My promise of protection proved difficult to keep. Those other humans seemed determined to try to make my word worthless at every opportunity. I suppose it was naive of me to think that just by giving people food, their problems would be solved.

The thing was, there really wasn't much food; in fact, there was so much less now than when we first arrived. Now my humans were really lucky if they could get one piece of bread a day.

I thought, logically, that if the fields held enough crops then everyone could eat and my humans would get their fair share. It seemed like a good plan to me.

With that in mind, one night, several days after the three of us collapsed back in the shack with the heavy taste of iron still thick on our skin and across my tongue, I slipped out and ran into the fields. I buried my bare feet into the dry, infertile earth, walking with slow, careful strides as I made my way through the field.

In the soft silver moonlight, towers of deep green peas spiralled up to the sky, fury puffs of carrot tops exploded outwards and the pale yellow petals of sunflowers rippled and swayed as they stretched upwards. I smiled as I made my way past them, dragging my feet behind me as pumpkin vines spread and swelled and tall sticks of corn ripened under the cold midnight light.

That'll do it, I thought as I breathed in the deep earthy scent of the fields, a small grin curling my lips.

The next day dawned with a cold grey sky, and I felt hopeful as we made our way to the field, listening to the wave of whispers and rumours flittering around us. I couldn't help the quiet chuckles at everyone's palpable confusion when they saw the thick forest of food before them.

Orders were quickly given, telling the humans to harvest the food and put it in a train of wagons. The harshly spoken commands for the humans not to eat the food annoyed me, but I just assumed that they planned to share it all equally with everyone.

I complied in the orders for harvest, fingers deftly plucking the fruit and vegetables. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my Mika pick a pear off of a tree and stare at it with a strange look on her face.

When I asked what was wrong she just shook her head and smiled at me. Damn, I could feel my eyes sizzling when I looked straight at that smile.

"This is so strange," Armin whined as we pushed the wheelbarrows along. "We didn't even plant half this stuff! How is this possible?!" He asked me.

I just shrugged and tossed him an apple from my collection.

"They're all perfect as well, not a single insect or even a scratch on them!" he shouted, throwing his hands to his head as he tried to find a reason.

"Lots of food for everyone then," I chuckled happily.

Armin gave me an odd look, biting at his lip, before turning to eye the wagons dubiously, not saying anything.

That evening I went with the humans to collect the food with an anticipatory grin and a spring in my step.

All smiles quickly faded into blank shock when I saw my friends come back with only one loaf of bread.

Looking around, I saw that everyone had got the same. No sign of carrots or apples or anything.

"Where is all the food?" I asked them in alarm.

"...It was probably taken into the inner city, Eren," Armin sighed, ripping the bread into three.

"What?! But that food was for the people here!" I exclaimed angrily, not taking the offering Armin held out for me.

"The crops are being called the miracle food," Mikasa said, taking my share of the bread and pushing it back at Armin. "People in the inner wall would pay more for it than any of us ever could,"

"...what?" I asked incredulously. They couldn't do that could they? There were humans starving out here.

Armin gave me a sad look as I turned my eye to the men, women and children around us as they stared sadly at, fought over and shared their food.

I turned away from my two friends and started walking away. I kept on walking, away from their worried words, past new buildings and old, past the guards and the hungry, past everything until I reached the fields and stared out at the once lush but now trampled, sickly plants. Obviously after we had left earlier more humans had come to strip the carcasses of my work. They hadn't even left anything to seed.

I dropped to my knees and stared out at the churned up mess. There was a long silence. A crow cawed loudly across the empty expanse.

Then a noise came. A sodden thump, a wet slap of skin against earth as I brought my fists down again and again.

They do not care for living things. I should just let them die, I thought to myself in that moment.

Quickly, a shuddering queasy feeling overtook my frame as I felt that dark thought festering in my mind.

Yeah... I wasn't going to do that. I just... I would just have to do something different... Something smarter...

I turned from the now barren field to look at the others.

