A/N: I suck. Just putting it out there. But I haven't abandoned this. It's only sometimes that stupid thing called reality catches up. And it sucks worse than I do.

Disclaimer: I use some of the in-game dialogue in this fic, no copyright infringement intended. I do not own Mass Effect, I just borrow the world and the characters to distort and reshape them.

Joker woke up with a silent yawn, and his hand grazed the sheets, warm and sleek. Sleek sheets? he thought, and felt something warmer and softer at his fingertips. He slowly opened one eye as he turned his head to his right, and the other eye followed. Shepard's bare back was turned to him, the sheets only covering a leg and the ankles. He smiled, caressing along the smooth line leading to the small of her back and the curve that followed. Shepard shifted slightly in her sleep with a content hum and Joker attempted to scooch closer, but the sudden pain pinned him in his place.

Ah, fuck, he thought as he grimaced and kept the groan down. The medi-gel, the booze and the better part of the adrenalin had worn off; and he had not 'taken it easy' like the doctor had advised. He glanced down at his persistent morning erection and sighed. Sorry, buddy.

He tried to make himself comfortable and not look at Shepard while he waited for her to wake up; fighting the temptation to endure the pain. If he did ignore it and got seriously hurt, she could blame herself and it would definitely play a sour role in the possible future.

He turned his head to the nightstand and gave the glass of water a miserable look before he reached for it with some agonized effort. He drank some, put it back and closed his eyes; but they shot open as Shepard jumped in her sleep and the bed shook, reawakening the dulled pain. He gasped and exhaled while she kept thrashing and twitching.

"Riley?" he whispered. "Rye, wake up."

Her mumbling stopped as she rolled to her side and her erratic breathing calmed. Joker reached out and stroked her shoulder. "Riley?"

Shepard let out a low groan and forced her heavy eyelids open, a calm smile appearing on her lips as the foggy shapes became clearer. "Hey," she said sleepily and saw the concern on the pilot's face. "What's the matter?"

"You were having quite the nightmare," Joker said. "Or participating in a rodeo in your dream. Which also could be a nightmare, now I think about it."

Shepard laughed as she sat up. "I wasn't having a nightmare?" she said. "Or at least I don't remember having one." She picked up the glass from the nightstand and swished some water in her mouth. "Did I thrash?" she said and turned to him, her eyes opening wide as she realized what it could mean for Joker. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, it was only for a minute," he said, looking at her panicked face. "Come on, don't be like that." He laughed, which caused him to wince. "Shit. Ok, I'm going to need some medi-gel."

Shepard rolled to the side of the bed and got up, fetching a pack from her locker. "I thought you said I didn't hurt you," she said, injecting a small dose of the gel into him.

Joker breathed a sigh of relief as the anesthetic properties of the salve kicked in. "You didn't," he said as he straightened up in bed. "This is the accumulation of the last couple of days, during which I was flung like a bouncy little pinball throughout the Normandy." He watched her as she walked back to the bed and gave her a lopsided smile. "You're naked," he stated, as if he'd just noticed it.

Shepard chuckled and stopped, giving him a full view of her nakedness as she yawned and stretched. Her gaze strolled over his body before she got back into the bed, grinning. "So are you."

"You can't tell me you're not thinking that this is weird," Joker said. "Because I kinda do. I mean, I'm looking at Commander Shepard's boobs." His gaze darted down. "And other parts."

He stopped smiling as his eyes met hers, the hunger reflected in them causing Shepard's heart to skip a beat. She bit her lower lip and moved close enough to feel his warmth, breathing in his scent. "This is not a good idea," she said but her hands seemed to have a mind of their own as they moved over his torso.

"It wasn't a good idea last night," Joker said, pulling her in for a brief, tender kiss. He held her face close to his, their quickened breaths mingling. "Didn't really stop us, did it?"

"It did not," Shepard agreed and leaned in; giving him soft, lingering kisses which got deeper and more intense by the second. Her warm lips on his, Joker knew he was already addicted to the taste and the feel as her tongue first quenched his thirst for her, then awakened it anew.

