanting to curl up into a ball and disappear was gone. There was a persistent tugging at his heart and his head ached but that was something he could live with.

Overall he was relaxed. He was ready to face him again.

He was walking out of Anteiku, locking everything up and leaving when an arm dropped onto his shoulder carelessly, and to his utter shock he was pulled into someone.

He was instantly hit by the smell. The smell of fresh air, sand, and some sort of deodorant. The smell of flesh.

Hide.

'Hide, what are you doing?' he asked, flushing furiously and squirming feebly in the blonde's grip. His best friend just pulled him closer if anything, ignoring his protests.

When he didn't reply, Kaneki tried again.

'Hide, people are staring!'

'I'm trying to have a moment Neki, stay still!'

His voice was soft, gentle, almost compelling Kaneki to do exactly as he was instructed. He dropped his hands, breathing him in. It was like an odd scene from a romance novel he had read.

However this was his best friend. The best friend who was acting platonically and non-romantically, trying to comfort him most likely.

Hide could always tell when he was upset.

After what felt like an eternity and a few seconds simultaneously Hide moved away from him stiffly. The embarrassment of being held in public had died down a while back and the dull ache had returned, mounting through their 'moment'. It had risen from his heart to his throat, pricking his eyes.

His arms were on his shoulders and his blonde friend's honey coloured eyes scrutinizing his face. He was struggling to school his expression into something more impassive.

'Was it the hobo joke?'

The question sounded like a formality, both of them perfectly aware of the fact that it wasn't the hobo joke. That was just Hide being Hide.

Trying to make him laugh.

He tried to school his expression into something normal.

Something that wouldn't betray his insecurity and everything he was scared of showing.

'Yeah definitely,' the white haired boy nodded, trying to grin.

He couldn't cry. Not now. Not in front of Hide. Not because of the stupid emotions he was feeling.

He couldn't ask his best friend to drop everything and just be with him.

He couldn't.

He couldn't ask Hide to choose between him and the world.

But he wished he could.

But he didn't.

'Liar.'

He was surprised, Hide usually didn't blatantly point out when he was quite obviously lying. He usually gave him more space.

'I'm not lying,' he retorted, his hand half-raised to his chin. He realized what he was doing and dropped it, his fingers twitching.

The blonde was studying him completely dissatisfied, his eyes moving over his barely held together expression.

For the first time in his life he didn't want Hide near him. He wanted to run away. As far as he could. From his best friend.

'I'll walk you home buddy!'

Hide's bright smile hit him like a brick.

His relief was marred with guilt and a twisting jealousy.

'Sure Hide.'

Little did Hide know his home was being uprooted.

A/N: Thank you for reading and apologies for any errors etc. Hope you enjoyed!