CHAPTER 33

"Clocks slay time… time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels: only when the clock stops does time come to life."

William Faulkner.

His illness lasted for three days this time. At times I would go to his room to find him coughing and wheezing violently, his hand clawing at his chest as if he wished to crack open his ribcage to allow air into his lungs. There would be spider-lily blossoms on the napkins he used to cough in- the dark, congealed blood his lungs was producing. I wanted to ask him what the cause of his ailment was but for some reasons, I was afraid. He didn't seem all that eager to clarify things to me anyway and I didn't want to pressure him in his current state.

"Forgive me," he said once when I was sitting next to him on the floor, dipping the cloth in the water. "For my disgraceful conduct earlier."

"It's fine," I said wearily, wringing the cloth and placing it over his forehead. "You don't need to apologize. The fever had addled your mind. I get it. Actually, I am glad you told me all those things."

"Miyuki—"

"Know what? I think I prefer your selfishness over your selflessness."

The rain outside had finally stopped and the raindrops had soon frozen into white. The winter was finally here. I no longer woke up to the sounds of rain or the winds, whooshing against the windows and roof-tiles. The tranquil silence had now submerged everything and the sounds were trapped deep under the unsullied whiteness of the snow.

"Spar with me," I told him once when we were on our way back to the headquarters after a successful mission to Kirigakure for the establishment Akatsuki's strongholds. Uncannily enough, Itachi was back to his usual, invincible strength, almost as if he had never fallen sick to start with. "We still have time, don't we? The mission finished earlier than expected."

"…Fine."

"But you are going to use your Tsukuyomi on me this time."

He merely raised an elegant eyebrow.

"Come on," I whined. "I have been dying to test myself. You know, when I was in Konoha, I wasn't just wallowing in grief after your supposed betrayal. I studied the mechanics of your Mangekyou sharingan thoroughly and made several notes with all the information I could get on your clan in the Fukuro library… and the Naka shrine."

His eyes narrowed and aura around him turned dangerous. "So you have been snooping around, looking for information over my clan," he said flatly.

"Well yeah. Who was going to stop me anyway?" I said, unrepentant and then added, proudly, "Sasuke didn't even realize that I had been frequenting Naka shrine. I was able to gain entry into Naka shrine even without sharingan, thanks to all the ancient scrolls Fukuro library has over Uchihas. As you already know, Fukuro's strength lies in the wisdom and superior knowledge of the things, unlike Uchihas whose strength lies in… well, pain and madness."

He made a disparaging sound at the back of his throat.

"You won't be snorting like this once I beat you!" I snapped. "Uchiha!"

"Miyuki," he said wearily. "Must we bicker about our clans? I thought we were past all this."

"Fine, fine," I acquiesced. He still had a way of making me feel all childish and immature even though I had come a long way; it no longer seemed valid to hold grudge against the Uchiha clan when both our clans were almost on the brink of extinction, ready to fall into oblivion at any moment. But that didn't mean that I was going to just forgive Uchihas for the lengths they were willing to go to, just for power and domination, the very thing which had eventually driven Itachi to this.

"Furthermore," I said. "I might have developed a technique to counter your genjutsu. Although it is just a hypothesis right now, not even a theory. I did try testing it on Kakashi-senpai's sharingan but he doesn't have the true Uchiha blood running through his veins... and also, his genjutsu differs from yours. Also, I did manage to protect myself, however, from Danzo's assault with Shisui-san's eyes. That's why I am curious."

"I see," he intoned. "Then I am warning you; nobody has ever been able to counter my Tsukuyomi… yet."

I rolled my eyes. "Showing off again, are we?" I smiled at him challengingly, with more confidence than I felt.

"It is a fact."

A wave of irritation flared inside of me but I forced myself to suppress it. "Well, it won't be a fact once I have beaten your Tsukuyomi, now would it?"

"Very well." He straightened up fluidly from where he was leaning against the tree and moved until he was standing right in front of me and regarding me with those impassive, evaluating eyes of his. "Let's hear your theory then."

"In your Tsukuyomi, you can control the time and manipulate it to your wishes, isn't that correct?"

"Indeed," he said. "I can make it so that fifty years can pass in my Tsukuyomi within a span of a minute in the real-life."