Shepard caressed his abs, savoring the thrill she got from merely feeling his muscles under her touch. How long had it been since she'd felt this way? Had she ever felt this way? She broke the kiss to breathe, and her hand made its way down to his legs. She began massaging his inner thigh, her fingers grazing his balls and getting him harder.

Joker shivered and rested his forehead on her bosom, his quivering breath gusting over her breasts as she wrapped her fingers around his hard length. She gave him a gentle push to have him lie on his back and her lips moved to his chest, to his waist and further down.

Joker closed his eyes and let out a muffled moan; his body tensing as Shepard slowly took him in her mouth. He grabbed the sheets when her tongue began circling around the head, the initially ticklish feeling turning into a wicked tease that left him craving for more. She stroked the sensitive skin around his balls with one hand while her lips and other hand slid up and down his cock, slightly tightening one second and relaxing the next, keeping each spark of pleasure unpredictable. Joker wanted to look at her, wanted to somehow touch her but he was rendered powerless by the increasing surges of delight as she picked up the pace; her hands, her lips, her tongue working together in a maddening rhythm. The pressure building up inside him became impossible to contain; and he could swear he'd lost consciousness for a few seconds when he spilled in her mouth with a final, tight descent of her lips. A noise that sounded like her name escaped his throat and she released him, planting a kiss next to his navel as his spasms subsided.

"That was," Joker panted in a futile attempt to speak, and realized his hand was in her hair. When did that happen? he thought, freeing his fingers from the frizz.

Shepard moved close to him and nuzzled against his neck. "That was me returning the favor for last night," she whispered. "I take it you enjoyed it?"

Joker gave her a look of disbelief. "'Enjoy' doesn't do this justice," he said, able to form sentences again. "I think I'll have to invent a new word for it."

Shepard nodded in agreement. "We might need a new set of vocabulary."

"Ok," Joker said as he kissed her neck. "So," he continued, nibbling on her shoulder and collarbone, "for the sake of research, we should recreate the experience."

"If it's for research," Shepard said, her chest rising to meet his lips as he cupped and kissed her breasts. He moved one hand down between her thighs, causing her legs to slightly spread. He brought his face to her eye level to watch her expression as his fingers found their way inside her moist, hot sex, and he felt himself getting harder again just by looking at her.

Shepard gasped, her eyes fluttering closed as Joker kissed her, his lips and tongue forceful and demanding. She pulled him even closer; her heart racing with an insatiable desire to feel more of him against her. Her short nails dug into his nape and his back as his fingers kept moving back and forth, each time a little closer to the most sensitive spot inside her. God, he's good with his hands, she thought, her pulse thrumming louder in her ears; and she let out a shaky moan when he began rubbing his thumb against her clit. She could vaguely feel his mouth on her breasts until he bit into a nipple, eliciting a lustful cry from her. She threw her head back as he brought her to the brink of orgasm, but grabbed his hand to stop him. "Not yet," she panted, barely keeping herself from letting him continue. I need more. "Jeff," she whispered. "I need you inside me."

Her low, pleading voice sent shivers down Joker's spine as she kissed him again, laying him on his back and she climbed on top, her back turned to him. Joker propped himself up on his elbows to get a better view, and his breath caught in his throat as her tight flesh abruptly enveloped his erection.

Shepard sighed as she took him inside her, and the warm tingling spread all over her body with the immense relief of feeling him closer. She began moving as if she was dancing to an inaudible music, already close to her satisfaction but too greedy to let it end. She reached down to where their bodies were connected to prevent herself from slamming against him if she lost control, and she was getting close to losing control as the raw passion took over. Joker's body caught up to hers, fire pooling in his groin as her moans grew louder and more frequent. Shepard breathed his name and heat flowed through her veins, lighting up every nerve and turning her voice into a sharp cry. Her walls contracted around Joker's cock and she arched, trembling from head to toe. Joker grabbed her hips and his own climax followed; like a concentrated mass of pleasure at his core exploding and dispersing the ecstasy to every cell in his body.

