Chapter five - Oh, my God

I fell in love! Is that so hard to understand? If what you saw of him so far isn't enough to convince you please you do me the favour and at least try to get to know him and you'll understand! He is shitty amazing!

For Sanji this day couldn't get any worse. Sanji hadn't really meant to snap and blurt out something outrageous as that. He hadn't really meant to say anything. His plan had been to let Zoro do the embarrassing part-and here he was, the prince of dumbass kingdom, jumping the gun and practically forcing his fucked-up thoughts on everyone he knew, without even admitting them to himself beforehand. He didn't want to know that he might like Zoro for real. Well, he did not, for fuck's sake! Still, having said it somehow turned it into a fact.

Having reached the end of the staircase he nearly fell over his own feet as today's morning's events popped into his mind. His subconscious was screaming homo at him for molesting Zoro in his sleep. It was screaming liar at him for pretending it hadn't happened and for pretending he hadn't enjoyed the sensation of it. And here he was, calling himself a homosexual in front of everyone. Kissing Zoro in front of everyone had been a really bad idea as well. He would never be able to live this down.

Clenching his teeth so hard it hurt he stomped over to Law's and Kid's table and slumped down on the seat next to Law's. He was furious, angry at himself and desperately searching through his mind for a sufficient excuse for what he had done. He couldn't find one.

"Went that well, huh?" Law asked mildly smiling. Honestly, if there hadn't been customers around Sanji would have ripped Law's very guts out for causing him to willingly make a fool of himself.

"You fucking doomed me!" Sanji hissed maliciously. He needed to vent his anger-it was what he had always done. It was his nature.

"Doomed you? How come?" Law asked surprised and Sanji could feel his ears getting hot. Of course Law hadn't done anything, but having him around just felt like a bad luck charm.

"I just blurted out some fucked up shit I would never have said if you hadn't asked for this shitty favour. This is all your fault!" Sanji was growling by now but he wouldn't cause a scene. Not twice a day. He could hear Zeff's laughter roaring from the kitchen and in this very moment he was sure he would never be able to live this down.

"What exactly did you say?" Law questioned on and his politeness and honest worry soothed Sanji into telling the entire story hurriedly in a quiet voice. Sanji made sure no one could hear him except for Law and Kid, who immediately burst out laughing.

"Fuck you, asshole! It's my shitty life you are laughing about," Sanji snarled but Kid's laughter still eased the tension a little.

"I would've loved to see Zoro's face when you said that," Kid gasped between fits of laughter.

"You did well, Sanji," Law added much to Sanji's surprise. But the neutrality of his voice couldn't cover the amusement glistening in his eyes.

"Thank you. I still feel like the idiot of the year. Believe me, it takes a lot to make me feel embarrassed when it comes down to spouting on about love and shit but this is the worst possible outcome. I only hope it is worth it," Sanji said and let his forehead sink down on his arm, which was resting on the table, in defeat.

"That's a pity. You just missed Zoro's confession," Kid suddenly said and Sanji raised his head again. Kid was watching something on the upper floor. "You guys are so sweet I swear I'll get caries from it."

"What confession?" Sanji asked but was cut off when Zeff suddenly yelled, "Don't you dare show your mug here again until January, little eggplant! I've had enough of your bullshit already! And take this besotted idiot with you!"

Sanji's head snapped in Zeff's direction just to see him standing at the banister, casually leaning on his underarms. Zoro was looking at Zeff just as confused as Sanji felt. After a few quiet words Zeff exchanged with Zoro he suddenly kicked his butt yelling, "Now get that eyesore out of my place!"

Sanji was dumbfounded. It was obvious that Zeff had taken a liking to Zoro. This couldn't be happening, right? The grumpy old fart had seriously taken a liking to his boyfriend. They had been approved.

"Holy shit," Sanji breathed palming his face before he started laughing.

"What's wrong?" Law questioned puzzled.

"The geezer likes him," Sanji explained after calming down a little, a satisfied smile on his lips.

"I don't see that," Kid stated frowning at Zoro who made his way over to them.

Looking in the same direction Sanji noticed that Zoro didn't really look happy, more like he was lost in thought.

"I have absolutely no clue what just happened," he said when he arrived at their table.

Sanji could feel his heart leap a little. He had already assumed he was a little smitten with Zoro, but having Zeff supporting his feelings-in his own crazy way-was helping to finally admit it. To himself. No one else was supposed to know. Like hell he would tell anyone that he was falling for Zoro for real.

