The bolded, italicized headers are the contents of the Tumblr text post I based this on.

Date someone who will tap your butt playfully and do the dishes with you after dinner.

"Oh God, I ate way too much," Blaine groaned. He leaned back against the couch, where they'd chosen to have dinner that night so they could keep watching 100 Greatest One-Hit Wonders on VH1, and placed a hand over his belly like an expectant mother.

"You and me both," Kurt said, rubbing over his stomach. "But that pizza you made, fuck, Blaine. I don't even like mushrooms normally, how did you get them to taste so good tonight?"

"It's my magic hands," Blaine teased, winking at Kurt. "They give a mean massage, tickle the ivories, and make sure everything I cook comes out delicious."

"That souffle you ruined a couple weeks ago begs to differ," Kurt fired back. He got up to grab their plates and cups, bending over their low coffee table to do so. As he leaned in, he felt a sting against his ass. "Hey!"

"That was for insulting my cooking skills!" Blaine said, putting on a fake frown so large it scrunched his eyebrows together. "Just for that, you have to do the dishes."

"I was already going to do the dishes, dummy," Kurt said, rolling his eyes. "It's my turn."

"Shhhhh," Blaine said, shaking his head. "Now it's my vengeance."

Kurt snorted. "You're truly a master of punishment. Making me wash all of two plates, two glasses, a pizza pan, and a spoon is absolutely cruel and unusual."

"I thought it was kind of harsh, but I'm sure you can handle it," Blaine replied.

"I'll do my best," Kurt said. As he walked away, he dropped his arms and staggered, acting like the weight of the dishes was too much to bear and making Blaine snicker behind him. Before he'd even finished rinsing the first plate, Blaine came up next to him and snagged the dish towel off his shoulder.

"Here, I'll dry," he said, smiling gently.

"What happened to vengeance?" Kurt said, handing over the blue ceramic plate with a smile of his own.

"It's not as fun as flicking soap bubbles at you while I wait for another dish to dry," Blaine said as he toweled off the plate. "Plus, I was kind of wondering…."

"Wondering?" Kurt prompted.

"Well, I said 'just desserts,' and now I really want to hit that gelato shop down the street," Blaine said, a little bashful. "So I was hoping you might feel the s-"

"Oh God yes," Kurt interrupted, grabbing the next dish and trying to wash it as fast as humanly possible. "Their cappuccino flavor is just so good."

"I knew I married you for a reason," Blaine said fervently.

"Back at you, sweetie," Kurt said, practically throwing the next plate at him. "Now hurry up! I don't want to walk back in the dark, they haven't fixed that streetlight yet."

"Bossy," Blaine muttered, but he couldn't keep the smile off his face.

Date someone who knows the power of running their hands through your hair.

Kurt could tell he looked bad when Blaine's face fell the instant he walked into their bathroom.

"Oh, honey," Blaine said from the doorway, low and soothing.

"I'm fine, Blaine!" Kurt said, stubborn to the last. "I just need to get some coffee in me, perk up a little."

"Uh, no, the last thing you need is coffee," Blaine said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Not after you spent all of last night puking your guts out."

"It was just some twelve-hour bug, it's probably already out of my system," Kurt said. He reached for his hairspray, already mentally dreading the effort of lifting his arms but determined to get to work that day. He had to put the finishing touches on those brooches so they'd be ready for QVC by Friday.

"Or it was bad shrimp from that Thai place, and you need to stay home to make sure you can actually keep food down today," Blaine said resolutely. He walked over to Kurt and started rubbing a hand down his back. "C'mon, babe."

"But the jewelry line-"

"-Will keep. Rosalie can handle narrowing down the packaging contenders by herself, and you can finish up the line tomorrow. It's only Tuesday, Kurt," Blaine said. He moved his hand up to the back of Kurt's head, making Kurt melt.

"Not fair, Blaine, you know that's my weak spot," Kurt said, hoping he didn't sound quite as whiny as he felt.

"I can give you a better head rub if you go lay down again," Blaine offered, voice a tantalizing croon. He kept massaging over Kurt's head and neck relentlessly.

"Fine. Fine. You win, I'll go back to bed," Kurt said huffily. "Don't think I won't remember this next time you're sick and trying to go somewhere."

"I expect nothing less," Blaine said, wrapping a warm arm around Kurt's waist and helping him back to their bedroom, where the massage continued until Kurt fell asleep.

He woke up a few hours later, refreshed and ravenous. Thankfully, Blaine had prepared for that - there was a take-out container of soup waiting on the kitchen island and a note promising to be back as soon as possible after his songwriting session that day.

Sometimes Kurt had to appreciate his husband's tenacity.