Shepard writhed against him, gradually slowing down before she stopped. She turned her head over her shoulder to look at him; both of them limp and out of breath.

"I think you need to leave," she said and exhaled as she left his lap and rolled to the side. "I don't want to cause your death Jeff, but I can't promise I won't if you stay."

Joker turned to her as his thundering heartbeat slowed down. "I've never heard a better excuse to kick someone out of your bed," he said, smiling as wide as his numbed muscles allowed. "But yeah, I really, really wouldn't want to explain the new injuries to the doc."

"You need another dose?" she asked, and chuckled as she saw his expression. "Of medi-gel, jackass. Another dose of medi-gel."

"Nah, I'm good for now," he said and sat up, playing with her copper colored locks. "Hey, can I use your shower or would you have me stroll around the mess, proudly smelling of sex?"

"The mess," Shepard murmured. That's right, we're aboard the Normandy, I'm Commander Shepard, we still have a lot of work to do, and a galaxy to save. She looked at the time. Huh. We didn't really sleep much after all. "Coffee."

"Um, ok, I guess I'll be in the shower while you rearrange whatever wires you had jumbled," Joker said and got up. He huffed to himself, not too happy to have her watch while he half-walked, half-limped to the bathroom. He stopped at the door and glanced at her, his insecurity evaporating as he saw the look on her face. Well, I don't think she minds.

Shepard straightened halfway and tilted her head to the side, watching him go until he disappeared through the door. She sighed and got out of the bed, collecting her clothes off the deck as she heard the sound of water running. Nope, she thought, imagining Dr. Chakwas scolding the both of them. Will not follow him there.

Joker stepped out of the bathroom a few minutes later, Shepard's towel around his waist. Shepard picked up a new one and walked to him, running her hand through his wet hair. He wrapped his arms around her naked body, pulled her close and kissed her neck with a deep breath.

Shepard inhaled the smell of soap on his warm, damp skin and lifted her head to look at his face. He smiled, his features relaxed with an uncharacteristic calm. Her insides leapt and her heart clenched, knowing what it was that she felt but still afraid to put it into words and make it real. She pressed her lips lightly on his; not quite a kiss but more like a soft touch, only for herself.

"We'll have to leave this room at some point," she said.

"Yeah," Joker unwillingly agreed. "A lot of work to do." He let her go, hating each second he spent not touching her. "I'll have the coffee ready."

Shepard smirked. "You must really like me," she said. "You'll go into the lair of those gossip-hungry beasts?"

"Shit, I hadn't thought of that," Joker whined. "But no one knows anything anyway… Right?" His shoulders dropped in defeat. "Oh, crap."

"A promise is a promise Moreau. There better be fresh coffee."

"Fine," the pilot said. "You can come by and retrieve my exsanguinated corpse later."

When Shepard stepped out of the shower, Joker and his clothes were gone. She dried herself and got dressed; humming a tune she didn't even remember where she'd heard. Can't we forget about everything and keep doing this, just for a little while? she thought, and the immediate reply came from EDI.

"Shepard, you have an incoming call from the Alliance Headquarters."

Wonderful timing, Shepard thought, walking to her private terminal. "Patch it through EDI," she said and brought up the display.

Admiral Hackett's face appeared on the screen. "Commander," he began. "Thank you for your time. I'll keep this brief. We have a deep-cover operative out in batarian space. Name's Dr. Amanda Kenson. Dr. Kenson recently reported she found evidence of an imminent reaper invasion."

Shepard paced back and forth as she listened. Deep cover Alliance operative. In batarian space. Investigating the reapers; the threat they'd been denying? This can't be anything good.

"So why call me?" she asked.

"I received word that the batarians arrested her. They're holding her in a secret prison outpost on terrorism charges. I need you to infiltrate the prison and get her out of there."

Terrorism charges? Shepard thought. The batarians aren't known for their love for humans but what could she have done to be accused of terrorism?