"I'll explain it on our way home," Sanji said smiling and rose to his feet. He felt the urge to touch Zoro, who was frowning at him. "Don't think too much about it. Else the moss on your head will rot." Sanji poked his index finger on Zoro's forehead, causing his frown to ease a little.

"I'll be right back," Sanji finally said and went upstairs again to get his coat. He had almost forgotten about that damn thing.

"I thought I told you to leave already, little eggplant," Zeff stated when he entered the kitchen once again. This time he had lost his bite and was finally his calm self Sanji admired so much. It reminded him of the proud pirate Zeff had been when they had first met. He owed it to Zeff's strong will and their shared dream of finding an Ocean called All Blue, where the entire variety of fish of the world could be found, that he was still alive and able to look into his adoptive father's face. He loved him, his grumpiness, his harsh ways of teaching, his yelling - it was what had made him the man he was now. Still, he hated being called little eggplant.

"I forgot my coat, geezer," he replied smiling. "Or do you want me to freeze my arse off on Christmas?"

"I don't care but your boyfriend wouldn't like it, I guess."

Sanji smiled and grabbed his coat. This situation hadn't lost one bit of its bizarre nature. He knew he would be crossing a line and he knew that he would be doing it in front of everyone but he just couldn't hold back. He pulled Zeff into a tight embrace.

"Thank you so much, Zeff," he whispered and maybe for the first time in his life he could feel a rough patting on his back. It would be the closest of an embrace he would get from his 'dad'.

"Now get the hell outta here, little eggplant. Oh, and take this with you," Zeff said slightly flustered and pointed towards a cardboard box filled with take away boxes of food. "We can't let your little friends starve."

"Like I would let that happen."

Sanji slipped on his jacket and took the box before he left. Christmas was a wonderful time. The most wonderful time of the year.

-X-

Zoro found himself hating Kid's company more and more. Ever since he had come downstairs the redhead was mischievously grinning at him without saying a bloody word. It was pissing him off. Law just sat there smiling at him with mild amusement. It wasn't really making him feel better.

"What the hell's so funny?" he growled without really expecting an answer.

"The two of you are unexpectedly entertaining," Law said and waved the waiter over when he passed by to order another cup of black tea. He seemed to truly enjoy himself. Zoro wanted to hit him in the face.

"I'm just doing what you wanted."

"No. This is way better," Kid butted in. "Though I found your 'flaming love confession' a bit disappointing."

"I was not confessing anything," Zoro stated and crossed his arms in front of his chest in defence. In his opinion this conversation was taking the wrong turn.

"That's why it was disappointing."

Zoro had had enough. He wouldn't confess feelings he didn't have to the object of his supposed desire's dad of all people. This simply wouldn't be happening. It would be so unromantic, uncool and unfair to do so, he couldn't even stand thinking about it. Shit. Was he really thinking about fancy shit as romance? No way. He wasn't even sure if he knew what romance was. Let alone how to be romantic. He would ask the cook about that later.

"Be glad you know that much because I won't tell you shit about this anymore," Zoro declared and left. He would wait for the cook by the staircase where he wouldn't have to see Law's and Kid's faces any longer. It bothered him enough that he would have to see them again at dinner. At least Ace would be there, which meant he would have to invite at least Luffy as well. He was taking a mental note to not forget about it.

Slowly but surely he was getting impatient. Why the hell did it take so long to get a coat from the kitchen?

Looking up the staircase his gaze met a fully packed Sanji balancing a cardboard box down the stairs. This was definitely not a coat.

"What is this?" he asked when Sanji had arrived at the bottom of the stairs.

"Food in a cardboard box," Sanji replied shoving the box into Zoro's chest. Zoro frowned at it before finally taking the box in his hands.

"Why did you get it?"

"Because a certain moss-head promised to a certain meat guzzler that we'd organise breakfast. We can't go home empty handed."

"Oh, right," Zoro murmured. He could be glad the cook hadn't forgotten about it-like he had. And one other thing came to his mind. "I'm sorry," he added.

Sanji looked at him in surprise and lit a cigarette. "What for?" he questioned.