"Show off," I muttered. "Well, that's what you showed Sasuke at that time, didn't you? Your clan's massacre for seventy two hours, over and over again."

His eyes narrowed. "Get to the point, Miyuki."

"Using my Teishi Jikan," I said with quiet sort of excitement, "what do you think would happen if I manage to stop time within your Tsukuyomi? If the time stops there inside that dimension to a single frame, your genjutsu would break, wouldn't it?"

For a long time, he didn't respond until I almost started fidgeting under his inexorable scrutiny.

"It might," he said, at length. "But I control everything that happens within my Tsukuyomi. This particular technique of yours would only work if you managed to snatch away the control from my hands. And I assure you," he smiled, "that is not going to be so easy."

"We will see about that!"

Surreptitiously, I spread my knees apart and took on an offensive stance, my eyes fixated on him. I watched him, a bit apprehensively, as his eyes bled into baleful crimson and then the dreaded pinwheel pattern appeared. For a moment nothing happened.

The snow kept descending slowly, almost magically in the misty, pearlescent forest and Itachi continued to stand there, amidst the tall, white birch tree. I watched the small, white fluffs of snow nestling in his midnight hair, over his black cloak, with crimson clouds…

Then the crimson of his clouds swelled until they ominously enveloped the whole skies. The snow turned red as well and gave an illusion of the rain of blood. The cold air around me had condensed into something darker, more foreboding and unconsciously, I began shuddering. Suddenly, it was hard for me to breathe. Was this the power of his Tsukuyomi?

Trying to ignore the sudden heaviness in my body and the sinister ambience surrounding me, I forced myself to knit my hands together in the hand-signs, my numb brain grasping for all the information I had so meticulously gathered… "Teishi Jikan!" I whispered.

Nothing happened.

Despite myself, I began to panic. Had I somewhere gone wrong in my calculations?

"Teishi Jikan!"

Still nothing.

Suddenly, my eyes fell on a crow perched on one of the branches of the black birch trees. It cawed and its voice echoed eerily in the deathly silence of this terrifying dimension. "Itachi?" I whispered.

The crow appraised me coldly with its ruby-red eye.

"Don't let me out of here, you hear me?" I declared. "Not until I break free myself. I have to get this right no matter what, even if it means you get to torture me, okay?"

Just then the crow took off and I was left to stare at the black feathers it left behind, swirling in the air as they fell on me in a strangely hypnotizing way.

"Why?" a voice demanded.

Startled, I whirled around to find myself looking at Itachi, standing there regally, almost majestically amidst the red snow with a crow upon his shoulder, as if he was the king of this realm (which he was, in essence.) Even though he hadn't used even a modicum of torture on me the way he had with Kakashi-senpai and Sasuke, I still felt fearful and overwhelmed, almost as if the whole world was crashing down on me.

"Why are you so adamant on mastering this technique?"

"Did you forget?" I smiled. "I was once supposed to surpass you."

His eyes narrowed as he measured my words. "I can tell that there is more to it," he said. "But fine. If you wish to stay here, then be my guest. But I am warning you; people have gone insane in here before."

"I know," I said mildly. "But I am strong. I am a Fukuro."

And time is my ally.

He smiled. "You are strong," he conceded. "Very well, this is where I leave you."

He dissolved into this thick, stifling air then, leaving me to my struggles all alone.

For a long time, I wandered here in this dark, distorted realm, with red snow of blood falling all around me in the middle of the black forest full of spindly trees. Hours and hours might have passed in vain and yet, I seemed to find no way to stop the time even with my kekkei genkai. I began to get frustrated when it seemed like hours were furtively slipping into days.

How could time be my ally when it seemed to be siding with an Uchiha?

Almost on the third day of intense struggle, I managed to gain control of the threads that held the infinite flow of time in this dimension. Anchoring myself to them tightly and relying on the left-over strength and chakra in my body, I once again, folded my hands into several seals. I could tell that if it didn't work now, it would never work, because I was almost on the verge of collapsing, or going insane, whichever came first.

"Teishi Jikan," I whispered.

This time, the incessant red snow falling stopped and stilled into the dark air.

My eyes widened.

I had finally done it!

The time in the Tsukuyomi had indeed stopped.

But then I was falling into an abyss; I was so far away. The red snow of the Tsukuyomi melted into infinite blackness that spread from horizon to horizon.

