I do not own anything: all rights belong to R&H

this is my first fanfiction, so please R&R. This is liesl's diary, before, after and during the time of the SOM. Each chapter will be a differnt journal entry. If you have an ideas, please respond!

September 14

Mom died last night. It was at 11:00pm and there was a loud thunderstorm. All the 7 kids, me (11), Friedrich (9), Louisa (8), Kurt (5), Brigitta (4), Marta (2), and Gretl (6 months), were all in the girls room because none of us could sleep with such loud thunder. I was on my bed with Gretl in her crib next to me because dad did not want her too close to mom because she was so sick and Marta cuddled under my arm. Louisa and Brigitta were together in Louisa's bed and Kurt was in Marta's bed and Friedrich was in Brigitta's bed. I was the only one up. I don't know why I was up, but I was. When dad walked in, he smiled, seeing all of his kids together. I could tell something bad had happened when his smile quickly went away and left the room. He usually always kissed our checks, but last night he didn't. I removed Marta from my arm, and followed him outside the room. He waited there, almost knowing I was up and would follow him. He brought me to his room and walked in together holding hands. Mom was asleep and she looked very pale. He told me what had happened, and how she died peacefully and in her sleep but I didn't care. I was so angry. So, I started kicking and screaming, hoping that she would wake up. I screamed so loud that all of my siblings woke up and ran into dad's room, besides Gretl, who was crying. Then, my father did something that he had never done before. He picked me up, sat down, put me over his knees and smacked my backside. I stopped crying, not because I wasn't in pain, because I was, but because he had never hit any of us before. He commanded us to return to our rooms into our beds and we listened. When we returned to our rooms, he came in and told everyone else what happened and said that if anyone made a single sound, that we would be punished. We all just laid there in shock. Eventually, we all fell asleep.

Today was an even weirder day. I woke at 7:00 when Gretl started crying and gave her her bottle and rocked her in the rocking chair until everyone eventually woke up. Because there are more girls them boys and we have more beds, the girls room is more of the hang out room. Everyone started to come in, but no one said a word until Marta asked, who was sitting on Friedrich's lap if mom really did die, and we all started to cry. Dad then walked in, probably because he heard us, and we all instantly stopped, even Gretl. He told us breakfast was ready, and that we should all get dressed and come down to eat. We followed and when we came down, dad was waiting for us be the door. He told us from now on we would have assigned seats. He showed us each were to sit and nobody made a noise, the only empty seat was across the head of the table, where dad was sitting and on the left to that, for when Gretl gets older. Gretl was sitting on my lap. He told us that us that he would sit down first, and then we would. And same for everything else. He would pick up his fork first, then we would. It was a weird feeling, but we followed, knowing that he was very upset. Nobody talked at breakfast. We all just looked at our food and ate. After we ate, he stood up first and then we did, and then he sent us off. Because it was a Saturday, none of us had homework so we went outside and played. I sat with Gretl, and the rest of the kids played our favorite game of hide and seek tag. When it was lunch, we all came inside, and repeated what we did for breakfast. After lunch, dad got up and went into his study, leaving us on our own. When dinner came, he didn't even come out, we just had dinner on our own. We went upstairs after dinner. Friedrich stayed with Gretl as I got Kurt, Brigitta, and Marta bathed and changed. Then I got showered and changed. I put the little ones to sleep while Louisa and Friedrich got ready for bed. Although I am only 11, I was acting like a mom for the little ones. It is very late and I must go to bed. Good night