Chapter 1:

Eggsy fingered the lock pick in his hand, trying desperately to fit it into the keyhole binding his wrists together while a man with way too much facial hair paced in front of him, monologuing until there was no fucking tomorrow. Behind the man was an enormous vat of bubbling electric blue liquid, topped off with an equally enormous ray zapper thingy pointed directly at Eggsy that looked as if had come straight out of a cartoon.

"Galahad, we're doing an analysis on the contents inside that tank," Merlin muttered into his ear. "Keep your eyes on it."

"-once they realize what I've created, it'll be too late!" the man cackled, throwing his hands up into the air in triumph.

"What the fuck…" Merlin muttered. "It seems to be some sort of biochemical fluid that reacts and transforms cells and… oh fuck, Eggsy, you have to get the fuck out of there, right now! Kill Dr. Daedalus while you're at it, will you?" Merlin hissed. Eggsy grimaced, biting back a string of curse words. The man's back was turned to him, so he took the opportunity to jam the pick into the keyhole, twisting and pivoting it until he heard the satisfying quiet click of the lock.

But it wasn't quiet enough.

The man spun around just as Eggsy ripped the cuffs off. Dr. Daedalus made a leap for the control system just as Eggsy whipped out the gun he had kept hidden underneath his dress shirt. Dr. Daedalus had only done a basic weapons check. Stupid.

The shot rang out in the warehouse just as the man slammed his fist on the button.

Nothing happened.

Eggsy watched as red blossomed from Dr. Daedalus's chest, spreading downwards as he stumbled, clutching his chest. Eggsy shrugged apologetically. Not that he was really that sorry.

But before the man's eyes glazed over, he smiled. A really, fucking, creepy-ass smile.

Eggsy's face fell as he felt a painful tingling sensation spreading throughout his body.

"Get out of the fucking way!" Merlin hollered in his ear.

Eggsy bolted to the side, making for the exit as the pins-and-needles feeling travelled all the way to his toes and the tips of his ears. He snarled, pushing himself faster until he burst out of the warehouse and into the bright Florida sunshine. A plain-looking car waited for him a block away, beside the curb in a no-parking zone. He jumped in and the car sped away.

Eggsy just managed to buckle himself in when the tingling worked its way to his forehead and he suddenly blacked out.

"He's waking up!" a familiar voice called as Eggsy shifted from his position on the hospital bed. He blinked blearily, wincing at the bright white lights of the infirmary.

"Nngh," Eggsy groaned. His tongue felt like a piece of wet cotton.

"Eggsy, oh my god, you scared the crap out of everyone," the same voice exclaimed, her face swimming in and out of Eggsy's vision. Slick, perfect ponytail, sharp cheekbones and warm brown eyes. Roxy.

"Roxghthy," Eggsy managed. He opened his mouth, making a face. He snapped his mouth shut and rolled his tongue a couple of times. It helped. "Roxy."

"Do you need water?" she asked, already bringing the straw to a glass of water to his lips. He nodded gratefully. A moment later, two figures burst through the door.

"Holy jesus, Eggsy," Merlin said, shaking his head. "You gave us quite a fright. No injuries but you were out for three whole days. Would've been a lot of extra paperwork I could do without," Merlin mused.

Three whole days?

Eggsy turned his gaze to the second man, a pleasant, warm sensation growing in his chest. Harry approached the bed carefully, eyes wide and lips pursed into a thin line. Roxy cleared her throat and took a step back, giving Harry some space.

"Don't. Ever. Do. That. Again," Arthur murmured, patting Eggsy's head gingerly. Eggsy grinned. Or tried to, anyways. The look that Harry was giving him made his chest squeeze.

"Sure thing, Harry."

"Good." Harry sighed, running a hand through his dark chocolate brown hair. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, actually," Eggsy responded truthfully. Now that he thought about it, he was feeling great. Refreshed, even. Other than his tongue. And a sharp-ish pain throbbing from his tailbone. He must've bruised his it after falling... or something like that.

"Eggsy."

"No, I'm serious, bruv. I feel really good, actually." Eggsy smiled. "I swear." He tilted his head on the pillows. "I feel like I could do another mission right now." Merlin laughed.

"Not for a while, I'm afraid. You're ordered to stay in bed for another week at least, and another three weeks after that until you can take a mission. We don't know what that serum did to you."

"Serum?" Eggsy asked.

"The blue liquid inside the tank," Merlin answered.

"Oh." Eggsy frowned. "Any ideas what it might've been?" Merlin shook his head.

"Don't know yet. By the time you left though, nearly three-quarters of it disappeared… probably into you."

"Well… nothing's happened to me yet, right?"