"What was she actually doing out there Admiral?"

"She's a deep-cover operative, Shepard. We talk only when we have to. I'd heard she was investigating a rumor of a reaper artifact in the system. Her last report said she'd found it."

"I thought the Alliance denies the reaper threat," Shepard said, maybe with a hint of bitterness. "That must be some proof she found."

"Kenson's team found an artifact out in batarian space. She believes it's a reaper device, proof that the reapers are indeed planning to invade." The admiral paused. "She and I go back pretty far," he said. "If she says she has proof, it's worth checking out."

"And the Alliance can't sanction an official extraction," said the commander. "I get the picture, Admiral. But if time is of the essence, I'll have to regretfully inform you that the Normandy is in no shape for that kind of distance."

"It's not ideal," Hackett said. "But the batarians will keep her alive as long as they can for interrogation. Go when you're ready, Shepard. And as a favor to me, I'm asking you to go in alone."

"I have two infiltration specialists in my squad," Shepard said. "They might help."

"Kenson is my friend, Commander," said the admiral. "Don't take any unnecessary risks. If the batarians see you, they will kill her. Go in with discretion, or don't go at all."

"I understand. I'll make this a priority." Proof of reaper invasion huh? I'd be surprised if I didn't get involved somehow.

"The prison is hidden underground at a batarian outpost on Aratoht. I'll upload the coordinates now. Once she's secure, confirm her discovery. We'll debrief you when you're back."

"Got it."

"And Commander," the Admiral said. "Good job with the collectors."

"Thank you, sir."

"Hackett out."

Shepard deactivated the display and let out a huff as she rubbed her temples.

"EDI," she said, bringing up the AI's interface. "I need Joker and the team in the briefing room in ASAP. Let me know when everybody's there."

"As you wish, Shepard."

Shepard entered the briefing room, and smiled as she smelled the fresh coffee.

"Thanks," she whispered, walking past Joker.

"Wasn't easy," Joker whispered back, and Jack sniggered next to him. "Shut up," he hissed.

"I know the designated downtime hasn't officially ended," Shepard said, taking her place at the table. "Sorry for the rude awakening. But I've received an urgent message from the Alliance, and there's something I will need to take care of." She looked at them and added, "Alone."

"A solo mission?" Garrus asked after the initial murmur died down. "You sure you don't need any help?"

"I appreciate the offer, but this is how it has to be," Shepard replied. "EDI, how long will it take to get the Normandy stable for the relay?"

"Once the necessary components are acquired, I estimate nine hours will be sufficient," EDI replied.

"Omega doesn't want for shipyards," Miranda said. "Although I believe 'dismantlers' would be a more accurate word here," she scoffed. "It shouldn't take long to find what we're looking for if we begin right away."

"Do it," Shepard said. "This is not what I had in mind," she continued. "But it is something I have to do. We'll depart for Bahak System as soon as the Normandy's ready, so you'll need to take this delay into account as you contemplate your next move. Our destination after this mission is still Illium, and from there we'll move on to the Citadel as planned."

"Doesn't change anything for me," Zaeed said. "It was fun Shep, but I gotta pay the bills. And Omega is as good a place to split as any."

"I had a feeling you'd say that," Shepard said. "Find me when you're ready."

The mercenary let out a dry laugh. "We made a hell of a team," he said. "But I can't say I'll miss any of you." He gave Samara a long look. "Maybe except for you, sweetheart."

"I am flattered," said the asari. "I suppose."

"That'll be all," said the commander, holding the coffee cup and smelling the contents. "If you want to talk at length with me later, just let EDI know."

"So Joker," she heard Kasumi say as the squad left the room, "I hear you couldn't find your way to your bunk last night."

"You too?" came Grunt's voice before Joker's retort, and Shepard could only shake her head as Jack's gleeful laughter drowned out Tali's giggle.

"Hey Tali, what was that song you were singing?" Jacob asked, their voices becoming distant as they entered the armory. "Something about the moon and lovers?"

"I did not!"