"For fucking it up. With your dad I mean." Zoro couldn't help but feel bad about it. He hadn't really been able to keep his part of their agreement. He had promised to convince Zeff he was dating Sanji for real but he just hadn't been able to say it. Love, that was. He couldn't possibly be in love after knowing someone for barely three days. At least that was what he thought. And Zeff had pretty clearly shown that he wasn't really happy about their supposed relationship. He had greeted him with a kick and had kicked his ass goodbye. That was quite definite, wasn't it?

"You didn't. Zeff really likes you," Sanji said. Zoro couldn't believe it.

"He has a strange way of showing that," he therefore said. Sanji shrugged his shoulders and went over to the exit. Zoro followed him.

"That's how I was raised. You get used to it," the cook finally said and held the door open for Zoro.

"It's no wonder you are such a freak."

"Says the freak."

They left the Baratie and headed home. The sun had broken through this morning's clouds and shone on them with warmth Zoro hadn't expected. It was still awfully cold, though.

He was following the cook without asking but he wasn't sure if he was going in the right direction. Zoro looked around trying to figure out which way they would have to take to get home. He saw neat houses, colourful decorations and blinking fairy lights - in every direction. There was no way he would be able to tell north from south. This damn city was a maze where the streets moved whenever you didn't look. It was annoying.

"What's with that stupid face?" Sanji suddenly asked next to him.

"I was just thinking," Zoro replied but he wouldn't point out the fact that the streets were out to trick him. The cook did neither ask nor say anything. He just looked at Zoro with an unreadable expression.

"So, we're officially dating now," Zoro concluded the events of the morning without really intending to. But he had nothing smarter to say anyway.

"I think so," the cook replied flicking his spent cigarette butt on the floor.

"What do I have to do then?" Zoro asked serious concern in his voice. This was supposed to be his first relationship so he couldn't afford to fuck it up. It would be like losing a fight-and that wouldn't be happening. But he needed information. You couldn't fight an enemy you didn't know, right? Sanji stared at him stupidly, blinking his eyes several times in surprise.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"I've never dated anyone before," Zoro tried to explain his current problem. It wasn't really bothering him that he didn't know what to do, he just didn't want to cause the cook trouble.

"But it's common sense. You have to have at least a faint idea of how relationships work!"

It was strange to see the cook getting so upset about such trivial shit. Still he thought about his 'common knowledge' of relationships. He knew how friendship worked, he knew how to be polite with strangers but he only knew love stories from books and movies. And he wasn't really fond of them. Still he was sure it was what the cook would want from him. So he finally asked, "Is it like it is in books and movies?"

"That's about the size of it," Sanji said lacking the enthusiasm Zoro had expected. Yesterday when he had been around Nami and Robin he had practically preached love, swooned over them like there would be no tomorrow and annoyed the fuck out of Zoro. But… maybe this was where he could find the solution to his problem. Of course, he wouldn't turn into a babbling idiot spouting shit about love all the time like the cook did. But hadn't he been ranting on about flowers and shit?

"So, you want me to buy you flowers then?" he tried his luck with the first idea that came to his mind.

"Hell, no! I'm not a girl, moron." So this was not what the cook wanted? Zoro didn't get it.

"But you have flowers at home," he insisted but it wasn't helping much.

"Damn right. I can buy shitty flowers myself," Sanji stated and lit another cigarette. Somehow it seemed to Zoro that he was pissing the cook off.

"Want me to take you out to dinner?" Zoro tried the next idea coming to his mind. In every movie he had ever seen the couples had been out to dinner. This simply had to be a damn perfect idea.

"No! For fuck's sake! I can cook dinner myself!" Or not. Damn it, this was annoying. He was really trying hard to find a way to please this godforsaken idiot by not embarrassing him completely in front of everyone and all he got for it was a 'No, I can do that myself'. The hell?

"If you can do everything yourself, why don't you fuck yourself and we'll tell Hancock just that?" he snapped furiously.

Sanji looked at him surprised and shoved his hands deep into his pockets.

"Sorry. I didn't think this far," Sanji relented, a soothing smile appearing on his lips. "It's just-you don't have to do anything to please me. I'm fine as things are. Just do what you feel like. No one would believe a change in your attitude anyway."

"I see." This conversation didn't really help Zoro but at least he knew now that he didn't have to worry about it. Still he kept forming sort of a plan in his mind. If he couldn't please the cook, then he could at least try and be pleased by what he did himself.