…..

I could feel something cold and icy touch the skin of face and whisper against my eyelashes. I could hear someone calling my name as well but the voice right now seemed so far away. Finally, I blinked once, twice and was relieved to find that the snow was no longer red, but pure, glittering white as it descended down on me surreally from the moonstone-white sky. I lifted my hand in fascination and raised it towards the skies, splaying my pink-tinged, ice-bitten fingers as few icy tendrils licked my palms.

"You are awake."

"Itachi?" My heavy eyes flickered in the direction of his form kneeling in the snow to my right. "I did it! I stopped the time in your Tsukuyomi."

"That you did," he agreed and I could perceive a hint of approval in his voice. "But you didn't break free from my genjutsu. The only thing you managed to do was to stop time successfully. I freed you by myself."

I already knew this, but I had hoped that he would overlook it. "But it is still a start," I pointed out huffily. "Next time, for sure, I will beat your Genjutsu. How long have I been out?"

"About 1 hour. Postictal phase of Tsukiyomi."

"What?" I tried to sit but felt too tired to lift myself from the bed of soft snow I was currently lying upon. "How long was I there in your Tsukuyomi?"

"Three days," he said and then added, matter-of-factly, "A second in real-life."

"A second…?" I whispered, half in frustration, half in awe. It had felt like an eternity, when in reality, only a second had passed? For some reasons, it made me laugh, and the voice of my guffaws echoed off disconcertingly in the lonely, white forest.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concern punctuating his tone. No wonder he thought I might have lost my mind, wandering in his Tsukuyomi for days when only a second had passed in real-life. Only a second! This had to be a joke.

"I am fine, I am fine," I chuckled. "Just… I was thinking. The time is supposed to be my ally, not yours. You are an Uchiha while I am a Fukuro. How come time chooses to side with you?"

"Does it really?" he said, the corners of his lips lifting in a slight, wry smile.

I could hear the words he had not spoken in between. In reality, time was neither mine ally nor his.

Just then he clamped his hand over his mouth and turned his face away, his shoulders heaving slightly as he coughed. Before I knew it, my hand had crept up to where his other hand lay in the snow. I sighed involuntarily as my ice-cold skin touched his warm one, skin that shouldn't even be this warm. Again, those tendrils of fear were encroaching on me until I almost felt numb.

"Itachi," I whispered. "Come, lie down, please. You over-exerted yourself today."

This time, he didn't protest and stretched himself in the snow beside me, his head pillowed against my stomach. I cuddled into his plentiful heat, covered his burning forehead with my cold palm and watched his exquisite eyelashes as he closed his eyes fleetingly, savoring the moment. The crystalline icicles glittered like trinkets over the trees and the swirling snowflakes left cold kisses over our faces. For a long time we watched the enchantment of the silent snow as it continued to trickle down, until I felt that the time was no longer moving forward, as if it was moving around endlessly in circles, as if we had no past, no present, no future.

Just this moment.

"Itachi?"

"Hmm?" he murmured distractedly.

"You always liked the snow, didn't you?" I smiled with nostalgia. "Even when we were children."

He opened his coal-black eyes to stare wistfully into the depths of the white, winter skies. "Did I?" he said. "I did, I guess. Probably because it is so white…"

"Well, of course the snow is white," I interrupted with a laugh. "Except in your Tsukuyomi. The red snow? Seriously?"

"…and pure," he completed. "Like you."

My eyes widened. "Like me?" I asked incredulously. "I am neither white nor pure."

"You are white," he insisted. "No matter what happens, you always remain white."

I stared at him for a long time, at the small sparkly snowflakes that melted in his hair like diamonds, mesmerized. For some indecipherable reasons, I couldn't ask him what he meant by that. He was like an iceberg floating in the seas; just when I felt that I had almost seen and known all there was to him, I would realize that the thing I actually saw was only the tip and that there was still mountain of him buried deep into the water, invisible to my eyes.

"Itachi," I said instead. "Tell me what your dream is."

Silence.

"And don't give me that crap about the peace in Konoha," I chattered on, "and how you want to die for Konoha. I don't want to hear it. Be selfish for once. You yourself showed me that you could be selfish if you wanted to be."

"…What is your dream, Miyuki?"

"Hey, I asked you first!"

