I have reached the peak of my insanity... In "Horton Hears a Who", the mayor is clearly Kanan, Ezra is Jojo, and we all know who Hera is... ("Not now, sweetie. Daddy's having a breakdown.")

(Neocolai, stop thinking. Just write.)

One more in the "Stupid Tooka" series, cause I needed some limp!Ezra and protective!Kanan without any actual whumpage. ;)

- 10 months after Never Alone (Takes place a few weeks after "Offspring")

"Anyone seen the kid?"

A week after the 'unmentionable incident' (and Kanan would never befriend a tooka again), the Jedi Master was back to hobbling around the Ghost, pestering Hera's flight skills and advising finishing touches for Sabine's graffiti. Irksome, belligerent, and a pleasure to have among the crew once more.

Even if said benign crew was missing a straggly-haired padawan.

"Has anyone seen Ezra?" Kanan repeated louder.

"Nah," Sabine mumbled from the rounded couch. Flopped onto her back, with a fizzy drink and a straw, a pile of napkin wipes, and a holovid screening on her datapad, she was as close to slothful, dunderheaded Zeb as Kanan could associate.

"Nope." Zeb mimicked Sabine's posture, eyelids twitching like Ezra's when he tried to meditate.

Kanan folded his arms. "I have the idlest crew in the galaxy."

"No, I have," Hera corrected. She was squeezed between Sabine and Zeb, avoiding the Lasat's feet and the Mandalorian's still-drying bleached hair. She scowled at her datapad in concentration, but Kanan caught her glancing covertly at Sabine's holovid.

"So no one is keeping charge of my padawan. Chopper!"

"Recharging," Hera said. "Shouldn't you be resting that leg?"

"I'm fine. I barely twisted it."

"You thaid dat wight before you clobbered dah wall." Sabine sniffled and batted the holochess table until she found an unused napkin wipe. Curling her nose, Hera shifted towards Zeb's feet.

Concerned, Kanan leaned over the table and pressed his hand against Sabine's forehead. She pushed him away with a garbled mumble and fussed with her wet bangs. "Mb'fine."

"You're sick."

"Mb'not thick!"

"You caught a cold," Kanan assessed.

"Th'not a cold! Theb, tell him tah go'way!"

"Eh, leave the snip alone," Zeb grumbled, crossing his hands over his chest. "The frudal flowers don't agree with her."

"You're allergic?" Kanan raised one eyebrow and handed Sabine another napkin wipe.

"Yeth! Now go'way!" Aggravatedly Sabine blew her nose, and Zeb scowled at the dry honk.

"Karabast, you'll blow out your brains and then we'll be down one Mandalorian. Just drink the tea already. Hera, order her to –"

"I am not involved in this," Hera said distractedly.

"Kanan, you then," Zeb insisted.

"Sorry. Captain Hera gives the commands on this ship." Frudal flowers and allergic reactions? He really didn't want to know.

"Theb, leab mbe in peathe," Sabine moaned, resting her datapad on her forehead.

"If you're looking for Ezra, I would try outside the ship," Hera suggested to Kanan. "He said he wanted to visit an old haunt."

Kanan nodded, understanding the implications. The Lothal Temple was within walking distance. The kid was probably exercising his techniques on the hidden entrance and had lost track of time. "I'll find him."

Hera hummed in agreement and lifted Sabine's datapad for a better view. Zeb feigned a snore.

"Bwing bach thtim-thots," Sabine implored.

Kanan tapped her forehead. "Pepper tea – Zeb's orders."

"I hade you."

"I've learned to accept it." Leaving his indolent, motley crew to lounge, Kanan skidded down the ramp and ambled to the Lothal peaks. The air was cool, with a whiff of sun-baked rock. Grass crunched under his boots. To the right, a Loth-rat scuttled into a nest of crackling twigs, its cheeks bulging with farmers' grain.

Lothal deserved tranquility.

They would defy the Empire to preserve it.

… … At least Kanan would. Apparently his padawan had seceded from the bores of life. Kanan shook his head as he approached the curled figure, envying Ezra's talent for conking out anywhere. Wish I had your abilities.

"Hey." He bent and jostled Ezra's shoulder, snorting when the kid tucked his arm around an imaginary stuffed Loth-wolf (that Kanan swore he never knew existed). "Ez. Time to return to the Ghost."

"Five minutes, Da," Ezra mumbled, tucking his head into his arms. Something tugged and Kanan brushed away the feeling of possession. He couldn't replace the influence of Ephraim Bridger.

But he could obstruct Vader's hold on the kid's life.

'You cannot withhold him from his true father.'

The voice was Vader's.

Kanan shivered.

"Come on," he whispered, slipping his arms under Ezra's shoulders and knees. The kid was limp, exhausted from more than a long day.

Drained.

Stay out of his head, Vader! Kanan glared at the rising moon, where the outline of a Star Destroyer orbited thousands of miles away. He gripped his padawan tighter. He's mine.

Cold slithered through the force. Laughing. Biding its time.

Kanan turned his back.

.

.

.

Translations for Sabine's "allergy-lingo":

"You thaid dat wight before you clobbered dah wall." (You said that right before you clobbered the wall.)

"Mb'fine." (I'm fine.)

"Mb'not thick!" (I'm not sick!)

"Th'not a cold! Theb, tell him tah go'way!" (It's not a cold! Zeb, tell him to go away!)

"Yeth! Now go'way!" (Yes! Now go away!)

"Theb, leab mbe in peathe." (Zeb, leave me in peace.)

"Bwing bach thtim-thots." (Bring back stim-shots.)

"I hade you." (I hate you.)

Midnight Luna, you're the second person to suggest a coma idea. :) It's a sound concept but so far I don't think it's going to work with the timeline. However, there is ... something like it... coming up in Part 4. o_o

This is it for the oneshots for now. (Stop inspiring me, heartbreakerninja!) There will probably be more additions later, but I want to begin Part 3. :) Next arc will be a fiveshot featuring Vader's influence and the darkness within...

Thank you to Valkyrie-Sythe, yokaiangel, Midnight Luna, BuruPlays2, starwarsrebels, Ichichi05, UnfathomableFandoms, Firehawk720, heartbreakerninja, majo2, Superherotiger, thunder angel13, and Guest for leaving feedback on the last chapter, and thank you to those who reviewed previous chapters after the acknowledgements!