(Other times, he cursed his husband's stupid desire to go to work with a hundred degree fever. Blaine was just as susceptible to head rubs as he was, though, making it fairly easy to convince him to go lay on the couch and let Kurt take care of him that day.)

Date someone who wants you to succeed as much as they want their own success.

"Kurt! Kurt, I have amazing news," Blaine yelled from the apartment doorway.

"Is it as amazing as my amazing news?" Kurt replied, walking in from their bedroom.

"I can only hope so," Blaine said, dropping his messenger bag by his shoes and practically running over to Kurt. "I landed an audition for that revival of Hairspray!"

"Blaine! That is amazing, oh my God!" Kurt said, bouncing excitedly. "Congratulations!"

"What's your news?" Blaine asked, eyes sparkling with happiness and curiosity.

"A few of the people at Macy's got in touch with me. They want to discuss getting Hummel Brag into their stores nationwide!" Kurt said, clapping his hands in delight.

"Baby, that's awesome!" Blaine said, leaning in for a quick kiss. "Wow, everything's really working out for us."

"I can't believe it," Kurt said, shaking his head. "Okay, when's your audition? I wanna be there for moral support."

"And I want to do the same for your meeting," Blaine said. "My audition's May fifteenth."

Kurt couldn't help but freeze up. "So's my meeting."

"Oh," Blaine said, looking a little dejected. "That's...unfortunate. But not the worst thing that could happen."

"It's not what I'd've chosen," Kurt said. "But it's not like we tried to get in each other's way."

"Hey, it's not like either of us has to be at the other's event," Blaine said. "We're not in each other's way at all. We'll just have to have a really nice breakfast that day for good luck instead."

"Oooh, we can go to that crêperie by Central Park!" Kurt said, regaining some of his excitement.

"Yes!" Blaine said, smiling broadly. "God, I hope they want to sell your line. You deserve every possible success, Kurt."

"What, and you don't?" Kurt replied. "You're going to nail that audition, B. They'll offer you the role almost before you start singing."

"Let's make a reservation somewhere nice for dinner, too," Blaine said. "One of us is bound to come out on top that day, and even if it's not me, I'll be just as happy celebrating you."

"I'll be happy to celebrate you, too," Kurt said, leaning in for another kiss. "But let's hope we both get what we want, okay? That would be the ideal outcome."

"I'd be okay with that, too," Blaine teased.

Date someone who knows how you take your coffee and what cheers you up.

"Hey, you," Blaine said, sliding into the seat across from Kurt and pushing a steaming cup of coffee at him. "Bad day?"

"Ugh, it was going okay until the last hour or so of rehearsal," Kurt said, taking a sip and sighing in appreciation - Blaine had gotten him his favorite, a mocha with one pump of white chocolate and one pump of regular. "Then I kept missing turns and nearly dropping Janie. I just lost my focus, you know? And of course I got reamed for it."

"I'm sorry, Kurt," Blaine said, reaching out to rub Kurt's free hand where it lay on the table. "That's really the worst."

"I'm not looking forward to going back in an hour, that's for sure," Kurt said. "How's your day been?"

"Nothing unusual," Blaine said lightly. "Went to the gym, put my name in for the Wicked lottery and won, got a haircut…."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up," Kurt said, stunned. "You did what?"

"Got a haircut. Can't you see how much more volume my hair has since they didn't gel it back down properly?" Blaine teased.

"Not that, you asshole, the Wicked lottery," Kurt said, rolling his eyes at Blaine's antics. "You won tickets?"

"We'll go pick 'em up after you get out of rehearsal!" Blaine confirmed with a smile. "I was just going to surprise you then, but you definitely needed the pick-me-up now."

"But why did you even put in for it in the first place?" Kurt asked. "I mean, it's just a random Thursday."

"I decided to swing down that way this morning and felt like doing it," Blaine said, shrugging. "Besides, who says we can't make an event out of a random Thursday?"

"You know I wouldn't stop you," Kurt said. "Oh my God, Blaine! How am I supposed to get through two more hours of rehearsal when I know I'm going to see Wicked afterwards?"

"Hey, I solved one dilemma for you, I'm not a miracle worker," Blaine said, holding up his hands and laughing. "Somehow I think you'll get through it, though. You're the most driven person I know - except for maybe Rachel."

"I can be second to Rachel. After all, I didn't stalk our dean until she let me reaudition for NYADA," Kurt said, smirking. "But thanks for the compliment."

"Any time," Blaine said, leaning in and kissing Kurt's cheek with an audible mwah! "Mind staying here for a second? I need to use the facilities."

"No, I'd rather you peed on the floor," Kurt said, deadpan.

Blaine just waved a hand at him and left, allowing Kurt some time to sip his coffee and simmer in excitement for that evening. Somehow, Blaine always knew exactly how to cheer him up.

