20. You're floating on a cloud that's beautiful and then
With a box tucked under his arm and a grocery bag in his hand, Jim awkwardly rang the doorbell of the Wilkes-Barre home. This is not one of my better ideas, he thought, hearing foot steps coming to the door followed by the creaking of hinges.
"Hey, come in," Lisa said with a grin he struggled to match. "You can set all this down in the living room." He kept his eyes mostly on her bare feet as he followed her through the entry way.
Don't sit, he reminded himself, just set everything down, make a little chitchat then say you have to go. You have a ton of packing and other things to do.
"You want a drink?" Lisa called from the kitchen.
One drink can't hurt. Jim decided and he called back. "Sure." She walked over to him with two import beers in hand and motioned to a pair of stools by the kitchen island.
On Monday, Jan came in with Pam for what Jan politely referred to as "corporate assessments", but as soon as Jim walked into the conference room Jan shut the door right in the face of the camera crew following him and then made the purpose of her visit clear: Stamford was officially absorbing the Scranton branch and Jan was there to tell a select few that they were being offered transfers.
Jan began telling Jim in addition to a transfer he was going to be offered a promotion to assistant manager which meant a higher base salary and a higher commission rate. She went through the details until the sound of crying came from outside the door, where Michael had promptly spilled the beans about the branch closing and was now making high-pitched noises.
"Oh my God," Jan said under her breath before standing. "I'm sorry, Jim, I'll be back shortly."
The door latched behind Jan and Pam looked to Jim, a smirk on her lips and blush spreading over her cheeks, "Whatcha thinking about there, Beesly?" Jim asked in a low tone.
"Nothing just ..." her cheeks somehow grew more red, "Congratulations, Mr Assistant Manager."
"Yeah, not even a 'to the' in there," Jim said. He watched her with knitted brows while she scribbled a message on her notepad and handed it folded to him. Long as they were in the office things like this were kind of necessary. Even though there were no cameras in the room, they were still being watched and micced with zoom lenses and fancy microphones.
Jim unfolded the message and felt his own cheeks grow red at Pam's suggestion on how to celebrate.
"We could celebrate at lunch, don't you think?" Jim, surprised at the steadiness of his voice.
"If we take an extra long lunch."
That didn't turn out to be a problem. Jan rushed through the rest of her announcements and proclaimed well before noon that she and Pam were leaving, and the office was in enough chaos that it was easy for Jim to duck out early, picking up sandwiches and meeting Pam at his home.
After lunch and a couple "celebrations" up in his room, Pam reluctantly said she really needed to get on the road and back to New York. Jim just as reluctantly said he understood and watched her dress, though he did teasingly hold her shoe just out of her reach until she snatched it back.
He walked her to the front door and she turned and took his hand. "We only have to do this for a couple more weeks."
Jim smiled back, "I know, and then when we're finally in the same city you're gonna get sick of me."
"You're probably gonna get sick of me," she retorted with a smile, though it faded fast and Jim quickly tugged her arm and pulled her into an embrace.
"Never," he said in a low voice before kissing her.
He was certainly ready to head upstairs for another quick "celebration" and judging by her unsteady breathing and flushed cheeks when their lips parted she was about ready also, but she kept her composure and stepped out onto the porch.
"Just a couple more weeks," she said, halfway to her car.
Jim leaned against the door-frame and watched her with a smile until her car was out of view.
Jim used his free afternoon to start assessing what it would take to pack. Looking over his closet his eyes fell on a box he had been conveniently forgetting for the past few months, filled with CDs, random clothes and other knick-knacks.
Logging onto the Dunder Mifflin web portal, he sent an email from his work account, keeping it pretty distance in tone and asking where the best place to send a box of things to Lisa would be. She replied within 10 minutes that she's still around so no need to send, just drop it off sometime.
Jim put it off all week but Pam was planning to come back to Scranton on Saturday to help Jim with his packing and he wanted the box of Lisa's things to be gone by then. Thursday evening he finally text to ask if Friday afternoon would work and Lisa text back yes.
Lisa and Jim chatted for a good half-hour about what was going on. She told him all about her grad school visits and he talked about the merger and being sent to Connecticut, and soon a new beer was in his hand.
Their conversation grew sillier, her complaining about living at home again, him talking about the finer points of having Mark as a roommate. A buzz came from his back pocket and he looked to see it was work, more specifically it was Dwight's phone at work. Jim pressed the button to turn off the buzzing and tossed the phone onto the counter.
"Do you need to get that?" Lisa said.
"It's Dwight and if I answer he's probably going to try to convince me that he's fired me with his non-existent authority and I won't be going to Connecticut after all."
Lisa's eyes grew wide, "He's not going, is he?"
"And leave his beet farm? Nah, they only just upgraded from whale oil lamps last year. Maybe next year they're get a landline put in."
She started giggling, "But I though he was like a SyFy channel nut, surely he at least has cable."
"Nah, he uses rabbit ears, like on an actual rabbit," Jim smiled at Lisa laughing heartily, knowing she had to be quite buzzed to be so amused by such a dumb joke.
Suddenly there's a lull and Jim realized Lisa's stool had progressively gotten closer to his and she was looking at him with a smile and half-lidded eyes. Her smile faded and she leaned in, and while he was quite buzzed, he thankfully had the wherewithal to turn his face. Her lips hit his cheek for a second before she jerked back.
"Sorry," she whispered, scoffing to herself and looking at her beer bottle.
He chewed his lip, "Don't worry about it, please."
"I guess ... I didn't realize 'til now how much I've missed you." Her big blue eyes met his for a moment before growing shiny and she looked away. "But clearly it's not mutual-"
"I just," he took a breath and their eyes met again. "I'm ... seeing someone."
