Reliability

By: Aviantei

1—Stairwell

The sky, at that time, was a certain shade of blue.

Megumi took a deep breath before she opened up the door. Peeking around its edges, the girl was able to determine that the rooftop was empty, something she was infinitely thankful for. Unlike her middle school, the rooftop at Rakuzan was usually abandoned during lunchtime, making it the perfect place to disappear to. Going to the school store just because there hadn't been food to make dinner and lunch at home was about as much adventure as Megumi could handle for the day.

She closed the door behind her, not for the first time wishing she had access to the key. Even though nobody seemed to ever come up to the roof, that didn't mean someone else wouldn't try it on a whim. Just the thought of having to strike up casual conversation with a stranger was enough to make Megumi feel nauseous. Pushing the thoughts out of her mind, Megumi walked to the opposite end of the roof and sat down, resting her back against the fence.

She didn't know what she had picked for lunch; she had just scraped up something, gave the woman at the register her yen, and left as soon as possible. Megumi ate on autopilot, her neck slowly craning back to look up. The food tasted good for lunchroom fare—as expected of Rakuzan's reputation—but that was irrelevant. The sky was clear of any clouds, an inverse ocean resting above the rooftop. Megumi stopped midway in taking a drink, lowering the carton back down to the ground at her side.

"Hey."

There was no answer. A few other students called out to each other in the courtyard below, but none of it was meant for Megumi. She could tell she wasn't smiling, and tried her best to even out the frown that was steadily forming on her features. It didn't work, and Megumi abandoned the activity in favor of continuing to speak.

"You know, I'm really starting to wonder if this whole thing is even worth it," she said, a heavy sigh following her words. "I keep trying to get out there and try new things, but I choke up way too easily. I mean, I can't even talk to other people. Right now's the only time when I can even say anything about myself and even then…"

Megumi looked down for a minute, taking a small bite from what was left of her sandwich. She chewed slowly, taking a thoroughness with her energy intake that was completely unnecessary. Swallowing, she looked back up.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Maybe I am trying to go too hard too fast." She took a sip from her drink, the liquid working its way through the provided straw. "It's really okay if I don't end up with friends this quickly. The fact that I'm even trying is worth something, right? I just gotta keep trying and eventually I'll end up better…that's gotta be it…"

When it came down to it, Megumi's tone was less than convincing. She knew that, and if she had actually been talking to another person, they would have known it, too. As it was, there was no one to call her out on her bluff except herself, and the girl couldn't work up the courage to say it. The one-sided rooftop conversation concluded at the same dead-end as always.

"Kaizuto Megumi, please report to the guidance counselor's office. Again, Kaizuto Megumi…"

The girl in question let out a long sigh after finishing off her juice box. It had seemed that today the rooftop had the extra advantage of letting her avoid any stares or whispers she would have gotten in the classroom due to the announcement over the PA system.

"Guidance counselor, what's that about?" she asked, staring at the clouds. After a moment of silence, she let out another sigh. Megumi crumbled up the remains of her lunch and shoved it into the bag the school store employee had given her with her purchase. She stood up, making a one-handed attempt to straighten out her skirt. "It's not even the end of the first trimester. It's a bit too early to be needing to think about my future. I am just a first-year after all…"

By herself, Megumi wasn't capable of coming up with a proper explanation. All the ordinary things that kids got called into guidance counselors for—shoddy attendance, a plethora of failing grades—were non-issues for her. There was a chance it had to do with the fact that she spent most of her lunch periods on the roof. Maybe the place was empty because no one was supposed to be up there.

"…Still, hanging out on the roof hardly makes one a delinquent. Besides, if they didn't want anyone up here, they could just lock it up," she muttered. "Plus a teacher could handle something like that, so why the counselor? Really, it's more of a question of why than who…" After a further period of consideration, Megumi was forced to admit that she really had no idea.

"And since that's the case, all I really can do is go and ask."

At this rate, she would probably end up being late for class. She had already eaten her lunch, though, so it wasn't like she had a use for the time she had left. The only thing Megumi was really accomplishing on the roof was avoiding others.

