Author's Note (Awoken): Hey guys! If this chapter sucks, please write your complaints to Monster. He wrote it for me since I've been out of the fandom for a while. Writing this makes me feel so fucking guilty over it so yeah, I'll try to ease myself back into HU and it'll work out eventually, don't worry. This story won't remain un-updated, promise. Please enjoy, replies to the reviews below (I get to reply!)

Author's Note (Monster): Hello, our lovelies. Awoken pretty much said everything I wanted to say but still, I wrote this so I get to write a note. Awoken came up with the idea though. He said I hadn't made them act out on it so I asked the lovely AiriaMurillo to write me a one-shot on AO3 called Shut Up And Kiss JDxCS. Go check it out. Enjoy.

The cursive lines are either Danny on the phone or actual phrases from the fic AiriaMurillo wrote for us.

"Charlie?"

"Yeah?"

"You've got a Youtube account, right?"

The bandana rapper raised a single eyebrow at the question. He hummed affirmatively but in a tone that said 'cut the shit and get to it'.

"I wanna make a funny video like the Youtubers do. Maybe we'll gain popularity and become an even more famous band!"

Charlie scoffed. "We've been to Europe, Jay, we ARE famous."

"No no, we could be… famous famous", J-Dog replied, stars in his eyes as he looked off into the distance. "I wanna do a video of us together, talking to the camera and doing shit."

"Alright, I think I can do that. What did you have in mind?" Charlie asked cautiously. Jay offered him a shit-eating grin before he jumped upright, hands in the air "FANFICTION READING!"

"Oh God no."

"Oh God yes!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"One. Story", Charlie warned, eyes stern as he looked at him. "That's it. We're reading a single story."

Jay squeezed Charlie into an overly excited hug, making the other think he was high off his ass as he walked out the room to go fetch a camera and its stand. The bandana rapper shook his head as he was setting up the camera and moving things in the background to set the scene. "I can't believe you talked me into a Fanfiction reading."

"You'll love it!" Jay cheered, chuckling and checking if the angle was right. He pushed the button and sat down next to Charlie. "Hi GUYS!"

"You sound like Danny."

"Shut up, they're listening!" Jay called out, looking at Charlie instead of the camera. His best friend smiled. "Are we going to do this?"

"We are", Jay said, setting up his computer to search for some fanfiction. "So today we are doing something very… youtuber-y and we're going to do a…"

He paused and Charlie yelled out "FANFICTION READING!"

At the same time Jay shouted: "FANFICTION ACTING OUT!"

"Wait what?!"

The gas masked rapper apologetically smiled at Charlie. "Oh… I told you reading? We're going to do what it says in the fic."

"Dude, you realise I'm not gonna fuck you right?"

"I'm not retarded!" Jay sighed annoyed.

"Alright", Charlie said, pointing at the computer. "Then look up a story. We'll do it. Just don't forget your script."

"I won't, I won't."

Jay browsed the internet when he came across a fic. "How about this one. Shut Up And Kiss."

"As long as it's just a kiss, fine", Charlie responded with a shrug. "Go."

Jay skimmed the fic with his eyes, humming. "Ok so most of this takes place outside so we'll skip that but the fanfiction-y part's in a hotel room with Danny in it. We're gonna need Danny to do this."

"You wanna involve Danny?"

"Well, yeah. What? Did you think I was trying to make out with you or something?" J-Dog asked, confused. "You crazy?"

"No, call Danny", Charlie sighed and J-Dog took out his phone, pressing the number of their favourite lead singer. "I think he's with his family today."

"I hope so", Charlie murmured to himself. "This is embarrassing enough with the two of us, let alone with Danny."

"Are you scared of Danny?"

"No."

"Then stop bitching about it", Jay said the moment Danny picked up.

"You called me. I'm not bitching about anything!"

J-Dog put him on speaker. "Wasn't talking about you, Danny. I was talking to Charlie."

"Oh that makes sense. Am I on speaker?"

"Yeah."

"HEY CHARLIE!"

Charlie chuckled. "Hey Danielthan! Jay wants you to join our devil's threeway."