"You did. Was quite loud. Also a little tone deaf. But," Mordin added quickly, "Might have been the intoxication."

"Legion," Shepard called as their laughter faded away. "Stay a minute."

Legion turned around and walked back into the briefing room. "Yes."

"I assume you have a plan to safely return to your people?" asked the commander.

"Yes. This platform has the ability to cloak. We will have no difficulty," Legion said.

"Good. Have you decided if you'll be leaving while we're still here?

"We are in the process of building consensus," said the geth, and its photoreceptor focused on the commander. "Shepard-Commander. We have reached consensus."

Shepard raised her brows; getting the strange feeling of talking to another person in the same body, which happened quite often when she spoke with Legion. She wondered if the programs could take turns as they expressed ideas, and if they had subtle distinctions between their characteristics. It was easy forgetting Legion wasn't an individual; but the commander sometimes likened the programs to the different traits that made up a single personality. Damn, she thought. Do try to understand without resorting to anthropomorphism.

"This station provides sufficient distractions for diverting attention from us," Legion said, unaware of the confusion it was evoking. "We will depart here."

"And may I ask what you plan to do when you get back?" Shepard asked.

"The old machines do not seek to destroy the geth, but we are not a part of their plan," Legion said. "We will take precautions."

"All right," said the commander with a pensive nod.

Legion held out a hand. "If you do not require further assistance from us, we see no reason to delay our departure."

"You're leaving now?" Shepard asked, taken aback by the suddenness, but she was more or less used to Legion's processing speed. She collected herself and shook the geth's hand. "Of course," she said. Conflicting feelings of caution and nostalgia made her pause for a moment before she spoke again. "EDI, Legion is free to leave."

"Understood commander," said EDI.

"Take care, Legion."

"Acknowledged."

Shepard left the briefing room and caught up with Joker on his way to the bridge.

"Hey. Thanks again for the coffee."

"And it is the good coffee," Joker said. "I had to convince Gardner that it was for you. He has a separate stash you know."

"So you weren't kidding when you said it wasn't easy," Shepard said as Joker sat down in his chair.

"Can you say anything else about this mission?" he asked. "Why do you have to go in alone?"

"I don't really know much," the commander replied. "It's an extraction. And as you know, it's in batarian space. I can't be seen before I get to the subject. More people mean more risk."

"I think I get why the Alliance asked you to do this," Joker said.

"I didn't tell you the good part yet," said Shepard. "This has something to do with the reapers. I need to find out what."

"What a surprise," Joker said. "The minute you get rid of one threat, another pops up. It's like a never ending game of whack-a-mole."

"Seems we'll have to whack them all at once to win," said the commander.

"We'll need a bigger mallet."

Shepard laughed and took a step away from the pilot when she realized that her skin tingled if she stood too close to him. This is absurd, she thought. I can manage to keep my hands off of him.

"You know there'll be trouble for you too, with all this Cerberus business," she said.

"I know." He looked at her. "What? If you think I'll lay low while you sort things out with the Alliance you're insane. I'm not leaving the Normandy. They'll take her apart when they figure what EDI is." Joker shuddered. "No way I'd let that happen."

"What if I tell you to lay low, with the Normandy? I'll do the talking, convince them to make this go away and then we can regroup."

"Tempting," said the pilot. "But right now I'm somewhere between a civilian and a freelancer for an unsanctioned black-op. I'm not sure if I have to take orders from you anymore."

"True," Shepard said, taking the co-pilot seat. "Though no one would ask too many questions to a spectre if, say, a certain pilot went missing."

"Jeez, I didn't say I won't, you hardass," Joker said, laughing. "But come on, what's the worst that can happen? Nothing's going to hold, I'll just have to go through the procedures." He activated his console. "I'm with you, commander," he said, scrolling through EDI's reports. "So don't tell me to run."

"Ok," Shepard said. "I won't." She tilted her head and stared at him with a growing smile. "Oh, you'll be such a pain in the ass. I already feel sorry for the soldiers who'll have to deal with you."