After taking one last look at the sky, Megumi left through the door she had come in, trash in her hands. The stairwell was almost as peaceful as the rooftop, and her footsteps were the only thing that broke the silence. Taking the stairs on autopilot, Megumi stared out the windows, which were free of any smudges whatsoever. In a school like this, even the stairs were kept in impeccable shape.

Megumi's arm collided with the shoulder of a boy she hadn't noticed, sending the trash bag down the stairs until it landed at his feet. Megumi almost jumped backwards up the stairs in an attempt to give her collision partner some space. She kept her mouth shut until she was certain that she wouldn't stutter.

"I'm sorry," she offered.

The boy she had run into scoffed, and Megumi winced. His frown wasn't helping, either. Her nervousness disappeared once she was able to look at him, though. His hair had to be the most eye-catching part of him—a startling red beyond what she was used to—but she was quickly proven wrong. It was his eyes, narrowed in irritation, one the same color as his hair, the other a golden yellow. It was Megumi's first time seeing heterochromia outside of fiction, and she ended up staring without meaning to.

"Don't look me in the eyes," the boy said.

"Huh?"

If Megumi hadn't known better, she would have called this the beginning of some novel or manga—or at least a dream that was imitating one. The boy's tone was too calm to be called insecure, which started to put him into the 'enigmatic character' category. However, the reality of it was that he was wearing the male counterpart to Megumi's uniform, marking him as just another high school student, no matter how strange his words were.

But then why does it feel like I'm being ordered around?

"Pay more attention to where you're going," the boy continued. Megumi blinked with the utterance of the words, just then realizing that she was intent on looking anywhere but his face.

"You didn't notice me, either," Megumi countered before she could stop herself. Now that she was conscious of it, it was difficult to look at his face without her attention being drawn to his eyes. The task consumed enough of her energy that there was no room for nervousness. "Can't you just take it as we're both at fault and move on?" Deciding that it wasn't worth the effort, Megumi looked back to his mismatched eyes anyway. The boy's frown deepened a bit further, but Megumi pressed on. "I'm sure we both don't want to waste what's left of our lunch on a silly argument like this."

Not to mention that she was supposed to be in the guidance counselor's office by now. If this kept up, the faculty would probably think she was avoiding the issue, and that would just cause more trouble. Letting that get out, though, was the last thing Megumi wanted, so she kept the words to herself, even if they could have helped her argument.

Without any prelude to the motion, the boy went to walk up the steps again, passing her. "You're not even worth wasting time on."

Megumi turned around. Even though it was better that the conversation was over, she still wasn't satisfied with how it had ended. However, the boy had already disappeared from view, the door to the second floor closing with a slam. Megumi sighed again, going to pick up her ball of trash from the steps. She didn't even know what she would have said if the boy had given her the chance to retort. It was better to let it go. But more importantly…

Did I really just say all that out loud? That was unreal!

The guidance counselor, Yamada-sensei, was a fairly pretty woman in her early thirties, professionalism embodied with her dark hair tied up in a bun and glasses set over her eyes, which was giving Megumi trouble reading the woman's expression. Yamada smiled and gestured for the student to take a seat across from her. A teacup sat on the desk, steaming.

"Kaizuto-san, how have you been?" the counselor asked, pushing the tea across to Megumi. "Would you like any sugar?"

"No, thank you," Megumi declined, intentionally leaving the first question unanswered. It was meant more as a rhetorical question anyway. However, even those three words managed to come out slightly stiff, causing their speaker to bite her lip.

Yamada only nodded and rested her head on folded hands. Despite the glare coming off the older woman's glasses, Megumi knew she was being stared at. Yamada didn't say a word, and Megumi couldn't bring herself to. She drank from the teacup to avoid speaking.

It's bitter.

No matter how much Megumi was regretting her hasty decision at the moment, she didn't let it show. Yamada smiled.

"I can tell you have no idea why you're here, Kaizuto-san," she said. Megumi nodded and placed the cup back on the desk. "To be honest, I didn't expect to be calling you here, either. Your grades and attendance have been exceptional, particularly for a student who is living on their own for the first time."