"Correct, which is why you need to be here another few days so we can keep an eye on you just in case something does happen." Eggsy tried to ignore the nervous tinge to Merlin's voice. Merlin glanced at his watch. "Well, Lancelot and I have some work to do, so we'll leave you with Harry for now." He shot the two men a cheeky smile before putting a hand on Roxy's shoulder and guiding her out of the infirmary.

"Well then," Harry said, breaking the long silence that followed after the door swung shut. He shifted uncomfortably, looking unsure of what to do.

It was fucking adorable.

"Sit," Eggsy commanded, patting the spot on the bed beside him. Harry simply raised an eyebrow before complying. Eggsy's heart fluttered briefly, but he scolded himself. Harry would never think of Eggsy in that way, the way he wanted him so, so badly to.

The conversation turned to other matters after that, and Eggsy noticed that Harry had relaxed visibly, even cracking a true smile every once in a while.

And it sure was one heck of a smile.

"Eggsy, you must be out of your mind. Merlin's going to kill you," Roxy whispered, leaning down to hear her friend's next words as he pushed himself into a sitting position.

"Come on, Rox. There's nothing wrong with me. Besides, I'm out of bed tomorrow anyways. One day won't hurt. Make that…" Eggsy glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. "Seven hours, actually. And I'm just going to go home, so I can at least pass out on my own bed and see Daisy and me mum."

"Well, what do you want me to do?" she asked, finally relenting. She could feel his restlessness, the way he felt lying in bed for an entire week for no noticeable reason.

"Just distract him while I make a break for it or summit, and if he finds me gone and freaks out just tell him."

"What? Why me?"

"Because he looooves you, Rox," Eggsy teased. Roxy turned a pretty shade of pink.

"Does not. Anyways," she continued, hastily changing the topic. "If I get my arse impaled on the front gate, you so owe me."

Just as Roxy turned to leave, Eggsy called to her, shaking with laughter.

"Your arse won't be impaled on the front gate, Rox. It'll be impaled on Merlin's co-"

Roxy threw a jar of cotton swabs at him.

Eggsy snuck out of the infirmary a half hour later, right after he knew Merlin had done his daily check-up of him and his vitals via his master control system in his private office. He slipped into a pair of sweats and a tee before taking the tube to the tailor shop.

When he arrived home, he was greeted by a good deal of squealing and many big kisses from his little sister and a tight hug from his mum. JB was snoozing in Eggsy's room, having stayed with the family while Eggsy was on his mission.

After his mum made them dinner, he played dress-up with Daisy before sweeping her up and delivering her to bed as soon as she started yawning, despite all her protests. Eggsy himself went to bed a few hours later, before midnight.

As soon as he closed his eyes though, a jolt of pain caused him to gasp loudly. A familiar stinging, prickling sensation began buzzing underneath his skin.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…" Eggsy muttered, reaching for the distress dial resting on his bedside table. Before he could make it though, the feeling travelled up to his forehead, and the world turned black.

When Eggsy opened his eyes, he was confused as fuck. Everything was a strange colour. And then there was the fact that his head felt like it had been nailed into a wall with a sledgehammer before getting run over by a truck carrying anvils with spiked wheels. He groaned.

What the fuck?

He made a noise.

It came out as a tiny, high-pitched whimper.

He tried to speak.

It came out as a bark.

No. No fucking way.

Eggsy tried to peer at himself, but all he could see was golden fur splotched with white.

And then he found himself face to face- literally, like eye-level to a familiar looking pug with a happy grin on his face.

Master Egg! the pug yipped.

J… JB?

Hahahahahaha doggy! JB replied cheerfully. JB began sniffing at his arse and Eggsy biffed him on the head with a golden paw- oh fuck, he had paws.

Damnit! What the fuck… oh, I get it, I must be fucking dreamin' this shit. Eggsy glanced around before getting up- holy fuck, four legs… this sure was a fucking strange-ass dream. He leaped off the bed, scrabbling for purchase on the smooth wood floor. He launched himself at the wall, ramming his head into it. Pain exploded from his head, but he didn't wake up.

What the actual fuck was this? He could talk to JB, he had paws, and he was a fucking puppy or something. He cocked his head to the side, suddenly curious. He padded towards the mirror hanging in his walk-in closet, using his nose to nudge open the door. God, this was strange. He was so fucking small. Everything seemed huge. Was this what it was like to be JB?

He took a good look at himself in the mirror.

Oh yeah. He was a fucking corgi. And he was fucking adorable. He wagged his tail a little- oh fuck, he even had a tail.

But this still didn't explain what the fuck was going on. He must've been dreaming.

And then it hit him.

The biochemical.

Fuck.

-agent galahad