"I imagine I'll drive some of them to an early retirement," Joker agreed. "So Legion left huh?" he asked. "Bummer. I'll miss him so much."

"Save your tears for after Zaeed's gone."

"Zaeed isn't so bad—nope, can't even finish the thought."

"He really isn't," Shepard said with a sigh. "God, I hate this part."

"The glass is half full, Rye. No more Illusive Man," Joker reminded.

"You have a point. Besides, Garrus, Tali and Dr. Chakwas are sticking around for now."

"What about the rest of the crew?"

"I asked Miranda to handle it. We'll help them go their way. I owe them that much." She stared at the overhead and exhaled. "We're leaving Miranda and Kelly on Illium," she said. "Liara's arranging their rides from Nos Astra. I haven't talked to everyone yet, but I assume Samara will also take off there."

"Have you spoken to Wrex about Grunt?" the pilot asked. "Or are you taking full custody?"

"Grunt needs to fight," Shepard said. "If I subject him to bureaucracy, he might explode. I'm sending him to Tuchanka." She glanced at him. "If I find something useful on this mission, it might determine what we'll have to do next," she said. "We can always get back together once we have a clearer objective." She stood up, her heart heavy with the burden of knowing the darkness they would soon have to face. "I should go and talk to the others."

"Ok," Joker said, looking at her shadowed face. She stared back, her mouth opening without making a sound.

"Uh," uttered the pilot when the silence got too thick for him to bear. "Ok, I knew I sucked at this, but who knew you'd be even worse?"

Shepard shook her head, covering her face with her hands. "I know, I'm sorry," she said. "This is weird. I think I'll just go. Talk to you later?"

"Sure," Joker said and leaned back, enjoying her getting flustered. "See you commander."

Shepard walked on, amused with her own cluelessness. I'll get the hang of it, she thought. How difficult can it be?

She continued to the CIC and stopped as she saw most of the crewmen; already up and helping with the repairs.

Neither Alliance nor Cerberus, and with their mission already accomplished they were certainly in a weird place; but everyone continued their work like that wasn't the case. Eat your heart out, Illusive Man, she thought as she made her way to the elevator.

When the door opened, she almost bumped into Zaeed who walked out as she attempted to enter.

"Good, you're here," he said. "Tell that pilot of yours I'm off."

"Just like that?" Shepard joked. "No teary-eyed goodbyes?"

The mercenary paused and raised his hand halfway but he let it drop back at his side. "Until next time, Shep," he said.

Shepard gave him a smile and watched him go. "Until then, Massani," she said. "EDI, Zaeed is cleared to leave."

"Yes, Shepard."

"That was almost friendly," Jacob said, stepping out of the armory.

"Hey Jacob. I thought you'd be down in the mess."

"Nah. I needed a moment to myself," he said. "Do you have a moment to talk Shepard?"

"Sure," said the commander, following him to the armory. "What's up?"

"I've been thinking about this situation," said Jacob. "And where I fit in."

"I can understand that," Shepard said. "You signed up with Cerberus for the Lazarus project, isn't that right?"

Jacob nodded.

"So you don't really have a long history with them," Shepard continued. "Look, I'm going to put in a good word for all you guys, but you're already former Alliance. Think about it."

Jacob leaned his back against the lockers and looked down. "After all that's happened," he said, "I'm planning to take a vacation to think things through Shepard. No offense."

"None taken. But you might want to keep it short, because, well, reapers."

"Yeah, I know," Jacob said. "I'll help Miranda with the details of the disbandment for now. I'll take off at the Citadel."

"Appreciate that, Taylor."

"It's been an honor, commander."

"Come on, it's not time for goodbyes yet," Shepard said. "But same here."

Shepard left the CIC for the crew deck and walked to the starboard observation.

"Samara?" she said, entering the room. The asari was standing by the viewport, looking out. "You wanted to talk?"

"Shepard," said Samara, turning to her. "Yes. You are curious about what I will do next, isn't that so?"

