I decided to take my own challenge here. I was surprised nobody took it at all. I mean it was rife with all sorts of possible silliness.

Name of challenge: The Best Man's Job.

Name of challenger: Scott the Wanderer

Pairings/characters: Harry/Tonks, Harry/Fleur or Harry/Tonks/Fleur

Summary:

Remus and/or Bill ask Harry to be the Best Man at their wedding. (If both it is a double wedding.) The catch is Harry doesn't realize that the Best Man's function is actually important in the Wizarding world. If the Groom is unable to marry the bride (for any reason) the Best Man has to marry the Bride instead. It's why only unmarried and uninvolved men act as Best Man in the Wizarding World. Well as Fate is wont to do, the groom(s) are unable to make the ceremony (still drunk from the Stag Night, waylaid by Death Eaters, runs like a coward. whatever floats your boat). Now Harry is bound by his acceptance of being Best Man to marry Tonks and/or Fleur. Initially, nobody is happy about this.

I have decided on a Harry/Tonks/Fleur mix, the two ladies having become best friends.

I do not own Harry Potter and I make no money from this.

"You know you two need a Best Man pretty soon if you are going to keep the wedding date." Ginevra Weasley had a plan. She had a great devious plan. "You need someone that Fleur and Tonks respects and is still single."

"I was thinking of asking Harry." Remus stroked his chin as he considered the options. He had agreed to marry Tonks, but the death of her father had delayed that wedding. With Fleur and his fiancé having become best friends, the joint wedding ceremony had been born. "He is about the only friend I have that Tonks likes, let alone respects. Well single friend anyways."

"Well, after Charlie embarrassed himself at Christmas, I can pretty much can cross him off the list. Fleur was not amused to be mooned." Bill sighed as he looked over his list for friends. If they were respectable and male they were married. That precluded any of them from position. "I'm left with Harry, too. Especially after the Twins created those Daydreams with Fleur in her bathing suit from the second task."

"Oh, I am betting Fleur had great big fire balls for those two." Ginny grinned at the thought. She might have helped her mother in giving the Veela a hard time, but really she didn't mind Fleur. Well, not too much.

"She thought it was funny, then demanded twenty five percent of the gross and then told me there was no way in Hell they could be Best Man." Bill chuckled. "She also vetoed Percy and Ron. Percy because he is a git and Ron because Fleur respects Hermione too much...among other things."

"So looks like you two need to share the Best Man." Ginny found it nearly impossible to resist the evil laughter that welled up inside of her. Instead of breaking a rib trying to hold it too long, she left and cast a quick muffliato so could satisfy the urge. "Now on to phase two."

"Okay, you have made me banana bread with chocolate chips, got me an authentic set of World War II British Army Boots and you cleaned my apartment." Nymphadora Tonks eyed the youngest Weasley. "What are you buttering me up for?"

"Well, I heard that Fleur is your best friend and you can't exactly name her your Maid of Honor…" Ginny trailed off letting it hang there, but with Tonks didn't pick it up she sighed. "Remus is making Harry his Best Man, I just want one dance with him before Gabrielle tries to steal him for the evening. That girl has a serious case of hero worship ad even I can't resist her puppy dog eyes."

"Was that so bloody hard?" Tonks asked with a roll of her eyes. "Well, you are really my only choice. Hestia thinks I am nutty for wanting Remus. She keeps suggesting Harry of all people. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy but not like that."

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. You are the best." Ginny wrapped Tonks in an almost bone crushing bear hug. "I am so naming one of my kids after you."

"You would name a girl Nymphadora?" Tonks' eyes grew to saucer width in nothing flat.

"Actually, was thinking of calling a boy Tonks." Ginny replied.

Ginny Weasley had a plan, a most beautiful, wonderful and inspired plan. She was going to marry Harry Potter and there wasn't a thing anyone could do to stop it. Ginny knew that Harry had no idea about the intricate rituals and bindings involved in a Traditional Magical Wedding. She was going to use his ignorance against him. When he accepted being Remus' best man he was binding himself to marry in Remus' place if somehow the werewolf did not make it to the wedding in time. As Maid of Honor, Ginny was would be bound to marry in Tonks' place should the metamorphmagus not be able to. Ginny was going to make damned sure than neither Remus nor Tonks was anywhere remotely near the site of the ceremony. Then Harry Potter would be hers, all hers.