When Zoro opened the door to his apartment he was hit by a smooth wave of warmth. Immediately his skin started prickling as it adapted to its surroundings.

Franky or Usopp must have lit a fire in the chimney and Zoro was grateful for it. He hadn't been cold before but cosy warmth was something he preferred to frosty winter weather. Though it would be perfect for a nice workout. Maybe he could train a little after lunch - and if things went really well he could get the cook to spar with him. That would be quite nice.

He only noticed that he had stopped in his tracks when the cook bumped into him.

"What the hell?" Sanji muttered right next to his ear, obviously trying to make sense of his sudden halt. Sanji's body was icy and the cold soaked through his coat; the mixing sensations of warmth and cold were causing him to slightly shiver. Still, it got him to thinking that maybe there was some other warmth as nice as the heat of a fireplace. The heat of a body clinging to his, skin rubbing against skin while… he was losing focus.

"Oi, did you die mid-step, marimo?"

The cook's breath was warm against Zoro's cold skin in the crook of his neck. It felt so tempting it made him want to throw the food box on the floor and shove Sanji against the next wall to kiss him, conquer his mouth and savour his taste... He needed to clear his head. Definitely.

"No. I was just enjoying the warmth," Zoro said and paced over to the kitchen, trying his best to keep his voice and face straight. This entire situation was affecting him more than he had thought it would.

"Yahoo! Zoro's got the food he promised!" Luffy cheered when he noticed Zoro and jumped from playing cards with Nami, Brook, and Usopp onto the kitchen counter. "What is it? What is it? Meat? Give it to me!"

"Hell if I know. Ask the cook."

"I don't know either," Sanji said suddenly appearing right behind Zoro, pressing his chest against Zoro's back again and cocking his head to look at the content of the cardboard box over Zoro's shoulder.

Now that he wasn't wearing his coat anymore a soothing warmth radiated from his body. Zoro had been right. The cook's body warmth was equally pleasant as the heat of fire. That was until he noticed Sanji's hand on his hip. The pressure was just enough to be noticed, but just to know Sanji's hand was there was enough to make his heart beat a little quicker.

Furthermore, it reminded him that convincing Zeff of their 'love' had just been the first step for them to take, which left telling their friends about their relationship as the next step before they would ultimately face Hancock. Damn.

To keep himself busy he took the food boxes from the cardboard box and placed them on the worktop.

"What are you doing at home already, Sanji?" Nami asked taking a seat next to Luffy, who sat on top of it.

"Zeff just wanted to talk about working conditions face to face. Like me having the next few days off. I think I deserve a vacation every once in a while, don't you agree, Nami?"

Nami looked surprised and it took Zoro a moment to realise the outrageous love confessions Sanji normally plastered all over Nami were missing. Yesterday he had been practically worshipping the ground she had walked on and now there was nothing. He was interacting perfectly normal with her. What the hell?

And then Zoro felt Sanji's grip on his hip tighten. It wasn't enough to be considered a bother but Zoro got the message. More or less. The cook was supposed to be his lover, so he wasn't allowing himself to flirt around anymore. That was nice. A smile appeared on Zoro's lips, just to add to Nami's confusion as it seemed.

"Of course, you do," she replied not really knowing what was going on.

"Would you care for a cup of tea?" Sanji suddenly asked no one in particular and took a step back from Zoro. He went over to the sink and filled the kettle with tap water without waiting for a response. Zoro could imagine only too well how much the cook needed distraction by now.

"I'd love to get a cup of black tea, Sanji," Brook replied.

"Me too!" Chopper chirped, "With lots of sugar!"

"Do you have punch?" Nami finally asked.

"Punch with cola would be super!"

Zoro found the idea of punch with cola disgusting. Punch in itself was unbearable if it wasn't laced with alcohol. Preferably rum. Rum sounded nice. Maybe he could ask the cook for a glass of grog.

He finished unpacking the cardboard box and glanced at the clock in the kitchen. It was barely past noon, way too early for a drink. Even he knew that, even though it wouldn't have bothered him if he had been alone.

"Don't you want anything, marimo?" Sanji asked him without turning to face him.

"Nah, I'm not into tea. And I know where everything is-or at least where it should be-because…"

"I know, this is your home," Sanji interrupted him and looked slightly pissed.

"No. It's our home. I wanted to say 'because I live here as well'."

"That's so romantic," Brook sighed and Zoro snapped "Shut up!" at him.