"Tell me yours… And I will tell you mine."

I hadn't realized how hard it was to answer this question until he had thrown it back at me. "Oh, I had many dreams," I said offhandedly. "Once I had a dream to go to the North Pole to see the aurora and polar bears."

"Really?" he chuckled softly and I realized, with some longing, that I had missed this sound. A lot.

"And you already know this one. I wanted to surpass you, you know, make those testy, orthodox ancestors of mine and my grandmother proud of me. But more than anything else, I wanted to know what it felt like to have a true family... I guess you already know that one as well… And now, I want Konoha to acknowledge your sacrifice. I want to see what kind of Hokage you would make."

"The last one is just foolish, Miyuki." He closed his eyes and smiled slightly. "But fair enough, I will tell you my mine then. I dream that one day you, Sasuke and I could go back to Konoha and live there freely."

"…That's a nice dream," I allowed, beaming. "Not as 'foolish' as mine apparently are."

He didn't respond.

"You know," I said after a while, a bit fearfully. "It could still happen. Your dream… It could still come true. You don't have to die at the hands of Sasuke if we tell him the truth. Then if only we tell Konoha the whole truth... If only Danzo is out of the way. Then we can go back to our home as free, loyal shinobis. We three had always belonged to Konoha anyway. There can still be future."

I realized that I was unconsciously squeezing his hand, waiting for him to respond.

"It's too late," he finally whispered, closing his eyes. "For me, at least. It is already too late."

I shifted until his head was cradled against my chest and my arms were around his shoulders. I buried my face in his hair, so ink-black against the whiteness of the winter and inhaled in his precious scent of snow and fire. He interlaced his fingers with mine, warming my ice-cold hands up.

"Tell me," I breathed. "I think I am no longer afraid to ask. I can take it now… Tell me, what is the cause of your illness? You did promise that you would never lie to me, didn't you?"

For a long time, we just stayed like this.

"It is… incurable," he stated at last, his tone devoid of any inflection.

My arms around his neck tightened. "How much time?"

"Two years. Three, at most, if I am lucky."

Despite the fact that I had firmly vowed to myself not to cry when my fears were finally confirmed, I couldn't seem to stifle the sobs that raked through my body as I clung to him, as if he was my only lifeline. He gathered me in his arms and stroked my hair for a long time. "I am sorry," he whispered in my hair. "Forgive me."

I wanted to tell him that there was nothing to forgive, that there was no need for him to apologize for the cruel fate but I just couldn't seem to stop my tears enough to look for the words. The excruciating pain came, in waves, and insidiously, it burned. But slowly, the snow was piling upon us, numbing the pain, numbing my body, my toes, my cheeks until I could almost feel nothing.

"I realized something," I said with my eyes closed, when I had finally calmed down. "I don't mind, if I die like this, with you in the snow, right here. I don't mind at all."

His aimless hand stroking my hair stilled. "Didn't you want to die in your happiest moment?"

I smiled wryly, hoping he couldn't see the snow trickling in my eyes. "I am happy, even now... With you, I am always happy."

Just when I thought I had fallen asleep, I heard him. "Me too," he said. "With you, I am happy as well; if this is, indeed, what you call happiness."

….

Nori-san seemed to know about Itachi's mysterious illness in detail. According to her, it was some kind of autoimmune vasculitis.

"It's his own antibodies," she droned, straight-faced, as if she was quoting something from medical textbooks. "Sometimes, very rarely, such antibodies develop and start destroying a part of one's own body. In Itachi-san's case, these antibodies seem to be attacking the blood vessels in his lungs. Insidiously, it would lead to the development of respiratory insufficiency, acute respiratory distress syndrome. Eventual multi-organ failure."

And then death.

"So… So, there is no cure?" I whispered sadly, trying to ignore the stifling stench of antiseptics lingering in the air.

"I have already put him on steroids," she said patiently, "and every three months, he needs to undergo surgery to clear off his chakra pathways and to remove the hemorrhaging blood from his lungs. This procedure prolongs his life-expectancy somewhat, but only to an extent. As of yet, we haven't been able to find the cure. Also, the treatment depends a lot on the patient as well and I cannot say that Itachi-san has been one of the most compliant ones. He frequently ignores the surgery schedules and sometimes forgets to take the medicine."