"Would you stop giggling like that, Ginny, it is very creepy." Gabrielle Delacour groused at her temporary roommate. The young Veela was cursing the fact she could not sleep with her sister during her stay in the burrow. She did take comfort in that at least her maman was enforcing the three month chastity period before the wedding. Gabrielle loved her sister dearly, but did not understand her taste in men. She could have had Harry Potter and she settles for William Weasley? It boggled Gabrielle's imagination. William was nothing like the Knights from the story books. Whereas Harry Potter was even better than the books had described. Oh, that she could open Fleur's eyes and make her marry Harry, life would be so much better. Part of that life being better was that Gabrielle would never have to be related to Ginny Weasely. The older girl just set her teeth on edge. "Just why are so giggly anyways? I heard Harry Potter had broken up with you. Sure it was to protect you, but I would think you would be broken hearted."

"Oh, I hadn't realized everyone heard that silly rumor." Ginny huffed her giggly mood gone for a moment before it returned. "I'm just happy Tonks chose me as Maid of Honor."

"Oh, well I supposed I would have been giggly if I was chosen as Maid of Honor." Gabrielle sighed. In her mind she actually thought on how she would rather just keel over dead than suffer the remote possibility of marrying Bill. Oh she didn't hate the man. She just didn't think he was marriage material. "I know Cho Chang is pretty giggly about it."

"Wait, that slag Cho Chang is Fleur's Maid of Honor?" Ginny nearly shrieked before a somewhat evil look passed over her face. "It's okay, she won't get her claws on Harry at all. He'll be all mine."

"Well, alright then. I am off to bed." Gabrielle knew when to make a retreat from the crazy person and this was definitely it.

Gabrielle was a very intelligent young woman. Like her sister, Gabrielle was continuously at the top of her class with barely any effort. As she lay in bed staring at a ceiling that was plastered with Harry Potter posters her mind was going over her earlier conversation with Ginny. Something was seriously wrong. She needed to investigate.

Hitting Ginny with a powerful sleep charm, Gabrielle started searching around for the older girl's diary. That had taken quite some effort, as the older girl had hidden it well. Finally after looking behind a shelf that held a collection of Harry Hotter bodice rippers, Gabrielle hit pay dirt. She found a diary, several potions and what appeared to be the wedding torcs that Bill, Remus, Tonks and Fleur were to wear on their wedding day. Mixed in with all of this were copies of the latest wedding plans.

For a moment, Gabrielle wondered if the older girl was just fixated on the perfect wedding. Opening the diary and reading, she learned that was not the case at all. Reading the entries in the diary gave a much different view of Ginny. One that Gabrielle could not help but feel sorry for. Then there was the plan that Ginny had concocted and Gabrielle knew she had to act. A wiser girl would have taken the evidence to an adult, but Gabrielle had a very different idea.

"We have a very serious problem." Arthur Weasley was at wits end at the moment. The morning had gone smoothly. Molly had reported the Brides were being fitted for their dresses and Arthur was happy to announce both grooms were not hung over. He'd enjoyed a breakfast with both Bill and Lupin before sending them off to get ready. Now, they were missing. "We have a potential disaster."

"Dear, I left out the bowl of fried chicken specifically so Ronald could graze on it without spoiling the buffet." Molly Weasley was on top of her game. This was the first wedding among her children and she was going the extra mile to make sure it was perfect. Already the two brides looked like fairy princesses, not that it was hard considering the canvas to be worked with. Either girl would make a burlap sack look amazing. "Just keep him from wiping his hands on the tablecloths."

"No, Ron is a little too preoccupied to be eating at the moment." Arthur said firmly.

"But, I just came from helping Hermione with her Bridesmaid dress." Molly frowned heavily.

"Our younger sons are combing the area looking for William and Remus." Arthur whispered, wishing for all the world he was dreaming and this would wake him up from the nightmare. "They'd been missing an hour. I checked the clock, but Bill's hand is showing Travelling. Harry tried Hermione's Point Me spell, but they are not in his range."

"Arthur, Harry's range is all the way to the Delacour house in Southern France. If Bill or Remus is not in his range…no…no…they must be hiding, pulling some sort of prank." Molly shook her head trying denial. "Watch, they will pop right out, just in time for the ceremony."