The commander nodded. "You have fulfilled your oath, so I was wondering if any of my people has a reason to worry about the justicar on board."

"I have not witnessed anything that would compel me to kill any of the crew," Samara said, much to Shepard's relief. A confrontation with Samara wasn't how she wanted to end things with the asari.

"As you said, my oath is fulfilled," the justicar continued. "If you still plan to visit Illium before returning to the Citadel, I will take my leave once we are there. If not, this will be where we part ways."

"Illium is our destination after this mission," Shepard said. "The Citadel has too many eyes for some people to quietly disappear."

"I'm glad," said Samara. "I've enjoyed being here." She sat on the deck, watching the stars. "I've done many things in my lifetime," she said. "I thought the galaxy held nothing new for me. Since joining you, I've realized how much more there is. For that, I am grateful."

Shepard sat next to her. "It's nice to know that you feel that way," she said.

"There is something else I wanted to tell you," said the asari, turning her gaze to the commander. "Morinth… haunted my dreams and waking hours equally. But after four hundred years, I am free."

"I didn't want to pry," Shepard said. "I imagined I wouldn't be able to understand, or provide any comfort to you. But if you want to talk, I'll be here to listen."

Samara gave her a sad smile. "Your restraint was much appreciated," she said. "It was not something I wished to share at the time. I knew you would be there for me if I needed. That was enough." Her voice was laced with pain as she went on. "She was the smartest," she said, nothing but a proud, grieving mother for a brief second. "The bravest. I am a ruined vessel of sorrow and regret, but I am free. It is not a feeling I can describe."

"You don't need to," said Shepard, her eyes fixed on a distant star. How much will I have changed when I'm finally free? How much of me will still be there? What will be the cost of my freedom, if I ever manage to achieve it? She sighed and looked at the justicar. "So what will you do now?" she asked. "Do you ever think of settling down?"

"I have tried it," Samara replied. "It did not end well." She turned to the viewport. "I will fight and struggle all my life. That is my fate. When I die, it will not be in bed. I'm at peace with that."

"Your fate is not set in stone, Samara."

"I am a justicar, and justice still exists," said the asari. "My feelings have always come after my duty. The same is true of you."

"It is," Shepard agreed. It has to be.

"This is the path I have chosen. I am truly at peace. Due in no small part to you." Samara stood up. "You have been a good friend to me," she said. "After we part ways, you may call upon me for aid at any time. I will come for you, Shepard."

"That means a lot to me," Shepard said, getting up off the deck. "Thank you."

After leaving Samara, Shepard stopped by the port observation, and was greeted by Kasumi's wide grin.

Shit. "Hey Kasumi."

"Hey Shep," said the thief. "You look somehow different today. Did you change your hair?"

"I'm just here to hear about your plans, Kasumi."

"Oh, for the next twenty minutes, my plan is to torture you by suggesting things that may or may not be relevant to your nighttime activities."

"Has it ever occurred to you that when I'm not talking about something, it might be because I don't want to talk about it?"

"It has," Kasumi said. "I chose to ignore it." She slightly pulled back the hood of her top to reveal her short black hair. "Fine, I'll drop it; just don't give me that look."

"We'll dock at Illium after this mission before we move on to the Citadel," said Shepard. "What do you want to do?"

"I can a get a ride to anywhere from the Citadel, if you don't mind me tagging along for a little longer," she replied. "And there are some places I've been dying to visit," she added with a glint in her eye.

"Just… Don't give me the details."

"I won't," said the thief. "But I wouldn't mind if you did."

"Fine, let's talk about some other details then," Shepard said, crossing her arms across her chest. "Did you really destroy the graybox?"

Kasumi's smile vanished as she walked to her desk, staring at the single red rose on it. "I guess you wouldn't be able to command if you didn't know how to be cruel," she said.

Shepard rubbed her left palm with her thumb and sighed. "Even if you didn't, I know you'll keep it safe," she said. "The decision had always been yours to make Kasumi. I didn't mean to be cruel. It was just a stupid reflex."

