JE owns the rights to anything familiar. The mistakes are all mine.

There is a song called "Make it Without You" by Andrew Belle that probably inspired this story, however, I was again trying to write something completely different so who the hell really knows. My brain is a mystery these days.

This is a tad on the angsty side, but I think it all turns out okay in the end. Thanks in advance for reading and leaving me messages. I do enjoy that immensely.

There were five voicemails on my phone, all from Stephanie, and I hadn't listened to a single one. We said all there was to say, at least I had, and I didn't want whatever was waiting on those recordings to delay my plans.

Because they could.

She'd always been able to sway a decision I thought was final and it was time to stop letting her have that kind of power. I should have never allowed it in the first place.

Pulling open the bottom drawer of my dresser, I scooped out the contents and dumped it into the bag at my feet. I didn't need to pack all my clothes; there was a full closet waiting for me in the penthouse in Miami but I wanted to take everything. I didn't plan to ever come back to Trenton and I knew if I left anything behind, even a pair of socks, I'd use it as a flimsy excuse to return.

I spent the next hour emptying my bedroom and it turned out to be some of her underwear, the ones Ella had embroidered with the company logo, which I found mixed with mine in the closet that put an abrupt ending to my goal to finish packing.

It also had me getting out the twenty-year-old bottle of scotch I'd been saving for a special occasion while I fingered the silky material and tried not to think about how she looked the last time I'd seen her wearing them.

I tried not to think about a lot of things involving Stephanie but that only made the memories flow freely, so I poured a generous two fingers of scotch into a crystal tumbler and knocked back half, hoping the alcohol would dull the constant rush of emotion. But all it did was remind me of the time she had one too many margaritas and drunkenly admitted her feelings for me right before she passed out in my Porsche.

In a fit of frustration, I threw the glass against the wall, shattering it into a thousand pieces and staining the carpet with the expensive amber liquid.

Leaning my head back on the couch cushions, I closed my eyes against the mess and told myself for the hundredth time that I didn't want her, that I didn't need her...that somehow I'd figure out how to make it without her.

She would continue on here without me, probably get married to the cop, get another dog, have a couple of kids...and after a while it would be like I was never a part of her life at all.

This is how it should have been all along.

I never should have agreed to meet her when Connie called in that favor. I never should have tried to teach her anything or helped her with her captures or rescued her when Morelli handcuffed her to her shower rod. I never should have kissed her that first time in her parking lot when she was vulnerable and crying and looking like the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and I never should have taken her to bed where I proceeded to lose a part of myself each time I touched her.

I never should have let myself love her and then this wouldn't hurt so fucking much.

My phone buzzed inside my pocket and I breathed out a sigh, letting it go to voicemail. Don't listen, you idiot. Don't even think about listening.

Ignoring my inner warning system was becoming commonplace. I'd been doing it since the day she came crashing into my life so of course I couldn't stop myself from sliding it out and finally hitting the correct buttons to retrieve the voicemails.

My breath caught in my throat the second her distraught voice sounded through the tiny speaker phone.

"Ranger, I...please don't leave like this...don't go before I..."

A knock sounded on my door and I stopped the message. What if it was her? I'd given instructions to deny her access if she arrived but I wouldn't put it past some of the men to let her in anyway; they'd fallen victim to her charms just as much as I had. Hector in particular was very fond of Stephanie and since he was sitting monitor duty tonight, I wouldn't be surprised to find he'd granted her an entrance. I made my way to the foyer half afraid I find her there…and half afraid I wouldn't.

But when I opened the door, Tank's enormous frame was filling the doorway. He was carrying a set of fobs and had a manila envelope tucked under his arm.

"These arrived from Miami this afternoon," he announced holding up the key ring, "and this is the last of the paperwork that needs your signature."

I gestured for him to enter and stepped aside so he could fit through the threshold. He headed for the living room, pausing briefly at the broken glass before settling onto the couch and saying, "What'd that scotch ever do to you?"