"What about Tsunade-sama though?" I said after a while, unable to keep the note of desperation from my voice. "Perhaps, she can—"

If only Obaa-san was alive…

Annoyance flickered in her eyes. "I have already read Lady Tsunade's journals and haven't come across anything related to this particular disease. And moreover, do you really think that Akatsuki members could possibly be allowed to associate with the Hokage, girl? You do realize that Itachi-san is the S-class criminal. She would cut his head off rather than healing him."

I didn't say anything.

"What relation do you have with Itachi-san anyway?"

"I am his ally," I said automatically and then got up. "Thank you for the information, Nori-san. And don't worry; I will make sure that Itachi-san takes all his medicine from now on, even if it means I have to shove it down his throat."

I felt strangely disconnected from everything as I made my way out of the infirmary, almost as if I was trapped in some nightmare. It was ironic, that someone like Itachi, one of the greatest and the most powerful shinobis to have ever lived would be vanquished by some disease rather than being defeated on the battlefield. But then again, it was strangely fitting as well. No man could possibly conquer him anyway. There was reason why he was called invincible.

In the end, it was his own remorse.

That's what was killing him right now.

…..

As always, I found him sitting over the highest roof of the headquarters. Faint, milky moonlight lit up his silhouette surreally and sprinkled the silvery dust all over the contours of the cold, foggy winter night. The icicles hanging from the eaves glistened like jewels and snow gleamed on grass like fairy's tears.

Making sure I was hidden immaculately in darkness, I flitted like a ghost from one shadow to another, using my impeccable ANBU skills and slithered upon him. However the moment I swung my leg, his hand shot out and grabbed my ankle dexterously, arresting it in a mid-swipe, his grip vicelike.

"What," he asked, almost bemusedly, "do you think you are doing?"

"Sneaking up on you," I grunted, freeing my ankle with some dismay and slumping down beside him. "Unsuccessfully, that is. You looked so down, sitting all alone like this. I thought you needed a little cheering up."

"And your kick is supposed to cheer me up?" he mused out loud dryly.

"Perhaps not. But it would have cheered me up."

He closed his eyes and the corners of his lips lifted into a familiar, disarming smirk. "As if you could ever land a blow on me," he said with a teasing lilt in his voice.

"Too cocky," I muttered. "Coming from a person with one foot in the grave."

My own words startled me. My tone was devoid of humor; in fact, bitterness underlined it heavily, but just then, I realized that I had already accepted it. A long, long time ago, I might have taken Itachi for granted; I might have thought that he would always be there with me as my neighbor, my companion as we took walks over the languorous, green mountains of Konoha. The invincible Itachi, the ever so reliable ANBU captain. Even though I knew that both of us were shinobi and dying was, well, an occupational hazard. Even so.

He didn't say anything and looked at the wistful, waning moon instead, his shadowed eyes inscrutable and contemplative. Once again, I was struck by how handsome he was, sitting there in the halo of the moonlight with his dark cloak about him and his hair as black as the deepest shadows of the night. He was like the very personification of the night itself, dark and mysterious, subtle yet full of tempestuous passion, dangerous yet beautiful.

"You have three choices," I announced, wrapping my arms around my knees and sinking my nose in my woolen scarf to ward off the icy air surrounding us.

His expression remained impassive but I could detect the slightest, telltale stiffening of his shoulders as he waited.

"Choice no. one," I went on in my bright, almost sing-song tone of voice. "You go and tell Sasuke the entire truth. He would not be the one who bears the burden of killing his own brother."

Long, tense silence followed. "Choice no. two?"

"You let Sasuke kill you," I said, "but in return, after you die, you let me tell Konoha the entire truth."

Something dark and lethal flickered in his eyes.

"You do realize," he rasped in a low, menacing voice, "that if you say something like this, I would have no choice but to—"

"Kill me?" I finished. "Well, there is your choice no. 3. Kill me before you die and save your precious Konoha."

He didn't react at all.

I recognized this calm; it was the same kind of calm that had climbed over him when Danzo had ordered him to annihilate his entire clan, when he had stood there in front of Danzo like this, proud and regal, without batting an eye, his irises darker and more profound than the black-holes suspended in the infinity of the space. It was almost as if he was the very eye of hurricane.