"Dad, Bill is on the Floo!" Charlie Weasley skidded to a halt after he ran up three flights of stairs. He had always been terrible at apparating and didn't trust himself to try it in his frantic state. "Remus too."

"Thank Merlin." Arthur turned on the spot and was in the kitchen. He had to face the fireplace, but was ever so happy to see his son's head there. "William, we have spent the last hour looking for you. Come on through."

"That's not an option, Dad." Bill sighed heavily. "And hour ago we were hit by a portkey that deposited us in a sticky situation."

"Just how sticky a situation?"

"Well, Arthur, we appeared in the Harem Chambers of Sultan Amahallan of Iraq." Remus's head appeared in the fire as well, obviously from a party line Floo connection. "Normally we would have been castrated and killed, but we foiled an assassination attempt with our sudden appearance."

"Well, tell him that you consider the debt paid in full by being allowed to live and come home. You have two hours before you are to be married." Arthur said with no small amount of heat.

"It's not as simple as that. Their law is very clear. The only males allowed to enter or leave the Harem are the Sultan's in-laws." Remus sighed in frustration. "We've been married for the last forty five minutes. We were only allowed to make this Fire Call because we have publically consummated our marriages."

"Tell Harry that we are really, really sorry for not preparing him for what's about to happen." Bill's tone was very clear on just how repentant he was. "The Sultan wishes to apologize as well for his part in this."

"And what do I tell Fleur and Tonks?" Arthur's brow was knitted in worry over the two ladies reaction. "You realize they might want to track you down and murder you."

"We figured as much." Bill said shaking his head. "Tell them…"

"Tell us what?" Tonks and Fleur may have not practiced the art of speaking in unison, but at that moment they pulled it off perfectly.

"Ginny, are you okay in there?" Hermione Granger waved her hand in front of the younger redhead's face. As before the girl barely responded with more than a smile. "Mrs. Weasley, I think Ginny is under the influence."

"How many times must I tell you to call me Molly." Molly Weasley playfully chided her youngest son's intended. "Ginny had to be given a calming draught and several cheering charms after she was told the news. She was quite despondent over her Brother just disappearing at the same time as Remus. She kept ranting about the unfairness of it all."

"Well, it is unfair to Fleur and Tonk and certainly a bit to Harry as well." Hermione shrugged. "Should we get a different Maid of Honor for the Ceremony?"

"Oh, it is much too late for that Hermione." Molly sighed. "We only have one hour and forty minutes to complete the rituals or the backlash will occur. I have no desire to see if the ancient legends about Pompeii are actually true."

"Well she only has to stand there. Cho can handle the rest I imagine." Hermione shrugged. "Though who does the Best Man's portion of the Ceremony if Harry is the groom now?"

"Harry has to perform both parts, or in this case all three." Molly sighed as she did not like thinking about the last time it had happened. Poor Fabian had been so heartbroken over losing Bellatrix to Rudy because of betrayal. "It makes divorce impossible, no matter the circumstances. On the bright side, Harry will never be tempted to stray."

"Not that he would ever follow temptation." Hermione shook her head. "Who's breaking the news to him?"

"I believe Ronald drew the short straw there." Molly said with a shake of her head.

"Oh dear, this will not end well, will it?"

"Alright Harry, you Lucky Bastard, I have Good News, Great News, and Amazing News." Ronald Weasley for once was not actually jealous of Harry Potter. Nope, he was too firmly in love with Hermione Granger to actually be jealous. If it had been Hermione that Harry was being forced to marry, Ron was sure he would be close to committing mass murder, but it wasn't so for once in his life he was not jealous of the golden egg that just fell out of Harry's arse. The cheering charm the Twins cast on him might have helped a bit. "First the good news: we found Bill and Remus."

"Oh thank Merlin. I was really beginning to get worried." Harry sighed in relief. He had been half afraid that somehow Death Eaters had killed Remus and Bill. Remus was what he believed an Uncle should be and Bill was definitely the cool older brother. "Okay, what is the Great News."

"Well, the Great News is despite having fallen into a Sultan's Harem Chambers they get to keep their bollocks." Ron said with chuckle. "The Amazing news is to do that they had to marry the Sultan's daughters so you have to marry Fleur and Tonks."