I knew he was just trying to lighten the obvious tension he sensed but I wasn't in the mood. "Did you bring a pen? Because I think packed all mine."

He eyed the mess one more time and then pulled out a pen from the front pocket of his shirt. I sat beside him on the couch and spread out the papers which would give him the reins of Rangeman, Trenton.

Just before pen hit paper, he spoke again. "Are you sure about this?" I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. It wasn't the first time he asked and probably wouldn't be the last but I was tired of the question.

"Sorry," he apologized quietly. "I just don't want you to have any regrets."

I scrawled my signature in all the indicated places and slid the stack back into the envelope. "The only thing I regret is not doing this sooner."

Tank cut his eyes back to the shattered mess on the carpet but wisely chose not to comment further. I knew he thought I was making a mistake, but it was my mistake to make and he knew better than to push any harder.

"Okay," he said, taking the envelope and pen back from my hands and dropping the fobs onto the coffee table. "These will get you in the building and your apartment but Silvo needs you to see him as soon as you get there so he can give you all your other access codes."

I leaned back into the couch and rubbed at the ache beginning to throb at my temples. "Right, it's first on my agenda."

Tank lifted off the couch and I thought I would be safe from any more questions but of course, I was wrong. I was wrong about almost everything lately. "I guess I'll see you when I see you."

"Yeah," I agreed and didn't add, only if you come to Florida.

"What time's your flight tomorrow?" Jesus, what was it going to take for him to get a clue and get the fuck out?

"Eight."

"Early; good. Is Julie excited?"

Excited wasn't really what I'd call it but I hadn't told him the real reason for my move to Miami. Only one person had heard the entire story and that wasn't Tank.

"I guess so, look I really need to…" My phone buzzed from the spot on the coffee table where I'd dropped it and Stephanie's name glowing in the display drew both of our eyes like a magnet. After it rang four times and fell silent and still on the glass top I looked up and found Tank staring at me.

He held my gaze and I begged him internally to not open his mouth but I could not catch one single break today. "Have you…did you talk to her?"

A sigh escaped from deep in my chest. I guess blunt was going to be the only way to get through to him.

"Not that it's any of your business but yes, I talked to her. I laid it all out on the line and she…she made her choice. It's over and it's done and I really want to be alone right now, so please, with all due respect, go the fuck away."

"Yeah," he said with a nod and turned in the direction of the door. When he pulled it open he left me with one final thought. "If it's done, why is she calling?"

The locks clicked closed and as requested, I was left alone with only that question bouncing around in my head. Why was she calling? Stephanie hadn't left me with any doubts about our future so why the hell had she called seven times in the past two days?

I picked up my phone and turned it over in my hands a dozen times before I deleted the messages without listening to any more. What I'd told Tank was the truth. She'd made her decision and there wasn't anything left to discuss.

Just so I wasn't tempted further, I powered down the device and packed it into my carry-on bag and then attempted to finish packing but all I ended up doing was playing the 'what if' game while I folded t-shirts and pants. What if her reaction had been a knee jerk response? What if, after given time to think it over, she changed her mind? What if all those messages I deleted was her trying to say she was wrong? What if she was hurt or in trouble or…

Obviously turning my brain off wasn't an option. I needed a distraction and I wasn't going to find it in my apartment. I stripped out of my work clothes and donned a pair of boxing shorts. Hopefully there would be someone in the gym willing to go a round or thirty with me.

I ripped open the door and nearly plowed into the object of my torment. Stephanie stood in my lobby with her arm in the air getting ready to knock. Fucking Hector.

Her long curls were pulled back from her face into a loose ponytail and her big blue eyes were red and puffy from crying and I had to resist every instinct that was telling me to wrap her in my arms and never let her go.

She swiped at a fresh round of tears which welled up upon seeing me and then asked in a shaky voice if she could come in.