"So you do know what romance is, moron," Sanji smirked.

Zoro frowned deeply at him. He didn't get where this simple statement of facts could be considered romantic.

"If stating the facts is what the two of you consider romantic, then you are the morons," Zoro voiced his thoughts.

"Do you remember what I told you earlier today about your earnestness?" Sanji suddenly asked and Zoro didn't immediately know what he wanted. Had they talked about earnestness at all? He stared at Sanji as if the answer to his question would somehow appear on his forehead in neon letters. Unfortunately, it didn't. Zoro was sure he hadn't heard someone use the word earnestness in ages. No. They hadn't talked about something as that.

"Come with me for a second," Sanji said and brushed Zoro by to leave for the hallway. "And Luffy, don't touch the food. If even one crumble or a drop of sauce is missing when I return you won't be allowed in here when Ace comes over for dinner."

"Ace will be coming over? When?" Luffy asked joyfully.

"I'll tell you later. Now I need to talk to the moss-head."

"So mean! I want to know all about it now!" Luffy pouted but to no avail. Sanji practically ignored him while patiently waiting for Zoro to make up his mind if he would come and talk to him or not.

Zoro couldn't think of anything the cook could want to talk about. He wasn't even sure if he had ever done as much talking as in the last two days in his entire life. He decided on finding out what the cook wanted and followed him to a door in the hallway of which he wasn't sure if he had ever seen it before. Had they built a new room in his apartment? Why would someone do something as that?

When Sanji opened the door and stepped in. Zoro followed him - just to find himself in a small storage room.

"What the hell is that?" he asked. Sanji turned to face him and switched on the light before he closed the door behind them.

"I knew you were 'special' but this is ridiculous. This is a storage room, genius," Sanji teased but Zoro knew he didn't mean any harm. Furthermore, Zoro really had never seen this room before in his life.

"Did you and the guys build it while I was gone?"

"No! It was there from the very beginning." Sanji seemed slightly annoyed and a deep sigh escaped his throat but when he looked Zoro in the eye again there was a spark in his eyes promising mischief. "I didn't come here to discuss our apartment's layout," he said stepping closer to Zoro, which was really close in the narrowness of the small room. Zoro could already feel Sanji's breath brushing over his cheek. "I came here to give our friends a chance to figure out our relationship," he whispered into Zoro's ear. Zoro didn't get the chance to ask how in the world this fucked up plan was supposed to work. Hiding in a narrow room wouldn't explain… anything.

Zoro couldn't see what Sanji was doing, since he was on his left side, but he could feel it all the better. The tip of Sanji's tongue was wandering along the outlines of his hear, brushing over his ear rings down to his earlobe just to finally dip inside and brush against the tragus. It was making him shiver to feel Sanji's breath brush over the wet trail on his ear, to hear his steady breathing so close. He hadn't known his ears were so sensitive.

"You were so truly adorable just now," Sanji purred into Zoro's ear. Zoro didn't get it. There was no audience for Sanji's babbling so where was the point? He didn't remember doing something 'adorable' either. Zoro just growled in his throat as a reply. He didn't know what to say anyway.

"You don't deny it?" Sanji asked and looked at Zoro in question who finally turned his head a little to be able to see him. His fingertips started itching for the sensation of having the cook's skin beneath them and he wanted to taste his lips so badly it was close to torture to not just give in to his craving.

"I think no one besides you ever used the word adorable to describe me," he growled just to say something.

"All the better if no one knows about that quality of yours," Sanji stated smiling and let his hands trail over Zoro's chest up to his neck. They were still quite cold but it only intensified the sensation of the touch.

"You really like this boyfriend thing, don't you?" he asked when Sanji rested his hands on his shoulders and shoved him back against the wall. Sanji's smile grew wider and his eyes glistened when he replied "Dream on" before he kissed him. Even his lips were cold but when Zoro slipped his tongue inside Sanji's welcoming mouth he could feel that the blonde was almost burning up inside. Zoro noticed that he tasted different every time they kissed. Now it was slightly bitter, the taste of cold cigarette smoke. It wasn't particularly pleasant but it wasn't unpleasant either. Zoro just knew he preferred bitter to sweet, so it was just fine for him.

Without really noticing it, he pulled Sanji closer and wrapped his arms around his back. Sanji practically melted against his body, fitting it perfectly. Zoro knew he wasn't supposed to like what he did after what he had just said but, fuck, he did.

