"This is too far, Romano." Germany barked, banging a fist on the desk. "You cannot swerve onto the pavement and almost run over tens of people because the traffic lights wouldn't change quick enough!" Romano stood on the other side of the desk, opposite Germany, his arms folded, scowling. Italy stood nervously behind him.
"The lights were on red for nearly thirty seconds!" Romano growled back.
"That's not an excuse! This is my country and when you're driving around in it, you follow what I say!"
"I don't care what you say, you're not the boss of me." Romano whipped round in a diva-ish manner and made to walk out. "Only Spain can boss me around." Italy and Germany exchanged glances.
Spain sat next to Germany, frowning at Romano who stood glaring at Spain.
"Romano," Spain began "We're going to have to do something about your behaviour. You can't go on like this."
"A punishment perhaps?" Germany uttered, smiling wryly.
"Ci." Spain nodded, stroking his chin. "And I think I have just the idea." He giggled and whispered to Germany.
"What are you whispering about, you jerk bastards!"
"Perfect." Germany's smile grew. Italy watched, confused.
"What? What is? I want to know too!"
"Come here then." Spain gestured for Italy to move closer. Spain whispered in Italy's ear. Italy paused for a moment before having to contain himself with laughter. He cupped a hand to his mouth and looked to his brother who stared back, unamused and frustrated. Spain smiled and turned to Romano. "Now Romano, for your reckless behaviour, you will be sent to work in a Spanish pre-school." Romano nearly choked.
"WHAT?!"
"For a whole day." Romano grew pale and collapsed on the floor. He lifted his head and managed to utter 'You jerk bastard' before flopping back to the floor.
"Please, I'll do anything! Anything! Just don't make me go in there!" Romano screamed as Spain pushed him through the doors of the pre-school.
"You'll be fine. Just don't make the kids upset or accidentally brake their legs, OK? Have fun!" Before Romano could stop him, Spain was already speeding away from the classroom door.
"Jerk bastard." Romano muttered under his breath. He looked up. Twenty tiny children blinked in unison, all staring at him. "What are you looking at, huh!" At once, the terrified children scrambled to the nearest activity. Romano swung both hands on his hips and scanned the room. Everything seemed fine.
"Huh, what the hell Spain, this is the lamest punishment ever. These kids aren't even bad." Just as those words left his lips, Romano suddenly spotted a small, chubby kid holding up a glue stick, ready to shove it in his mouth. The man sprinted across the classroom and dived, snatching the glue stick just the boy made to chomp on it. Romano rolled to a stop and stood up. He opened the window and hurled the glue out of it. The boy watched in horror. "You're not supposed to eat the glue! Jesus." Romano sighed and passed a hand to his head. This is going to be a long day. He stopped at the front of the class and cleared his throat. "Now listen up you tiny jerk bastards, I'm in charge so you do whatever I tell you. What do you normally do in this class?" The children stared blankly at the man. One kid held up a terrible drawing of a dog.
"Un perro! Un perro! Dibuje en perro!" she squealed. Romano looked at the picture, unimpressed.
"You drew a dog. And what do you want me to do about that?"
"Mr Curly hair?" another kid asked, putting his hand up. Romano whipped round.
"What?!" he snapped.
"Can you draw us a picture?" Romano blinked.
Before he knew it, Romano was seated on a 10cm tall chair, behind an equally small desk, a pile of blank paper in front of him. All the children queued up in a line as he drew out the same picture of a dog, giving a copy to each child. The paint distributed and each child happily colouring in their picture, Romano looked around in approval. He walked around the room, silently observing each picture. Suddenly, he stopped and gasped in horror at one child's work.
"Stop! What the hell are you doing!" Romano pushed the kid out of the way, dropping to his knees and snatching the paintbrush out of his tiny hand. "You went over the line, you tiny bastard!" Yellow paint was badly applied over the outline of Romano's dog. "Ugh. Useless. I will show you how it's done!" As Romano stood up, he realised, all the other works were just as bad. Rushing over in distress, he picked up a few sheets of paper and scanned them over in disgust. "You call this art! This makes me sick-" There was a sudden outburst of laughter. Romano peered over the top of the papers to find three children wiping paint covered hands on the wall, leaving behind huge blue smears. Romano screamed and dashed over, knocking the kids away from the wall. Upon getting to his feet, he found the same kid from before had found another glue stick and had successfully stuffed it in his mouth. "What the crapola!" Romano smacked the kid's back as he began to cry, his cheeks full of glue. "I told you not to eat that!"
"Look!" a couple of kids laughed. Romano looked up. Two girls hung from the ceiling, a doll in each of their hands, drawn like swords. All the other children cheered them on. "No. No. No. No! NO!" Romano cried, leaping into the air to tear the girls down. The children moved before Romano could catch them and he plummeted face first onto the floor.
The bell rang and class was dismissed. The parents patiently waited for their children behind the school gate. All at once, the mass of tiny tots came charging out of the doors and across the playground, all screaming and laughing 'you jerk bastard! Jerk bastard!' in a squeaky and giggly imitation of Romano. The parents looked on, horrified, as they scooped up their child and left. Spain stood with his hands in his pockets, the last one left, as a weary and hunched over figure struggled out of the school entrance. Romano was out of breath and covered in streaks of multicoloured paint, his hair wild and tangled. His eyes were blood shot and wide open. Also, there was a sock on his head.
"Did you have fun?" Spain joked lightly.
"Jerk." Romano grunted as he approached him. Spain smiled and removed the sock from his head.
"You know Romano, you were just like them when you were little."
"Shut up." Romano carried on walking. Spain shook his head, still smiling, and followed after him.
"Can I get you an ice-cream on the way home?" Romano stopped.
Romano and Spain stood side by side with their ice creams. While Spain's was plain, Romano's was smothered in chocolate sauce, peppered with sprinkles and a chocolate flake stuck out of the side. He licked it vigorously, a smile on his face. Spain noticed and chuckled, turning to face him.
"You look just like a little kid, eating your ice cream like that." Romano stopped, his tongue mid-lick. His smile disappeared.
"Stupid jerk."
The end
A/N: I don't know. I saw the idea on a tumblr post and I made it a thing. It's like 1 am, I've been on the internet for too long, I'm not sure what to think! But if you'd like to share your opinion of this insanity, I'd be super happy to hear! :3