This time the crops wouldn't be perfect or come up overnight. That was it wasn't it. I was too impatient to feed everyone; I'd have to make it look more "natural"...

By the time I got back to the shack it was near midnight and I was covered in earth.

Armin was, naturally, surprised when he opened the door to see a mud-man smiling back with pearly white teeth and bright, vivid eyes.

"What the- Eren?! What have you been doing?"

"I played in the fields," I chuckled softly, shaking myself like one of those canine pets humans always seem to have with them.

I ignored Armin's angry squawks as I entered the hut and pressed a muddy kiss onto Mika's cheek, laughing as she started to complain about my smell.

"You're in a better mood now," Mikasa observed after she had rubbed the mud off her face.

"I have new ideas and plans," I smiled, still high on the rush of earth and beat of evening sun, "I'm going to help,"

Mika smiled confusedly and Armin sighed loudly.

"You're not going to steal back the crops right?" He asked.

I laughed abruptly and loudly, wondering why I hadn't thought of that, but quickly dismissing the idea under Armin's wary but stern gaze.

"Nah I'm just gonna help some people. You two too!" I stood up suddenly and turned to look around curiously. The other family and the old man seemed to be missing.

"Where's everyone?" I asked.

"They're off at a big town meeting of some sort, not sure what it's about. Grandpa sent us off home instead,"

I grinned at the lucky break, some time alone without the others.

"You still have my blade?" I asked Armin quickly.

"I have it," said Mikasa with a curious tone.

"Good, here's one for you, Armin," I said, pulling a dagger out from the shadow inside my battered, mud-stained coat before I took it off and threw it to the side.

"Stand up. I want you to learn to defend and attack," I explained.

Armin seemed dubious, staring at the black blade in his hand.

"Where did you get these Eren? I didn't have time to ask before but I've never seen metal like this before."

"It's not metal and they belong to me. Now stop asking questions and show me how you stand with my blade," I commanded, turning to Mikasa who had already taken her stance.

"Widen legs Mika, put strong one forwards and put in strength to your feet," I commented as I walked around her, gently pushing her to see if her stance was firm.

I gave her grin as she passed examination and turned to Armin who hastily tried to copy the stance.

"Where are you putting your weight?" I asked Armin curiously.

Armin looked down at his feet with a crinkle to his brow, then he leaned forward.

"...Forwards so I can run,"

From behind him, at my nod, Mika gave him a gentle shove and he would have gone sprawling if I hadn't caught him.

"It's not always fair fight," I explained as he softly glared at Mika. "You need to put weight at centre, look all around. Don't look at your feet, look at people's..." I paused for a moment, trying to think of the word, tapping at my eyes.

"Ighs," Armin nodded, looking at mine.

I snorted and gently kicked forwards into his ankle.

"Not just ighs. Look at everything but also keep a watch on the face. It changes before an attack. You can know from the face, but that means they can too. What must you do?"

"Not give anything away," said Armin, shifting slightly as he tried to strengthen his posture, eyes quickly flickering over me then at my face.

"Slow down your eyes, I will think you're nervous and that makes me more happy to attack."

Mikasa seemed to be a natural, giving me a calm look as she held the blade, focusing on my entire body as I moved around.

It was then that I pulled a thick wooden stick from my jacket and Armin frowned, distracted for a moment, at least until I used it to jab him in the stomach.

"Don't get distracted."

"But that was too big to be hidden, where'd you-" he wheezed faintly, rubbing at his stomach.

"Armin, get back in your stance. Doesn't anyone teach you people fighting?"

"The Military do," Mikasa said, still firmly in position to my pleasure.

"Then maybe we should go to them and get you some lessons,"

Both Armin and Mikasa blinked at this, coming out of their positions to stare at me in surprise.

"You want us to join the army?" Mika asked with wide eyes.

What? No of course I didn't! I would never risk Armin and Mikasa against those abominations.

But before I could express my disapproval of this idea, the flimsy front door started to open and my two humans went into a flustered flurry to hide my blades.

The family of four walked in, heads bowed and faces solemn as they silence sat down in their part of the hut and buried their faces in their hands.