That eliminated any normal issues. In accordance with Megumi's earlier logic, there was no reason for this counselor visit. "Then why?" she asked, a bit too quiet to be heard. "I mean, why am I being called down if there's really no problem?"

"Except there is a problem, Kaizuto-san," Yamada interjected. Megumi felt the apprehension form a coil in her stomach and start to push sweat onto her palms. She tried to look natural while wiping it on the sides of her skirt. "Forgive us if we're wrong, but your teachers have noticed that you don't seem to interact with any of your peers. You're not currently registered in any club activities, either."

Ah, there it was. Megumi should have known that this was the problem. It had always been like that, though no one had ever really called her out on it. Before, it was easy, because she could use the excuse of prioritizing studies and family, but now—

"This may seem a bit personal, but do you have any friends outside of school?" Yamada continued. Megumi defaulted to honesty, since it took the least amount of work, shaking her head before she realized it would have been better to lie. "And according your records, your family lives quite far away, too. So it would seem that my colleagues' concerns about your lack of social interaction were correct, then."

Megumi couldn't retort. Because it was true. Other than what was necessary for classes and cleaning duties, Megumi hadn't talked with another member of the Rakuzan student body, and she definitely hadn't given them a chance to talk to her, either. Even stretching her memory, she couldn't remember learning anyone's name.

When it came down to it, she was alone.

But that's okay because that's what's easiest, so why does it matter, why can't you just ignore me like everyone else, I'm fine, I'm—

You're not even worth wasting time on, the boy in the stairwell had said.

Exactly.

Yamada's nails tapped against the desk. They looked manicured, and Megumi wondered if they were built to withstand the action or if they would fall apart. "It is Rakuzan's duty as a school to provide our students with the best experience they can possibly have and give them every opportunity it takes to grow into successful young adults." Megumi understood immediately. "As such, we can't ignore a case like yours. I want to help you, Kaizuto-san, so you can go ahead into the future that you want, no matter where that may be."

This wasn't about her; it was about the school's reputation. No matter which way you looked at it, Rakuzan was the top high school in the nation. The institution had a long history of successful graduates, most, if not all, of which were easily accepted into top-tier universities. It didn't matter how well Megumi scored on her tests and assignment if she couldn't function like a proper person in a social aspect.

Which begs the question of how did I even get accepted here again? Megumi had studied insanely hard for her entrance exams and had the scores to show for it, but that had been mostly out of luck. Her interview couldn't have been that impressive, either, but somehow she had managed acceptance, fortune even granting her the lowest ranked seat in class 1-A.

"Do you understand what I'm saying, Kaizuto-san?"

"I understand, Yamada-sensei," Megumi replied. She really did. Rakuzan was trying to make her scholarship money worth it and deliver the complete package by the time her graduation rolled around in three years' time. The fact that they were calling her in this early could only mean that they recognized her as near hopeless, and in need of a lot of work before that day could come. "So then, what do you think I should do?"

There was really no need for Yamada to look so pleased about the request. Really, Megumi was just going along with what worked best for her. She could barely afford her miniscule apartment as it was, and the Rakuzan enrollment fees were definitely out of the question. If playing along with the guidance counselor was what it took for Megumi to keep her scholarship, then fine.

Going home just wasn't an option.

"I take it that you have trouble making new friends, Kaizuto-san?" Yamada asked. It was such an understatement that Megumi could only nod. No need to go into the specifics. "That's understandable since you have moved to a new area. Ideally, we'd find you someone you could relate to—maybe even someone that went to the same school or lived in the same area as you beforehand. However, what I think will work best is for you to make a fresh-new start and go out into the world!"

The sudden enthusiasm on the counselor's part was almost overwhelming. Megumi grimaced, but distracted herself by looking at the last few wisps of steam rising from the teacup. "That was kind of the point," she admitted in a mutter. Yamada seemed to retreat a bit from the onslaught in favor of listening. "I kind of wanted to be a new me. That's why I decided to move away from home."