"WHAT?"

"I know right! Two of the three hottest women in the world and you are marrying them." Ron clapped an almost catatonic Harry on the back. "I mean it's what the Best Man does in Traditional Wizarding Weddings, they Marry the Bride if the Groom is for some reason unable to. Since a married man can't go through the rituals obviously Bill and Remus can't marry Fleur and Tonks."

"WHAT?"

"It all has to do with how the Wedding Ritual works. If the Ritual isn't completed the magical cores of the participants explode. According to legend the last time that happened was Pompeii." Ronald continued unaware that Harry was not taking this half as well as he was. "They tried to change the ritual, but that led to Slave Bonds and House Elves."

"House Elves?"

"Yes, those who did the altered rituals evolved over a few hundred years into House Elves. So the new rituals were dropped completely and Wizards went back to the old ones." Ron explained as if it was common knowledge. And truthfully it was to PureBloods around the world. "But enough about that. We need to get you out there and get the ceremony going. Just be thankful they don't do public consummations anymore. Merlin knows if they did pictures of yours would be all over the Daily Prophet. Then people would wonder if you're part Minotaur."

"When I find the cochon that whisked our grooms away I will burn them to ash." Fleur was just barely keeping herself from transforming. Her hands were smoking which made her thankful that her dress was of Veela design. "This is unforgivable. Not just what they have done to us, but what they have done to 'Arry."

"No disagreement there." Nymphadora Tonks wished she could grab a bottle of Fire Whiskey and drain it dry, however being drunk at your own wedding was in poor taste. Not to mention her mother would flay her alive. "Well, we definitely know it wasn't him. Neither Bill nor Remus told him what his duties were. Even if they did, not his style, especially if what Cho says about him is true."

"Bah, I do not want to think about who could have done this. I will only stay angry if I do." Fleur stopped pacing in the kitchen and leaned against the table. "You realize we will be married to each other as much as were are 'Arry. That this ritual will make us more sexually comfortable together."

"Yeah, I realize that we will likely be fooling around with each other as much as we will with Harry." Tonks really wanted a drink at this point. "Luckily, I am already bisexual, so not a huge change for me. I just prefer stick."

"Oui, same here. I had much girl-girl experience, but I was technically a virgin until the Yule ball." Fleur snorted daintily. "By some definitions I was still one after. Poor Roger was very affected by my Allure, like most men. He barely got tip inside, which is better than most men as they cannot even last through a kiss."

"Merlin I hope it was at least a little better with Bill." Tonks shuddered. She understood that Veela Allure made most men into minute men, but that was ridiculous. "Because I can tell you, Remus could go for an hour. Sure it would only be once a night maybe twice, but it was definitely mind-blowing."

"Oui, Bill was good for ten minutes. More than enough time to 'ring the bell' as he put it." Fleur smiled warmly. "Maman was jealous. It takes numbing cream and Viagra for my father to last that long."

"So we are going from possibly the best sex we ever had to…well…an inexperienced hormonal teenager." Tonks began massaging her temples. "Well, at least I never threw out my toys."

"Well, if he is half as resistant to the Allure as Bill then I am sure I will be ahead of most Veela."

Gabrielle was having the best day of her life. She was not going to be related to the creepy ginger girl. She did not have a problem with the Twins or strangely with Ronald. It was only Ginny she wanted to avoid calling an in-law. Well, Bill as well, but only because her sister could do so much better. And now with a little meddling Fleur was marrying Harry Potter and Nymphadora Tonks. The only way it could have gone better is if she could find a way to be related to Luna. Perhaps she could convince Harry to adopt the girl as a sister. The young Veela was in the middle of making more plans when she came across a moping Harry Potter.

"Ah, 'Arry, what are you doing out here alone?" Gabrielle sat on the bench next to her hero."The wedding will be starting in ten minutes, no?"

"Oh, Gabrielle. I guess you haven't heard." Harry looked up from his shoes into the young girl's eyes. He always did that with both Gabrielle and Fleur, something he did not know pleased them very much. "Bill and Remus won't be here."

"Hmm, then this means you will be my brother, no?" Gabrielle knew when to play innocent. She had a lot of practice over the years. "You will be marrying Fleur and Tonks?"

