CIRCUS—A FMAB AU FANFIC

A/N: I know I promised a chapter around Tuesday, but things cropped up and crap really hit the fan in RL. This chapter might be a bit shoddy and hurried but I promise the next chapter will make up for it.

I am going to keep Circus's update schedule as monthly for now until further notice as college is creeping up and I want to finish my other FMAB fic before classes begin.

Next chapter onwards, I promise longer and well-written pieces. For this once, I truly apologise. RL break-ups can be so messy...

CHAPTER 03: FIRST CLASS

My automail...it isn't as if I am ashamed of it. I did not detest it or anything.

Automail helped me walk, it gave me my life back. If this was the price I had to pay to see my brother smile again, I would pay it a hundred times over.

But the world is crap...the kids are the shittiest of the lot. Teacher enrolled us into a nearby school, saying we should spend some time hanging around kids our age. I could see Al enjoyed it—I mean, for how long can I be his sole companion? But they avoided me.

At first, I thought it was mere shyness. The south hadn't seen the war, hadn't seen the eastern rebellion tear our country apart. They hadn't seen their house burn down, their friend's parents leave never to return. For them, it was just an article on the newspaper. A topic of five-minute Current Affairs revision.

It wasn't their reality.

In the east, automail wasn't common. But it wasn't rare either. Hell, even Den, the Rockbell's dog, had an automail leg.

But here, it was as common as the moon in summer noon. I was first an object of curiosity.

Then I became a freak.

I tried to remain unassuming, reigned in my temper. I knew Al liked it here...he was even friends with a couple of boys. But one day, the shit finally hit the fan.

I sported a light bruise on my chin. The others, one had a bloody nose, another a cracked skull. Rest sported injuries on those lines.

Teacher removed me from the school before I could be officially kicked out. She didn't scold me. Rather, she gave me a hug and cried.

Al left the next day. I protested, shouted, argued, pleaded—I was kicked out, he wasn't. Guess the stubborn quality ran in our family.

We were home-schooled after that. No one needed to say it out loud but I knew—we no longer fitted in the general sense of society.

*/*/

"Automail, Bradley? And you didn't tell? You do know how Roy feels about that thing, and you made him that kid's overseer?" Maes raged. The benign bespectacled man was rarely angry, rather Roy used to point out how idiotic one had to be to be able to smile throughout the day. But today, unbridled anger shone through his green eyes.

Riza stood quietly next to him. She knew it was not the time to remind him that Bradley was supposed to be their employer.

The said man, however, looked nonplussed as he sipped his tea.

"Maes, Maes...I know about Roy and I know about Edward. That kid lost two limbs—" he began before he was again interrupted. This time, it was Riza.

"Two? That kid has two automail limbs?" she gasped.

"Right arm and left leg," Bradley answered. "Listen, you two. That kid is good, Izumi herself vouched for him. And tell Roy to grow up. I cannot spare him getting sappy over something like this."

Maes slumped his shoulders in defeat as he followed Riza out of Bradley's tent.

"I think you should give Roy some credit," Riza smiled as the duo walked back to Roy's tent. "He's not that much of a sap."

Maes sighed. "I know Riza...but this is too personal. It reminds him of memories he would rather forget."

Riza looked up at the pale blue sky. "I know Maes. Believe me, I know."

*/*/

Roy paced in his personal sleeping tent, trying to eliminate the images that were trying to play a film in his mind's eye.

A house...a house on fire...smoke...ashes...screams...a girl...yells...funeral...

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" he screamed.

"Shouting will not put up tonight's show, Roy," Maes said from the entry-flap.

"Get out," Roy said rudely.

"Yeah, I know the weather's nice," Maes said, sitting down on his bed and staring up at him.

"Don't do this to yourself, Roy. Move on. Reliving those memories will do no one good. Besides, aren't you being hard on the kid? He's new here, and from his behaviour I dare say hostility is something he's used to. You are his overseer..."

"I don't want to be his overseer, Maes!" Roy yelled, slamming his fist on the dressing table and making it's contents rattle. Maes maintained his unflinching look on Roy.