The old man followed them, eyes downcast and hands in tight fists.

"Hey kids," he muttered with a soft, forced smile. "You been playing with the pigs Eren?" He asked with a light chuckle as he looked at me, trying to ruffle my hair again as I neatly sidestepped his hand and observed the odd twist to his lips.

"What's wrong Grandpa?" asked Armin with a frown, not fooled by the fake smile for a second.

One of the adults on the other side of the room started to cry.

The old man sighed loudly, sending the man a weary glance before pulling Armin in for a hug.

"They- They're sending us out...all the adult refugees, we're being sent out to reclaim Wall Maria."

The stone beneath my feet cracked and splintered as I slammed down once again. Cracks weaved out around me as I walked down the shattered path for- oh so much more than the hundredth time.

It was an early autumn evening; the sky should still have been a light cool blue, stained pink and orange with the setting sun. It wasn't though. Instead the sky was heavy with dusky coal-grey clouds.

Good, let it rain. Let it flood and wipe the filth of this land away! My mind hissed to itself as I threw my leg forward, kicking the largest boulder hard enough to send it to another field, taking out a fence on the way with a splintering crash.

Damn. Damn! DAMN!

I yelled out as I smashed down my fists on the last remaining boulder, again and again and again.

Grit flecked my face from the rupturing block of stone as my fingers made short work of my pointless, fury-filled occupation.

It wasn't helping though. What I really wanted to do was smash down on the skulls of those 'humans' who made the stupid, selfish, murderous order to send the refugees out beyond the wall; those who decided to have their own kind eaten alive on a whim.

Oh, all that "reclaiming Wall Maria" stuff was bullshit. I knew it, the old man knew it, everyone- absolutely every fucking one of us knew it!

Those poor bastards weren't even going to get the proper training; they were going to get two weeks of basics compared to the three years that the army were given. Then those humans were just going to be thrown out of the only sanctuary they had to be consumed within the first day; the second if they were lucky.

I stared out at the expanse of farm land before me. The earth was much more fertile; the crops would grow strong and in huge numbers but now there was no point! Those who should be eating them would be dead.

I was tempted to blight them, to sour the earth with salt and stone and hate so that those humans couldn't fatten themselves with them, so nothing could be grown on the "miracle" fields again.

I didn't do this for only one reason. Well... make that two reasons.

Armin and Mikasa would be staying within the wall, even those murderous humans considered them too young to be used as fodder.

If they had decided to send them out I think I probably would have flown to their city and slaughtered them all. I held myself back from this now, however, as, even in my current rage, it registered as a vaguely bad idea.

I collapsed to the ground, burying my head in my hands, fingers routing themselves in my hair as I growled into my legs.

The first few drops of rain started to fall on the parched earth, throwing dry brown grains of loose soil up from the small wet craters...

It was the last evening and I was supposed to be in the shack with Armin and Mikasa, eating a last meal of dust filled bread and the sweet, ripe fruit I had made for them all.

But I couldn't be there. I couldn't pretend to eat while pretending that I was saying goodbye to the old man and pretending that I wasn't saying the same to my sister and my friend.

Water started to form rivulets down my arms, dribbling off my slack, shivering fingers.

Tomorrow when the humans left the wall, I would be going with them too, to protect them the best that I could. I had no illusions that I could save them all but I would- I would be able to save some...

It was a hard decision to make. Fuck, is that an understatement. I had felt torn down the middle. I didn't want to leave Armin and Mikasa; we were supposed to stay together. I promised myself that. What if something bad happened again while I was gone…but…

I made a deal. I made a promise. Save her. I had done that now...

Save them all. I hadn't done that...

Cold, tacky mud was starting to pool around my feet as I stared down at the sloppy mess with empty eyes, my gaze directed to bitter thoughts and cutting memories.

It was Armin, in fact, who had made my decision for me. Not that he knew it at the time.