"Yeah, I just learned that little tidbit a few minutes ago." Harry shook his head as he was trying to wrap his mind around what Ron had told him. "I mean...Look, all I thought I was supposed to do was stand there, hand over some rings, and try not to make a speech that would get my bits hexed off by an angry bride."

"Ah, you only knew of Muggle Weddings." Gabrielle nodded as she deciphered the problem. "They should have told you earlier."

"Yes, and it's not fair to Fleur and Tonks." Harry almost growled. "They don't get to marry the men they love and end up marrying a little boy who probably only tolerate. it must be such a disappointment. There had to be better choices, actual men even."

"Oh merde. Now I see the problem." Gabrielle shook her head as she grabbed Harry's chin so he could not look away. "The Bride has a huge say in who is chosen as Best Man. In fact most Grooms treat the Bride's say as veto power. Of all the people Bill and Remus knew there was only one person Fleur and Tonks saw as an acceptable replacement. That was you."

"That helps this much." Harry put thumb and forefinger a quarter inch apart. "They are still being forced to marry me instead of them."

"Oui, and it is up to you to make certain that in the long run they consider themselves the luckiest Witches on the planet." Gabrielle countered. "You cannot do that by sitting out here and moping."

"You're right, Gabrielle. Thank you." Harry smiled as he hugged the young girl. "Do me a favor as my sister in law? If you see me moping again, give my arse a little kick."

"That I can do. Though it might be a fireball instead."

Despite the pep talk from Gabrielle, Harry was still just as nervous as any groom waiting at the altar. He hadn't been this nervous when he was waiting to face the dragon in the Tournament. Of course if he screwed up back then it would only kill him. If he messed this up, he would likely wish for death long before it came. He liked and respected both Fleur and Tonks, but he knew when crossed either one of them could easily outdo Voldemort in the tortures they would bring to bear.

"{Ah. A much better choice that Fleur's first intended. No drooling.}" Doreen Desirae Delacour, Fleur's paternal grandmother had been honored to perform the bonding ceremony. Of course not many people realized that the young looking Priestess was actually nearing her sixties. She could have passed as Fleur's older sister much like her Daughter in Law could. Of course being Veela like almost all the women on both sides of Fleur's family helped in that regard. "{"Much more age appropriate for Nymphadora as well.}"

"{I thought so as well. Not that Professor Remus wasn't delicious in his own way.}" Cho Chang took great delight in the surprised look on Doreen's face as she spoke fluent French. "{My mother had a saying. 'Ah, the language barrier. Sometimes the only way to bring it down is throw panties at it.' I wanted to learn French so I got in your granddaughters panties to do so.}"

"{I will have to use that saying from time to time.}" Doreen chuckled softly. "{I had heard you and my new Grandson-in-law were once an item. Is he any good in bed?}"

"{I honestly wish I knew. I was an emotional mess at the time thanks to so misbrewed potions.}" Cho responded completely straight faced. "{I did hear from Katie Bell that he is hung like a…}"

"You both should know that while I can't speak it without a horrible accent, I understand French perfectly." Harry interrupted Cho before she could finish. Seeing Cho blush and Doreen smile even wider, Harry just shook his head in amusement. "I also learned Mandarin and Hindi. So switching languages may not work."

"Sorry Harry, I couldn't resist." Cho appeared as contrite as she sounded, which was not really all the much. "I my defense I was only going to say good things."

"I know, but I would have ended up blushing so hard I pass out." Harry explain. "Then we'd be in worse trouble. Besides, Madame Delacour, I really don't think I am a better prospect than Bill Weasley. Fleur loves him and if not for some cosmic prank she would be promising herself to him today. That she has to settle for a specky git that she find completely unattractive must be a living hell for her. I will not make it any worse by even entertaining he the notion that I am somehow a suitable replacement."

"Well in this you might be partially correct but you are most definitely partially wrong." Doreen just offered a grandmotherly smile, which seemed out of place on her far too young looking visage. As she was about to elaborate the bridal march began. "Ah, I will have to wait to explain."

Whatever response Harry had was immediately banished from his mind. He had known both women were beautiful. Despite being absent from Hogwarts they were a frequent topic among the lads. Usually it was Fleur in her swimsuit or Tonks in her every day wear, Harry had been of the opinion that Fleur had looked more stunning at the Yule Ball and Tonks in her Auror Dress robes. The sight he saw now, put those to shame.