"Sanji, I want meat!" Luffy whined in front of the door of the storage room but it didn't bother the cook. If anything it made him more aggressive. He shoved his tongue in Zoro's mouth, challenging him for a battle Zoro too willingly accepted.

Zoro heard the door being opened. It didn't change a thing except for the cook grating his groin against his, a slight moan accompanying his actions.

"What are you doing?" Luffy asked but didn't get a response. After a while of most likely figuring out what was going on their captain decided on the only sufficient measure.

"Nami, they are ignoring me!" he shouted and barely a moment later the redhead was next to him.

"What the…?" she breathed and that was when Sanji finally seemed satisfied with the result of his actions. He slowly broke the kiss and whispered "You can let go of my ass now, marimo," into Zoro's ear, still not really caring about their newly gained spectators. Zoro hadn't even realised where his hand had wandered. The cook's butt was muscly, firm and perfectly shaped for his palm to fit around it. He wasn't really thinking about another man's ass now, was he? Reluctantly he let his hand slide higher to rest on Sanji's waist. He was not yet willing to let go of him as long as he wasn't sure how this situation would develop.

Zoro turned to face Nami and her surprise was slowly changing into something else he couldn't quite grasp.

"So it's like that," she stated and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I must admit, that I am a bit surprised."

"Nami, I'm sorry I didn't tell you but...," Sanji said and obviously didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell Nami a proper reason why he hadn't mentioned anything about their relationship before, since there had been nothing to talk about.

"I asked him to remain silent for a while," Zoro butted in and Sanji looked at him with big eyes. "We were busted already, so why not tell them?" Zoro asked and the always present smile reappeared on Sanji's lips.

"But why? Did you think we would make fun of your feelings?" Nami asked and Zoro frowned.

"No. I know you will, that's nothing to unsettle me. I just wanted to make sure I wouldn't fuck it up."

"Fuck up what exactly?" Nami asked, a glint of suspicion shining in her eyes. So she had noticed the cook's relieve. Damn.

"This love shit we have. I'm not really experienced in such matters, as you can imagine."

"Love? Who of you is on top?" Luffy asked innocently and Zoro could feel all the blood drain from his face. This was a question he might have expected from Brook, who was enough of a pervert to care about such things-but from Luffy? What the hell had happened to his friend in the last two years?

Sanji's cheeks were flushed with embarrassment just like Nami's had lost all colour. So they hadn't known that side of Luffy as well.

"We didn't think of things like that yet," Sanji stammered and a new devilish plan formed in Zoro's mind. If the cook wasn't willing to help him being a credible romantic, he would just do what the cook had told him: whatever the hell he wanted. This would be fun. He leaned in closer to Sanji and whispered in his ear, slightly startling him: "We could settle this with a fight. The victor gets to decide what he wants."

"Yeah, like you would…," Sanji tried to speak up but Zoro placed his index finger on his lips, effectively silencing him. He knew the cook was at least a little attracted to him since he had felt his arousal being pushed against his crotch just moments ago.

"Let me finish what I have to say. If you can beat me, I won't mind submitting to your every wish." Oh, this so did the trick. Zoro let his fingers slide down the cook's neck to feel his pulse. It had quickened so much it was almost impalpable. The cook gulped hard and then something Zoro would never have expected happened.

Ruby drops of blood started trickling from the cook's nose.

"Sanji, what's wrong with you?" Nami shrieked and a smug grin appeared on Zoro's lips. So the idiot cook really wasn't acting but had the hots for him. But who was he to talk? He really did mind submitting to anybody but it wasn't something he would never do when it came to the cook. In fact, he imagined it as very... satisfying. And now that he had said it out loud he couldn't deny it to himself anymore. It had become a fact. An indelible fact.

-X-

Sanji raised his hand to his nose and wiped over it just to look at if afterwards. He couldn't believe it. He was having a nosebleed. He was having a nosebleed from imagining doing unspeakable things to Zoro. Having the tall and proud swordsman submitting to him was turning him on so much, he couldn't even see straight anymore. His imagination was running wild and making him gasp for air.

He was shaking his head to get rid of the images of their naked bodies grating together, of Zoro's mouth on his skin, on his… he opened his eyes wide to be able to focus on something outside his mind, and fisted Zoro's shirt so hard with his other hand his knuckles turned white.