It was embarrassing to say the words out loud. It didn't help that her own tone of voice made Megumi sound like a simpering elementary kid about to cry on the playground because someone stole her favorite toy. It was even less of a declaration than her earlier words to the clouds on the rooftop. Still, Megumi forced a wry chuckle out of her lips.

"I guess I haven't been doing very good at that, now have I?" she said, the self-depreciation clear.

Yamada stared for a few more moments, like she was processing something. Megumi realized that the woman wasn't even taking notes. She didn't know if the absence or the presence of the action would have made her feel better.

But did I really need to say something like that out loud?

"Well, since you have that determination, it's time to give yourself a sub-goal that will indirectly lead to you to your real goal," Yamada stated. Megumi didn't quite follow. "Kaizuto-san, you should try and join a club. Now, now, hear me out." Megumi took another drink of the tea, hoping the bitter taste would shock some color back into her cheeks. "If you make your focus on being in a club and doing your actions as a club member well, that sort of behavior should lead you to interacting with other students more. At the very least you'll have new bonds, even if they aren't exactly close friendship. How does that sound?"

How did that sound? It sounded like hell. Megumi had never joined a club in her nine previous years of education, but she knew enough what to expect. Joining a club basically meant being shoved into a group of strangers with one common goal and having to interact with them several times a week. Megumi couldn't even build up the courage to try and become one person's friend, let alone at least five.

What Yamada-sensei was asking was truly impossible.

"Just go ahead and give it a shot. Any club is fine. Why don't you try, and if it doesn't work out, then you can come back and visit me again next week and we'll try to work something out then?"

Oh, no. Megumi wasn't coming anywhere near this place again. Yamada was an alright lady, but the idea of making regular trips to a place that was built to forcefully iron out problems was worse than being involved in club activities. Here, Megumi would be stuck trying to get to the core of her issues bit by bit, and it wouldn't take long for the whole school to know that she needed professional help to even function.

In comparison to that, dealing with a club is nothing! At least there I'll have some sort of control over what I say and do…

"I'll do my best, Yamada-sensei," Megumi agreed. She could promise that, at least. That definitely eliminated the chance of any guarantees.

Yamada smiled. "Good," she said. "Well, then, you better head off to class. I already told Uchida-sensei that you'd be seeing me, so there won't be any trouble if you're late. There are only a few minutes, left so you should hurry." Megumi nodded, standing up, her eyes darting to the clock on the wall. If she walked fast enough, she would be able to make it without running. "Oh, and good luck, Kaizuto-san."

Megumi said her short farewells and headed back towards the stairs. So all she had to do was find a club and sign up for it. Hell, she could even just put in the paperwork and that would at least buy her some time. Though, as her footsteps echoed up the stairwell, the boy from earlier popped into her head.

What if…what if everyone at this school's like that?!

Megumi groaned. She hadn't just been forced into joining a club against her will. She had been tricked.

(bursts out the confetti) As promised, it's summertime, so Reliability has finally begun (and I'm even almost on time)!

To all the people who expressed their interest in this story while reading Visibility, thanks a bunch! To those of you just joining, don't worry. This isn't a sequel. It's more of a tie-in piece, so you can read both or one at your leisure. I hope you enjoy.

Ahhhh, I have so many feelings about Akashi. That's kind of why this story exists. I've also become super attached to Megumi, so I hope you guys enjoy her, too.

I plan to take a more realistic take on psychology in this story (not necessarily in the jargon sense), so there may be some deviations from canon in that regard. Nothing too major, but you'll probably notice when I get there.

Um, I'm not sure what else to say about this story other than the fact that I'm really excited and I've put a lot of hard work into it. I hope everyone enjoys!

On a completely different note, the Twelve Shots of Summer challenge is back! Wanna try to write a one shot per week throughout twelve weeks? Check it out! Wanna read some well composed one shots by a lovely group of people? Check it out! We're in the forums section, and we'd love to hear from you!

Chapter two will release on July first. Please look forward to it!

2—Classroom

The clouds, almost arrogant, know no suffering.

[POST] 060815