"Wow," her brows lifted and she put on a forced smile. "That's great, but isn't moving going to complicate things?"
Jim started tracing the counter-top with his finger, trying to decide how much to say, "She's actually already in the area so it should the too bad."
That statement seemed to take Lisa aback more than him saying he was seeing someone, but she managed to keep the smile on. "Well, don't keep me in the dark here. Tell me about her, what's her name?"
"Um, well, is kind of funny. Remember when we last spoke and I told you I was going to Manhattan, and that Pam was at corporate."
"Yeah?"
"Well, we caught up and all and then we went out and-" Jim looked to see Lisa's eyes narrow and her smile fade some.
"Pam, you're - you're seeing Pam?"
Jim looked at his beer bottle, silently cursing the liquid inside for loosening his lips so much. "Yeah," he said in a quiet voice.
"I knew you had a thing for her," Lisa said with a small chuckle.
Jim let out a slight laugh of his own, "Yeah." He looked to Lisa with a smile, only to realized her chuckle was more a sarcastic scoff and her words were accusatory. "Wait, you mean before you and I broke..." Lisa pursed her lips and Jim started to shake his head, "No, no, it's not like that."
"Really? What was it then, Jim, when you came home every day and told me the funny thing Pam said with a big dumb grin on your face, or when you were drunk and hugging her at that Christmas party or when you watched her every second she was with that warehouse guy on that booze cruise?" If Lisa was buzzed she certainly wasn't acting like it, she glared right at Jim while sitting on the stool with one foot on the floor, ready to either storm out or maybe even lunge at him.
Jim shook his head, knowing there was no right answer to this. The fact of the matter was he developed feelings for a woman who wasn't his fiancee, he certainly didn't set out to, but it happened and this was the consequence.
His phone started buzzing again, and he wasn't able to grab it before she saw the name on he screen. He quickly silenced it and slipped it into his pocket.
"Why don't you get that?" Lisa said with a sneer, standing and walking with her beer to the living room.
Jim stood, taking a couple steps in Her direction. "Lisa, nothing was happening between Pam and me when you and I were together. I didn't even realized she liked me until she told me at that-" Jim managed to stop his mouth and took a small breath, "that meeting in New York."
Lisa spun turned on her heels to face him, "Wait, when did she actually tell you she liked you?"
Jim was about to play dumb, but knew Lisa had caught his hesitancy and wasn't about to let him off the hook. "I suppose ... she told me at that warehouse casino night."
A weird high pitched laugh came from Lisa and she shook her head, "I knew that too, I knew you were acting weird after that night."
"Yeah, well who's the one who actually called off the wedding?" Jim muttered.
"Oh okay, you got me there, Jim. Yeah I called off the wedding, it was all my fault. Certainly had nothing to do with the fact that I was freaking out and my fiance was mentally somewhere else, apparently daydreaming about the receptionist. Nothing to do with me spending our entire relationship waiting for you to be ready, to be ready to set a date, to ask me to marry you, move in with you, to even call me your girlfriend." Lisa's eyes became shiny and she motioned to nothing in particular, "And what, you're gonna move in with Pam when you go to Stamford? What's it been, two months?"
Jim looked to his shoes, wishing he had fibbed and said yes he did need to leave and take Pam's call. No, he couldn't stay for a beer. No, he couldn't stop by to drop off her things. "I'm sorry," he said softly.
After a moment, Lisa took a deep breath. "Thanks for dropping off my things, I wish you the best of luck," she said quickly.
Jim lifted his head to look at her, standing with her arms crossed, trying to wipe tears from her eyes discretely. After a moment, he started making his way to the door. With his hand on the doorknob, he turned back to the living room. "You're right, I hesitated constantly with you, and I really am sorry. You deserve someone who you can be sure of, and you'll find that, I know it."
A half-smile crept onto Lisa's face and she nodded, "Thanks."
Jim was halfway out the door when Lisa called his name and he turned back. "Yeah?"
"I really do wish you all the best, in everything," Lisa said.
Jim gave a tilted smiled, "Thanks Lisa."
Once Jim was in his car and a couple blocks away, he pulled over and rested his head on the steering wheel. His phone buzzed again, and he smiled while pressing 'answer'. "Oh my God Beesly, you will not believe the afternoon I've had. We're gonna have several drinks when you get in tomorrow."
"Or we can start when I get to your place in an hour," Pam said quickly.
Jim felt his brows lift at her rushed, high tone. She sounded like she was on the verge of tears, "Wait, you're coming in tonight? What's wrong?"
"It's work, it was crazy and I hate to skip an internship day tomorrow but I ... I'd rather be there."
"Pam, what is it?"
"The merger, it's all screwed up now, and no one knows what happening and Jan lost her grip like three times today and I just ... I just want to be home. Not stupid Brooklyn, I mean like home."
Even though her voice was cracking and she seemed a moment away from sobbing, Jim couldn't help but smile a little at the fact that when Pam said "home" she meant with him. After all the confusion and mixed emotions of the last couple hours, his mind started to feel clear. "Okay, get yourself home then. Safely, don't rush. I'll see you soon."
"Okay," she already sounded much calmer, "Okay, see you soon."
Jim tapped his knee a couple times and took a breath. "I love you," he added.
He heard Pam take a shaky breath, this was after all the first time he had said that to her on the phone. And yes they had only been together for a couple months but there was nothing else he was more sure of than how he felt about Pam Beesly.
"I love you too," Pam finally said and Jim could hear the grin in her voice.
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