"Sanji, what's wrong with you?" Nami suddenly shrieked and Sanji found something he could focus on. His beloved Mellorine.

"I'm sorry, I was spacing out," he muttered and glared at Zoro. "Don't do that to me, asshole," he hissed.

"I didn't know it would have such impact on you," Zoro tried to justify himself.

"Nami, what are they talking about?" Luffy asked and started picking his nose. At least for him this story was getting old.

"I have no idea," she said. "You should let Chopper take a look at that."

Sanji looked down on his hand again. There was still blood trickling from his nose and inevitably dripping on his shirt. It was ruined. Shit.

"So now you owe me two shirts, dickhead."

"WHAT? Sanji's bleeding?" Chopper shrieked in the living room and hurried over to check on Sanji the same instant.

"You need to go see a doctor!" he cried out hysterically when he saw Sanji's blood stained face.

"You are the doctor," Zoro rumbled and finally Sanji was able to get his act together again. A little. He stepped out of the storage room and as far away from Zoro as he could. This man was dangerous, he concluded. To get him all horny just from telling he would submit himself to Sanji's mercy. His heartbeat quickened again, causing another wave of blood to gush from his nose. This was embarrassing.

Sanji stumbled to the kitchen and got himself an icepack from the freezer. He wrapped it in a kitchen towel and placed it in his neck while he wiped his face with kitchen paper.

"Sanji, what the hell happened to your face?" Usopp asked when he saw him entering the kitchen.

It was the wrong question. The absolutely wrong question. Once again Sanji thought about Zoro, about making him kneel before him and shoving his… No. He had to pull himself together. He knew he was a little perverted but this was ridiculous.

"Zoro, I swear you'll have to pay for this," he growled in the kitchen paper he held pressed against his nose.

"Zoro-bro did this?" Franky asked. "I can't imagine it."

"I didn't do shit. I just promised him something. How the hell was I supposed to know it would excite him so much?"

"What did you promise?" Chopper asked but Sanji didn't really want Zoro to repeat it. If this went on like it had started he would die any time soon. Damn it.

"It's a secret," Zoro stated utterly unimpressed by what had happened. If anything he sounded amused and it pissed Sanji off.

He glared at Zoro over his kitchen paper and growled in his throat. He wouldn't say anything to that. He wouldn't accept being treated like that either. He would show this insolent bastard where his place was: It was right beneath him.

He sank to his knees and hoped he would die quickly. This situation was driving him crazy.

"I think I'm going mad," he sighed and Nami knelt down next to him, patting his shoulder.

"I can imagine that this is quite tough for you," she tried to soothe him and much to his surprise it worked. The want for Zoro was filling every cell of his body so that he was finally able to appreciate his Mellorine's worry as what it was. A wonderful proof of their friendship.

"Nami, could you please explain what happened?" Robin finally asked and Usopp, Franky, Brook and Chopper nodded in agreement. Naturally, they had no clue about what was going on. He could only hope that his beloved Nami-swan would tell them the news gently.

"Zoro and Sanji are dating," she stated the facts and Sanji bit the inner side of his cheeks to not scream out that this was not the point. This was about love, not stupid dating!

The room went silent and Luffy started laughing.

"They just don't know who's on top," he added to Nami's story and Sanji wanted to strangle him. This really was a topic not all of their friends needed to be informed about. For crying out loud, he had a right to privacy!

Sanji settled for looking at Zoro with a pleading look he hoped would get the moss-head to save the situation. Else he would commit suicide. This was worse than any torture he could think of. Worse than Tibany and Caroline kissing him-and he had really wanted to forget about that. Now it didn't really bother him anymore. Zoro glared at him and snorted before he spoke up.

"Listen, everyone, I don't really know how or why but the cook and I are..." Zoro paused and Sanji's fuse blew. Why the fuck was it so hard for the idiot to use the word love?

"We are in love, okay? Once and for all and no matter how ridiculous it sounds, we are in love. Got that?" he snapped jumping to his feet and instantly felt dizzy.

"Why can't you let me finish my sentence, love cook? I just made a pause for emphasis."

"You wouldn't have finished this sentence if your shitty life depended on it, frigid prick!"

"So this is love?" Chopper asked, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. "This is awesome!"

"I think this is a very special relationship, Chopper," Robin stated mildly smiling. "I'm looking forward to seeing you work it out."