"I can't...I can't, Maes...there are too many memories..." Roy said, slumping next to his dresser, his head buried in his hands.

Maes got down from the bed and slung an arm around his shoulders. "I know it's tough, Roy. But sometimes, life throws up crap coz there's got to be treasure buried underneath it."

Roy smiled weakly. "Stop it, Maes. You are sounding like my grandmother."

Maes stood up as he saw that old glimmer return in his friend's obsidian eyes.

"All right Roy-boy. It's time to get down to business. Get your butt off the floor, we have work to do."

*/*/

"Ed?" Al began tentatively.

Ed was sitting on the lower bunk, hands gripping his knees. He could see his frame shaking.

"Hey...um Brother?" Al tried again. He walked up and sat down next to him, giving a gentle squeeze to his flesh shoulder.

"I did it again, Al," he said softly. "Proved again I am a freak, an aberration to nature."

Al sighed. "Brother, you know it's not like that. You are not a freak. Those kids who said that...they are. Why do you remember them and not me? Me saying that this is not done? You saved my life all those years ago, Brother! You are not a freak...you are a hero!"

Ed shook his head. "Half of me is dead metal..."

Al punched his shoulder forcefully. "This is unlike you...and besides, I don't think anyone here considers you a freak. At least Rose doesn't. She said that you must have been so brave to have endured the operation—everyone knows that automail surgery is worse than third-degree torture."

Ed was silent, but Al knew he was listening though there was no outward demonstration of the fact.

He saw the tent-flap pushed aside slightly and Breda's head poked in.

"Hey Ed, Al...Mustang wants you in his cabin. We are putting up a show in the evening—he would be handing out duties. Come on, quick!"

Al nodded. "We will be there, Mr. Breda."

Breda gave them both a look, nodded at Al and moved out.

"Come on, Brother. Time for work."

*/*/

Roy's tent was in a flurry of activity when the duo stepped in. Ed tried to clamp down his curiosity as he looked around. The various props looked quite stellar but his mind slowly began to evaluate how they could be improved.

A shaving here, a couple nicks there, that nail could be better driven in, the curve of the face could be made better...

"Edward, Alphonse, don't stand gawking. Come on in, we have work to do," Havoc said good-naturedly, waving them in. Al raised a hand in greeting while Ed dug his hands deeper into the pockets.

"Hey pipsqueak, Bradley says you are one hell of a sculptor...care to give the props a lookover?" Mustang said as he cleaned his paraphernalia.

"I am not a pipsqueak," Ed muttered.

Mustang raised his eyebrows but didn't pursue the matter further.

Ed plodded up to the various props—mannequins, toy houses and the like, running a critical eye over them. He saw Mustang observing him from the corner of his eye.

"Quit staring like that," Ed snapped.

To his surprise, Mustang grinned. "I am not into that, you know," he smirked.

Ed looked a bit surprised before the innuendo caught up with him.

"You...you bastard!" he yelled, jumping up to throttle him only to be held back by his brother.

"Now now Brother," Al admonished. "We do have a lot of work to do."

Ed harrumphed angrily before snatching a chisel and a hammer and settling down for work.

"Mr. Mustang...anything I can do?" Al asked as he saw his brother slowly get taken over by the love of what he was doing. Unless someone physically pushed him, Ed wouldn't react.

Mustang scratched his chin before answering. "Why don't you go and help Riza? She was supposed to be giving final touches to the posters now."

"All right, sir." Al replied before dashing off.

*/*/

Roy looked at the teen who seemed enraptured by the gargoyle, his gloved hands running almost reverently over its face. Clad in that obscene red coat of his, he almost looked like a regular teen.

Well, almost.

Roy refilled his container with kerosene and double-checked his other instruments. Unlike what others believed, he had a healthy respect for fire. For he had seen it take away lives right in front of him.

"This one's off balance, the other two need finishing. Have clay or plaster of paris or something on those lines?" Ed called, his eyes still fixed on the inanimate object.

