You Were There
Yuki's feelings are finally revealed, but is he ready for the consequences? A song fiction themed after the popular revival by Regine Velasquez. This is dedicated to people who are victims of unrequited love. Ouch. It does hurt to love without reciprocation, but the important thing is, you love unconditionally. That's the greatest kind of love in the world. No obligation to return the love given to you.
Shameless plug-in: Into Yukiru? Visit my mini-site to the couple, Fairy Tales. Images, fics, reasons and more! http://www.geocities.com/nemmy15/fairy1.htm
"Tohru, you can't leave!" cried Momiji.
Honda Tohru shook her head. "It's not right anymore to be a burden to your family anymore. I got a scholarship in China, and I want to take advantage of it."
Yuki Sohma paused from knocking on the door of Tohru's bedroom. He could hear the intense conversation of his cousin and the girl inside.
"You have another reason why you're leaving, right?" demanded the hare. "It's because of Kyo!"
Yuki's fists clenched.
A sharp exhale. "Don't drag him into this."
"I heard you two talking in the garden a few nights ago. You confessed to him your feelings, but he said that it was too late, for he had already learn to love Kagura," snapped back Momiji.
Tohru and Yuki gasped at the same time, but the latter did so too audibly, so he was noticed.
"Yuki!" exclaimed Tohru, seeing him from the slight opening of the door.
He gazed at her quietly for a moment before he bowed and left.
"Y-Yuki, wait!" She tried to run after him, but the blond stopped her. "You'll only inflict more pain on him if you go after him," said the boy gently.
"What do you mean?"
"Tohru, he's in love with you. Yuki loves you."
I guess you've heard
I guess you've known
In time I might have told you
But I guess I'm too slow
It's overly romantic but I know that it's real
I hope you don't mind if I say what I feel
It's like I'm in somebody else's dream
This could not be happening to me…
Yuki smiled sardonically as he walked aimlessly around the yard. Was he ever a fool for wistfully dreaming that someday Tohru would learn to love him the way he does.
"From the start, she said that she sympathizes more with the cat than the rat. I should have taken my cue back then. I should have known."
But you were there
You were everything I've never seen
You woke me up from this long and endless sleep
I was alone
I opened my eyes
And you were ther
eHe smiled bitterly when he recalled the moments he had with Tohru. A simple touch on his forehead to check his temperature, an eager yank on his hand to drag him to who-knows-where, her intimate nearness as she helped him out of his clothes…
Special happenings he would forever cherish, just like the name of the one woman he loved more than his life itself.
"Honda-san…"
"Yuki-kun…"
He paused and turned around. Tohru was standing behind him, looking troubled,
He plastered a smile on his face. "What can I do for you, Honda-san?"
She gave him no reply. She merely stared at him, brown eyes shaking in worry.
Don't look at me that way, Tohru. It only makes me feel worse.
Don't be alarmed, no don't be concerned
I don't want to change things
Leave them just as they were
I mean nothing's really different
It's me who feels strange
I'm always at loss for words when someone mentions your name…
His purple eyes looked around the garden, then at the golden soil moistened by the slight drizzle starting to fall. Anywhere but at her face.
"I'm..sorry…" her whispered words barely came above a whisper.
"Why?" He had the nerve to ask. He tried to dull the ache tearing his heart apart with an impeccable smile.
"Because…I hurt you."
I know that I'll get over this for sure
I'm not the type who dreams there could be more…
He forced a careless laugh. "What are you talking about, Honda-san?"
She looked down and said nothing, just as the rain finally crashed down on them.
His gaze lingered on her for a second, feeling the contours of her delicate angelic face with his eyes.
Because he couldn't do that on actual. He couldn't come up to her and trace her beautiful face with his finger. She didn't want his touch. She wanted Kyo's. And he isn't Kyo.
And he berated his whole seventeen years of existence for it.
He had never felt this envious of his cousin before. He had always been confident of him being the better man of the two of them. He had more brains, more charm, more authority, and more friends (and fans!) than him. But…
…he had Tohru's heart.
He would trade everything that he has to get that one thing.
But he couldn't.
"I didn't know," began Tohru softly. "I had no idea about your feelings."
He groped helplessly for words. "Honda-san…"
"And…it must really hurt when you heard what Momiji said," she continued. "So what should I do to make the pain go away?"
He laughed, somewhat insanely, for as his tears of frustration mixed with the rain running down his face, his hollow laughter was echoing in the garden.
"Nothing," he replied simply.
"Yuki-kun!"
"Nothing," he said more firmly.
Because the only way you can make the pain go away is for you to love me back
, he said in his mind. Love me back!He looked up at the skies.
The rain has stopped
The storm has passed
Look at all the colors
Now the sun's here at last
I suppose that you'll be leaving but I want you to know
Part of you stays with me even after you go…
"So are you serious with your plans for leaving?" he asked finally.
"I..am no longer needed here," she said slowly. "Besides, seeing Kyo everyday might only make me suffer more."
He knew that. And he didn't want that. He would rather suffer alone in silence, not seeing her anymore. Her pain would be too much for him.
"Then I'll help you find a new house," he said brightly. He started to babble at her the possible changes of lifestyle both she and his family would have to live with after she moves out. As he was doing so, he thought he could feel that he was levitating above him and Tohru, like a third party watching them.
He could see the smile through gritted teeth. He could see the just-drying cheek where his tears and the rain flowed down together awhile ago.
He was a perfect masquerade.
Like an actor playing someone else's scene
This could not be happening to me…
"When will you leave?" he asked.
"Tomorrow."
His heart fell, but his smile didn't waver. "Then we'll wake up early to fix your things."
The same person who brought colors back into his life caused the pain now searing through his heart and breaking it mercilessly.
Ironic.
But he didn't regret falling in love with her, and he never will. She taught him so much about kindness and selflessness, the very things he was trying to practice now.
Sacrifice. For the sake of his beloved.
She was his first real friend. The one who constantly reminded him that he wasn't alone.
So in return for all of these, all he wanted was to see her happy. And if what it takes to make her so was a farewell, he would be the first one to see her off.
Dakedo
…But you were there
You were everything I've never seen
You woke me up from this long and empty sleep
I was alone
I opened my eyes
And no..no..I'm not alone…
"Honda-san, do remember always that you will take my heart with you wherever you go," he said quietly.
Her eyes shook, and they began to well with tears. "Arigatou gozaimasu."
"Too bad..I'll be alone again," he murmured sadly, shutting his eyes tight.
Dull the ache. Dull the ache. It's her happiness that you value most, right?
"Yuki-kun,"
…I opened my eyes…
Her hand cupped his face. "No, because you have a part of my heart too."
Her words somewhat eased his pain.
He wouldn't be alone even after she leaves. Even if chances are, they might never see each other again.
They have an unbreakable bond.
He would always be in her heart, just as she would be in his.
…you were there
Maybe someday, she would find her way back home to them. But as of now, he was already satisfied with what he was holding now.
The End