"I know I am being cruel," I whispered. "But it's Obaa-san's last wish, to bring you to justice. I cannot possibly ignore it… Moreover, I don't think I would be able to live in a world you bought with your life as sacrifice. I just can't do it… You know, even when I believed that you were the worst kind of monster, at the back of my mind, I was always relieved that you were still alive somewhere."

Silence.

"I know that my parents died for Konoha as well, but all this time, I had been wishing that they had saved themselves for me instead, not the village for me to live in." I realized that tears were silently cascading down my cheeks, falling into my scarf, unbeknownst to him. "It's like… like they gave me a box of present to mock me because it was all empty from inside. That's what you intend to do right now, don't you? Even if you leave me Konoha, how can I possibly go on to live in a place which took everything away from me? A world where people still think you are a monster, where they exist, not knowing how much you sacrificed for the peace they take for granted… I can't possibly live in such a place! I would hate Konoha!"

"Miyuki—"

"People are what make a village home, Itachi."

He locked his searching gaze with mine. "What about your teammates?"

A wave of guilt of swept through me but I forced myself to suppress it. "They have each other," I said mildly, standing up. "Most of all, they have Konoha." I touched his head gently in apology, my fingers melting in his hair. "I don't have Konoha anymore, Itachi… I have already lost it."

He didn't say anything.

I jumped down the roof and raised my face to look up at him, sitting there with his one arm over his knee, gazing down at me with such deep, melancholy eyes that it hurt to just look into them.

"I will wait for your answer… Itachi."

…

"What does the Leader intend to do with all these Jinchurikis anyway?" I wondered out loud as nonchalantly as I could. I tried not to flinch as Kisame's Samehada whizzed an inch past my ear in warning and struggled to keep my feet stable over the rapids of the lake we were currently walking upon.

"Now, girl," he said. "Surely you don't think we will give you that information? I mean, you always look like you can't wait to escape Akatsuki."

"I do not intend to run back to Konoha. You can be sure of that, Kisame-san. Do I need to remind you again that I killed my own grandmother and right now, all the Konoha dogs are trying to hunt me down?"

"So you killed some senile, old hag who was already on her way to grave? That's not really good enough. Itachi-san here slaughtered his entire clan in a night and I blasted off all my comrades in one go. Now, can you match that?"

"I am terribly sorry if my criminal record is not up to par with the other members of Akatsuki," I said with bitter sarcasm. "If I had a family, I would have been sure to blast them all off in one go or slaughter them in one night, just to get in the good graces of Akatsuki. That, of course, is the only aspiration worth having."

"Well, you can still choose to kill others at your leisure," he pointed out, wiggling his eyebrows impishly. "But you just choose not to. I don't think I have seen you kill anyone even once."

"How about I kill you to make the point?" I snapped testily. Since Akatsuki members threatened each other frequently just to kill their boredom, Kisame didn't seem all that perturbed; he probably didn't believe I could kill him anyway. "And besides, you have never seen this Uchiha kill anyone either."

Itachi, who had been acting all aloof and apathetic to our usual bickering, flashed me a warning but I ignored him and glared challengingly at Kisame instead.

"Itachi-san tortures people in his Tsukuyomi for days and days," Kisame said proudly. "All his victims become emotionally crippled by the end of it and live the rest of their miserable lives pathetically, unable to ever recover. Sorry to disappoint you but Itachi-san shows them no mercy. And I must say, this is more… creative than just killing them off. You know, perks of having a Sharingan and all."

"Delightful," I said condescendingly and then sighed with mock longing. "If only I had a Sharingan too…"

And I would have used it on you first.

Kisame just smirked with malice, flashing me those pointy, shark-like teeth of his. "Let's see some blood today," he said slowly. "How about you kill ten people in the duration of this mission and I will tell you what Akatsuki intends to do with all these Jinchurikis?"

"Tempting," I said dryly. "But I am not quite that desperate yet. As long as Akatsuki can offer me protection against Konoha, I will continue to be loyal to Akatsuki. This is purely a business deal. I could care less about Akatsuki's true goals. And when the Leader asks me to kill, I will do so, without hesitation. I don't need to prove anything to you."