"Thank you so much, Robin, that is really kind of you," Sanji said and suddenly found Zoro's face right in front of his. Staring at him, his expression just as frigid as Sanji had implied.

"So you want me to be less 'frigid'?" he asked dead serious and Sanji couldn't make sense of this question.

"No, I just… I…," he stammered. "It would be nice if you weren't so gruff all the time. That's all." It would be the last time he underestimated Zoro.

Zoro grabbed Sanji's hand, which was still pressing the kitchen paper against his nose and pulled it away. The bleeding obviously had stopped since Zoro tossed the paper in the sink without really thinking about it. He didn't say a word, but his gaze softened, mild amusement and affection shining from it. Then he slowly took the icepack from Sanji's neck, unwrapped it and took the wet kitchen towel to wipe the last remains of blood from Sanji's face, one hand gently holding his face in place while his other hand was wiping his upper lip carefully, as if Sanji were made of china. He was completely amazed and fascinated by what Zoro did to him.

"There," Zoro finally said and cracked a smile. "As good as new."

"Ahm, thank you?" Sanji whispered and Zoro stole a quick kiss from him. It was sweet and tender. But it was over way too soon.

"Happy now?" Zorro asked and couldn't suppress his smirk any longer. But Sanji knew the smirk wasn't directed at him but at their friends who were just staring at them in astonishment.

Smiling Sanji pulled the pack of his cigarettes out from his pocket and lit one of them up.

"I'm delighted," he said puffing out a tiny cloud of smoke.

"Is this really happening?" Usopp asked rubbing his eyes. "I swear they are telling the truth, but, how can this be?"

"He's right, Zoro, yesterday you wanted to kick Sanji out of your apartment and now you are telling us you're in love?" Nami questioned further.

Sanji was looking forward to hear Zoro's explanation, because he didn't have one.

"This is complicated," Zoro opened his spontaneous explanation. "See, I came home just to find the guy here who had me bothered for the past two years." He was turning to face Sanji. "Your ridiculous surrender was really, really annoying and I want compensation for that. I'll make you bleed for it."

"I'm looking forward to kicking your ass," Sanji countered and a mischievous smile appeared on Zoro's lips.

"I found myself attracted to him before I knew what was going on. Yesterday I thought getting him out of the picture would help me solve this problem but I was wrong, I guess."

"But how did you find out he was in love with you as well?" Chopper chirped overjoyed.

"Did you get to see his panties?"

"Can't you be serious for once?" Nami snapped at Brook and hit him in the head.

"Sorry," Brook apologised.

"Ivankov's subordinates helped us a little by chance," Zoro went on telling his story, "Yesterday morning they came here to-I don't know why the hell they were here-but they somehow tricked the cook into kissing me," Zoro explained twisting the facts so masterly Sanji had to toll his respect to him. This was fantastic.

"It was to protect you from being raped by them," Sanji interrupted him.

"Anyway, they took a picture of us kissing and I somehow ended up being blackmailed by Ivankov-and I used it to my favour to get to kiss him again-and when he bitched about it, I decided on kicking him out. That would have been the end of the story but..." Zoro paused and this time Sanji recognised its purpose and remained silent. "I'm glad Nami and Luffy butted in and kept me from doing something stupid. Yesterday, we talked a little and when Zeff called and screamed at the cook for not introducing his new boyfriend to him I knew my chance had come."

"The worst about it is that he didn't confess his feelings to me so far but to my dad. I've never seen anyone struggle for words so hard in my life," Sanji added to their story and was glad they could keep it so close to the truth.

"So? It worked. You are mine. End of story," Zoro stated and it didn't sit right with Sanji.

"I'm not some shitty property, marimo!"

"I didn't say you were property. You are mine. That's a difference!"

Sanji sighed, unable to get the thought but it wouldn't change a thing anyway. "Call me what you will. We visited Zeff this morning to tell him about us and he was surprisingly fond of Zoro, so now everything's fine," he finished their story and he was glad it wasn't entirely made up. It wasn't really convincing either but it would have to be enough.

"You turned gay overnight, Sanji? I still don't believe it," Brook mused and he was damn right. "Personally, I think it would freak me out to find myself being into men all of a sudden."

"I've been fascinated by Zoro from the very beginning. I just hadn't realised that it was love. And believe me I was not really happy about it either."

That was all there was to say. Even their friends had run out of words.