Roy saw one of the attendants hand him a small sack of the white powdery substance.

He tried to eliminate what his mind wanted to see...a teen with shaggy black hair and blue eyes...automail...

Edward was nothing like him. Janus wasn't short, for starters.

A smirk crept up his face, the tension leaving his shoulders. Edward wasn't Janus, nor was he Aria. He was someone completely different.

Roy went back to cleaning his instruments and setting them in his bag. As callous as it might sound, Janus and Aria were a part of the past which could not be brought back. And he couldn't afford to waste his future thinking about it.

"Who's Aria?" asked someone standing behind him.

Roy swivelled his neck, almost cricking it.

"What are you doing, sneaking up on me like that?" he snorted. "Or maybe you are so small, I tend to miss you."

"For the last time, jerk, I am not short. Move your geriatric butt so that I can get the gloves," Edward snorted back.

Roy looked down on what he was sitting. A pink rubber finger wiggled back.

"Who's Aria?" Edward asked, curiosity evident from his voice.

"Curiosity killed the cat, you know," Roy evaded, trying to keep his voice light.

"I have a younger brother who has done a PhD in the art of evasion so stop acting like a smartass. Spill," he pressed on.

Roy sighed—this kid never knew to give up.

"Before coming here, I used to live in an orphanage. Me, Riza and Maes. Never knew my parents, just that mother was supposedly from Xing." Roy pointed his eyes. "Which could explain my exotic features."

"Aria and Janus were twins who were best friends with us three. Five of us were inseparable; orphanages are no fun places but we managed to squeeze out some enjoyment from the otherwise dreary lives." Roy stared up at the faded ceiling of the practice tent, a small smile on his face.

"What made you come here?" Edward asked, all animosity forgotten as he sat down on an upturned box. Roy followed suit, occupying the one in front of him.

"Our orphanage was in the countryside, no human soul around for miles. That didn't bother us...we were happy with what we had. But that night..." Roy choked, unable to continue. He wasn't narrating the incident to Edward anymore. The visions were clear as crystals in front of his eyes, and if he tried, he could smell the smoke.

The arsonists who lit fire to the already dilapidated building. The shouts of the kids who were inside. His trembling hands as they gripped the shoulders, brain screaming but limbs immobile. The fact that slowly sunk in, that he was the only one outside.

I have to do something...Riza, Maes, Aria, Janus...they are all inside!

He ran in. Flames burnt welts on his skin, smoke stung his eyes.

"ARIA! JANUS! RIZA! MAES!" the boy shouted. Roy saw his younger, scraggly self run around in the inferno as he searched for life. He saw the teenaged Maes barrelling into him—the duo pulling out an unconscious Riza from underneath a fallen beam.

A shine of automail...Janus waving weakly...

Janus' right automail arm cherry red due to heat...his very limb burning away his very life.

He saw himself scream...he saw Maes drag him out. He saw Aria, her long dark hair looking as if engulfed in molten metal...her angelic smile...

I love you, Roy...live...she mouthed...

"Hey...bastard! You with me?"

Roy blinked. He felt his shoulders shaken a bit roughly...it was Edward.

"Pretty bad shit, I must say," the blond said slowly. "Automail can do that...Winry warned me to stay away from fire. Metal and heat are a killer combo."

A small, rueful smile lifted the corners of his lips. "I guess you are not that much of a bastard after all, though you have your crap points. I guess I could give you a bit of a leeway there."

Roy sat silently, drinking in his words. "We should get back to work. The first show is within an hour. This should conclude your first class in here."

Edward stood up, dusting the behind of his cloak. "First class, eh? I wonder how's the second going to be." He smirked. "Hope not as teary-eyed as yours."

Roy stared. Then saw his shit-eating grin.

"But we cannot let someone as young as you listen to the R-rated details now, can we?" Roy smirked back.

And waited. Three, two, one...

He wasn't disappointed.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE WOULD DROWN IN A BEETLE'S TEAR DROP?!" Edward yelled, making everyone in the vicinity jump.

A/N: A review if you can?