"Sure, why not!"

J-Dog eyed Charlie annoyed before turning confused to the phone. "Did you just agree to sex?"

"… No."

"Are you drunk? You sound fucking weird."

"I'm at a party", Danny replied. "I may have drunk a bit too much already. What you need me for again?"

J-Dog clapped his hands together. "Perfect. The fic requires you barely conscious anyway."

"Did you say 'fic'?"

"Yeah, we're doing a fanfiction reading thing", J-Dog said. "We need you to do it. Are you coming or not?"

"Sure, be there in 10 minutes, alright? Don't start without me."

Danny hung up on them and Charlie raised an eyebrow. "You know this isn't gonna end well, right?"

"We just recorded a drunk Danny conversation on camera. I'm gonna have to edit the part where he agrees to a threesome out."

"Or you don't and post it for a good laugh. The fans love fanfiction, so give them some fuel."

"I'm not gonna post a drunk Danny like that", J-Dog objected, Danny knocking on the door. "Hey guys!"

"Danny!"

"So what should I do?"

"Pass out on a bed. Let's move this upstairs", J-Dog said, taking the camera and computer with him. Danny snickered. "Nasty."

Upstairs J-Dog looked at Charlie. "I need you to give me a rainbow band-aid for his head because Danny passed out and hit his head. You're coming to me with the first aid kit and money because you just lost a bet."

The bandana rapper nodded. Jay explained the next few steps of their acting out to the other two and pointed at the computer. "The actions, you need to remember but if you need your lines, just look at the screen."

"Good", Danny said. Show was about to start.

Charlie headed outside the room and knocked on the door. J-Dog opened the door and took the money and first aid kit out of his hands. He opened the box and took out – what was supposed to be – a rainbow band-aid but instead, he took advantage of the situation to draw a rainbow penis on it. At least Danny would be fabulously gay. Jay and Charlie lifted Danny like a ragdoll who couldn't keep the smile off his face and covered him in blankets. The singer chuckled, whispering "Sorry. Sorry."

J-Dog touched Charlie 'by accident' and pretended to be flustered which proved to be pretty hard. Charlie looked him in the eye. "Mind if I stay here for a while? Matt was watching his alien thing again."

J-Dog shrugged. But what alien thing though? When the fuck did Matt ever watch anything alien that the fans knew of? Probably caught a glimpse of his fucking weird porn.

"Sure, it's not like I'm gonna get much conversation out of Danny right now", J-Dog replied, sitting on the other side of the bed to pretend they were sitting on Jay's bed in the hotel room.

Charlie smiled. "Hey do you think we could ever get love like Danny and Reese? They still act like teenage sweethearts and they've been successfully married for years now", he asked, mentally noting 'eight years, guys' but refraining from saying it. The line confused him a little because he was successfully married to Randi for two years now. Maybe Jay only just got married but they were all happy. Oh, right… They were supposed to be in love with each other. Charlie pushed down his thoughts and focused on getting the story right.

"All I can say, is Danny is one lucky bastard to have someone like her and maybe one day we will."

"Aaaand we talk about everything for three hours until Danny stirs", Charlie said to the camera and Danny jumped upright: "BOO!"

"Stir, not jump", J-Dog chuckled. "I'll get him a drink for when he wakes up. Be back in five. Oh wait, that's your fucking line!"

Charlie rolled his eyes. "I'll get him a drink for when he wakes up. Be back in five."

The rapper got up and left the scene to stand behind the camera and make faces at them as they spoke.

"It's gonna be okay, Danny. Jordon has gone to get you a drink since we don't have a minibar in here and you can have pain meds soon", J-Dog told him, low voice.

"That was one hell of a crash", Danny smirked, not able to maintain his serious face.

"Yeah, you crashed off the bed and your head lost a fight with the bedside table", J-Dog said, glaring at him not to break character. Danny chuckled to himself, putting up a thick redneck accent as he said: "God damn y'all, that's why my head hurts!"

"Danny…" Jay warned him and the singer stuck out his tongue.

"I only sent you out for one", J-Dog said when Charlie walked back into the shot with a few bottles of water they managed to gather for the little video.

