Headsman's Axe

"Janet Kosigan's daughter Amy just had a little boy, you aren't getting any younger, why can't you settle down and marry Joe ..." Helen started in on Steph, both standing in the kitchen in the timeless harness of washing and drying the dinner dishes.

Helen jumped as Steph slammed a large wooden salad bowl down onto the countertop.

"Mom, stop. Just stop. I know how old I am and the eternal litany of who's daughter is getting married, or having a baby is never going to work. I don't care how old I am, I don't *want* to get married, and I am *not* changing jobs. That is final."

But..." started Helen.

"No. And you know what else?" Steph leaned in towards Helen with an evil glint in her eye.

"What? " Helen said tentatively, looking worried.

"Remember right after I caught Dickie and that skank and threw them out and filed for divorce? Mary Lou and I went to Disney for the week after she won the trip for two?

"Yes..."

"Well the first day there I had a lot of stomach pain and went to see a doctor. That bastard got me pregnant with an ectopic pregnancy. He operated and had to remove my left ovary and tube and while he was in there I had him take out the right tube as well. I *told* you there would *never* be any kids. Now this is the end of the matter."

Steph picked up her keys and purse and firmly walked out the door leaving a stunned and speechless Helen standing with her hands dripping soapy water.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I have never been happy with how sloppy Steph seems to be in many fics with her birth control. Since Steph still has one ovary, her hormones are pumping out like normal, and in a pinch she could do the whole in vitro fertilization shuffle if she did ever want a kid.