12 June 2015

I could have been earlier. Indeed could have been earlier. Much earlier. Five days earlier.

IF you remember and you are here and you're not dead and you're still reading remember that thing I did a while ago? I mean the thing you know the thing ugh, the Minion-project-rip-off thing-thing? No? Yes? No? No? Okay.

Anyway, yeah. Just read. Do nothing but do the read. And the review. Later, maybe. And before literally anything while the title implies "weird" they're not necessarily weird, just. Like. Uh. Interesting. Notable. And that this follows the gameverse, not the animeverse, Kirby can talk Kirby is not with unadulterated innocence noooooononopenope.

And that none of these are actually official they're just what I think so do not, do not, do not, be all "no NOOOo no nO he cannot do this becaUSe", thank. (Unless it's completely out of hand, like Meta Knight marrying the first wall you come across in Castle Dedede.)

01. Introduction

of a pink puffball who sometimes sleeps in a tent just outside his house.

Most knew Kirby as a benevolent creature.

This was true. Kirby was so benevolent it was hard to see him as anything but and oh my goodness the amount of benevolence keeps inflating you'll never be under the same roof as Kirby because his benevolence is so big—

Yes, yes, this was all true. Kirby was a kind creature, and it was rare for him to commit any terrorising acts. (Although it did happen—you read nothing.) He often saved Dream Land, or even Pop Star, and occasionally, the entire universe. And maybe even other dimensions, too! Kirby was a helpful person. A helpful, busy person.

Just because he was a helpful, busy person didn't mean he wasn't a person either. He had ideals, dreams, likes and dislikes—just like a normal person. Things he preferred doing, things he didn't. Things like reactions and feelings—he cried easily if the atmosphere was carefree enough. Things like mistakes—while he didn't often make mistakes when he was saving the world, he often stumbled with his tongue, made slip-ups.

Someone like that could be called a "hero", right?

Heroes always had rivals, be they allies or enemies. King Dedede was always after Kirby's throat, and Meta Knight promised to "have his head on a diamond platter and hang it on a chandelier in his house". Kirby repeatedly wondered how Meta Knight would have Kirby's "head" when ninety percent of his body was his head, but the knight always refused to answer.

Kirby never liked enemies. He liked having friends, and having enemies were annoying. They always got in the way. Always! Saving the world was fun, but doing it so many times just got annoying sometimes. If he could, he'd go up and make the king have some social time with him and then they'd be "best buddies" for life. For life.

A friend-loving hero sounded pleasing to the ears. He had many quirks, though. Many.

This is the introduction of Kirby, the heroic, innocent-seeming puffball, who went back and saved everything numerous times, and he wants to let you know his bedsheets are blue.