"We'll probably need more during the rest of this night because I doubt Danny will be willing to sleep yet", Charlie said.

Danny took the fake pills and drank them with a bottle of water, choking as he tried to down them. "Oh GOD! Were those chunks of salt?!"

"Yeah", Charlie laughed.

The singer drank more than he should've from the water and made a face while saying his next line: "What time is it anyway?"

"It is about fiv minutes past twelve at night", Charlie said and Danny looked at the two of them. "So you mean to tell me you two have been alone in this room together for three hours and you haven't snogged each other."

In what world did Danny ever use the word 'snog'?

"What do you mean we haven't snogged each other?" Charlie asked. Danny stared at both of them.

"Jorel, what the heck is he on about?" J-Dog asked and Danny snickered. "What the heck, Charlie? What the heck!"

"I've never said what the heck, honestly."

"I'm talking about the way you both look at each other like the way Reese and I look at each other – oh they include my wife again – and before you ask, I didn't hit my head that hard. Wow, I'm a sassy bitch."

"With a rainbow dick band-aid", Charlie laughed.

"Not like it matters anyway", J-Dog mumbled.

"Of course, it freaking matters, Jorel", Charlie said, pulling J-Dog off the bed to stand. Danny gave them both thumbs up with a creepy ass pedophile smile. "Pretend I'm not here."

"Now, tell me what that crazy blonde man is talking about", Charlie said, barely keeping a straight face.

"I don't think I can", J-Dog stammered exaggerated.

"Well I disagree with you there", Charlie replied when Danny yelled. "JUST SHUT UP AND KISS!"

"That wasn't the line."

"I know."

"Can't argue with an angry blonde", J-Dog said and kissed Charlie, tasting cigarettes and beer alongside his own unfamiliar flavour. It wasn't unpleasant but it wasn't that awesome either. Just cringeworthy to kiss as best friends. How disappointing.

"Happy now, little cupid?" Charlie asked and Danny shook his head. "No. THIS is how you kiss for a fake fanfiction video", the singer complained as he got up and grabbed Charlie to kiss him furiously.

J-Dog stared at them and Charlie shoved Danny off. "DUDE! What the fuck?!"

"Your kiss was lame!"

"True", J-Dog chuckled. "Was yours better?"

Charlie made a face before nodding slowly. "Yeah, pretty much. Danny felt like he meant it."

"Nah, I'm just a bit tipsy and you guys are sober. We kiss our best friends better when we're drunk."

"That is definitely true", J-Dog laughed. "I've kissed Funny Man like that."

"I've kissed Johnny like that."

"Kissed Johnny?" Danny objected. "Don't make it sound so modest. You SNOGGED!"

"Drunk on a bed. You had your bottle of water in your hands", J-Dog said and Charlie looked annoyed. "Shut up."

J-Dog ran towards the camera and played the video back for them. "Oh God, that looks so fucking cringeworthy."

"Delete?" Charlie asked and Jay agreed. "Delete."

Charlie yawned. "Well, what a waste of my time. I'm gonna head down to see if Johnny texted me yet. I asked him about dinner plans."

"Yeah, go check if your boyfriend sent you any messages", J-Dog mocked the rapper as he left.

Danny turned his head to J-Dog. "You did it. Nice excuse to kiss him."

"You didn't tell me how to do it. You owe me fifty bucks, asshole."

Please Review, they're our heavy fuel!

HU4LIFEBITCHES: I adore your sass regarding the anti-feminism because I totally agree. My girlfriend was a feminist (uh, we broke up a bit ago...) and she claimed she wanted to be equal but in the end, she was just trying to whip my ass and make me become her slave! Horrible. I'm not going to talk about Trump though, sorry.

WCDragonS. : It's been so long since I had trouble writing your username and I like it!

danny'sdanny: That nickname is so cringeworthy but I'm happy you liked it.

ZeroPerfection: It is real! It's on Wattpad called HU x Politics Kill Me. You might've found it by now.

guests: Monster warned me about you guys pestering the reviews. Please don't do this, we work hard on these chapters.