"So what about your conscience then?" he asked. "The real reason why you don't really want to know what Akatsuki's true goals are, is because you know it would prick at your conscience, right? So you want to stay oblivious, acting like you don't care, when in reality, your littlest actions right now could lead to something potentially disastrous in the future." He mimed an explosion with his hands. "Boom, a butterfly effect. Isn't that correct?"

I stopped walking abruptly. "What the hell do you know about conscience?" I snarled at him, my hand twitching towards my katana in the scabbard at my back. "You… you blue octopus!"

He feigned outrage. "Haven't you heard, girl? It's not very polite to mock at people's skin colors? There is no place for bigots in Akatsuki." With that, Kisame swung his sword lazily but before it could reach me, Itachi had already blocked it with his kunai.

"Get out of the way, Uchiha," I hissed. "Or I am going to shred you to ribbons too. I don't need you to protect me."

"Enough both of you," Itachi said lethally. "In your childish bickering, you two failed to notice that we are being followed at this very instant."

"Well," Kisame said as he slung his sword over his shoulder, not looking abashed at all. "We were kind of hoping you would keep track of that for us, Itachi-san."

"Who are they?" I asked Itachi.

"Hunter-nins," he said. "From Konoha."

Suddenly, I was afraid, not to get caught or to even get killed, but I was afraid, that Konoha would find out that I had joined Akatsuki. This was just ridiculous, since I had so ardently professed my hatred towards the said village, but I still couldn't bring myself to imagine the disappointed looks on their faces when they heard that I had betrayed Konoha once and for all. Ryusei, Hana and Shikaku-sensei.

I realized that I still wanted them on my side.

They obviously cared about me more than Itachi possibly ever could, when the only thing on his mind was Konoha's safety.

"We must get away," I said with quiet emphasis. "No matter what."

"Yes," Itachi said, quickening his pace, his sandals causing little ripples to bloom over the blue surface of the lake. "We must."

…..

I lay in my sleeping bag with some agitation, waiting and waiting, until I could hear the familiar, rhythmic snorting sounds which were coming from Kisame's nose as he snored, finally dead to the world. Ignoring the sudden tension permeating my body, I rose and looked for Itachi who was apparently on the watch.

He held my gaze with those profound, stony eyes of his fleetingly before he slipped off the boulder and flitted away into the shadows of the forest.

Without making a sound, I followed after him.

As I tried to keep track of his silhouette in the encroaching mist of the forest, I could sense that he was still thinking, but I could also tell, by the graceful, decisive way he moved that his mind was already made up and I wouldn't have any power to deter him. He led me through the ghostly trees, through the ethereal forest lit up by weak moonlight and then stopped abruptly in the middle of a clearing.

I found myself looking at the fingernail crescent of the moon swimming in the dark gray clouds on the skies, like a portent to a coming storm. Unconsciously, I swallowed. I didn't have good feeling about all this.

"Choice no. four," he finally stated, still not facing me. "I select the choice no. four."

"If…" I croaked out. "If I recall right, I only gave you three choices that night."

"The three 'ridiculous' choices," he scoffed, "I am not entitled to entertain any of them. Like I told you before, you cannot just waltz in here, Miyuki, and tell me what to do."

He turned around so suddenly that I had no chance to evade the luminous, crimson of his eyes that were now holding me paralyzed. "I already talked to Jiraiya-san yesterday," he said as he sauntered over to me, like a spider approaches a moth trapped in its web, his eyes showing no mercy. "Danzo will not harm you. You have my words."

"No," I whispered, my whole blood suddenly running cold.

"These hunter-nins will take you back to Konoha, unscathed."

Ignoring my shallow breaths and wild palpitations of my heart, I tried to join my hands together in a seal, to no avail.

"Don't bother, Miyuki," he said dispassionately. "You are already under my Genjutsu. There is no way you can break free."

And then the dark, foggy forest around me dissolved into the familiar, ominous realm of the red moon and red snow I had spent so many agonizing hours in trying to escape, to no avail in the end. Moreover, this time, he was going to fight back. I really had no chance. I shivered as unadulterated bleakness crept into me but I knew that I couldn't afford to break down yet. I had to fight back.

"I realize I have been selfish for long enough," he said, flickering into existence few feet away from me, his posture regal and menacing, his eyes cold as ever. "But I cannot allow you to interfere with my plans anymore. You will not jeopardize Konoha neither will you tarnish the name of Uchiha."