"H-how can they d-do this? He- I- I don't want Grandfather- he can't die Eren. He can't leave me," he had whispered between his hitching breaths as I crouched down next to him, hand cradling his shaking shoulder. I had yet come to realise the scale of and reason behind the decision to "retake Maria" yet; all I felt was confusion as I looked at the devastated faces of my humans.

Armin's breath stuttered at my touch and he span around, hugging me tightly as I blinked down at him with wide, surprised eyes.

"I just wish he could be safe!" he sobbed into my chest.

I bit my lip as the young man poured out his heart in liquid form and I gently, hesitantly, circled my arms around him.

"...granted," I had whispered, kissing the soft golden crown of his head, simply holding him softly, so softly, in my arms as a cool burn itched at my throat.

I came back into the present and felt another burst of anger. Not at those humans this time but at myself.

I needed to get back to my family. I wouldn't be able to see them again for a long time and here I was punching rocks and sitting in mud.

My hands clenched and I stood, sending a cascade of water off onto the ground.

I breathed out a deep calming breath, stood up and left the fields I had poured all my hopes into, never to go back to them again.

My humans seemed to be glad when I got back, Armin smiling sadly at me as I once again dodged the old man's head patting ways and allowed Mikasa to pull me down into a hug, faintly chiding me about my clothes before burying her face in my damp hair.

They had already eaten the sweet feast with the other adults (now sleeping fitfully in their half of the hut). I didn't mind, I simply watched my two humans press themselves into the old man's arms with soft, damp, forced smiles.

There was a sharp phantom pain in my chest while I held Mika as she ever so slowly fell asleep, head jolting up to tap my chin every time she caught herself. The almost-pain seemed only to increase as I breathed in her soft scent and tenderly watched Armin stay awake as long as he could, pressing himself desperately deeper and deeper into his grandfather's warm arms.

Sleep has a funny way of creeping up on people when they least want it, eating away at sight, memory and time. I could see Armin fight against the pull, desperately jerking his head and forcing his shining, watering eyes open, to keep himself from the time-devouring nature of dreams, but it was a losing battle.

In the end it was just me and the old man looking out into the dark, eyes shining with the faint light of other 'homes' creeping through the gaps in the shack's walls.

We looked at each other softly. I nodded to him and he nodded to me before pulling Armin in even tighter against his chest, resting his head against his and closing his eyes, inhaling deeply, as if to memorise the boy's faint floral scent.

It took two hours in that warm, sleepy gloom for me to finally build up the will to tear myself away from Mika and gently lay her down, bending my head down to hers to whisper ever so softly into her mind.

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you this while you were awake, but I know you'd try to stop me or follow me with your foolish big heart...You'll know this once I'm gone..." I paused to brush a strand of her soft black hair from her face before I continued. "I'm going to grant Armin's wish tomorrow and I need you to look after him while I'm gone. I'm leaving you my blades; I want you and Armin to practice loads while I'm away, don't slack and always fight for what you want… It's the only way you'll ever get it. I'll- I'll be back once I've made sure they're safe." I promised, kissing her forehead with a fierce pull on my lips, not noticing the small droplet of gold tracing its way down her brow.

Mikasa moaned softly in her sleep as I pulled myself away, but she didn't wake.

I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed by that.

I knelt down by Armin and the old man, lightly bringing my hand to the young man's head to trace my fingertips over his thin brow, feeling the soft thrum of heat emitting from him, watching as he pulled in gentle sleepy breaths between thin, parted lips.

I blinked rapidly and let out a deep breath of air as I rose.

It was time to save them all.

I swiftly turned away and left the house, not once looking back as I made my way out of the shack.

Not. Even. Once.

I'd like to thank everyone for your support in writing this story, you have all been so great. I can't believe all the lovely comments I've gotten and-

And NOPE. It's not over. Just part one is done ;D

I'm planning on making three parts of this story. I decided to do this as the next part is very heavy on original characters as Eren ventures out of Trost and not everyone likes OCs. So by doing this anyone who does not like this sort of stuff can easily skip that once I'm finished with part two.

I did really mean what I was saying at the start though. Your support means the world to me, it really does.