Fleur was in a silver white gown emblazoned with twin phoenixes facing each other, the feathers of their wings and tails forming the trailing skirt of the gown. Gemstones were woven into her hair instead of the traditional veil. There was only a hint of sadness in her expression, but that only seemed to enhance her ethereal beauty.

Not to be outdone, Tonks was in a pure white gown with a sweetheart neckline with a similar set of phoenixes in tiny gemstones. Her pink tresses were teased into an elaborate updo. She wore a traditional lace veil to complete the stunning look. Like Fleur she was not as happy as the occasion should have been, but it did not mar her beauty at all.

For a few moments Harry forgot just why he was standin by the altar. He was too busy wondering how in the world he rated marrying these two goddess. Luckily his usual habit of saying these things out loud when he was stunned, did not kick in.

"{Ah, there is the drool.}" Doreen chuckled softly before the two brides joined Harry at the Altar. Clearing her throat she applied a mild sonorous charm and began the ceremony. "Family and Friends we are gathered together this day to witness one the Blessing of the Goddesses: the Binding of Harry James Potter, Fleur Isabelle Delacour and Nymphadora Venus Tonks in the state of Holy Matrimony. Today's union is a Blessed event make no mistake. Fleur and Nymphadora may have originally planned to marry other men, but the Fates changed this plan. Instead, Harry, chosen by both would be suitors as the Man they trusted most, is to be the groom in this marriage."

"Do not make the mistake in thinking that these three are strangers. Fleur and Harry were Champions for their Schools in the TriWizard Tournament together. An event that saw them become friends when Harry saved little Gabrielle from the Black Lake along with his own hostage Ronald. When offered a reward he simply said: It's nothing special, anyone would have done the same." Doreen smiled warmly as she recounted the story. "As for Nymphadora and Fleur, the two ladies became fast friends when they joined the Order of the Phoenix. In fact I am told they are largely inseparable outside of their work or missions and they are practically sisters in all but blood." Pausing to catch a quick breath Doreen continued. "Harry and Nymphadora first met when Harry was but a few hours old. It was lamented more than once that Harry sometimes preferred her to his own father, James Potter. Alas they were separated far too young for Harry to remember, but Fate was again kind and they met years later becoming friends practically at first sight. I have blessed happy couples that have had less of a connection than these three. So I can only foresee happiness for them."

"Marriage for those of us blessed with magic is more than just vows uttered and pretty words on paper. The Goddesses have blessed us with the ability to truly join as one. Our bodies become attuned to the needs of our spouse. Our souls learn to anticipate the desires of our bonded. And most amazingly our magic pools with our mate so we are stronger together." Doreen smiled as widely as she expounded on the blessing of marriage. "As with all things there is a cost, but to spouses who share love it seems another blessing. There is nothing that can come between those who partake of the Goddesses' blessing. Once the vows are made and consummated there is no separating the bond short of the Goddesses or Death. With this in mind, Harry please make your vows to your brides."

"Animam tuam fierem maritus. Caro tuam fierem tuam fierem maritus." Harry intoned as he took Fleur's and Nymphadora's hands in his. His magic responding to his oaths flowed through his fingers and into theirs. "Votum ponam in sæculum."

Fleur and Nymphadora were stunned to actually feel the magic flowing through their bodies. In the preparation rituals, Bill and Remus had felt like holding their fingers near a candle flame. Harry's magic was like a smelter's furnace in comparison, but it certainly not painful. So caught up in the difference neither Witch understood the older vow Harry had uttered. When prodded they repeated the same words compounding the error, not that Doreen or anyone who understood would have cared to stop them.

Ginny Weasley watched as her plans disintegrated before her very eyes. Her perfect plan to snare the man of her dreams became so much ash in her mouth. Somehow she had made a mistake. Somehow the Portkeys she had gotten from Marietta Edgecombe had gone to the wrong people. Well, one of them had hit their mark. The other was not supposed to Bill. Now, Harry Potter was out of her reach forever. She couldn't even fume about it as she was so heavily medicated right now expressing a negative thought was beyond her.

Gabrielle Delacour was all smiles. Harry Potter was now her big brother. All thanks to Ginny Weasley and a flipendo spell. Now she just had to get the creepy ginger girl to a mind healer.