"That's why I asked you to kill me!" I yelled, no longer caring that the tears were streaming down my face in torrents, testament to my desperation. But even so, I had the presence of mind enough to start gathering my chakra surreptitiously, unbeknownst to him.

"Well, I cannot kill you either," he said lightly.

Keep him talking.

"But you said you were prepared to kill me, you damned liar!"

"Not if I have another choice," he stated.

"No!" I snarled, shuddering. "YowHoou don't have a choice! You cannot take this away from me!"

"This is the only way," he whispered, almost achingly as he suddenly appeared right in front of me. His hand lifted and cupped my cheek tenderly but I only felt cold and raw, down to the roots of my hair. "This is the last time… Forgive me."

"Teishi Jikan!"

….

When I finally resurfaced, I realized that the black, foggy night was back. I was indecorously slumped against a birch tree, my limbs weighing a ton and feeling strangely lifeless. For a while, I couldn't tell what had happened; my mind was curiously numb… And then the memories came tumbling back, like an avalanche. I quickly fisted the snow in my cold hands, using it as a leverage to raise myself up in panic. Last time, Itachi had been trying to…

Itachi.

I realized with a jolt that I still remembered him; his memories were still colorful and vibrant like a kaleidoscope, still sharp and clear as crystals that even the relentless time itself hadn't been able to erode. I felt the overwhelming relief, as if somebody had just blown the soul back into my body.

Just then I saw a figure in my peripheral vision.

He was still standing there, in the middle of the clearing, panting heavily, with his one hand covering the side of his face, his other eye still glowing red in the fog as he stared at me through his coal-black hair, as if in daze.

"You…" he whispered incredulously, removing his hand from his other eye to reveal tears of blood, trickling down his face. "You broke through my Tsukuyomi. Nobody has ever…"

Without thinking, I moved through the cold night like a kunai and before I could tell what had happened, I realized that I had slammed him against a tree and my shaking hands were wrapped around his throat. "I will kill you," I growled, not bothering to hold back my tears, "if it means I get to keep your memories in my head— I would rather kill you than forget all about you!"

Despite the fact that I wanted to crush his windpipe, snap his spine, I just couldn't seem to find any strength in my fingers to do so. Perhaps my jutsu to evade his genjutsu had taken all my chakra, for which, I was infinitely glad because in my current, unstable state, I could have seriously harmed him. Or at least would have tried to anyway.

He continued to stare back at me impassively, fearlessly, not making a move to break away from my vengeful grasp at all, almost as if he knew that he deserved this.

"Did you… Did you think you could just take away all my memories and leave me all empty?" I would have yelled if I had the strength. "After all that happened between us, did you think I would just forget? How dare you! I would remember you in all the thousand dimensions, even if the time stops, no matter how many times you send me into oblivion… There is no way… No way…. Even if I forget your name, your face, I would never forget how you made me feel! Never!"

His scarlet eyes widened.

Against my will, my hold around his throat was slackening as I continued to shudder; I could tell that my chakra was completely drained from my last jutsu to deflect his Tsukuyomi and it was only by the sheer willpower that I was even conscious at the moment. Suddenly, I lost hold, but before I could slump down in the snow at his feet, his arms came around my shoulders and the back of my knees as he lifted me up easily, as if I didn't weigh at all.

Unable to protest, I rested my head heavily against his chest, listening to his slightly erratic heartbeat. "Itachi," I whispered brokenly, finally showing him my vulnerability as he started moving in the direction of our camp, carrying me.

"Don't worry." He pressed his face in my hair, his lips brushing against my forehead. "I became unable to do anything the moment you broke through my Tsukuyomi."

I fisted my hands in his Akatsuki robe and looked up at the thin, hazy crescent of the lonesome moon, up in the realms of the skies, visible through the crack-like branches. The wind seemed to be singing a plaintive lament as it sighed against the cold trees, rendered all bare by the inexorable winter.

"I don't want to forget you, Itachi."

He didn't say anything but I could feel his hold over me tighten.

"…Fool."

A/N: Hey guys, sorry it has been so long. If you are here, it means so much to me that you are reading this story in these harsh, defining times of COVID19 pandemic. Please stay at home, stay safe and let me know what you think of this chapter.

~AnEveningMoth