My brain was repeating the word no over and over but my mouth wasn't connected to it any longer and after saying yes, I let her pass into the foyer. Closing the door behind her, I leaned against it while she hovered near the sideboard, wringing her hands together.

We stayed like that, not speaking, for as long as she could stand it and the first words out of her mouth twisted in my heart like a knife.

"I don't…I can't leave things this way between us."

"There's nothing left to say, Steph."

Another flood of tears started but she ignored the moisture tracking down her cheeks. "I had a lot more to say but you took off before I…and will you at least let me explain why..."

"You don't owe me anything," I cut her off. "I get it, I really do. Why would you even consider it? I've never given you any indication that I wanted more from you than we already had and then out of the blue I show up telling you I'm in love with you and want you to move to Florida in two days..Who in their right mind would ever say yes to that?"

"But... you wanted me to," she said softly. I never wanted anything more in my life.

"What I want doesn't matter."

She looked like she wanted to protest the comment but instead she very astutely said, "You're…you're not coming back are you? Not even after the procedure?"

"No," I replied curtly. "I don't have a reason to." I wasn't mad at her but I knew it sounded as if I was because she flinched at my tone, like I'd slapped her across the face.

"What's the prognosis after? Will Julie be…"

"I don't know. The doctors say the success of bone marrow transplants vary from person to person. She could make a full recovery or she could…" I couldn't bring myself to finish the sentence. Thinking of losing my daughter, much like living a life without Stephanie, was something on which I did not like to dwell.

Stephanie nodded and used the back of her hand to wipe her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Ranger. I'm so sorry for what Julie is going through and you…I can't even imagine what it's like for you…and I…I'm sorry I didn't react differently when you asked me to go with you…I...you caught me off guard so I responded before I even really thought about it and then you were gone and you wouldn't answer the phone...and I can't...I don't think I can do this without you, Ranger, especially if you're not coming back. There isn't...there can't even be a me without you."

I didn't want to let myself hope but I couldn't stop it. "What are you saying, Babe?"

"I'm saying the thought of life without you makes me physically ill and I don't want you to leave, not unless you promise to come back and if you can't then I want to go with you and if you don't let me touch you right now I think I'll come right out of my skin."

I yanked her into a full body hug, wrapping my arms around her until I thought she wouldn't be able to breathe. "It was too much to ask of you, Stephanie. It was presumptuous and unfair and I should have told you how I felt a long time ago instead of springing it on you two days before I had to leave, but despite the obvious errors in judgement, the facts are the same. If you can't come with me right now, I can promise I will be back but I can't say when and it wouldn't be fair to ask you to wait."

She was shaking her head, making her hair brush across my bare chest. "I'm coming but I have to figure out what to do with my apartment and my car and I have to quit Vinnie's and say goodbye to my family...well maybe just Grandma and Dad...I can send my Mother a post card."

I felt myself smiling for the first time in weeks. "I can have Tank take care of your apartment and your car and Vinnie...I'll loan him a man for a couple of weeks until he can find a replacement and I think a postcard is too good for Helen Plum. Why don't you send her a text from the plane right before we take off?"

She tilted her head back so she could see my face and there was a smile on her lips too. "And when is that flight?"

"Tomorrow morning. Eight O'clock."

"So that gives me less than twelve hours to pack up my life here...I better get started."

She tried to wiggle out of my embrace but I wasn't having it. Now that she was here I didn't want to let her out of my sight. "We should get started. I'm in this with you, Babe. From here on out everything needs to be a joint effort or this won't work."

And it would be work, of that there was no doubt. We were essentially diving head first into a fully committed relationship, a path neither of us had ever traversed before, add in my very sick daughter and Stephanie abandoning the only life and home she'd ever known and it was a recipe for disaster but somehow I knew we'd find a way.

"Agreed," she said and lifted up on her toes to press a kiss to my lips.

How did I ever think I could make it without her?