Kasumi turned around, grinning. "Oh, you're so easy," she said flippantly, putting her hood back over her head.

"Yeah," said Shepard with an unconvinced smile. "You got me." She walked to the door. "By the way, how the hell do you know?"

"EDI," the thief said.

"EDI? Oh for fuck's sake. Even our AI is a gossip."

"It was not my intention to 'blab' as Jeff puts it, Shepard," EDI said. "I was only helping with the headcount."

"Of course you were," Shepard said, shaking her head. "Ok then, I'll see you later Kasumi."

"So was it a one-time thing?" Kasumi asked as she was leaving. "Fine, don't tell me. I'll just ask EDI later."

"Commander. Come on in," said Miranda, getting up from behind her desk. She turned off the datapad and walked to Shepard, who'd just entered the quarters. "The components have been delivered to the hangar bay. The crew is already on it."

"That was fast," Shepard said, sitting down. "Thanks Miranda. Efficient as always."

"The crew, with the exception of me and Kelly as you already know, would like turn themselves in to the Alliance alongside you," Miranda said and sat next to her on the sofa.

"Everybody?" asked Shepard.

"Are you surprised, commander?" Miranda said. "I'm not."

"It's their choice," said the commander with a smile. "I won't insult them by questioning it." She tapped on the armrest. "How's Kelly?" she asked.

"She's resting in the med-bay," the XO replied. "Dr. Chakwas gave her some sedatives to help her sleep."

"I see," murmured the commander. The yeoman had been trying to put on a brave face, but Shepard had recognized her PTSD even though the signs had been subtle. "How about you?" she asked Miranda. "Will you be safe?"

"I can take care of myself Shepard, you know that," Miranda said. "But," she continued, bringing her hands to her chin, "I'm worried about Oriana. We've relocated her using Cerberus resources. I need to make sure she'll be all right. I can't let her get caught up in this."

"Anything I can do?" Shepard asked.

"I'll handle it," Miranda said in a flat tone. Then she closed her eyes, inhaled, and turned to Shepard. "But thank you, commander."

Shepard entered her cabin, fatigued from all the talking. She picked up a glass and poured some cheap whisky before she walked to her console, realizing she was already looking forward to a new fight.

Can we really do this? she thought, missing her pilot's body close to hers. Could this be enough? Or can we change? She emptied the glass, put it on the table and activated the comm. Too early to think about that.

A scarred, intimidating face appeared on the display.

"Shepard!" Wrex roared.

"Wrex!" she greeted him happily. "You missed a hell of a battle my friend. If you keep sitting on that throne of yours you'll go soft real soon."

"Get your ass here and say that again once you're chewing the gravel before my throne," Wrex said. "How's the whelp?"

"Full of youthful enthusiasm and liquor. He's fine. But do watch him closely, because Urdnot Grunt will make a name for himself," said Shepard, the boastful krant. "I'll be sending him back to you." She paused. "A lot has happened. He can tell you all about it when he arrives."

"Good. I've heard a lot of crazy stuff already," the krogan said.

"Yeah?" asked the commander. "I bet most of it is true."

Wrex laughed, then turned serious. "Anything else I need to know Shepard?"

Shepard put her hands on the sides of the terminal and leaned forward. "Nothing's changed Wrex," she said. "They're coming. Just be prepared."

"I'm not one of your useless councilors," said Wrex. "The krogan are strong, and I'm working on making us even stronger."

"Good," said Shepard. "That's good." She lifted her head and smiled. "Looking forward to fighting with you by my side again, Wrex."

"Just like old times," said the krogan.

"Just like old times," Shepard repeated. "Shepard out." She deactivated the console and watched the fish for a while, her eyes following a dark blue one with a tail like a fan. A sudden panic seized her, cutting her breath short.

We're not ready for them.

"Shepard," EDI said, getting the commander out of her head. "Jack has informed me that she would like to speak to you. She's in the starboard cargo."

"Thanks EDI. Tell her I'm on my way."