(The fresh-baked scone he found in his coat pocket when he arrived back at the studio made his mood perk up again, too. One day he'd figure out how Blaine snuck little encouragements and treats into his things, but that day, he'd settle for scarfing down the cinnamon-y goodness during breaks and smiling.)

Date someone you can be independent from but still look forward to reuniting with.

Kurt had never expected to be a guy who was attached at the hip to his significant other, and his actual experiences dating hadn't disappointed him there. He loved spending time with Blaine, yes, but he also wasn't going to curl up and mope if Blaine couldn't be with him every second of the day. True, he'd prefer to have Blaine by his side for bigger trips and/or occasions, but he wasn't going to back out on a commitment just because his husband couldn't be there by his side.

Thus, Kurt had set off for Ohio alone, having promised his dad and Carole that he'd come visit and Sam that he'd stop by to help with his lesson on stage presence. His trip fell right in the middle of tech for Blaine's show, inhibiting him from coming along, which Kurt really regretted when his flight hit some turbulence and he thought he saw the bright light coming for him.

Luckily, he landed safe and sound, if a little shaken, and spent a lovely week with his family. He even got to know a few of Sam's kids better than he'd expected, giving those select few his email in case they wanted to go college scouting in New York so they could have a safe place to crash. Before he knew it, he was packing up to head back to Manhattan, sad to be leaving his dad but eager to catch up with Blaine - they'd barely been in contact that week, as Blaine was so drained from rehearsal that it was all he could do to get home safe every night.

"Kid, you're about to screw up the suspension on my car if you keep bouncing like that," Burt said on the way to the airport.

"I'm sorry, Dad," Kurt said, consciously trying to keep still. "It was great seeing you and Carole, you know that, but I also kind of missed Blaine."

"I get it," Burt said. "You think I didn't miss all of you guys when I was away for Congressional sessions? I just don't want you to get hauled away for extra scanning by the TSA because they think you're on drugs."

"Oh, are you speaking from experience?" Kurt teased.

"I'm not saying either way," Burt said. "I just want to warn you in case the drug-sniffing dog pees on your Louis Chanel suitcase."

"That's not - oh God, does that happen?" Kurt said, his horror at the thought of pee on his suitcase overcoming his desire to correct his father's lack of designer knowledge.

"You'd be surprised," Burt said.

Kurt was on his best behavior until his plane touched down in New York, when he started getting fidgety again at the thought of just how close Blaine was. He had to keep himself from running through security and shoving people out of the way at the luggage carousel, impatient to see his husband and make sure he'd been taking care of himself during his stressful week.

Finally, finally, he had his baggage and could devote himself to finding Blaine. He scanned the crowd, looking for the familiar shine of gel.

"Kurt!" Blaine called, off to Kurt's right. "Kurt!"

Kurt walked as fast as he could over to Blaine, not wanting to run - this was not a cheesy romance movie, and he'd only been gone for a week, not a year. Still, he moved quicker than may have been strictly normal. "Blaine!"

Blaine let out a quiet "Oof!" as Kurt pulled him in for an enthusiastic hug. "Hi, baby. I missed you."

"I missed you, too," Kurt said, a little muffled from Blaine's hair. "Sam may have been more disappointed than I was that you couldn't come along, though."

"I'm surprised he didn't stow away in your luggage," Blaine said, laughing. "Or did the TSA catch him before you left Ohio?"

"He's probably on his way to jail as we speak," Kurt teased, laughing along with Blaine. He felt a little giddy now that he had Blaine back in his arms. "You'll be his one phone call, I'm sure."

"I think I'm going to need some lunch before I can handle bailing him out," Blaine said, breaking away but linking his arm with Kurt's free one instead, clearly not willing to stray too far. "Are you hungry?"

"Starved," Kurt said as they headed out of the airport. "And I want to make sure you're eating right, since you open tomorrow! Are you sure it was okay that you came and got me today? I could've taken a cab alone, or-"

"-Babe, my director would've driven me here herself if she had to. All I talked about yesterday was how excited I was for you to get home," Blaine said, stepping onto the curb and flagging down the first free cab they saw. "I'm free until six pm, and I am not to talk about you at rehearsal today unless it is one hundred percent relevant to the topic."

"So you didn't miss me much," Kurt teased.

"Not at all. You really had to come back so soon?" Blaine said, playing along.

"I could always go back," Kurt said, making like he was going to go back in the building.

"Don't you dare," Blaine said, snagging him around the waist and planting a kiss on him. "Not that I couldn't function without you, but I'm always happier when you're here."

"The feeling's mutual," Kurt said, stepping away to open the cab door for Blaine. "So let's go home."

"Let's."